Create Your "Order Form" for 2015

This is THE time to get clear about what you want so you know what to aim at in the New Year. Here's a simple technique that helps you do this AND expand your magnetic energy.

Whatever you desire does not have to be important to others, only to you.

You know what you want in the areas of work, finance, family, personal development, spiritual development, social and intimate relationships, fun, and health—right? Or, maybe you sort of know what you want. Or maybe you don’t have a clue. Whichever one is true for you, this will assist you.

One way to amp up your energy and enthusiasm about a dream, goal, or desired outcome is to look at it more thoroughly than you may have, or reveal it to yourself, if you haven’t already. If you do what's suggested below, you'll get clearer and create an order form that inspires and guides you as you move forward, and that makes your energy magnetic.

Get a sheet of paper and a pen or create columns in a document on your computer. Pick something about your life or business you want to see happen, or take each life area listed above and give them their turn.

First column: Write what you don't want (don't list feelings here; they have their own column).You'd write something like “I don't want less than ten new clients a month;” “I don't want clients who don't pay, don't have a sense of humor,” etc. Or, “I don't want a relationship with someone who doesn't share my core values; is emotionally or otherwise unavailable,” etc. If you really want to amp this up, write down everything you don't want in every area of your life. Really purge here. Vent like crazy.

If you believe that positive, focused thinking means you should never put your attention on what you don't want, this is called denial, because what you don't want is rambling around in your subconscious anyway. You might as well give it an opportunity to be heard so it can stop bothering you. Self-sabotage usually happens when our conscious and subconscious thoughts contradict each other. Get the Don't Wants out instead of trying to suppress them.

Second column: Write what you don't want to feel (afraid, unsuccessful, taken for granted, overworked, confused, afraid of failure—or success, unloved if you're successful and prosperous, etc.). Go ahead and give voice to any and every such feeling.

Third column: Write what you do want (ten or more new clients a month; meet and get to know one or more new people also interested in a relationship, etc.). If you're inclined, amp this one up as recommended for the Don't Wants. No limits: if you want it, write it down; anything, everything. If you've been holding back, now is your time to let loose. Remember, this is for you, no one else.

Fourth column: Write what you do want to feel. List everything until nothing else comes up (valued, appreciated, respected, confident, on purpose, fulfilled, prosperous, safe, accepted, loved, etc.).

Fifth column: Write why you want it. Really let loose with this one. Whatever your why is, let it talk to you. When you find your why and it is compelling, you amaze yourself with the inspired ideas and actions that come to you. If your why isn't compelling, check to see if it's a case of "It would be nice . . ." rather than "I passionately intend it" (wish vs. commitment).

Sixth column: Write how you will feel once you have this (fulfilled, validated, free, on purpose, etc.).

Seventh column: Write how others will feel once you have this. How will your new clients feel when they work with you as a confident, fulfilled person? How will your staff and or family feel when they see you feeling so good? How will the person you move toward or into a relationship with feel about being around you, especially if you feel happy with yourself and your life?

Eighth column: Create a statement that helps you amp up your energy about this for as many areas of your life as you created a list for. You want a statement you can really buy into. If, at this time, you feel unsure about getting ten new clients a month or finding someone who wants to be in a relationship with you, writing that you have something as a given won't work, because you're not on board with it yet. And, that's fine. If that’s the case, try something like this: I want to believe that I can find a way to get ten new clients a month; or meet someone I eventually share a relationship with; or feel safe about having more of everything in my life, including money. See how this is a true statement but it doesn't put pressure on you?

Ninth column: Next actions. Maybe one or more next actions (inner or outer) come to you now or came to you as you wrote your responses. If not, not a problem. Write that you ask to be shown one or more next actions and know that because your focus is on receiving them, you will.

Before you go to sleep each night, read your statement(s). What you'll notice is that your statement(s) will change as you open to next actions and take them. You'll move from "I want to believe" to "I believe" to "I can" to "I have" or "I am." It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.                           

                                 

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say, and other books/ebooks, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

Is It an Excuse or a Reason That Holds You Back?

We sometimes say we want certain things and may talk quite a bit about our ideas, but we don't take the actions needed to make them happen. Perhaps a more honest statement would be, "It would be nice, but I'm not willing (yet, if ever) to do what it takes." That's a better thing to say because it's authentic.

The fact is this: Sometimes reasons, based on facts, do hold you back. But such reasons can point you in another direction or point your attention toward another way to accomplish what you desire to. Someone intent on success, whatever that means to them, makes a plan, figures out resources needed, and gets started, taking step after step until the outcome is reached, however long it takes. Intention (and commitment) sees obstacles as clues about what doesn't work and inspires us to ask what might work instead.

When we say we can't or shouldn't have to do something in order to have what we desire, this is the time to look within. Sometimes, a particular fear is the cause of this mental attitude. Sometimes, it's a belief that doesn't serve us. If there is something you truly want but never seem to be able to attain it or you tend to stop just short of the mark, you want to look at what's holding you back. Your excuses are a good place to start.

Make a list of things you believe you want in life. To the right, make two columns titled, "It Would be Nice, But..." and "Whatever It Takes, I Intend to Make This Happen." Place a checkmark in the correct column for each item you list. This not only distinguishes what you'd like from what you are committed to, but also shows where your energy is going and where it needs to be better directed. Expending energy wishing for or talking about something you’re not committed to taking action on is a huge waste of your precious energy, skills, and talents. It keeps you from realizing your dreams and goals. It also causes those who listen to you to not believe you, if all you do is talk.

Sometimes, what holds a person back is unknown and requires therapy so it can be discovered and then result in a significant shift happening. Maybe time with a life coach will help to discover how to go beyond self-imposed limitations. Maybe the right-for-you self-help book, where you do what’s asked, works like a charm. At the very least, if you categorize what you believe you want into the two columns suggested above, you discover whether an item is a genuine intended goal—or not, as well as where you limit yourself with excuses, or where you plan to succeed. The question is: Do you want to be remembered for your excuses or your successes? Which one allows you to feel the way you desire to feel about yourself? After all, why you want what you say you do is always about how you want to feel about yourself, anyway.

