What Legacy Are You Creating Right Now?

It’s easy to see how some people create a legacy through how they live their lives, but are you aware of how you are doing this? Does a legacy have to be grand to count? Maybe what follows will answer that question.

Years back I watched a PBS series titled "Road Trip," where the narrator took his parents, who were in their eighties, around the United States in an RV. Sometimes when we observe others, we focus on the surface of what we see. So, what was under the surface in this instance?

The son revealed that his parents' first child was a daughter who did not live long. The four brothers grew up aware they'd had a sister and that their parents preferred not to speak about that loss. The son said he always wondered how their lives would have been different had their sister lived; that the factor of one, whether with us or gone from us, can have a profound effect.

In the final minutes of the last segment, the father sat peacefully at the end of a pier and looked out over a serene lake in a wooded area. In the voiceover for that scene, the son commented that his father was always ready to sing and laugh despite the fact he had buried a child, fought in a world war, lost his fortune and retirement twice, won over cancer, sustained a marriage for six decades, and with his wife raised four sons into good men. He said when his father left the earth no one would name a street after him or take special note of him in history. Yet, he left a quiet legacy that would affect several generations because of who he was and how he chose to live his life. The father’s factor of one touched and influenced every person he interacted with, most especially his family.

The father didn’t focus on creating a legacy; he focused on living in a way that made sense to him, especially when faced with life events and circumstances that had the potential to wear him down. He aimed to do and be the best he could, in light of whatever came his way. Some of us are aware of the legacy we create through how we live and what and how we contribute to others and life. Most of us never give our legacy a thought, which is fine. Such contemplation isn’t required in order for a legacy to be created; it’s created with or without that contemplation.

At this point, you may be thinking about moments from your past that you don’t feel good about. Anything from your past that you regret—let it go—it’s over. You can make better choices from this moment on. You know more and are more now than you were then. Yes, learn from those times, but let them go. Right now, in the moment you stand in, you can decide who you are and how you want to be and will be, from this time forward, aware that you leave an imprint. I recall something I was told by a music teacher way back when: even if you mess up in the middle of singing a song, as long as you end the song really well, that’s what people will mostly remember. Your life can be the same as a song. Your life is your song.

We all have occasion to feel overwhelmed by events. In such moments, we may temporarily forget our contribution to the bigger picture of our shared lives. We may forget that our own factor of one creates ripples at all times. On the positive side of this, we don’t always know when one seemingly simple gesture, word, or kindness on our part reaches into the heart of another and makes a significant difference. I venture to say this happens more often than we are aware of.

Legacy is about what we contribute while we’re here. It doesn’t have to be grand; it just has to come from our heart and authentic self. It may be as simple as the example we are to others, not that we are to overwhelm or burden ourselves with thoughts of this. Our example does not guarantee good or bad behavior from others. Each of us is, after all, responsible for who and how we are and what we choose. It’s ultimately about what we desire to see when we view ourselves in the mirror of our lives, not how others see us. However, in some respects, they will see us the way we see ourselves, as well as some of our aspects we are not necessarily conscious of.

Keep in mind that every moment of our time on this earth is a pebble dropped into a pond. We may be aware of how we affect those nearest to our center point and forget to be aware of how far the ripples may travel. Each of us creates a legacy, more often a fairly quiet one than not. But as with the quantum universe, the size of our legacy is irrelevant. Every ripple is significant in some measure, contributes to the whole. Every ripple is a relevant thread in the larger tapestry.

Perhaps from this moment on, we can remember that we are weavers and can seek to ensure that some of our threads are ones that endure the tests of time, integrity, and merit. It’s never too late to start now. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.    

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

Do Your Thoughts Rub You the Wrong Way?

There is a phrase, “That person rubs me the wrong way,” that basically means the person (though it could also apply to a situation) doesn’t make you feel good and, in fact, irritates you. You, at times, do this to yourself with your thoughts (most of us do). So, what works to shift this?

This topic reminds me of that old joke where the patient tells the doctor that hitting his head against the wall gives him a headache. He asks the doctor what can be done about the pain. The doctor replies, “Stop hitting your head against the wall.” Seems obvious, but we do this to ourselves in many ways and more often than we realize.

I’m always amazed when I do this to myself. It’s as though particular situations that crop up cause a form of temporary amnesia and I, at least for a little while, forget what I know about Source and how everything works based on past experiences that proved the Truth. If you’re nodding your head in agreement because you do this too, I ask you to pay attention to which situations lead you down this path. It’s likely the same types each time. These are trigger points bringing our attention to issues (or beliefs) that we haven’t as yet resolved in our favor.

Esther Hicks of Abraham fame has a video on YouTube, “Now Is Where All Your Power Is, Part 2,” where she likens feeding negative thoughts—any thoughts that take you out of feeling good—with rubbing your hand on sandpaper. You wouldn’t deliberately rub your hand on sandpaper for an extended period of time because it would hurt, remove skin, require healing, maybe lead to infection, and so on. But, you will rub your thoughts in this way: it’s a habit that seems logical because it is a widespread social, and especially familial, practice. It’s likely that nearly everyone you know does this from time to time. You may have worked yourself, or watched someone work him- or herself, into a frothy state of anger or upset about something that isn’t even happening at that moment, or is long or long-enough over. Focus is on what happened, rather than what can be done to improve circumstances.

A good example of this is replaying in your mind and verbally repeating events you’ve labeled “negative” that happened in the past. How many times will you need to replay and repeat “negative” past events before you feel better about them or change them to “positives” in the present moment? You may even do this when you anticipate negative events that “might” happen. It’s a hamster wheel experience.

