What Are the Differences Between Soul Needs and Ego Needs?

We are souls in physical form, and we have an ego that is meant to serve us in specific ways. Frustration happens when we get their needs confused (or ignore them) rather than have them work together.

Let’s look at some ways to differentiate between ego needs and soul needs.

Ego serves us in ways that move us to take actions in our daily lives, actions meant to keep us alive and, hopefully, thriving. Ego seeks to feel a certain way, often motivated by material demands that originate outside of our soul desires; and this need leads to good choices and not so good ones. It follows logic, sometimes self-logic that desires to avoid pain at all times, rather than our emotional heart. It speaks to us in ways like, “Gotta make a change!” From ego, we may sometimes be forceful in striving for and achieving our aims.

Soul does not respond to force. It recognizes that painful or unpleasant emotions are facets of all we are capable of feeling, like needed colors in a rainbow. Soul knows we are always in flow, that our experiences have purpose for us; and its aim is for us to thrive as whole beings within the bigger picture of life. It asks us to pay attention to everything we think, feel, say, and do or don’t do. It asks us to seek what fulfillment means for us in all things, to listen to what our emotional heart tells us. Soul speaks to us through our emotional heart using intuition and positive and negative feelings. Negative feelings are as much a part of our soul-self’s communication system as positive ones.

Mainstream dissuades us from remembering that our emotional heart is another form of intelligence we possess, one that knows us intimately; whereas logic focuses on what the (usually fearful) ego wants. Ego wants to fill any void with whatever it believes will make it feel good or better. Soul wants us to empty out what no longer belongs inside us and to feel our way to what it is that truly needs to occupy that space as what will allow us to express our true selves. What fills our ego needs may not fill our soul needs. What fills our soul needs takes care of our ego needs.

Ego believes power comes from winning, from creating and having positive experiences. Soul knows the truth of our power and seeks to integrate our inner and outer power through learned wisdom into a desired collaboration between soul and ego as a way of life. Soul knows nothing is lacking, and it strives to remind us of this through sadness, frustration, depression, serenity, and joyful appreciation . . . so that we seek the truth and live from it.

Ego says, “Get rid of any negative feeling immediately.” Soul says, “Be with your feelings in a gentle way so you can get quiet and hear my message.”

Ego pushes us to look outside ourselves to define who we are. Soul asks us to know ourselves and to fearlessly reveal who we are to others through our words and actions, our talents and abilities, our visions and goals. Ego says, “I don’t love who I am, so I have to pretend to be what I believe will be acceptable.” Soul says, “No pretense ever lasts. Be who you are, who you came here to be, just as you are now and are becoming.” Ego says, “Fake it till you make it.” Soul says, “Start where you are and evolve deliberately.”

Ego wants emptiness filled in a hurry because it cannot tolerate it. Soul knows that the fastest way to fill emptiness is to allow emptiness, to surrender the ego needs about it when it shows up, and appreciate whatever value and guidance it presents. Your soul knows that appreciation of what is, is always responded to with more to appreciate. Balance of soul and ego happens when we align our inner perspective with ego’s ability to take action that’s in our best interest and for our higher evolution.

As you move through this holiday season, and as we approach not only a new year but a new decade, consider exploring how to create collaboration and alignment between ego and soul, with thriving as their common goal for you, and see what gets created from it.

You are what you practice.
© Joyce Shafer

You are welcome to reprint this article as long as you use my bio as it is published here.

Reveal what your soul wants. Order Your Personality Blueprint today from Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com), You Are More! Empowerment Coach, author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say & other books/ebooks. Benefit from empowering articles & Extras in her free weekly newsletter; see more about Your Personality Blueprint profiles & coaching; & get How to Have What You REALLY Want free when you subscribe at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com

Do You Feel Empty or Full?

Perhaps you have certain feelings or longings that are vague, or sharp. These are callings from your soul, drawing attention to areas of you that need to be filled.

At one time or another, you may feel one or more of the following:
-Depressed or at least that you could feel happier
-Desirous of more meaning in and for your life
-As though there is a void inside you and you don’t know how to fill it
-Disillusioned about life and relationships
-(Your own longing here)

Just as a desire (different from a wish) to do or be something means you have the capacity to achieve it, so does feeling a sense of longing mean your soul craves fulfillment and full expression. You, as so many do, may look to satisfy this longing from outside of yourself with more of something: money, material objects, sex, control, a perfect job, a perfect relationship, and so on. Perhaps you get these and discover you still feel empty. There’s a reason for this.