I was contacted by someone who'd read one of my articles and then got my Take This Life and Live It! workbook. Our conversation left me inspired. A major transition is taking place in her life, one most would consider negative. She contacted me because she wants to move forward in the way most appropriate for her. This is courage in action.

The reason I say this woman is courageous is that she doesn't choose to focus on the past. She chooses to focus on the present and strengthen and direct herself so she can better create her future now. She intends to use the workbook to not only better understand what is happening at an inner level (emotions, thoughts), but to also map out how she wants her life to look from this point on (work, relationships, finances, etc.). She intends to make conscious choices on both levels and do what she can to make this journey easier and focused. Detours will arise; but she'll have her direction in mind and will find her way back onto the path to get where she aims to go. Her choice is to respond, not react; to move forward, not stagnate; to be her own compass, her own North Star.

Most of us have to cope with a major life transition at least once in our lives, one where the foundation we believed to be solid beneath us shifts or crumbles, and we find ourselves looking for a foothold. Many deal with the accompanying emotions as best they can and eventually choose to get on with their lives. Some, sadly, choose to stay rooted in pain or frustration. The result of this is either a life not lived fully or a tragic story that makes the news.

Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage takes action in spite of fear. Action sets you free. It's important to make it Right Action, not reaction. Since this woman decided to face this challenging time in this way, I trust she will accomplish whatever she chooses as she heads forward, deliberately, on her path. Whatever she was before, she is on purpose now. Be on purpose. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.                 

          

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

When One Door Closes, What Do You Do?

Maybe a door that closes is small and made of plywood or huge and made of Australian hardwood, but it's still a door that closed; and you feel you're not standing on the side you thought you would be. Now what?

Inventor Alexander Graham Bell said, “When one door closes, another one opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

One kindness we can do for ourselves is to have dreams or goals, aim for them, move toward them, but remain flexible. Some things turn out just as we hoped. Some turn out better than we imagined; and others go in a direction opposite of where our target was or what we believe we want. Sometimes a door closes not because we were rejected, but because of something we rejected at the inner level. It’s very easy to say we want something and yet deep down we either don’t actually want it or don’t want it enough to do what it takes, or we know at our core that it isn’t right for us, or we doubt that we deserve it. The only person who can know which is the one that is a match for you at such a time is you.

The One Source has set up this Universe and version of reality so that all forms of abundance, prosperity, and wellbeing, on all levels, are yours—always and in all ways. But Source can only provide these to you as a result of your mental attitudes: that’s part of its set-up, so that all of us have ongoing opportunities to choose how we experience, expand, and evolve. If your mental attitude, likely instilled in you and reinforced by others, is one of lack or being undeserving, you possibly or probably, through your mental attitudes, reject your Good without realizing it more often than you realize.

I know someone who, years back, envisioned her target. Over time, she attempted to sneak up on it; sometimes she took aim, fired, and missed. Were she to be scored on determination and tenacity, her number would be quite high; but she forgot to remember her target was in a field shared by others and influenced by life. She forgot to be flexible. So fixated was she on her desired “door,” when another one opened that offered the best outcome, she couldn't see it for what it was and not only slammed the door, but cemented it shut.

Maybe each of us has done something similar. Her story is an example of someone who doesn't simply have a goal or dream, but an agenda. People with goals or dreams, keep their eyes, minds, and hearts open for and to others and resources that help make it happen, and they modify or adjust as needed. Those with an agenda manipulate, or try to, and get angry or despondent when things don't go their way. If the door they focus on closes, they fail to notice they're standing in a room full of doors where equal or better outcomes await them.

I paraphrase a quote we should keep in mind when events don’t go as we hoped: A “rejection” may be for our protection. Rejection does tie in with perceived closed doors. Whenever we face a major life change, it’s feasible that we might feel life itself has rejected us and our desired outcome. Ultimately, rejection happens in only one place: Within ourselves. What the closed door represents has all to do with feelings or emotions we may have to heal or deal with. At some point, we should recognize that the door is closed, perhaps even locked, perhaps for our own protection. When we acknowledge this, we can give ourselves permission to make a slow circle and notice the other doors available to us, ones we haven’t noticed before. For some of us, the only way we ever walk through the right-for-us door is if the one we’d attached ourselves to slams in our face.

Next time a door closes for you, plywood or hardwood, take the time you need to experience what you feel. Allow yourself to look for what can be learned or state that even if you can't see it now, there is surely something you can gain from your experience. Any form of rejection is always an opportunity to learn something about ourselves. Then, take a couple of deep calming breaths, draw your shoulders back, stand up straight, and look around until you find the door you are meant to walk through next. Go ahead. Take that first step. Your life, and the Good it wants to provide to you, is waiting for you to arrive. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.                

         

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

Say Goodbye to Typical New Year Resolutions Blues

The things you do or don't do about New Year resolutions are what you do right now as a consistent practice about any such decisions. Whatever you don’t do about them, and why, you can do differently starting today.

How would this affect how we practice the Golden Rule?

It's important to understand why resolutions you make any time of the year fizzle out. You may feel a desire for something to shift or change, but if your commitment to make it happen doesn't match your desire, you'll return to doing what's convenient or familiar rather than what it takes, because it’s really a wish rather than a genuine desire backed by commitment. Resolution means you are resolved, committed, intentional.

Another reason is perhaps you aren't clear about your WHY: Why you really want what you say you do. The reason you think you want something may be buried under layers of other thoughts and feelings, hiding your real reason, which is a feeling you wish to have and keep. For example, if you want to reduce the numbers on a weight scale or increase the numbers in your bank account, what's your why? If it's so the opinion of others about you will be what you want it to be, that's a formula for probable failure and an unpleasant experience: that’s too many people to attempt to please. Maybe what’s really there is a desire to feel loved and accepted, which is a layer over your real desire to love and accept yourself, which requires a different approach than weight loss or focusing on more money, alone. This kind of thought process can, of course, be applied to anything you say you want.