What does this habit allow you to do? Let’s first look at what it doesn’t do or allow you to do. It doesn’t empower you. It doesn’t allow you to feel appreciation. It doesn’t allow you to feel aligned with what’s good in your life. It doesn’t open you to inspired ideas and creative solutions. It doesn’t allow more good in this specific circumstance to come to you; and if more good does pierce that energy, you may not appreciate it fully.

It does present you with an opportunity (maybe even Opportunity No. 5,798) to ask different questions about it such as: What can I learn about myself from this? If I don’t like what I learn, how can I shift that? In what way does this make me feel disempowered? How can and will I empower myself about this? What does this opportunity allow me to do, and will I do it?

When I catch myself doing this, and when I remember to ask myself two specific questions, I immediately cease to use sandpaper on my thoughts (although, sometimes it takes several repetitions of the questions and answers before I really get it!). The questions and answers are these: Q: “Where am I?” A: “Here.” Q: “What time is it?” A: “Now.” Obviously, this re-minds me to return to the “here and now,” rather than stay in my ego-aspect’s not-so-pleasant musings. Here and now is where any solutions I require will surface; and they’ll surface when I calm myself and my energy so that the solutions can reach me.

The tendency to use your thoughts like sandpaper on your psyche comes from knowing that whatever causes you to feel out of alignment, negative, angered, hurt, or fearful, wasn’t or hasn’t been resolved or addressed within you in a way that allows you to feel the way you want to feel. Maybe it’s something you can address in the present, and maybe what you need to address is what you’re doing to yourself (and perhaps others) in the present, through your mental attitude. “Ask yourself this question: Is my attitude worth catching?” - Anonymous

You may feel it’s logical or justified to place responsibility for how you feel or your ability to shift how you feel onto someone directly involved. How’s that worked for you so far? Maybe it worked in some way (like for manipulation), but do you feel serenely self-empowered when you do this? Your ego-aspect may feel justified and even somewhat satisfied if you put responsibility for how you feel on another. But, if you give any person responsibility for how you choose to feel, then that person has the power over you and your mental attitude, not you. If you practice this denial of your power, you know it’s not the truth—because of the resistance you experience when you do it. That resistance is a trigger to re-MIND yourself that the power truly is within you.

Here are ways to shift any thoughts about anything you use repeatedly like sandpaper on your psyche, whether from the past or now:

1.       Notice that you’re doing it. Notice what you’re allowing yourself to feel and be by doing this. Notice this without judgment, because self-criticism is another form of sandpaper—a very coarse form.

2.       Ask, “What part of this reflects something in me?” You may not like this fact, but anything you harbor resentment about is something you do in a similar way, even though it may appear as different, so different, you may not even recognize you’re repeating a pattern you detest in another. This level of self-assessment may not (initially or ever) feel good, but it is extraordinarily powerful on many levels. If you still practice the negative aspect, you’ll find you feel annoyance with the individual. If you’ve resolved it within yourself, you’ll find you feel empathy and or compassion for the individual involved. This doesn’t mean you have to put up with any crap from them, just that you don’t engage them or the situation in the same way as you would if angered.

3.       Ask, “What can I do about this that I will do?” You may know what you can do, but what can you do that you will do? One thing you can do is find something to appreciate about this. You can appreciate that you notice you’re doing this and that you can ask the right questions about this from a sincere desire to shift and self-empower (sometimes the right question is “What’s the right question to ask about this?”). You can appreciate how this process leads to deeper understanding and compassion of and for yourself and others. You can appreciate the feeling of relief you get when you empower yourself to stop rubbing your thoughts the wrong way and then rub them the right way.

You may also experience challenges about allowing what you say you want into your life. Any thought about what you desire that rubs the wrong way, will slow or prevent what you want coming to you as quickly and easily as it might or would otherwise. It’s like saying No or Not Yet. When this habit surfaces, you can diffuse it with this question: “Does allowing this thought pattern support me to move forward, self-empower, and feel the way I want to feel now?” If it doesn’t, you need to find a thought pattern that does.

If something needs addressing, address it. Otherwise, find and use a thought pattern that lifts your mind and emotions from the sandpaper. The most immediate relief is to stop doing it when you notice you’re doing it. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.             

          

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

When One Door Closes, What Do You Do?

Maybe a door that closes is small and made of plywood or huge and made of Australian hardwood, but it's still a door that closed; and you feel you're not standing on the side you thought you would be. Now what?

Inventor Alexander Graham Bell said, “When one door closes, another one opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

One kindness we can do for ourselves is to have dreams or goals, aim for them, move toward them, but remain flexible. Some things turn out just as we hoped. Some turn out better than we imagined; and others go in a direction opposite of where our target was or what we believe we want. Sometimes a door closes not because we were rejected, but because of something we rejected at the inner level. It’s very easy to say we want something and yet deep down we either don’t actually want it or don’t want it enough to do what it takes, or we know at our core that it isn’t right for us, or we doubt that we deserve it. The only person who can know which is the one that is a match for you at such a time is you.

The One Source has set up this Universe and version of reality so that all forms of abundance, prosperity, and wellbeing, on all levels, are yours—always and in all ways. But Source can only provide these to you as a result of your mental attitudes: that’s part of its set-up, so that all of us have ongoing opportunities to choose how we experience, expand, and evolve. If your mental attitude, likely instilled in you and reinforced by others, is one of lack or being undeserving, you possibly or probably, through your mental attitudes, reject your Good without realizing it more often than you realize.

