This article title comes from a poster shared on a
social site; the words are a timeless truth. Maybe it’s time to put them into
practice by deepening our understanding of what they mean for us individually
AND globally.
When I’d initially decided what I wanted to write
about this week, I’d planned to include a paragraph from Lynne Twist’s book, The Soul of Money, because of its
relevance to the scarcity mindset so many around the world practice in daily life.
Then the Boston Marathon event happened on April 15, which inspired me to alter
my intended topic. Twist’s words I wanted to share took on even greater
importance, took on meaning of an even greater scope, which I believe you’ll
understand when you read them.
Here is the paragraph: We think we live in the
world. We think we live in a set of circumstances, but we don’t. We live in our
conversation about the world and our conversation about the circumstances. When
we’re in a conversation about fear and terror, about revenge and anger and
retribution, jealously and envy and comparison, then that is the world we
inhabit. If we’re in a conversation about possibility, a conversation about
gratitude and appreciation for the things in front of us, then that’s the world
we inhabit. I used to think that the words we say simply represent our inner
thoughts expressed. Experience has taught me that it is also true that words we
say create our thoughts and our experience, and even our world. The
conversation we have with ourselves and with others—the thoughts that grip our
attention—has enormous power over how we feel, what we experience, and how we
see the world in that moment.
Soon after news about the Boston Marathon was
released, I read many conversations about this event on social sites and in
personal e-mails. Understandably, some asked or commented about the kind of
world we live in. I’m in agreement with Lynne Twist that we live in a world
created by our conversations, public and private. The world, which includes you
and me, needs healing – because we need healing. And we can engage this process
by first healing our own conversations. The words being spoken by each of us
are, indeed, influencing the world house we live in, beginning with ourselves.
The thoughts, feelings, and beliefs we start
with—our conversations—are what our experiences and results will be. As I
thought about this, I imagined a GPS unit that was designed to follow and match
our thoughts, which, if you think about it, is what happens with our
self-conditioning that leads to “self-fulfilling prophecies,” and the Law of
Attraction that matches experiences to our emotion-based feelings, without
discretion. We program ourselves and our experiences akin to how we program GPS
units, through our conversations with ourselves and others; yet, we are
sometimes or often surprised about the destination we arrive at.
We can tell ourselves anything about anyone or any
thing or matter; it really is our choice. But our stories are more often than
not limited in perspective, because they are based on our perspective. This begs the question: What does anyone tell
themselves in order to convince them or others to do something that harms
others without regard, whether that’s at the severity level of 9/11 or the Boston
Marathon (or some of the other events that are even more severe or ongoing), or
cause relied-on pensions to deplete or disappear, commit crimes against or
mistreat individuals, or any number of actions that never serve and honor the
good of humanity or individuals (both those who do such acts and those who such
acts are done to)? Any such actions always begin, always are seeded, as
conversations with the self first then with others, if others are to be
involved.
We can easily condemn those who commit such acts
as with the marathon and any other events that span our individual and shared
histories, but we are also called upon to examine our own behaviors in our
personal and other relationships. Are they what they could be? Are our
conversations with those we share our personal, professional, community, or
spiritual life with what they could be? If not, we can or must begin there. We
can look at those conversations and see what we can do to improve them.
Granted, there may be some, in our personal lives
especially, who, without their collaboration, we cannot co-create a better
relationship, but we can choose the conversations we have about that, as well.
Not always easy, because it’s so tempting to appease the ego-aspect that wants
to feel justified in carrying negativity (and acting on it), but it is doable.
If we can’t collaborate, we can, at least, endeavor to find ways to cooperate
or co-exist, as much as possible. And, yes, I’m well aware of the challenges
inherent in this suggestion. The challenges present us with opportunities.
There is a lot to do, or often is; but as with any worthy goal, dream, or
improvement, you have to start where you are and keep going.
A friend included this line in an e-mail to me:
“Keep your path filled with Light.” I responded that my path will be filled
with Light if I am filled with Light, that I am the light-bringer in my life. I
am the one who illuminates my path (or casts shadows upon it); and that, of
course, this gets into my relationship with Source and with my self. This is
also a conversation that each of us might consider having with ourselves.
One way we as individuals, and all the way up to
global leaders, can begin to improve our conversations with ourselves and
others, is to ask better or right questions. Randy Pausch said, “The questions
are always more important than the answers.” He makes a strong point, when you
consider what this really means: It means examining situations and considering
solutions with different “eyes”, with more conscious awareness, especially
about how all life is interconnected and interdependent.
Kurt Wright, in his book Breaking the Rules: Removing the Obstacles to Effortless High
Performance, offers many sets of questions throughout the book. But here
are five questions that open right dialogues and stimulate productive
conversations for improvements that serve need, not greed – or hate.
- What’s
right? Or What’s working?
- What
makes it right? Or Why does it work?
- What
would be ideally right? Or What would work ideally?
- What’s
not yet quite right?
- What
resources can I find to make it right?
Many people are engaging in the wrong kinds of
conversations with themselves and others. I venture to say that each of us do
this when our ego-aspect is driving the bus rather than our TRUE spirit-aspect
that comes from conscious awareness, not dogma of any kind. All we have to do
is look around us to see this is true with our own lives and relationships, the
economy, education, the environment, etc.
Different, that is, better, conversations are
needed. We need solutions, yes, but too often we rush ahead without exploring
right questions, which would lead to right solutions rather than just expedient
ones that may or may not create better short- and long-term results for all or
the majority involved. Perhaps we could borrow a phrase segment from the
Hippocratic Oath to use as a foundation that supports any conversation we
engage in, and what comes of it: do no harm or injustice.
We can choose words of hate, anger, revenge,
arrogance, fear, scarcity, oppression, unkindness, and so on. We can choose
words of love, appreciation, compassion, spiritual trust, abundance, kindness,
and so on. We can choose to practice improving our conversational skills in
ways that open true dialogues and connection and collaboration or cooperation.
This has to start with each of us, with the conversations we have with
ourselves then with others, to eventually make a difference on a larger scale. It’s
a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