Sometimes the absence of an effective plan is what causes the fizzle. What is an effective plan? It's something you have head and heart alignment about. Stated a different way, it includes required steps you are fully committed to taking and, possibly or likely, are even enthusiastic about taking, and is in alignment with who you know yourself to be and your Principles. Aim for what will really make you sizzle so you won’t fizzle.

There are key steps to take, in order to fulfill any desired intention (that is, any intention that is ultimately for your highest good and the highest good of all involved) and say goodbye to resolution blues, which is about causing yourself to feel bad about resolutions you don't keep, and to feel good about ones you do.

1.You have to be fully aligned with what you say you want and what you are resolved to accomplish. If, every day, you replay images of yourself as not having your desired outcome or experience, or you replay what it feels like to not have what you are resolved about, you aren't as open to ways you can make it happen more easily as you might be and you are blocking the result from happening more readily, because you are focused on not having it, plus, not feeling good about yourself or life as you move through this process, which is, essentially, being in opposition to yourself.

You cannot be negatively focused and “charged” (“It’ll never work” or “I’m not deserving”) and affect positive change at the same time. A small shift from "this is awful" to "there is a way" does make a difference, simply because one closes you off to inspired ideas and actions, as well as receptive, attracting energy, and the other keeps you open to them and doing what’s required. Whether you call this energy or attitude management doesn’t matter; it's an important practice.

Sometimes anger is the motivation that moves people into action. That is a step up from hopeless or apathetic, but unconscious actions taken from anger are generally not the best ones to take. You might feed a need in the moment, but what do you intend to build long-term? How do you really feel once the anger need is satisfied? It's important to feel what you feel and let this motivate you, but is unconscious action based in anger your desired practice? Does your action, or speech, come from consciousness (the ability to accurately observe and assess what’s going on) and preserve integrity and moral rightness or does it deplete these? If you can act from justified anger (based on a true infringement on your Rights or the Rights of others) as your catalyst AND maintain morality (do no harm) and integrity, that’s different.

2.There are two ways to make a plan. One way is to be motivated by fear. This typically leads to long hours, agitated energy, bad moods, and lots of activity that may not actually be productive. You may be conditioned to believe that worry, strain, stress, frustration, criticism, and other such fear-based "motivators" are effective ways to create change, but how's that worked for you so far? How does it feel to be in and operate from that place?

It's imperative that you put your attention on what really creates shift. You've been told you can't succeed without a goal, strategy, or a plan. These are tools that help you stay on track, but they aren't what make things happen initially or keep you on the path. Kurt Wright wrote, “Commitment is a magnet.” Your intention, commitment, and aligned energy are what ignite forward motion and build momentum in you and cause what you desire or something better to happen.

This means that the better way to make a plan is to take a little time to get clear on what you really want, and your true Why, and align your energy and attitude in a way that keeps you open to inspired ideas and actions, right timing, right people, right opportunities, and right resources. This allows or causes you to make a plan you are in alignment with, as well as be in alignment with taking required actions you include in your plan. It supports the courage you need to get started and to keep going. This isn't pie-in-the-sky thinking. When you do this, you build a foundation that is so strong, you can aim at and go toward anything you truly desire that is in your and the greater best interest, because what you build is Self Trust, Self Esteem, Self Empowerment, and Self Reliance.

Whatever you tell yourself you want from your New Year resolutions or resolutions made at any time of the year, those four Self attributes are what lie underneath your reasons for wanting what you do or say you do. You want to do what is needed to believe in yourself completely and from an authentic perspective, not a perspective of trying to get the approval you desire from others, though that approval may (or may not) happen as a side-effect.

It is important that you know what is appropriate or inappropriate and fulfilling or unfulfilling for you, including you in the bigger picture. What's probably causing you to fizzle out is that you've never taken the time or the courageous stand to define what your ideals are for YOU in the different areas of your life. But I don’t mean just for you, as in solely service-to-self, but for you and in service-to-others and beyond, into service-to-Truth; hence, for the highest good of all involved. How can you go for what you really want if you don't even know what it is, or are afraid to state it even to yourself then claim it?

A resolution is only as good as your defined image of it (using your imagination productively and constructively), your commitment, your enthusiasm, your alignment with it, and your core underlying reason for wanting it, which is, ultimately, how you really want to feel as an individual and as an integral contributor to the reality you share with others. Start now. It's neither too early nor too late. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.     

      

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

How Do We Lose Our Way or Our Life Spark?

Have you ever felt that you’ve lost your way in life? That the spark you once felt has gone missing? What’s described here is at least part of the reason this happens.

Have you ever felt really good, that your energy was in a good place, at a good vibration, until you went around or interacted with someone whose energy was not up there with you? What happened to your energy vibration? More than likely, it lowered, maybe even went to the lower vibration of the other person. It can be a challenge to sustain a higher vibration when you engage with a person or people who experience a lower vibration, especially if that’s their practice.

Maybe you’ve been in a situation where you’re engaging one or more people and the conversation is predominantly, if not entirely, their complaining about something or everything. You might listen for a while, and get more and more uneasy as you feel your vibration dropping. So maybe you interject something positive, in the hope of raising the energy back up. It’s quite possible that they either look at you strangely or give you negative feedback about this because you’re not joining them readily at the lower vibration, which may annoy them. You mutually annoy each other because of the contrast of your energies.

The reality is that all of us have times when our vibration is higher or lower, depending on what’s going on and how we choose to perceive it and relate to it. And sometimes we need to reach out to others when we’re low. Depending on what we’re dealing with or coping with, it may feel challenging to even imagine a higher vibration, much less align with and feel it. But, it isn’t impossible to imagine you can reach and hold a higher vibration at some point. In fact, allow yourself to aspire to this just as soon as it feels appropriate to you to do so. It may assist you to keep what follows in mind.