I know someone who, years back, envisioned her target. Over time, she attempted to sneak up on it; sometimes she took aim, fired, and missed. Were she to be scored on determination and tenacity, her number would be quite high; but she forgot to remember her target was in a field shared by others and influenced by life. She forgot to be flexible. So fixated was she on her desired “door,” when another one opened that offered the best outcome, she couldn't see it for what it was and not only slammed the door, but cemented it shut.

Maybe each of us has done something similar. Her story is an example of someone who doesn't simply have a goal or dream, but an agenda. People with goals or dreams, keep their eyes, minds, and hearts open for and to others and resources that help make it happen, and they modify or adjust as needed. Those with an agenda manipulate, or try to, and get angry or despondent when things don't go their way. If the door they focus on closes, they fail to notice they're standing in a room full of doors where equal or better outcomes await them.

I paraphrase a quote we should keep in mind when events don’t go as we hoped: A “rejection” may be for our protection. Rejection does tie in with perceived closed doors. Whenever we face a major life change, it’s feasible that we might feel life itself has rejected us and our desired outcome. Ultimately, rejection happens in only one place: Within ourselves. What the closed door represents has all to do with feelings or emotions we may have to heal or deal with. At some point, we should recognize that the door is closed, perhaps even locked, perhaps for our own protection. When we acknowledge this, we can give ourselves permission to make a slow circle and notice the other doors available to us, ones we haven’t noticed before. For some of us, the only way we ever walk through the right-for-us door is if the one we’d attached ourselves to slams in our face.

Next time a door closes for you, plywood or hardwood, take the time you need to experience what you feel. Allow yourself to look for what can be learned or state that even if you can't see it now, there is surely something you can gain from your experience. Any form of rejection is always an opportunity to learn something about ourselves. Then, take a couple of deep calming breaths, draw your shoulders back, stand up straight, and look around until you find the door you are meant to walk through next. Go ahead. Take that first step. Your life, and the Good it wants to provide to you, is waiting for you to arrive. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.                

         

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

How Perfect Do You Believe You Have to Be?

Did anyone ever tell you, “If you’re not going to or can’t do it right, don’t do it at all”? That “advice” can be appropriate at times, but the rest of the time, it sets you up for self-sabotage and lack, actual or perceived.

Obviously, there are times when you hope that’s the motto of a person, and you expect them to abide by it, such as someone performing surgery or a medical procedure, or a hairdresser who’s to cut, color, or perm your hair. You want them to get it right, no question about it. So, excluding any specific, significant actions when this statement should apply, we’re left to consider how it applies to the rest of our experiences and actions. How does that statement work for those? Not always for our benefit, that’s for certain. Who can actually say what the absolute “right” way is in some instances or circumstances? The truth is that there isn’t always just one right way to do some things, but you can believe there is and flummox yourself (and others) with this belief. 

For example, I learned about oil pulling and decided to give it a try. (I like it, so still do it.) If you’re not familiar with this medicinal technique, you can look it up online; there are sites devoted to its benefits. But so you know enough about why the statement applies here, I’ll give a brief explanation. You put a teaspoon or so of coconut oil (or one of the other recommended oils) into your mouth upon waking, let it melt, and swish it around for 20 minutes then dispose of it properly. I told a friend about it and she was interested, as well.

When I spoke with her about this at a later time, she told me that it didn’t work for her to do oil pulling in the morning so she couldn’t do it. The way she explained this came across as her really wanting to do it, but she couldn’t do it the way it’s supposed to be done. I said, “Do it later in the day.” She was surprised at the idea, and thanked me for giving her permission to do this—“permission” was the word she used. We have the “fact” of authority figures heaped on us as children and teens. As adults, we are our own, best authority, or should be.

The fact is this: I didn’t give her permission; I suggested an alternate option. If she chose the option, she gave herself permission. Just as one blogger said if you can only do 10 minutes in the morning, do it and do 10 minutes in the afternoon to get the 20 minutes in. Sometimes, I have only 15 minutes, so do that. Better some benefit than none. There are some prescription medications that you have to adhere to a schedule about, and if you miss one, you have to do specific things—this isn’t like that. Many things are not like that. But when you’ve had “If you’re not going to or can’t do it right, don’t do it at all” drilled into you, as I know my friend (and many of us) had, the moment you can’t do something precisely as is recommended or is considered optimal, you might, as she did, believe that means you can’t or shouldn’t do whatever it is or some modification of it at all. Bah! Humbug!

I’ve had to modify my life in some measure, for a specific reason. And there have been times when an expert said or wrote that to accomplish a desired outcome, people (I) had or have to do XYZ in a specific way—and that way didn’t or doesn’t work for me. What to do, what to do? It’s empowering to relax the mind, ask Source for guidance, receive it, act on it, and get desired results. It’s empowering to create something that is appropriate for you and creates desired results. That’s how my first book got written after struggling with how to do it for two years. I stopped taking unproductive action (including suggestions of experts) and asked Source to show me the way. I halted every thought and action my ego-aspect suggested about the book (it had already used two years of my time and energy) and affirmed that I would KNOW, without doubt, the right way when it came to me. It took two months (I had to relax and release), but when the “how” came, it flowed into and through me, and the book was written in two months, writing for 30-45 minutes in the morning, 5 days a week.

Do what you can as best as you can with anything that doesn’t require the skill of a surgeon or the dosage of a medication or the precision of a soufflé. Get whatever benefits you can get by doing what you can do, when you can do it. Don’t let that “do it right or don’t do it at all” statement and or the people who abide by it for every single action act as party-poopers in and on your life. Let “Necessity is the mother of invention” be your motto. Be creative. Come up with options that work for you.

