After You Ask Source for What You Want, Then What?

You’re supposed to ask for what you want, right? What are your thoughts about how, when, and what to ask for? And what about after you ask; is what you do then really that important?

If you’re familiar with the teachings of Abraham through Esther and Jerry Hicks, or any ancient teachings readily available to you today, you know you are always “asking” and you are always “receiving.” The glitch or hitch is that we forget, ignore, or don’t realize that every thought, but especially each emotionally-charged thought (positive or negative) is received by the quantum field as a “request” to be matched up with an experience. Fortunately for us, not every “request” gets fulfilled, for a variety of reasons: slow energy, we change our minds often, or it doesn’t fit into the bigger picture at that time or ever. For the more scientifically-inclined readers, quantum physics confirmed this thought-to-manifestation process; though, the scientists didn’t focus on the emotional aspect.

The duration of a thought or an emotionally-charged thought doesn’t matter as much as the “pure” quality of the thought vibration transmitted, meaning the thought is a clear, concise one not jumbled with other “stuff,” and it produces a distinct feeling in you. This is why you can have a passing thought that has a pure “charge” and feeling to it that produces results the same as a thought you pondered on for quite a while, and perhaps gets fulfilled even sooner than one you dwelled on.

What about how you ask? A funny thing happened as I began my notes for this writing: I realized I practice two forms of asking, deliberately, that is. Before having this realization, I’d made a note that rather than ask for anything tangible in the form of a stated or written request, what I do is briefly think about what is needed or wanted – practically skim over the thought of it - then connect with a deep feeling of appreciation for all I have and have ever received, especially those times when Source supplied what was needed in pleasantly surprising ways and at just the right moment. This is followed with a silent, and sometimes aloud, heart- and spirit-felt “Thank you,” which I feel through every cell of my body. According to the Law of Matching Vibration (Attraction), the more you appreciate what you have and have received, the more you receive and have to appreciate. But, you can negate this, which I explain in a bit.

This note about feeling appreciation mentioned above was made before my prior week’s article was published. As I turned my attention to that other article, I heard myself silently say, as I do each week, or before each engagement with a coaching client, “I ask for assistance with this.” Huh?! Why did I use feeling appreciation for one and a direct request for another? Both led me to conscious receptive alignment, so what was the difference, as far as my consciousness was concerned?

Then it came to me: When I wish to be of beneficial service, I ask for specific assistance. When I’m ready to receive more of my “good” or just want to feel better or really good, I appreciate. I’d never noticed this distinction in my asking practice before. Kind of illuminating, actually. But, that’s me. It’s possible that how you ask is or will be different. Evidence of the effectiveness of your way is in your results and How You Feel.

Okay, so we’ve looked at asking. What comes after that? The bridge does. The bridge between request and result is to practice trust. I could say “practice patience,” but the word “patience” tends to annoy the ego-aspect of many, which is understandable. So, practice trust imbued with appreciation, including about right timing. This is helpful and beneficial because how you behave while you wait matters, which I’ll explain.

One thing it’s best or wise not to practice after you ask is doubt. “To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation.” (Life of Pi) The waiting time between request and result opens you to doubt. Resistance, struggle, and doubt can result in a longer wait than originally intended. We are meant to trust; and, perhaps, this is one of the primary things we are meant to learn while here. Yes, we are meant to take action once we have a clear next step, but we are above all meant to trust in the overall bigger picture unfolding and evolving simultaneous to our individual experience. This not only leads to trust and appreciation of Source, but also builds self-trust and personal and spiritual power.

By all means, do some productive venting with an appropriate person, coach, or therapist, if you need to, but then use the power of your words in your favor, whether spoken or thought. This means letting go of complaining, criticism, judgment, self-pity, seeking pity from others, and so on. Sounds simple, yes? Not! But, it is doable. And it’s important you do it because what you give, or give out, you get back: If you doubt or worry or complain, you get more experiences than what you might have in the “normal” course of your life, that cause you to doubt or worry or complain. Okay, let’s face it: There’s a certain amount of doubt, worry, or complaining you might feel justified doing while you try to figure your way through some of the mazes you find you and your life in. But we all pretty much know that it’s one thing to “ride a ride” a few times, and quite another to never get off.

When you practice doubt, worry, and complaining, you negate your asking, because “have” and “have not” cannot occupy the same mental, emotional, or physical space at the same time; and the one you feel more strongly is the one usually matched, e.g., “I ask for (or appreciate) my abundance” is negated by “I never have enough, and I never will,” or “Why does everything have to be a struggle?” You can negate in the other direction as well, e.g., “Nothing good is happening or ever happens for me” can become “Something wonderful happens for me every day.” It also helps to know that whatever you want more of, give more of. Need encouragement? Give it. Need to be understood? Give understanding. Need generosity? Be generous in some way. Need peace? Be peaceful.

