What Personal Power Really Is

What does personal power mean to you? It’s something we all want more of, so maybe if we’re sure what it is, we’ll know where to go from there.

Personal Power can mean many things to us. Maybe you think it means better use of Law of Attraction, more money flowing more consistently in your direction, influence, self-confidence, and so forth; and, possibly, all of these and more. Whatever it means to you, what personal power really is, is as much a result as it is a means to desired results.

Here’s a nifty way to understand what personal power really is: Personal Power equals Effectiveness. And, we can do things that either expand or deplete how effective we are. I give you a few significant examples of each of these ways in a moment.

Something you may find helpful to keep in mind is that you can shift your focus from increasing your personal power to increasing your effectiveness. This applies to whatever personal power means to you. This perspective puts a different slant on how to expand your power; maybe this even makes it feel easier, doable, and less ambiguous. This pathway opens you to inspired ideas, and to pay attention to what works and creates improvements, rather than on what you judge as broken or on what you perceive as wrong with you.

Let’s look at ways you may deplete your effectiveness:

*Time, Energy, or Money is put towards something your heart really isn’t into.
*Make choices that are not in your best interest or are not appropriate for you.
*Thoughts, self-talk, and actions aren’t focused on desired results.
*Add steps that are not really needed to get desired results.
*Allow time-draining tasks then get used to engaging in time-draining activities.
*Focus is placed on too many goals or improvements at once, which results in being scattered or overwhelmed.
*Make disempowering choices, which makes making disempowering choices easier and easier, even if the results are undesired.
*Have a to-do list without priorities, direction, or purpose.
*Give time, energy, or money to anything that doesn’t provide a return in some measure, whether that’s of a spiritual, emotional, or tangible nature. This includes foods and beverages, people, volunteer work, studies, activities, etc.

Let’s look at ways you can enhance your effectiveness:

*Put time, energy, and money into what feels worthy to you and that your heart is into.
*Trust that consistent small improvements, rather than massive action, are more effective and lasting; understanding that the very thought of massive action may cause you to never get organized, much less get started.
*Plan and take some effective action every day.
*Recognize that although learning is an action and is effective, real effectiveness happens when you put what you learn into practice, and modify as needed.
*Exchange what slows or holds off desired results for what creates or moves toward desired results.

Although Personal Power can take many forms, three elements support it: time, energy, and money. When you deplete one, you deplete the other two. When you enhance one, you enhance the other two.

You have all the personal power you need. It’s a matter of directing it better and deliberately. Here’s how you can put this into practice: Pick an area of your life that you want to improve. Use the depleting and enhancing information offered here as a guide for one week. Look at ways you know are effective in a positive, productive way and use them. Try new ways on and see how they work, with no concept of failure involved, just research, testing, and assessment of results. Maybe pick one of the three elements to focus on: better time-usage choices, better choices that support your energy, or better money choices. Keep notes about how your actions on one element affect the other two. Notice how the three elements work as a team.

If you’re ready to increase your effectiveness, start at the inner level, especially with deliberately supportive self-talk and thinking; it will ripple outward into your life in ways you appreciate. Put improved effectiveness into practice, and enjoy feeling more personally powerful in your life.

Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
This week’s State of Appreciation is live! http://stateofappreciation.webs.com

Belief, Faith, Knowing: What’s the Difference?

Others and I have used the words belief, faith, and knowing interchangeably, but I’ve realized there’s a difference. It’s important to use the right word to arrive at the desired state of mind.

Mark Twain said, “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” In my experience, Knowing is fed by Faith, and Faith is fed by Belief. This means Belief is the first “rung” on that particular ladder. And that means you get to Knowing through the ability to believe in a particular way—and putting it into practice.

BELIEF

Desired Belief—the ability to believe something positive and in our favor—is tricky for many people. We’re so practiced with doubt and worry, that landing on Belief can be challenging. Belief has its own ladder; and this is why you have to be honest about which rung you can comfortably put your foot on, in order to climb it. Say you’ve struggled with weight for years. You may say you’re going to lose 50 pounds and keep it off, but not really believe it. However, you may be able to say and believe that you know how to lose two pounds a week and that you will do what it takes to make that improvement each week until you reach your desired weight, and maintain it.

A quick way to get into a Belief state is to feel, as a possibility, “Why not?!” Why not allow that your desired outcome could happen? It takes as much energy to believe it can’t or won’t happen as it does to believe it could; but could feels better and opens you to a greater chance of fulfillment. Here’s how a typical mental conversation might go: “It could happen, so why not?! Well, maybe I don’t deserve it.” Consider people who have what you might desire and whose deserve-quotient you might question. Does “deserve” really fit? No, it doesn’t. Deserve is an imposed perception, not a rule; and what you believe about what you deserve opens or blocks receiving. The creative energy doesn’t judge whether you deserve, it supplies what you believe.