In the greater scheme of life, seldom is there only one absolute way to do some things. The arts demonstrate this all the time. There is no one way to paint, sculpt, compose, sing, play an instrument, dance, write, and so forth, about any creative endeavor. There are as many ways as there are individuals who do them. There may be aspects such creations have in common with their similar modes of expression and some basic rules that apply to each, but something unique to each creative person will emerge. At least, that’s what is desired by the individuals and those who appreciate their works and the arts.

When you let that “do it right or don’t do it at all” statement lead you by the nose about everything, you exist in restriction and lack. You block your creativity and abundance. Don’t do that. What works for one person may not work for you—and that’s OKAY! Find what works for you in every area, phase, and season of your life. It’s the only way to be and feel authentic. It’s the only way to discover and experience your unique expression and or offer it to others. Appropriate-for-you options lead you to learn or discover something you otherwise might not have or to create something you otherwise might not have, something that may benefit others as well as you. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.               

         

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

Something Wonderful Happens Today!

Emma Curtis Hopkins’ words may not be easy to hear and digest, but they are on point: “The world in which we live is the exact record of our thoughts. If we do not like the world we live in, then we do not like our thoughts.” I’m sure some are ready to disagree with that.

"It never stops," a young woman once said to me after listing situations that were happening in her life and her family's. I wished it were possible to download some of my inner lessons to her consciousness so she wouldn't exist mired in negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. But, the fact is that each of us has to determine and develop our own inner guidance system that helps us maneuver our way through challenges and life. Until such statements as "It never stops" and others she may practice and dwell on no longer “serve” her (and she stops feeding them), her life is going to feel like, and likely be like, a constant struggle—at least, at the inner level, if not the outer.

We all have moments when we feel stuck in such an inner place; but thankfully, we can emerge eventually—if that’s our true choice. I’ve certainly had my share of these. So, I know what it’s like. And I know how easy it is to move into that space and not realize you’ve taken up residence there. It’s like getting so used to your own clutter that’s accumulated over time that you don’t have the same awareness of it as others might. Then one day, you look around and say, “What am I doing? This has got to be uncluttered. I can hardly think because of all this mess.” And, you’re right. Internal or external, clutter is clutter. Sometimes it’s clutter, sometimes it’s garbage. And when it comes to Law of Attraction, the same adage that applies to computers fits: Garbage in, garbage out.

James Allen, who wrote As A Man Thinketh, stated, "No situation can be difficult of itself; it is the lack of insight into its intricacies, and the want of wisdom in dealing with it, which give rise to the difficulty." John Homer Miller said, "Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." My father offered wisdom about this when he told me it isn't about how we solve situations in life that's most important, because there will be some we aren't able to solve—they resolve themselves or time resolves them. He said what is important is how we manage ourselves in the midst of challenges.

One of our greatest gifts as humans is our ability to have emotions and feelings. We need to honor these because they offer so much to us as forms of inner communication that can lead us to learn more about ourselves and strengthen the foundation of who we are as individuals. What we need to remember is not to get too comfortable in a woe-is-me mental attitude. We are meant to take time needed to feel what we feel, but then we can aim to take ourselves to the next level so we can move forward or upward into improved inner and outer circumstances and experiences. A woe-is-me attitude is the same as physical clutter: you don’t know what you really have or can do until you clear what doesn’t belong there from the space.

Some of the experiences the young woman spoke of were ones she could do nothing about personally. Generally, what rocks our boats when we face certain situations is that we realize we are not in total control of everything that happens in life. But, we are participants in what happens during and afterward. We can exercise control over ourselves. We can, as Allen says, look for insights and wisdom. We can, as Hopkins says, consider which thoughts of ours create the inner and outer worlds we do not like and which create the worlds we do; and we should keep in mind another part of her comment: “Exaltation is a magnet for all good things of the universe to hasten to you.”

Exaltation is another word for deeply-felt appreciation for the Truth about Source and what Source has provided for us, which I comment more on in an upcoming paragraph. When we consider circumstances as insurmountable, we ignore the creative power of the One Source of Infinite Love and every natural law put into place by Source to support our innate personal power through our connection with Source and all in existence. As the old saying goes, “Can’t never could.” Can starts inside of us, always.

An unknown source said, "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day." Or, you might say this: Something wonderful happens today. This isn't a wish-it-were-so phrase, expect it. Just be open to the something wonderful being whatever it will be. It may be spectacular or you may have to look for its small glint among the day’s details that require your attention. It may be a diamond or one flake of glitter, but know it's there. You might also practice what the elusive, wise Anonymous posed: "Ask yourself this question: Is my attitude worth catching?"

Improved circumstances are not about Source and life doing things differently so you can respond and feel better, but about you being different in a way that lets Source and life respond to you—match your mental attitude—in the way you prefer. This mirror-image attracting process was set up by Source in the way it was for a purpose. I can almost hear Source saying, “Here’s everything you need. What you do with it is your choice. You got da power! I made sure of it.” It helps to keep in mind that what we give, we receive, whether tangible or thought-forms.

I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating: It’s not about what you can get from the flow, but that you get into the flow. However, I add that you are not to let the ego-aspect taunt you with jibes that say you’re supposed to be in flow all the time or you’re a failure. It’s more important that you discover what puts you back into the flow, whenever you have a need to do this.

Your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and words have all to do with your getting into the flow or watching it pass by you while you stand at the edge of it, waiting for something to jump out and into your arms. That may happen (it does), but it’s best if you jump into the flow—if you pop out, pop back in as soon as you can. The first jump you make is with your mental attitude: Something wonderful happens today, and it never stops. Will you look for and appreciate what sparkles in your life? Will you look for and appreciate the Truth of Source and trust it with absolute faith (faith is the absence of doubt)? It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.              