I’m reminded of the movie, “50 First Dates,” which is about a young woman with a head injury that caused her to relive the same day over and over, in almost exactly the same way. Fortunately, her family and those she interacted with the day of the injury are aware of this and go to extreme lengths to repeat that day as close to exact as possible so she isn’t traumatized. Also fortunate is that the young man who meets and falls in love with her comes up with an inspired idea that helps her move forward in life; in fact, it helps everyone in her life move forward. My point in using this movie as an example is that our thoughts, words, and behaviors cause us, and those we share our life with, to experience something similar to her experience each time we practice repeating the same or pretty much the same non-supportive, non-forward-moving, non-trusting thoughts, words, and behaviors.

Imagine that each time you ask for what you want then follow that action with focus on or statements about what you don’t want or don’t like, it’s like the movie: You basically return to where you started from or experience a one-step-forward, two-steps-back “progression.” If we knew this was what happened, we’d be more diligent about this, wouldn’t we? But isn’t this exactly what the Law of Matching Vibration (Attraction) reveals does happen when this is our practice? And if we pause to consider this, if we haven’t before, we’re all too familiar with these types of experiences, aren’t we?

Yes, life continues along the time-stream it’s on; and we add years and different experiences to our lives, but some of the same experiences repeat. They repeat because, as Abraham-Hicks conveyed, “So if you are predominantly thinking about the things that you desire, your life experience reflects those things. And, in the same way, if you are predominantly thinking about what you do not want, your life experience reflects those things.” Joyce Meyer says it this way: Praise and raise; complain and remain.

There’s also another aspect to all of this, one not everyone may be pleased about, but it’s present all the same and ties everything together. It’s something of a “Thy will be done” aspect, whether you mean to convey this to God, Source, the Universe, or your Higher Self. This doesn’t mean you do nothing; it’s more like “You gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em” kind of conscious awareness, because, as I stated earlier, there is always a bigger picture unfolding and evolving. Butting your head against this fact never helps, only hurts. What you resist persists. Action sets you free, whether that’s inner or outer action; but even outer action is birthed at the inner level, so start there with one other good thing you can ask for.

The one other good thing you can ask for is insight - or call it awareness or higher consciousness. But just like anything you ask for, there is some level of action required on your part such as paying attention differently; asking right questions, which can include asking for the right question or questions; and being receptive to shifting at the inner and outer levels, which may involve no longer practicing some long-held beliefs and behaviors that really haven’t served you and your life the way you’d hoped, but that may feel “comfortable” or that you may be addicted to.

Ask for what you need or want, as you are meant to do. Use your emotions and words to soothe or keep doubt out of the picture. Know and allow that there is a bigger picture happening that you are a part of. Allow trust and appreciation to be your purest emotional charges and feelings. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.    

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

Is fulfillment of your dream or goal just around the corner?

Trust right timing as you aim at and hit targets that expand your life experience in ways you choose.

There is an old Zen adage that says, "If you want to know where you are supposed to be, look down at your feet."

Now each of us could come up with a reason, story, or question to dispute that adage—and we’d feel righteously justified about arguing with it; but if we truly want to live in a state of awareness and enlightenment, we’ll allow that there’s truth in that statement.

We can assist ourselves if we deliberately choose to not dwell on the timing we believe is right and instead focus attention on envisioning our desired end result and feeling now what we believe we’ll feel once it’s ours, which feeds our motivation.

We also need to be aware that “It’s the journey, not the destination” is true, as well. Maybe part of your right timing includes something you need to learn about yourself, like a particularly limiting belief you need to see for what it is and go beyond it, or improvement or addition of certain skills.

When you have a dream or goal, which you have full intention to create and passionate commitment to fulfill, right timing has your foundation underneath it that says, “…however long it takes and whatever it takes.”

Consider some of the most famous creatives and inventors who believed in their desired outcome, even while it took longer than most of us might have had patience to wait… Colonel Sanders with his fried chicken recipe, Thomas Edison with his light bulb, J.K. Rowling with her first and subsequent Harry Potter novels, and so many others....

Try to imagine them giving up because “success” wasn’t happening fast enough. Also recognize that none of them focused on becoming successful; they did, however, want to succeed at creating what they believed in… let me repeat that: what they believed in. An unintentional by-product of their efforts is what they taught us about passionate commitment and persistence.