Many of us have been indoctrinated with the belief that external experiences cause the good or serene feelings we desire in us, when in fact, it’s the other way around. The way we experience our external world has all to do with our internal perceptions, that is, what we tell ourselves about anything or anyone. If we have negative inner experiences, if we put our time and energy into lower vibration thoughts and feelings, we are not going to have desired experiences in our external world. We’ll have more of what we don’t want come to us, or our perceptions will run along this course, because that is where our energy, vibration, and emotions are, which means that’s what we’re giving our life force to. The non-judgmental laws of manifestation will match the vibration we give the most energy to or the inner plane we spend most of our time on. 

If you feel you’ve lost your way and that the spark has gone from your life, you’re definitely hanging around in lower vibrations and likely with people who hang out in lower vibrations, and you’re probably waiting for external experiences to ignite your inner spark again. If this is your approach, you may wait for a long time. You cannot expect to raise your vibration higher at the same time you put energy into lower-level thoughts. Something you need to keep in mind is that a belief is a thought you practice often or habitually. The more time and energy you give to a thought, the more momentum toward manifestation or continuance you build into that thought.

So what are you supposed to do to raise your vibration? First, don’t expect to zoom to the highest vibration in one fell swoop. It could happen, but it’s best if you don’t infringe that heavy expectation on yourself (or on another). An improvement is what you want to aim for. One of the surest ways I’ve found in my experience to calm my energy, thoughts, and emotions, and even-out my vibration so that it raises a bit when it’s lower is to make the statement you’ve likely heard or read often, including from me: Source, I trust and allow that you will fulfill the highest good of all involved regarding this situation.

This statement can allow you to relax, if you’ll allow this yourself, that is. When you relax, when you trust that the highest good of all involved will be done, even if you don’t understand all the dynamics, you calm your inner self, which raises your vibration from where it’s been. This begins to attract better experiences, and helps you to choose better perceptions.

Don’t hammer a negative thought. Do something else to get your mind off of it for a while. It is more important to first get into a good, higher vibration than to solve a problem or worry about it. Holding better thoughts will pull good things to you, often surprisingly quickly. The more you do this, the more you feel your spark begin to ignite back up and grow, because you will be in control of the only thing you can ever be in absolute control of: your vibration. Everything springs forth from this. The question is: Are you willing to find a way to be in control of your vibration?

Pay attention to what you feed your thoughts and emotions. Maybe take a vacation from watching the news, or if you’re going to follow the news, strengthen your metaphysical or spiritual understanding about reality. The same goes for subtle messages in commercials or any other media. If you must engage low-vibration people or information, use the remarkable tool in Dave Markowitz’s book Self-Care for the Self-Aware that recommends you imagine a keyhole at your heart chakra, or whichever chakra feels appropriate, and imagine the negativity moving into that opening and exiting out the back, so that you aren’t touched by it or absorb it as your own. If all you feed yourself or predominantly feed yourself is negativity, whether your own or that of others, you will feel you’ve lost your way or your spark, because your natural state is opposite of this; and THIS is why you feel as negative as you do: you’re going in the wrong direction. To be in or return to your natural state of fulfillment and joy, you must move in the direction of it.

Another method that will help is something I’ve recently started to practice, which was the result of an inner nudge from two sources: a novel and an attendee at an Abraham-Hicks event. In the novel, one of the characters was thought to have a more direct line to God when it came to prayers: Her prayers seemed genuinely effective or to result in miracles. Every night, she wrote, rather than said, her prayers. In the other nudge, the event attendee said he began the practice of writing thank-you notes or letters to the Universe ahead of receiving what he wished to receive, and that the results were phenomenal. I now have a notebook and pen handy to write down my own ahead-of-time thank-you notes to Source. Outcomes I’ve experienced since I began to do this are either seeing the desired results become experiences or feeling tremendous peace, calm, and trust about whatever outcome is for the highest good of myself and all involved. Use this to find your way when you feel lost and to reignite your inner life-force spark. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.      

  

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

The Four Biggest Blocks to Manifestation and Life Experience Fulfillment

There are four main or typical ways you may practice that block your fulfilling manifestation and life experience. Learn what they are and what to do about them.

BLOCK 1: The first block is not asking for what you want at the start, or if you do ask, not asking in the correct way. In life, you usually have to ask for what you want, as you would at a restaurant, which means you have to know what you truly want. You don’t say, “Bring me seafood,” you state which dish you wish to enjoy. When it comes to the metaphysical approach, many spiritual disciplines provide versions of “Ask and you will receive,” but there is more to this, as you’ve probably discovered, and which I’ll explain.

We get that we need to ask when it comes to manifestation; but what usually happens is we think about what we want or need then jump into making a plan and or take immediate action, often because others expect us to or told us this is the way to act, or to appease our ego aspect, which more commonly waits to think about manifestation when desperate, rather than grasp that we’re manifesting already, all the time. We rush around, exhaust ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally (and even spiritually), and feel frustrated about minimal results, or the absence of any results. Thinking something that needs a solution or resolution “to death” or worrying about it is NOT asking.

An old adage says, “Sharpen the ax before you go to the tree.” Ask in the right way first. Example: “I am truly thankful for all that fulfills me and is fulfilled for me. If (insert your request) is in my highest good and the highest good of all involved, I ask this to be fulfilled, and I trust that it will be. While I wait to receive results or guidance about this, I choose to feel happy and serene now, and appreciative of this now moment and what I already have and have received, rather than wait to feel happy or serene or appreciative if or when I receive this or something even better.” You can shorten this and use your own words, but I want you to get the premise.

I know that many action-driven people might disagree, at first blush, with the above paragraphs. They (and we) have been taught that strategies and systems and actions are what responsible and successful people use and do, but we’re seldom taught how vital it is that we strengthen and trust our relationships with our Infinite Self and Source above all. Yet, these relationships are what are needed as our foundation under any idea or action. They are where real inner power comes from, and where highest-good fulfillments get put into motion in our lives. Too often, much too often, we attempt to do everything on our own, without the assistance of our Infinite Self and Source. I’m not saying you aren’t to take action, I’m saying align your Inner Energy before you take action, so that your action is Source- and Life-Energy-driven (inspired), not fear-based ego-driven.