         

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

How Do We Release the Past?

How often we hear that it’s important and freeing to release the past. But, how exactly do we do that? If doing this hasn’t been easy for you, maybe this will help.

I’ve recently written about thoughts that have come to me from Catherine Ponder’s book, The Secret to Unlimited Prosperity, which as I stated before, isn’t solely about prosperity. This is because prosperity is not just about money; it’s about health, well-being, personal and professional relationships, success, and more. This means that thoughts of lack about any one of these will more than likely affect one or more of the others, as well as the big picture of your life. It’s just like when you’re unwell or tired: you aren’t as proficient and efficient as when you’re well and rested. Where do thoughts of lack originate from? Only one place that I can think of: the past. For a better now and future, you must stop living in and based on the past, and begin to live where and when you are: now.

I’ve included segments from Ponder’s book in previous writings, but a few of them are so significant to releasing the past, I’m going to provide them again according to how I add personal meaning to them. Ponder stated that those who have released the past and have accepted mentally the possibility of good are those who get results. First of all, that’s like the chicken and the egg to me. Do you first release the past so that you can mentally accept the possibility of good or does this happen the other way around? Perhaps they happen in gradual measure simultaneously. Doing one should certainly result in the other, whichever order they happen in; maybe you bounce back and forth between the two. However, this is not something to focus on; I just find it interesting to give it a glimpse. It’s more important to do both, no matter the order or process.

Ponder asked, “Are you so attached to old patterns of living that you cannot get along comfortably without them? Are you emotionally attached to lack and illness?” If we hang on to the past and or thoughts of lack in any area of our life that happened or originated in the past, we are attached to that way of thinking, like it or not. Well, ouch. So, perhaps say instead, “I now attach myself to improved circumstances and thoughts about this. I now attach myself to abundance, prosperity, and well-being and thoughts about this. I am no longer hypnotized by appearances, especially from the past. I now mentally accept better circumstances as mine and my right.”

She also asked (and here, I add some words of my own), If you truly want abundance, prosperity, and well-being, do you still gain satisfaction from self-pity over your health, well-being, and finances? You must give up something to make way for health, well-being, and prosperity—probably self-pity and bitterness; probably the belief that you have had a hard time. Again: ouch. Let’s face it: There will be times when we feel sorry for ourselves, but that’s different than taking up residence in self-pity land. And, okay, I can hear, and I completely understand from my own experiences, anyone grousing about that last part she said. What the hell does she mean by calling the fact of a hard time or times in the past a belief?! One contemporary premise says you can change your perception about anything (reframe). This is true, but I offer there’s something else involved. I’ll get to that.

We know that we can’t actually release the past—because it no longer exists! Yes, in some instances, there may be physical scars from one or more events that happened in the past, but they are, usually, healed as much as they’ll ever be, unless they’re still in the healing stage. So, we’re really looking at emotional scars. But what is an emotional scar? It can’t be seen. We can’t take medication for an emotional scar (meds may do some things about emotions or mood, but not what we’re ultimately looking for which is natural freedom from their chokehold on us). We can’t physically find emotional scars so that we can put a balm on them; so the only place an emotional scar exists is in our memory.

What is memory? Let’s consider the fact that every single thing you’ve ever seen, heard, tasted, smelled, felt, sensed, and experienced is even now holding a space in your mind’s library called Memory. This means to experience a memory, you or an outside trigger has to activate it, like pulling up a song on an iPod. So, to experience a memory, you have to deliberately bring to mind or continue to think, once a thought arises, about something that’s not happening now or has happened yet, but that has already happened. Some emotional scars may require time and even therapy to assist with healing; but eventually, to be free of their effects (not their memory), we have to alter how we think about them and how often. Do we reflect on them at times or do we allow them to control us?

Practice a thought often enough or with enough emotional attachment and it becomes a belief. A belief is nothing more than a thought you abide by and practice. No thought, no belief. Simply put, you can’t have a belief without a thought that supports or nurtures it: Ponder used the correct word. I know you already know all of this; but it takes more than realizing it if you’re to release the past: this has to be put into practice.

Now, the ego-aspect may have a problem with all of this because ego tends toward black-and-white thinking, such as, “If I’m to release the past, then that means I have to act as if or somehow convince myself that what happened never happened or wasn’t as bad as I’ve thought.” See what I mean? That’s a totally unrealistic approach and mindset (spiritual comprehension and resolution can shift perspective about something that happened, but not ego-aspect); yet, the ego-aspect will try to take us into that contradictory experience. And if we don’t go there, the ego-aspect will take us on a guilt-trip instead. 

The only things about this that you can actually release are your thoughts in the present about the past. And, in fact, you don’t release them: you just don’t entertain them when they come up, and they will. Nor do you dredge them up on purpose. Sure, if a thought about something from the past rises to the surface, maybe you should give it a look, maybe ask questions about this. Maybe there’s a significant message there that’s to help you right now or in the future. But maybe it’s a neuronal pathway that’s been triggered, and the ego-aspect has slipped an old, scratched album onto the turntable of your mind (any of you reading this too young to know what a turntable is, please look it up on your favorite i-Product).

Negative thoughts about the past do something unpleasant: They cause the body, mind, and emotions to feel as though whatever it is we think about is happening again—right now. Down goes our mood. Down goes our health. Down goes our energy. Down goes our enthusiasm. Down goes our ability to attract more of what we truly desire. Down—We—Go…into a form of mental constipation. What we need to realize is that such thoughts “rob us of today’s happiness,” as Ernest Holmes wrote. Or as author Rebecca L. Norrington asks in her book, RealitySpirituality: The Truth About Happiness, if something detracts from your happiness, why do it? There’s more to it than that, but you get her point. A lot of what detracts from our happiness is self-inflicted.