What goal or dream do you have that you believe in—enough to trust right timing for its fulfillment?

Wishing you a wonderful day and a day filled with wonders… and, right timing for dream fulfillment!

Do You Experience Mixed Feelings About Being Patient and Tolerant?

Patience and tolerance are behaviors and states of mind to practice, right? How well do you do with them?

Questions about Patience and Tolerance came to me after I spent extended time with someone who couldn’t seem to talk about anything that wasn’t unpleasant. All of us need a dose of healthy venting at times; but what I mean here is non-stop negative chatter about anything and everything, not conversation about a specific matter that genuinely needs attention or compassion. If such chatter goes on overlong, I get the heebie-jeebies.

This person’s tendency is to be this way at times, so I’m not surprised when it happens. However, it was my reaction that got my attention. I noticed I was practicing patience, which meant I was pretending to be patient; and that when my pretend patience waned, I slipped (very briefly) into tolerance, which meant I’d actually slipped into pretend tolerance, which is intolerance.

My dictionary defines patience as bearing or enduring pain, trouble, etc., without complaining or losing self-control; refusing to be provoked or angered; calmly tolerating delay, confusion, inefficiency, etc.; able to wait calmly for something desired. Tolerance is defined as to allow, permit, or not interfere; to recognize and respect others’ beliefs, practices, etc., without sharing them; to bear or put up with someone or something not especially liked. Wow… that’s quite a bit to live up to.

I’d have to say that asking ourselves to uphold these definitions all the time would be asking a lot. But, don’t we usually believe we’re supposed to be this way, and that we’re flawed if we aren’t? We may think we should be more patient or tolerant, but what we ultimately want is to feel differently than we do so we behave differently than we might.

The words we don’t see with the definitions—the words we believe we should feel, which are the source of mixed feelings are, “and you are genuinely in balance about doing so.” The word “calmly” is included in the definitions, but it’s more realistic to say we try to convince ourselves to stay calm, when we know we’re losing our cool. The more we try to suppress what we feel, the more our feelings begin to escape as facial expressions and body language, comments, and actions—like steam from a kettle starting to boil.

Maybe what we actually practice is demonstrating as much self-control as we can muster in moments that try our patience and tolerance. When we were kids, we screamed, cried, and threw stuff—behaviors not considered acceptable in anyone over a certain age. As adults, perhaps we do allow ourselves some leeway… like the point a doctor made about allergies: “Imagine allergens filling your system like liquid fills a glass. You’re fine until the glass is full and spills over. The overflow is when you experience allergies.” I see the parallel to loss of patience and tolerance, which means we could probably give ourselves more credit than we might.

It feels like this to me: In general, we tolerate a level of behaviors and situations because we all have our ways, both good and could-be-better; and we really do desire to get along as well as possible with others and life. When “stuff” piles up, like being rushed, exhausted, have too much going on, too great a personality contrast, etc., our “glass” overflows and we feel less able to “politely” suppress how we really feel. Once we feel pushed too far (more accurately: once we think ourselves into feeling we’ve been pushed too far), we’re no longer able or willing to put up with what annoys us. It’s not about losing patience and tolerance—we will; it’s about what we do when we lose it.

When patience and tolerance are challenging to maintain, or fly out the window, it’s time to look at what’s underneath this. It’s likely that something has continued past its “expiration date.” It could be something external or internal that needs reassessment and adjustment.

It’s likely you have a greater threshold of tolerance and patience at times, say, when you assist someone who’s ill or train a new puppy. It doesn’t mean that you won’t slip if challenged beyond what your “glass” can hold, but you may be slower at being triggered during such times because you have an inner alignment about your role in what’s going on. That’s what’s underneath patience and tolerance, and their opposites: Your level of personal alignment with what’s going on.

Explore what causes you to feel anything but at one with yourself, who you’re with, your environment, or events. There’s a message waiting for you there from your core self—a message about an inner or outer action you need to make to restore inner balance and serenity.

Judgment about yourself, or who or what tries your patience won’t help; it’ll make your symptoms worse because that’s what you focus on rather than the remedy. Take several deep breaths. Maybe walk away from who or what triggers you for several minutes to regain some of your calm. You want to be present enough to ask right questions like, “What’s this really about; and what am I willing to do, with integrity, about it.” Otherwise, you may pretend patience and tolerance, until you no longer can. Then the “steam hits the fan,” when you might have been able to turn down the “flame.”

Practice makes progress.