We’ve confused meeting our soul’s needs with solving what we call problems in our lives (more money, material objects, sex, control, a perfect job, a perfect relationship, and so on). Somewhere along the way, we’ve brainwashed ourselves (with the help of others who are also brainwashed in this way) that a proper life is problem-free, perfect. You are a soul having a physical experience, and you did not come here to have a problem-free, “perfect” experience. You came here to expand the depth of who you are; and to do this you must move through a depth of experiences and glean from them the value they hold for you so you can expand how you feel about your experience of being.

Your soul (your true nature) is a quality as much as it is an entity, so it (you) seeks experiences to enhance the quality of your life—the one you live inside your self. You can expand your understanding of this if you think of what the term Soul Food means: food that nourishes and pleases your physical and emotional senses, your sense of community, your memories. Soul Food provides a specific quality of experience. You go to a Soul Food restaurant deliberately to have such an experience. So does your soul enter a physical life for the same reason.

We confuse ourselves with the belief that life would be what it’s “supposed” to be if it were free of what troubles us. Yet, inside each trouble, problem, or issue is a message from our soul and the answer that will satisfy it. We rush to get rid of anything we label negative rather than look at it, which would help us discover more about ourselves in a way that would further nurture and feed our souls. This exploration and its positive results, rather than denial, is a primary reason life coaching is now such an integral part of our society’s evolution. Coaching doesn’t dwell on issues, but dives into them just long enough to find the root and pull it up painlessly. Trimming weeds never gets rid of them; you must deal with them from the root, give them a relatively quick yank from the soil. Not addressing troubling issues that hold our attention is a form of soul deprivation.

Let’s look at the feeling that your life isn’t as meaningful as you believe it can or should be. That emptiness is your soul’s message to discover what IS meaningful for you and to include it in your life. An empowering question to ask about this or anything you feel you lack within is, “Can you feel a desire for more meaning (or whatever) WITHOUT feeling disempowered?”

We tend to latch onto the feeling of disempowerment when facing issues. But are we ever truly disempowered? No. And, what do we avoid when we feel disempowered? We avoid experiencing more of what would fill us: more often than not, giving and receiving more love and care to ourselves and others. “I’m discontent so I HAVE to be rude (or some other negative expression of our discontented, fearful selves),” is how we justify certain behaviors that never bring our ultimately-desired results.

You cannot have light without shadow or darkness. You can shine light into shadows and darkness in order to see what’s really there. More often that not, what we find there is a BELIEF that we can’t deal with or won’t want to see what lurks there. A belief is not a solid thing, though it creates real experiences in our minds and oftentimes in our lives. What you entertain or thrash in your mind is what your brain believes is actually happening, and it responds with either good feelings or bad ones that create good experiences or bad ones, first at the inner then eventually the outer levels.

What can you do for this symptom of the soul? Be fully where you are rather than in a regretful past or anxious future. Choose to live each moment with an open mind and heart, trusting that you can adjust as needed, trusting that you are always empowered just by being. You can live your moments differently, deliberately, which can bring you through any situation with conscious awareness and the ability to see and use the soul value of it.

Denial is how you alienate yourself from your life and the fullness you might create in it. Denial keeps you from discovering your true nature and its strengths and beauties, then expressing these in your life. What does any level of suffering reveal to you? The answer will never be found in avoidance, only in a caring conversation with your soul self.

This approach not only can enrich your life and soul experience, but you can offer this to others as well. What will support you is to accept that you (and others) are in progress at all times. Let go of the belief that you are supposed be perfect. That isn’t what your soul seeks. Listen to your soul’s whispers and shouts for what needs filling, address these in the moment you’re in, and you’ll begin to feel emptiness being filled.

You are what you practice.
© Joyce Shafer

You are welcome to reprint this article as long as you use my complete bio.

Shift self-sabotaging behaviors & discover your authentic self through Your Personality Blueprint with Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com), You Are More! Empowerment Coach, author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say & other books/ebooks. Articles & Extras in her free weekly newsletter; more about Your Personality Blueprint profiles & coaching; get How to Have What You REALLY Want free when you subscribe at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com