It’s obvious that the way we release the past so it stops impinging on our present and future experience is to mentally accept that different, better circumstances are possible and our right. Then we entertain those thoughts, and do so from a place of inner serenity, as much as we can, and cease entertaining any opposing thoughts about this (by entertaining, I mean inviting a thought in and feeding it as you would a guest). This never means that we ignore what should be addressed and adjusted. It means we give up the habit or addiction of dwelling on what we’d call the crappy stuff that came before this moment.

If what happened taught you something, that’s terrific. But sitting in a steaming pile of it over and over again without at least growing one flower in its center is a waste of life force and attracts more of the same or worse, AND it causes you to feel bad (reread the parts about attachment to self-pity and being too comfortable in that place). It’s also obvious that we must pay attention to triggers that cause us to travel down rutted roads yet again and, instead, deliberately take the high road. If you’re fully occupied with and committed to traveling the higher road, you’ll be looking ahead to where you’re going, not back at where you’ve been. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.             

         

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

Make Your Heart Sing

"Everything I do, I do to make my heart sing." This is a quote by Michael E. Angier, founder and chief inspiration officer of SuccessNet. I like this quote because it makes sense to me. However, I don't view it the way you might think.

I can see how someone might interpret this quote to mean they should either feel ecstatic about everything they do or they should elect to do only that which they believe or know will make them feel that way. For me, it represents a tool for self-inspiration.

Even if it doesn't appear as such, everything we do gets done because we choose to do it. We really could choose not to be responsible so as not to deal with paying the rent or mortgage, or meeting commitments. Even if something "makes" you feel terrible like going to a job you're discontent with, you still choose to go there every day.

There are occasions when I opt not to do something based on my needs or wants at that time. Even when I choose to do something I perceive as tedious or serious, I strive to look for an aspect about it that is congruent with head and heart alignment (though, sometimes this may take a while, depending on the emotions involved and the event). Head and heart alignment makes my heart sing; it makes me feel spiritually solid. Head and heart alignment, to me, is about being on purpose. It's about being true to my Self and feeling a sense of personal integrity.

So many people struggle with self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, and so forth. Look at those compound words. All of them begin with the Self. Everything, actually, begins with the Self. We're still healing—or need to—from the indoctrinated belief that considering ourselves first is Self-ish. It isn't, not if it’s done in the right way from the right mindset and spirit. For example, when we do something for another, or for any reason, either from guilt or fear of some kind (often of rejection), and resent doing it, we engage in a form of self-destruction. There's no head and heart alignment in that type of scenario, no way for the heart to sing, no way to feel authentic or spiritually solid.

"What's in it for me?" is the question sales motivators tell us is what is foremost in the minds of potential customers or clients. I use this question, especially when I find I'm involved in unpleasant or serious circumstances. At the very least, what can be in it for me is the opportunity to find my place of integrity; an opportunity to observe my thoughts, words, and actions; and an opportunity to see who I choose to be in each moment.

We've heard that even the most giving act is selfish because we do it to make ourselves feel good, or at least, that is the inevitable outcome. Everything we do has a symbiotic effect. There's no way to avoid that. There is a way to make it work for us. If you can approach every moment with a what's-in-it-for-me-at-a-deeper-level process, and do so with a broader purview as described above, and if your heart has seemed silent, prepare for it to sing with serenity, joy, and purpose more often. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.           

         

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

Go With vs. Get into the Flow

“Go with the flow” was and still is a popular thing to say and attitude to have. But what about “Get into the flow”? Is there really a difference? I say yes.

I think there is a difference, or at least, I feel one at an inner level, so trust that feeling in how I relate to my experiences. For me, going with the flow represents a couple of attitudes. One attitude is when things are going a certain way and you flow with it, say, like instead of trying to control what happens at a dinner party or picnic, you just allow the experience to unfold and are in the now with whatever happens. Another go-with-the-flow attitude is when something happens that your ego-aspect wants to resist but you release the resistance. This doesn’t mean you don’t take action, if action is needed, but you quiet your resistant ego-aspect and engage your mind and spirit instead so that you have presence of mind as needed.

What prompted me to perceive a difference between go with the flow and get into the flow was when I heard or read (I don’t recall how or who) “It’s not about what you can get from the flow, but that you get into the flow.” Often, we think of go with the flow as a way to get what we need or desire from the flow—the Universal Energy-Matching Marketplace—whether that’s a feeling or something tangible. But that has a certain passive energy to it. Get into the flow, for me, has a feeling of serene inner action that’s highly attractive to the Good that Source wants me to enjoy and benefit from. It says to me that I’m not just going along, but am engaged with aligning my energy with the flow, order, and creative consciousness of Source. It says I’m in partnership with Source. Maybe that’s just me, but I feel a true difference between the two statements. It’s the difference between having access to one or a few items you need or desire and having unlimited access to what you need or desire.

Ever have one of those moments, events, or days when it appears that if something can go wrong, it seems to? That’s a time when both go with the flow and get into the flow can make a difference, and for me, they happen in that order, if I wasn’t in the flow to start with—which happens. While living in New York City, I was to set up a booth at an event. The event was one I not only looked forward to but carefully planned for. My handouts, business cards, and artificial bonsai tree were packed and ready to go in my wheeled suitcase the day before the event. It was scheduled to start at noon and last until two o'clock; which meant I needed to be at the site for 11:30 so I could set up my table. I was ready!