BLOCK 2: Strife. Notice that the words happy, serene, and appreciative were included in the request shared above. Strife is a big problem when it comes to manifestation and life experience because the vibration or energy of fulfillment, the vibration or energy that allows and supports fulfillment, is calm and trusting. There’s no way around this. Judging anyone, anything, and ourselves is strife. Anxiety is strife. Anger is strife. Stressing is strife. Anything not supportive or serene, anything not a positive vibration, is strife.

We often call what we do “striving to succeed” or, perhaps even, to survive; but we’re really “strifing,” which will never result in the full success or fulfillment we desire. Strife blocks requested manifestation and life experience fulfillment, and creates more of what you don’t want, because what you don’t want is what you match your vibration to, so that’s what gets matched as your experience. If your ego wants to disagree with this, just consider your typical or consistent experiences and results. You can ask and ask (or plead or demand), but as long as strife instead of calm and trust is present, the energy of strife will push away the very results, resources, or relationships you wish to have in your life.

By the way, serenity doesn’t mean you’re so mellow you can’t function; it means your actions or non-actions, your words, your thoughts, and feelings are centered and fueled via your connection with your Infinite Self and Source, instead of spiking out and poking people’s eyes out, energetically speaking, that is. This is the Catch-22 it’s so easy for all of us to find ourselves engaged in. Fulfillment is way more about, first, Being than Doing. Be the vibration then take inspired, rather than desperate, action.

BLOCK 3: The third biggest block is doubt. Make your requests to Source and approach life free of doubt and self-doubt, that is, free of any doubts about your self-worth and what you deserve. Source supplies freely. Source doesn’t supply you or anyone based on what’s deserved, but will honor (match) what you believe about this. Doubts of any kind come from the ego that’s been affected by limiting beliefs, and are contrary to the truth of Source, your Infinite Self, and how Source set up the Creative Energy to work for and with you. Doubt and Trust cannot occupy the same space at the same time; and the one you FEEL more profoundly, is the one that gets matched.

Some manifestations are instant because everything is set up and ready to go, as soon as you ask and allow it, that is, have no resistance thoughts blocking it coming to you. Other requested manifestations are not in your highest good, or perhaps not in the highest good of all involved, so never happen, or if they happen, they don’t work out but are an opportunity for you to learn something. And some requests require a bit of time because more than just you is involved. While you wait, occupy yourself and your mind with positive and productive thoughts and inspired actions, and remain in a state of calm and trust. Do what you need to, to maintain serenity, happiness, and especially appreciation, each of which is a positive attracting or magnetic energy for what you ask for or something better. Do this despite what appearances are. Remind yourself of how you felt when something or something even better manifested for you before.

The more strife and doubt you stop practicing the more serene you’ll be. Obvious, but we miss it more often than we see it. To do this requires dedication to develop your strife-free, doubt-free inner power, and to practice this daily, so that you shift further and further away from ego’s insecurities that cause you to engage strife and doubt. If life or particular life areas don’t seem to be working out for you, it’s likely you’re allowing strife and doubt to clutch you in their grasp instead of you holding serenity and trust at your core. And maybe you’re practicing Block 4.

BLOCK 4: This one relates to the Jump program in the first “Matrix” movie, when Neo watches Morpheus leap the distance between two buildings, to demonstrate what’s possible. Morpheus tells Neo what’s needed to accomplish this: Free your mind. This is our hurdle, as well, when it comes to manifestation AND living in flow from the inside-out. We have to cross the hurdle of subconscious beliefs so entrenched in us that we don’t even realize how consistently we practice them.

This is why affirmations, made through the conscious mind, can have something of a “Fake it till you make it” thwart-factor for us. They don’t work or work as expected, because we can’t fake out our subconscious beliefs, which are the beliefs that drive our “bus”. Affirmations do work when we disassociate from a subconscious belief (I can’t leap like Morpheus) and embrace possibilities (He’s shown me what’s possible, what I’m capable of. If it’s in my highest good, I now allow it or something better to be so.). The leap can’t happen in our experience until it first happens in our mind.

This means we have to pay attention to our consistent thoughts. More specifically, to the QUALITY of ALL of our thoughts, so we get a sense of whether our subconscious is operating as a glass half empty or half full kind of belief system, whether that’s about abundance or lack, or acceptance or judgment, in all the various forms each appear as in our life. We have to observe how we think, that is, how we choose our thoughts deliberately or how we let them run amok. This all boils down to one important question: How much appreciation do you feel and choose to feel during the course of each day? Or, are the majority of your thoughts on a negative loop so familiar to you that you don’t even realize the tape is playing about any- and everything? This is major in its significance, and merits attention.

From Abraham-Hicks: You're always getting a perfect vibrational match to what you predominantly give your attention to. But you've got to make the best of it. You've got to vibrate slightly different from where you are if you are going to improve where you are. You can't keep taking score of where your business is or your relationship is or your body is without continuing to create it as it is. To make improvement, you've got to reach for a different thought.

Begin to practice looking at your blocked life areas to reveal whatever strife or doubt you may be engaging in. Ask for what you want, in the right way. Explore the thoughts that arise from your subconscious mind, or the tape loop that’s playing. It is your choice to either wear yourself out while you try to do everything yourself, and attempt this from a negative subconscious belief set, or to take the leap of belief and follow your path with Source as your companion, a path that leads to more effortless manifestation for your good and the highest good of all involved, as well as greater serenity, fulfillment, and joy. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate. 

        

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

Do You Have A Vision for Your Life?

Having no vision for your life is like being in a rowboat without oars: you go where the water takes you, or doesn’t. If coming up with a vision frustrates or confuses you in any way or makes you anxious, this may help.

Hermann Hesse wrote: “Most people are like a falling leaf that drifts and turns in the air, flutters, and falls to the ground. But a few others are like stars which travel one defined path: no wind reaches them; they have within themselves their guide and path.” We get the importance of his statement, and he’s right that each of us has our guide and path within us; but if you feel you’re drifting along in life without a vision and feel unsure what to do about this, his statement might cause you to judge yourself. I want to help you shift this. And about having one defined path, what if that’s not about doing but is about being, say, joyful, instead? Does that shift your energy about this even a little?

