How Can I Identify My Life Purpose, True Goals, or Bucket List?

Is there really one question or method that can help you answer each or all three of these questions? Let’s find out.

First, a few thoughts about each . . .

Life Purpose

This one gets a lot of play. I think it’s because many of us feel if we, without question, know what our purpose is, we can (we believe) demonstrate, to ourselves and others, that we actually have one. By default of being here, you have a primary purpose—to have a human experience! If you find yourself craving to know what your “specific” purpose is, how about you put that down for a bit, tune into what YOU FEEL inspired and/or motivated to do whether for all time or the next few weeks, months, or years—and do it or them. If you do that, it’s pretty darn likely that you’ll manage to live your purpose, however it gets done. Walking around wondering what it is and questioning every decision or indecision isn’t fun or fulfilling—it’s frustrating. Also know that life purpose and life work (career) may or may not be the same thing. For some it is, for others it isn’t.

True Goals

What YOU really want to do for all time or for the next few weeks, months, or years. True goals are what YOU want to experience, enjoy, achieve, fulfill, help make happen, and so on. A true goal should never, ever, ever be about what another wants or believes you should do. True goals are what you go after when you get out of your own way.

Bucket List

You’re never too young or too old to put something on this list (or check it off once achieved). If you’re not playing with such a list, consider doing so. Make it a safe zone where you write anything you wish to experience. No “I can’t” or “That’ll never happen” thoughts—if/when they occur—are to be allowed to stop you from putting down what you want, including the who, what, when, where, and how you want it to look, be, and feel for you. The HOW it happens is to be left alone, unless an inspired idea comes to you about how to help make it happen. Otherwise, putting your unfettered items on this list will, remarkably, cause them to show up at their right timing—if they are truly aligned with what you are here to experience.

So, what’s the question?

It comes from Willie Jolley. Imagine your doctor tells you s/he’s got bad news and good news. (I promise it’s like but not exactly the same as the question you already know.) The bad news is you have a condition and it’s confirmed you have exactly one year left to live. As day 365 ticks over into day 366, you exit. The good news is there’s no feelings of poor health involved—you have energy—and the really good news is that you get to pick ten things you want to do/accomplish, knowing an aspect of this condition is that you WILL succeed fully at each of them.

What ten things would you pick? To help you with this, if you decide to “play,” just start writing. If your top ten aren’t obvious, compare item one to item two. Which one matters more to you? Put a checkmark by it. Compare item one to item three and pick the one you want more. Continue this item-to-item comparison until you’ve gone through all the items. Count the checkmarks for each item and you’ll see what your top ten are. You may see that some of your items fit into Life Purpose, True Goals, or Bucket List—or two categories or all three at once.

Don’t have ten items? No problem. Just prioritize your items and get started. If other items come to mind, add them and prioritize them. It isn’t about the number of items; it’s about what you do about the ones you have.

Think this will take too much of your time because you know your list will be too long? Well, if you’re not working on at least one item on this list right now, what’s stopping you? Are you happy letting that be a reason (or excuse)? What can you do that you will do?

You are what you practice.
© 2010, Joyce Shafer

You Reached Your Goal So Why Do You Feel Less Than You Anticipated?

You pick a goal and hit it. You’re supposed to feel good or great, even amazing—but, you don’t. Hmm . . .

You followed the formula: picked a goal, made a plan, worked your plan. You succeeded, but you don’t feel the way you thought you would. What happened?

You aimed at the wrong target.

Here are three ways that can happen.

1. You set a goal based on a “should,” whether you “should” on yourself or someone else did. You did everything required, rang the bell and got the coconut—but you really desire an apple. Maybe your family or others or one other prodded you to go after a coconut or lots of coconuts. You climbed that tall tree (or more than one), perhaps at some risk, to get something you didn’t really want.

Not so far away is an orchard with the kind of apples you desire instead. Research would inform you how you can access them and about when they’ll be ready to harvest.

Going for apples you desire will be a completely different experience than going after coconuts you don’t.

2. You chose to lose weight, lost it, gained it (or more) back—because what hasn’t felt good about your life didn’t change—even though you reached your goal. This happens anytime a desire to feel a certain way about yourself is projected onto a symptom rather than identifying and addressing the cause: one or more beliefs about the self that weigh far heavier on your life than any pounds you’re unhappy about. (Note: Not everyone with extra pounds is unhappy—about their size or their life.)

3. You haven’t asked the right question or questions for you to identify your True Target. Imagine you’re standing on the edge of a field, bow in hand, arrows in a quiver. Your True Target is on the field, but so are a number of other targets. Your True Target will give you the experience you truly desire. (BIG HINT: at the inner level).

Some of the other targets may offer just a part of the whole of what you want; others imitate what you want; and others offer nothing you want. Yet, if you don’t know it’s your innate right to ask right questions for you, you may aim at and hit a target you really don’t want. But hey, it’s a target and you did hit it; and maybe you settle for it. (How’s that worked for you so far?)

Maybe you decided not to aim at not-right-for-you targets, but decided to aim at the others because you don’t know what your True Target looks like—and “maybe” you’ll guess right. Plan to stay very busy. You may even call hitting all those targets “productive.” And, your arm may get quite tired or wear out.

Or you may pause and consider, as Indiana Jones did in the third movie in that series, when he has to pick the correct chalice: What do I know—rather than what others think they know? What do you know about you and what fulfills you—or would, better than anyone else knows? Who will you listen to?

How can you identify your True Target? Be absolutely honest with yourself about what you want the experience of each aspect of your life to FEEL like at the inner level of you. Then, aim and fire until you hit the bull’s-eye.

And, if anyone tries to time how long this takes for you or comments about it, ignore them. Better they shift their focus to their own targets.

You are what you practice.
© 2010, Joyce Shafer