The morning of the event, I went through my usual meditative routine, and included my mantra, used especially when I have to commute or travel: I'm always in the right place at the right time with the right action and the right people. Using the subway on a Saturday means you have to allow extra time for a slower commute; for me, about an 80-minute ride to my destination. If I left by 10 a.m., I'd have enough time for the ride and to walk to the site. I didn't leave my apartment until almost 10:15. Pulling my weighted suitcase on the bumpy sidewalk, I made it to the subway station, a 15-minute walk without a suitcase. The entrance was roped off because the interior was being painted. I'm always in the right place . . .

I repeated my mantra as I quickly pulled my suitcase the eight blocks north to the next subway stop, also roped off. My brain went into gear: There wasn't enough time for me to keep walking north until I found an open station. I didn't have enough cash on me to take car service as far as the site, nor did I want to pay around $70 for a ride that cost $2.50 on the subway. And, that was just one way.

A note on a post caught my attention: It advised subway riders to use one of the shuttle buses they provided because of this (I hadn’t seen that sign at my original subway entrance). I crossed the street to where others stood at a regular bus stop. A woman explained what I had to do. I checked my watch; it was 10:40. The bus pulled up, I got on, and asked the driver if he was taking us to the next transfer station where I could catch the train. "It's not running there,” he told me. “You have to go to the transfer station after that one." Only 18 blocks, but to my now-getting-a-little-concerned ego-aspect, it seemed like 18 miles. I'm always in the right place . . .

I hurried down the steps to the subway platform. An express train was there and I flew through its doors and got a seat. At the main transfer station, I changed to the express train that would take me to my stop on Manhattan's Upper West Side. It was 11:20 and I was at a station in Lower Manhattan when I realized there was no express service in the city on Saturday; we'd make every local stop.

Understand, I wasn't upset or losing it, though I was bemused; then I was amused as I realized this was an opportunity to really practice what I preach. There was no way I could arrive frazzled and tout coaching to get peaceful, poised, on purpose, and empowered. I laughed to myself and believed it would all be fine. I chose to have an inner and outer experience that I'm always in the right place . . . What was happening at the inner level up to this point was I was going with the flow—until I had this realization on the train. At that moment, I got into the flow.

Remarkably, I arrived at the site at 11:45, ready to get set up and meet and greet the people. The room wasn't ready, and everyone hosting a table stood around looking not too happy. We didn't get our room until 12:15. It took no time for me to set up, so I started helping everyone who said they needed extra hands. I was the only one there who seemed to be in a good mood; everyone else seemed or was stressed. I activated my clown chakra and got some of them to smile and several to laugh. I was not just going with the flow: I was in it, a part of it.

At first blush, it might have appeared that lots of things went wrong. However, every time something seemed to go awry, something terrific followed it, because of both going with and then being in the flow. I chose to be the experience I wished to have. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.          

         

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

What Really Blocks the Good Stuff From You and Your Life?

Maybe you’ve been on the spirituality/metaphysical/Law of Attraction path for quite a while, yet don’t feel as in the flow as you’d like to or that it’s easy to get in the flow, no matter what you know. What’s up with that?

You may or may not like what this is really about, but until you take hold of it to help you move forward, you’ll likely stay frustrated in one or more areas of your life. Ernest Holmes got right to it when he wrote, “We are One with the Universe, and that Spirit flows through us at the level of our recognition and embodiment of it…. Spirit expresses itself through each individual at the level of his [or her] consciousness.”

Okay, so we have to face the truth that this is akin to water seeking and meeting its own level, which means the energy of what’s going on to us, for us, and through us meets our own consciousness level. And the only place energy and consciousness can increase is within us, by choice, intention, and commitment. So what blocks this from happening easily for us?

Ernest Holmes (again) said “The Spirit can do for us only what IT can do through us. Unless we are able to provide the consciousness, IT cannot make the gift.” Catherine Ponder said it this way: “God can only do for you what He can first do through your mental attitudes.” This leads us to look at our habit of thought, or said another way, our mental/emotional attitudes.

What happens when things are not going well for you? Your ego-aspect runs amok, for one, whether it’s about the state of your health, finances, business, job, relationships, and so on. It resists what’s happening, probably in a big way. Maybe it blames others, who may have been triggers, but it doesn’t want to take any responsibility, or take as much as it might, for perpetuating your mental/emotional discomfort. Maybe it expresses envy about others who aren’t having the same experiences (and ignores other experiences they may be having). Maybe it goes into self-pity and stays there. Maybe it starts talking in statements (thoughts) that oppose (are opposite of) your good and won’t shut up.

I just learned about a book and method called The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson, which I’ll read soon. You can look up his videos on YouTube (especially check out the one called “Emotion Code example” that runs almost 12 minutes). He points out that some of what blocks us may not even be ours. Wouldn’t that please the ego?! But, it could be true. It’s now ever more widely believed that we inherit more than just physical aspects through our DNA, we inherit non-physical ones, as well, such as beliefs. That sense of lack or any prevalent negativity you feel and haven’t been able to shake that you wear like a wool overcoat, for any area in life, may not be yours. You could be living your life according to one or more patterns that aren’t yours and can be easily released.

But, there are your own patterns to consider, as well. What happens when you hold onto resentment, fear, un-forgiveness, criticism, or any negative emotional attachment to any part of your past (and the past can be five minutes ago)? You create one or more blocks that cause you to unwillingly, unknowingly reject YOUR good that Source is eager to deliver to you, whether that’s health, finances, or whatever area of life you feel blocked in. Maybe you believe it’s more spiritual to give than receive, rather than realize it’s a loop of energy, so you block receiving. Any or all of these, when practiced, are why you ask and ask—maybe plead and plead, yet “it” doesn’t happen the way you desire and which your spiritual self knows it’s designed to and is meant to.