Wallace Wattles said: “You must form a clear and definite mental picture of what you want; you cannot transmit an idea unless you have it yourself.” Wattles is right as well; however, the thought of getting to this clear mental picture is intimidating for a number of people. They concern themselves with questions like: What if they pick the wrong vision? What if by picking a vision, they limit themselves? What if their vision is too large or too small? What will others think about their vision, or how might they judge it?

The first thing I ask you to do is allow that if the thought of coming up with a vision for your life makes you uncomfortable in any way, we want to shift how you think about this so you can feel better about it, because it is likely your beliefs about this that hold you back. For instance, rather than think about your Vision For All Time, think about the vision of your life for the next year, or the next six months, or next month, or next week instead, to get into practice. This takes the pressure off of having to come up with The Grand Vision. And that’s another thing you want to let go of: what anyone else will think about your vision; that your vision has to impress others or have their approval or it won’t be worthwhile—not that you have to tell anyone. In fact, practice self-restraint for as long as needed or desired about this: keep your vision silent and sacred.

One thing that may affect your ability to come up with a vision, whatever time-period you now want it to cover, is believing it has to be practical (so you can appease others or your ego-aspect). Practical isn’t necessarily magical. I recall going to a car dealership years back. I didn’t like anything about that experience. When the saleswoman came back from having “the talk” with her manager about what kind of “deal” they could make for me, I told her no. She asked what kind of deal I was looking for, and I told the uncensored truth: “I want an attractive car with all the bells and whistles, and I don’t want to pay a penny for it.” And I meant it. She was, of course, shocked and told me that was unrealistic. I was completely serene and even joyful as I smiled and said goodbye and left. Within several months, I was driving a sporty Lexus with all the bells and whistles, and doing so without a penny ever coming out of pocket. I share this example so you can see that sometimes being practical can stand in your way. The Universe has an interesting way of filling our orders once we know and state what we want—fearlessly—at least to ourselves, then get out of the way. 

Another thing that blocks creating a vision for your life is attempting to do this from a feeling of desperately needing to change or fix your life. Desperation is not the energy you want flowing through you when you consider your vision. For one thing, you aren’t thinking clearly when you feel desperate for change. Your energy is focused in the opposite direction at such a time, like on lack, frustration, fear, and so on. Before you sit down to work with your vision, you want to take some deep breaths to relax your body and mind. You want to connect with the infinite love of Source, to relax your emotions and stimulate your spiritual connection to the abundance and flow that Source has made available for you to receive, as soon as you allow yourself to do so. When feeling desperate, you block alignment of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy with your vision.

Joseph Campbell said: “We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget that the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it’s all about.” Yes! You see, one thing that blocks people from crafting a vision, among the other blocks I’ve already mentioned, is they get so focused on Doing that they forget to focus on Being first.

I know it’s recommended that you get specific when you craft a vision, but this may be so intimidating that you just abandon the idea of crafting one. Note: A vision for your life is NOT meant to be the same as a goals list and the steps to reach goals. So, try this: Write generalized specifics. What I mean is, for example, instead of coming up with a fixed number of the amount of money you want to receive each month, state that you want money to come to you from Source’s infinite resources in the amount that is three times (or more) than what your actual monthly expenses currently are—or whatever feels realistic and possible at this time. Don’t impinge on your alignment with an amount your subconscious doesn’t believe is even in the realm of possibility. Head and heart alignment is important here. As you move forward, you can always increase this. And, instead of stating the work you do in your vision, state that you do work that you love and enjoy and find fulfilling, if work is part of your vision. This suggestion to be generalized-specific is to help you get into practice of allowing yourself to have a vision for your life. When you get comfortable with this process, and what I explain from here on, then you might want to craft a vision that is more specific, or, instead, also craft a goals list.

Do a rough draft of your vision, so you get started. Consider it an exercise only, so you ease up on yourself about this. Let this draft be more like play. Hand-write your draft, and write it as though it’s happening now. Let how you want to feel about your life assist you with this draft. Remember, let go of being practical, of impressing anyone or needing anyone’s approval. Allow yourself the right to adjust anything in your vision that you feel the need or desire to adjust. This is for you and only you. It’s like a garment you create for yourself: you must tailor it to fit you; you must love the color, texture, and feel of it. You must feel terrific when you put it on. It must feel exciting and empowering to wear it.

When you play with your draft vision, if you feel the need to be practical, go ahead and write out a practical one. Then, allow yourself to write one where practical isn’t a factor. Again: Practical isn’t necessarily magical. So if it will help you, create one draft titled My Practical Vision and another titled My Magical Vision, and cut loose with this one. What time do you want to wake in the morning, or what kind of schedule flexibility is desired? What do you want your day and what you do with it to feel like? How do you want to feel about your day and life when you go to sleep at night? How do you want to feel about your financial matters, secure or serene? And so on, with anything you want to add.

Remember: Write both versions in present tense, as though each vision aspect is already happening. Then read each vision in turn. After you read the practical version, add a paragraph about how it makes you feel when you read it and how it affects your energy; do the same after you read the magical version. Which one excites you? Which one feels like your right fit? Keep in mind that a magical vision will have practical aspects appear to support it. So don’t be afraid of writing down what you really want.

Once you decide on a draft vision, read your vision aloud to yourself every morning and evening for the first seven days. Each following week, spend fifteen or so minutes once a week to read your vision and feel it, believe it, trust it, and adjust it in whatever way feels right to you, because you are always changing and growing. Allow your vision to change and grow as well. Each time you make major adjustments to your vision, repeat the seven-day morning and night read-aloud process so you really get your vision into your energy field and mindset.

Release the HOW. That’s up to the Universe (like my car example), but pay attention to inspirations that lead you to actions then follow through. You can also use your vision to verify that any ideas or opportunities that show up in your mind or life as actions to take actually match your vision, so your ego-aspect doesn’t lead you astray, which it often does, as it tends to operate from desperation and fear. It’s better to be still and wait for an inspiration you know is aligned with you and your vision than to rush into action that uses your time, energy, and other resources in spinning-your-wheels activities. Never confuse activity with productivity. Inspired action is what you want to follow, and these generally come to you when you’re being quiet or still or doing something unrelated.

How do you want to feel about your vision? What feelings, thoughts, and self-talk do you need to support your vision? What would your vision need to include for you to feel joyful, enthused, fulfilled, excited, confident, comfortable being you, and—whole? Keep in mind that this is for the time-period you’ve decided it’s for, whether it’s for the rest of your life, the next year, month, or week. Take some time to craft your vision as described here. Then read it and ask yourself how much of your vision you are doing or living now and perhaps don’t realize it. This may, or may not, surprise you.

Don’t rush crafting your vision. It’s important enough to take the time you need, but don’t put it off either or try to write the “perfect” draft the first time. It may take a few or several tries for you to feel comfortable enough to allow yourself to write a more magical vision. And keep in mind that you want to allow the flexibility to adjust your vision as you realize more of what you really want and want to feel and allow yourself to include these in your vision.

Once your draft vision is written and it feels right, don’t try to rush it or force it into your experience. Watch for signs of it taking form in your life. Watch for inspired ideas. Allow yourself to love and accept and approve of you so you allow yourself to receive your vision as your experience. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.        

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

Your attention, please . . .

You know how to focus your attention; and I know it feels great when you complete action steps that lead to your desired outcomes.

Cheering you on!

What is your dream or goal worth to you?

Today’s Empowering State of Appreciation Message…

What is your dream or goal worth to you?

Anything that has worth to you is worth what it takes to attain and maintain it for as long as it is appropriate to do so.

Joyce Shafer, Publisher
http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
Rewire your beliefs about you

Is fulfillment of your dream or goal just around the corner?

Trust right timing as you aim at and hit targets that expand your life experience in ways you choose.

There is an old Zen adage that says, "If you want to know where you are supposed to be, look down at your feet."

Now each of us could come up with a reason, story, or question to dispute that adage—and we’d feel righteously justified about arguing with it; but if we truly want to live in a state of awareness and enlightenment, we’ll allow that there’s truth in that statement.

We can assist ourselves if we deliberately choose to not dwell on the timing we believe is right and instead focus attention on envisioning our desired end result and feeling now what we believe we’ll feel once it’s ours, which feeds our motivation.

We also need to be aware that “It’s the journey, not the destination” is true, as well. Maybe part of your right timing includes something you need to learn about yourself, like a particularly limiting belief you need to see for what it is and go beyond it, or improvement or addition of certain skills.

When you have a dream or goal, which you have full intention to create and passionate commitment to fulfill, right timing has your foundation underneath it that says, “…however long it takes and whatever it takes.”

Consider some of the most famous creatives and inventors who believed in their desired outcome, even while it took longer than most of us might have had patience to wait… Colonel Sanders with his fried chicken recipe, Thomas Edison with his light bulb, J.K. Rowling with her first and subsequent Harry Potter novels, and so many others....

Try to imagine them giving up because “success” wasn’t happening fast enough. Also recognize that none of them focused on becoming successful; they did, however, want to succeed at creating what they believed in… let me repeat that: what they believed in. An unintentional by-product of their efforts is what they taught us about passionate commitment and persistence.

What goal or dream do you have that you believe in—enough to trust right timing for its fulfillment?

Wishing you a wonderful day and a day filled with wonders… and, right timing for dream fulfillment!

7 Tips to Manage Overwhelm

Overwhelm blocks productivity, creativity, enjoyment… and even income! You can begin to improve this starting today.

In my article, “What Does Feeling Overwhelmed Really Mean?”, I mentioned I’d created a mind map. Since then, I revisited my mind map and removed a few things listed there. They’re terrific ideas, but they don’t really “crank my tractor.” This is something you might keep in mind, too.

I’m something of a list addict—okay, maybe list maniac is more like it. Over the years, I’ve revised how I manage my lists so I don’t overwhelm myself with them and what’s on them—though, I can still get carried away when ideas flow. It may look messy or imprecise to others, but it’s a system that works for me.

Here are 7 tips to help you manage or prevent overwhelm, especially for those of you who are list addicts too or don’t like lists and, perhaps, operate a bit on the disorganized side.

1. Stop looking at your physical or mental to-do list and focusing on what isn’t getting done. Key Lesson: To-do lists are to help you focus, not hold you hostage.

2. When you feel overwhelmed by your list, either your energy and enthusiasm fold up and you do nothing or you run yourself ragged trying to clear items from the list—usually non-essential items instead of priorities. You do this to, hopefully, make that darn list smaller! But, of course, you continue to add items to your list, and you feel like you don’t make any real headway. As soon as you catch yourself doing either of these or about to, stop! And, go to the next tip.

3. Prioritize! This may mean numbering items in order of importance or noting which are actually priorities (essential) and which aren’t (not essential).

4. Dump some of the non-essential to-do items—or all of them—or give them to someone else to do, for pay or not, depending on the situation.

5. Give about an hour a week to your to-do list to categorize items as Priority, Not A Priority But Needs Doing, and Non-Essential. Decide which priority or priorities will have your attention that week and decide on which days you’ll focus on which priorities. Include some time for non-priority items that do need to be completed by you or will create personal fulfillment.

6. Remember to take breaks. Get up and move around or do something else for 5 to 10 minutes every hour. (When you focus on projects or tasks, eliminate as many interruptions as it’s realistic to do.) Be sure to take at least one full day each week (two is better), when you do nothing work-related, including thinking about anything work-related. This can make a huge difference in energy, enthusiasm, creativity, and yes, even in income. If you’re self-employed, stress from overwhelm can push success away from you. If employed, being productive, rather than frazzled and behind in your work, can justify pay raises, in your mind and your employer’s.

7. Adjust your attitude. Find a way to make whatever you do a creative challenge for you, whatever that looks or feels like to you. “Martyrs” don’t have fun and aren’t fun to be around. If what you have to do isn’t pleasant, why are you doing it? Sometimes you have to do the unpleasant tasks, but sometimes you don’t. It also helps attitude to consider if what you do will be a genuine help to someone who relies on you for valid reasons. If you switched places with them, what attitude would you hope the other person demonstrated?

Another contributor to overwhelm is when your actions don’t show immediate results. You might give up or change course instead of look at what’s going on and what might lead to desired results. Impatience makes you chase lots of flashy things that seem to say, “Try me! Try me!” This is a big reason why success gets stalled—this, plus too many people believe they have to get it “right” and strike it big right away rather than improve and build gradually.

Overwhelm leads to lack of faith in yourself, leads to lack of faith that your desired result is possible. You may flip back and forth between, “This will work” and “This will never work,” which is stacking another form of overwhelm atop what’s already there. Overwhelm can lead you to undervalue you and what you offer—and even those you offer it to.

Really look at what your priorities are—what can actually lead to desired results. Really look at what aren’t priorities. Is there anything on your list that is a terrific idea but just doesn’t float your boat about doing it (and the decision to do it is yours alone)? Delete any of these you know you could or should, or recruit someone to handle them for you, if you truly believe they need to happen. But, don’t convince yourself non-essential items, or uninspiring ones, have to be done just because you wrote them down.

Keep in mind that life seldom happens in a straight line. Neither does goal or dream setting and getting. A plan-of-action helps you stay the course and get back on course when detours show up. You don’t have to be “perfectly” organized, but you benefit if you have a system that helps you be better organized, in a way that works for you.

Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

End procrastination and achieve desired change in a 2-month online course (see website) with Joyce Shafer, Life Coach, author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say & other books/e-books, & publisher of State of Appreciation, a free weekly online newsletter promoting a blend of practical & spiritual approaches to life for personal development and self-realization. Receive a free PDF of How to Have What You REALLY Want when you subscribe at http://www.stateofappreciation.webs.com/

What Does Feeling Overwhelmed Really Mean?

There are two types of overwhelm: the type that’s triggered by external events and the type you self-impose. Both can be managed with the same technique.

“I’m overwhelmed,” was my client’s first comment. You’ve been in that state of mind, and so have I. And, that’s what’s important to understand—overwhelm is a state of mind, not an actual event.

Let’s look at a parallel situation. Say you’re hosting a holiday dinner, maybe for the first time, maybe not. Very few people, though there are some, would go to the store and push a cart up and down the aisles, believing the meal plan will come together for them as they do this. Most of us would hit overwhelm pretty quickly, especially if we want the meal to be a good one and the preparation to go smoothly.

You could avoid that overwhelm by sitting down with paper and pen, deciding on what’s to be served, what you have already, and what you need to get. At some point you might even write out a plan of when to start preparing each food item, when to set the table or lay out what your guests will use. You might even recruit helpers. You may feel somewhat anxious on the day because you want everything to go well, but you won’t feel overwhelmed—because you have a plan with steps to take—a strategy. And, yes, something unexpected may happen that makes your plan wobble, but it’s easier to address a wobble if what needs to be done is clear to you.

Any dream or goal, whether for business or personal fulfillment, deserves a strategy session. You’re told to take action and to take it fast. That works well for inspired ideas—ones that happen in a flash and create a particular feeling inside you when you get the idea and while you act on it. The rest of your ideas need some time spent on them so you know which actions to take, both the initial time you consider this plus some revisits and revisions, until you achieve your desired outcome.

Sometimes, people procrastinate because they don’t practice using a strategy. The longer this continues the more fear stops them in their tracks, possibly for years, until they no longer believe in their ability to go after what they desire. I share such a story on the End Procrastination page on my website.

Back to my client . . . when I asked her what her overwhelmed feeling was about, she shared something new she’s moving forward in her business and several other personal projects she feels strongly about. We discussed her need to spend productive time with each project, the need for research, when her most productive work time of the day is, and the need for her to create a list of what she is to work on each day—created the night before. We included flexibility to act on inspired ideas if they show up and want to bump her original plan over short-term.

She also had the thought, as many do, that maybe she should work on all of her ideas at once (which was part of the cause of her overwhelm); so, we discussed prioritizing. Years back I worked for someone who brought me three “priority” projects at once. I asked, “Which would you like completed first?” His answer was, “All of them.” I handled that situation; but you can see that you might do this to yourself, might think you have to work on everything at once, which is impossible, isn’t productive, and puts you into a state of self-imposed overwhelm.

I created a mind map. At the center is my core (business) purpose, what I choose to provide/create. I drew lines out from the core and added more circles at the end of each line that include ways I want to fulfill my core purpose. Each circle requires a strategy. Each circle can have its own mind map, if needed. Everything listed on that map is directly related to the core purpose. Some of the items are ones I do weekly. The others are prioritized and re-prioritized when I add new ideas or feel a particular inspiration about them.

Some of you may have an aversion to mapping out a strategy. For some of you, the absence of a strategy may work—it’s rare, but it does happen for a few people, like shopping for a major dinner without a list and it works out. If you don’t fit into that rare category, you need a strategy, a plan, a map—call it whatever you want to that makes you feel on board with the process, but give yourself and your project(s) the time deserved so you know what you’re doing, why, when, and so on. Otherwise, you’ll stay crazy-busy being active, but not productive; or maybe you’ll be somewhat productive but also crazed by the activity involved and the undone items you feel looming. You’ll exhaust and overwhelm yourself, when you don’t have to. You’ll also move toward your desired result steadily, with fewer starts and stops.

Steadily . . . One of the external causes of overwhelm these days is a result of some of the marketing going on where individuals lead you to believe you have to aim at becoming a gazillionaire overnight or by next week. How about letting those ideas go and just focus on creating a foundation of action so you get started and move forward consistently.

Whether part of your purpose is to generate income or not, let how you can make a difference with each item listed—before a dollar (or praise)—guide you as you map out your strategy.

Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com) is a Life Coach, author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say & other books/e-books, and publisher of a free weekly online newsletter that connects people with information, resources, and others aligned with enhancing and expanding spiritual Truth in their personal and business lives. Receive a free PDF of How to Have What You REALLY Want when you subscribe at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com