Belief happens through repetition—positive or negative—mental, verbal, or repetitive actions. This is why we can fool ourselves and stay with the surface appearance rather than go deeper, where Universal Truth is found: We are what we think. Fortunately, we can decide to choose what we think; though, we may choose to ignore this truth and its inherent potential to influence life in our favor. We can also choose to improve what needs improvement at the outer level, which builds self-belief. “I believe I could improve this” is a good “lower rung” if “I will improve this” feels out of reach initially.

Belief that what happened in the past Is What Is, affects your power to believe in what’s possible now or in the future. Decide to stop letting the past prevent you from receiving your present and future. Here’s a tip that works: Each night, repeat three times to yourself: “As I sleep, I have one or more dreams that cause me to…” Work on only one desired result at a time; but you can ask to feel happy, confident, inspired, to be attuned to needed resources—whatever you feel would benefit you most at the moment. Keep it simple.

FAITH

When we deliberately practice influencing what and how we believe, and do this in our favor—and make it a point to observe small and large evidences of this working, we build faith that what we believe influences what we receive and how we experience life.

Faith is the absence of doubt; but, how to do you get to that place? You can start with “Why not?!” and call up one or more memories of times you believed something good would happen in your favor—and it did. This deliberate way of thinking connects you with the feeling you had when something worked out, maybe the way you hoped and maybe in a way even better than you imagined—or even if that meant it didn’t work out, and that was in your favor, too. Faith comes from connecting to the feeling when your best interests were met and deciding to trust they’ll be met in your favor again… and again.

KNOWING

Knowing is an intuitive connection to the flow of creative energy. It’s when your desired result or experience is in harmony with the bigger picture—and you feel, with faith, that something wonderful on its way to you. I love these moments. Sometimes they seem to just happen, but most times it’s because I deliberately moved myself through belief and faith memories to stimulate the feeling of knowing that I’m part of—a participant in—something larger, and in partnership with the creative energy that always works in my favor, despite appearances at times. Sometimes I know something specific is on its way, and sometimes I just know something for my good is on its way.

At every present moment, we know only a part of the bigger picture. A state of Knowing feels easier to enter when you allow this as a fact; and because of past experiences, you release every thought or emotion except one: trust. The creative energy loves appreciation and it loves trust that puts you into a state of knowing that the energy works in your behalf at all times.

Just like the weight example in the Belief segment, you may need to start with one matter at a time rather than frustrating yourself by attempting to be in a state of belief, faith, and knowing at all times. Allow yourself to grow each of the three, as needed. This way of thinking—in order to reach these states of mind—is a practice; and those who feel them fully more often practice them more often.

Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
This week’s State of Appreciation is live! http://stateofappreciation.webs.com

Do You Experience Mixed Feelings About Being Patient and Tolerant?

Patience and tolerance are behaviors and states of mind to practice, right? How well do you do with them?

Questions about Patience and Tolerance came to me after I spent extended time with someone who couldn’t seem to talk about anything that wasn’t unpleasant. All of us need a dose of healthy venting at times; but what I mean here is non-stop negative chatter about anything and everything, not conversation about a specific matter that genuinely needs attention or compassion. If such chatter goes on overlong, I get the heebie-jeebies.

This person’s tendency is to be this way at times, so I’m not surprised when it happens. However, it was my reaction that got my attention. I noticed I was practicing patience, which meant I was pretending to be patient; and that when my pretend patience waned, I slipped (very briefly) into tolerance, which meant I’d actually slipped into pretend tolerance, which is intolerance.

My dictionary defines patience as bearing or enduring pain, trouble, etc., without complaining or losing self-control; refusing to be provoked or angered; calmly tolerating delay, confusion, inefficiency, etc.; able to wait calmly for something desired. Tolerance is defined as to allow, permit, or not interfere; to recognize and respect others’ beliefs, practices, etc., without sharing them; to bear or put up with someone or something not especially liked. Wow… that’s quite a bit to live up to.

I’d have to say that asking ourselves to uphold these definitions all the time would be asking a lot. But, don’t we usually believe we’re supposed to be this way, and that we’re flawed if we aren’t? We may think we should be more patient or tolerant, but what we ultimately want is to feel differently than we do so we behave differently than we might.

The words we don’t see with the definitions—the words we believe we should feel, which are the source of mixed feelings are, “and you are genuinely in balance about doing so.” The word “calmly” is included in the definitions, but it’s more realistic to say we try to convince ourselves to stay calm, when we know we’re losing our cool. The more we try to suppress what we feel, the more our feelings begin to escape as facial expressions and body language, comments, and actions—like steam from a kettle starting to boil.

Maybe what we actually practice is demonstrating as much self-control as we can muster in moments that try our patience and tolerance. When we were kids, we screamed, cried, and threw stuff—behaviors not considered acceptable in anyone over a certain age. As adults, perhaps we do allow ourselves some leeway… like the point a doctor made about allergies: “Imagine allergens filling your system like liquid fills a glass. You’re fine until the glass is full and spills over. The overflow is when you experience allergies.” I see the parallel to loss of patience and tolerance, which means we could probably give ourselves more credit than we might.

It feels like this to me: In general, we tolerate a level of behaviors and situations because we all have our ways, both good and could-be-better; and we really do desire to get along as well as possible with others and life. When “stuff” piles up, like being rushed, exhausted, have too much going on, too great a personality contrast, etc., our “glass” overflows and we feel less able to “politely” suppress how we really feel. Once we feel pushed too far (more accurately: once we think ourselves into feeling we’ve been pushed too far), we’re no longer able or willing to put up with what annoys us. It’s not about losing patience and tolerance—we will; it’s about what we do when we lose it.

When patience and tolerance are challenging to maintain, or fly out the window, it’s time to look at what’s underneath this. It’s likely that something has continued past its “expiration date.” It could be something external or internal that needs reassessment and adjustment.

It’s likely you have a greater threshold of tolerance and patience at times, say, when you assist someone who’s ill or train a new puppy. It doesn’t mean that you won’t slip if challenged beyond what your “glass” can hold, but you may be slower at being triggered during such times because you have an inner alignment about your role in what’s going on. That’s what’s underneath patience and tolerance, and their opposites: Your level of personal alignment with what’s going on.

Explore what causes you to feel anything but at one with yourself, who you’re with, your environment, or events. There’s a message waiting for you there from your core self—a message about an inner or outer action you need to make to restore inner balance and serenity.

Judgment about yourself, or who or what tries your patience won’t help; it’ll make your symptoms worse because that’s what you focus on rather than the remedy. Take several deep breaths. Maybe walk away from who or what triggers you for several minutes to regain some of your calm. You want to be present enough to ask right questions like, “What’s this really about; and what am I willing to do, with integrity, about it.” Otherwise, you may pretend patience and tolerance, until you no longer can. Then the “steam hits the fan,” when you might have been able to turn down the “flame.”

Practice makes progress.

Is Your Focus on the Target or the Prize?

The article title asks an important question. The one you focus on has everything to do with not only your outcome but your experience reaching it.

In his book, Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality, Anthony De Mello quotes Chinese sage Tranxu: “When the archer shoots for no particular prize, he has all his skills; when he shoots to win a brass buckle, he is already nervous; when he shoots for a gold prize, he goes blind, sees two targets, and is out of his mind. His skill has not changed, but the prize divides him. He cares! He thinks more of winning than of shooting, and the need to win drains him of power.”

This is a conundrum for many, though its presence usually escapes our awareness. This can happen in a variety of ways. Here are two examples.

Money

Say you feel a financial pinch (or not) and decide to offer a product, service, or workshop. Maybe it is something you already created or you create something new. The Prize is how much money you might get; perhaps, even recognition and referrals. Your Target is to provide something that solves a problem for people or enhances their lives. Re-read Tranxu’s words and think about how this might affect your energy, attitude, actions, and ultimate results in such a situation.

Are you relaxed and confident about using your skills, talents, or knowledge to assist others, with serving them as one motivator and growing yourself as another? If so, whatever your initial results are, they will expand. You will expand.

If your eyes (emotional energies) are on the prize, you will contract instead of expand. Your potential clients or customers will contract away from you, and so will your desired results. You will focus on aspects that lead you away from your true path.

Let go of any tendency to compare yourself and your desired results to others and their results, as this is another form of Eyes on the Prize.

Relationships

Consider the difference between having your target be a loving, joyful relationship with your right partner, and allowing that to arrive and unfold in your life vs. considering a specific individual as your prize. How will you think, feel, speak, and act in the first scenario vs. the second? Which scenario is imbued with ease and which with emotional upset and drama?

You could say a true target leads to expansion of your inner knowing and larger awareness. This type of focus results in not just some or many sought-after prizes coming to you, but inner and outer gifts from the Universe arrive, as well. These gifts are not rewards; they are results of Cause and Effect, according to the laws of the spiritual universe.

If your target is to BE more, which causes you to offer and contribute more, you will focus on what helps you create this. Results will come to you because this is how IT works.

You can certainly be aware your desired prize is out there and still put your primary focus on your true target. If your focus is primarily on the prize, you can bet you will experience one or more of these: worry, anxiety, jealousy, lack of confidence (or arrogance), overwork, loss of energy, depression, loss of sleep, money fears, harsh self-judgment, and the list goes on. Your results will be less than desired or none, because this is also according to the laws of the spiritual universe.

This Target or Prize focus can be applied to anything in your life. It is a good question to ask whenever you feel any emotions other than serenity, confidence, or happiness. But, it is also important to identify your True Target, which is always an inner one. Inner always creates outer. Outer always reflects inner.

You are what you practice.
© Joyce Shafer

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Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com), You Are More! Empowerment Coach, author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say & other books/ebooks (Lulu.com). Benefit from empowering articles & Extras, and learn how Your Personality Blueprint can clear obstacles from your life, in her free weekly newsletter at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com