Neale Donald Walsch said that blocks we bump into are requests for our attention on unfinished business. More often than not, that unfinished business is about our mental/emotional attitude (but it could also be an emotion code). We’ve got crud in our stream that blocks the flow of our energy and our good, blocks our ability to be in flow and receive our good. So we keep asking and asking Source for what we need or desire, and Source patiently waits for us to clear the way for its delivery. Sometimes, we relax enough for some of our good to squeeze through to us. Maybe we recognize this for the demonstration of a mental/emotional attitude it is, or maybe we don’t.

Forgive yourself for not knowing better, as well as for anything you’ve been rejecting about yourself. Release others from your rejection of them, because like you, they picked up patterns that weren’t theirs, as well as sometimes just didn’t have a bleeping clue about what they were doing to themselves, much less to others, just as we all sometimes experience. Release the crud that your ego finds so tantalizing to dwell on and in. Swap those thoughts, every time they surface, with better thoughts, especially with the thought that you, from now on, choose to learn what you can, and will keep only the good from everything. Choose to now accept the possibility of what’s new and good. As Catherine Ponder also said, “Although we cannot force good into our life, we can invite it by dwelling on it.” Our good, our success, our relationship with Source are not usually what many dwell on most of the time.

When we dwell on and in opposing thoughts to our good, we create experiences that the ego takes as rejection from outside of us, when in fact it is we who are doing the rejecting of something, from a subconscious level. And what we reject for ourselves is actually something we reject about ourselves, because of patterns of beliefs we carry that need to be shed or shifted. Source would NEVER and will never reject us. So, it is us doing the rejecting. That’s worth looking into.

We also have to let go of the idea that our good can come to us from only one source or only a few sources. Source’s resources are INFINITE and always available to us, according to what is appropriate for us, which is something our spiritual self is directly involved in determining, not Source. As far as Source is concerned, if we ask and have the consciousness to allow and receive it, it’s ours. But we do have an inner coach (our Spirit) calling the game for our particular experience and evolution. Only when our ego-aspect works in opposition to our own inner spiritual coach do we hit roadblocks and detours. And even if some of our experiences are not what our ego-aspect would ever sign up for, our relationship with our inner spirit self allows us to say, “Show me.” And we can glean from our experiences that which will help us evolve in the way we came here to do, in each moment.

Another gem from Catherine Ponder about this is, “You do not so much attract what you want as what you are—according to your secret thoughts.” Any negative secret thoughts come from that chatterbox we call the ego-aspect. It gnaws on our mental and emotional attitudes the way beavers gnaw on trees. And it’s just as effective at damming (and damning) the flow as the dams beavers build. From Emma Curtis Hopkins, we get these wise words: “The world in which we live is the exact record of our thoughts. If we do not like the world we live in, then we do not like our thoughts.” This can be both a discomforting and comforting realization. But it also inspires us to monitor and shift our thoughts in order to shift our experiences.

I’m not just “whistling Dixie” about this topic: I’ve bumped up against it in a big way (more than a few times—if I had a dollar for every time…). As an image posted on a social site said, “If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” I had to look at how much of what I’ve learned and know is floating on the surface of my consciousness, meaning what I’ve yet to integrate as a mental attitude or way of being versus what I have integrated. And like me, maybe you’re doing this as well, not realizing that you aren’t, at times, actually practicing what you know the Truth to be (and instead are letting ego drive your bus); that knowing the Truth is never enough to get you where you want to go—you have to live the Truth to make the journey you truly desire to make.

I can say that this, as Ponder wrote, has been my (repeated) experience: “…when we dissolve the barriers of repellent thought and substitute a receptive attitude of mind, good things come to us in unexpected and wonderful ways, and sometimes with a promptness that is astonishing.” Now, I just have to practice remembering this and living it more than I sometimes do, and especially when I’ve allowed my ego-aspect to get my mental and emotional knickers in a knot.

Why don’t we practice what we know as we should or could? It’s because we often practice opposing thoughts yet are unaware of this because of the emotions we feel and are justified to feel, but get stuck there. We may practice patterns that may or may not be ours. What also blocks us is if we have somehow become locked into the negativity of others. In the Bible, there’s the story of Jesus going to the home where the daughter had died. When he got there, all the mourners told him there was nothing he could do about it. He knew differently, but he also knew something else; and this knowledge caused him to kick everyone out so he could do what he knew he could. It’s not always easy to put an end to or remove ourselves from the negativity in our lives, but it is imperative to do this as much as we can so we can function and perform what we know we’re capable of. Not doing something to shift negativity or remove ourselves from its influence is more often than not a form of self-rejection (ouch!), not necessarily stoicism, which does have its place, but is a wholly different energy.

So, we need to look at the blocks we practice without realizing it or without realizing how fully they affect us, such as self-rejection, in all its forms and influences. We need to look at how much we carry the past around with us and resolve to release all but the good we can extract from past experiences. We need to look at our attachment to self-pity and shift this by embracing our relationship with Source and allowing Source to supply and support us. We need to discover whether or not patterns we practice are actually ours or if we picked them up from others, and then release these patterns, no matter their origin. We need to become better at identifying our opposing thoughts and replacing them with supportive ones. And, we need to love and accept ourselves as we are and as we evolve, and honor this, be available to it. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.          

         

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer