If You Want to Move Forward, You Have to Kick Some Buts

Energy is always in motion; but you can feel stuck when your thinking process goes in opposing directions. Here’s an effective way to get your thinking and energy moving in one direction only.

Is it even possible to think in opposing directions? Yes. It happens when you say or think, “I want (this), but…” Attention on what you believe opposes what you want (whatever follows the “but”) will never, ever lead you to what you do want. This opposing motion makes your energy and your life feel stuck in place. To shift this you need to find and kick your own buts.

There’s a lot of talk these days about surrendering to what-is, some of it from me (surrender meaning allowing the appearance of something that’s present in your life and working on it from there, rather than resisting it, or to give up or give in). I’d like to clarify this a bit by adding that we tend to focus on what-is as it appears to us or as we interpret it, rather than on the energy underneath it (cause and effect). In other words, we’d assist ourselves in a better way by allowing the appearance to be what it is instead of resisting it (because it is there), and identifying the cause and effect factor, to see how we may do something different or differently, in order to create a desirable shift in us and in our experiences.

Because our ego-aspect prefers being comfortable and unruffled, we can get lost or mired by focusing on the appearance of what-is in our life, which puts us in the mindset of opposing thoughts, which means situations or matters don’t change in the way or as quickly as we’d like. Then one day we feel more uncomfortable than ever before. We feel a sense of urgency about a needed change or adjustment in our lives; and we may even feel we’re running out of time or have. The last thing we – that is, our ego-aspect - think we need to focus on is the energy underneath the what-is we’re concerned with or panicking about.

The thing is that this kind of focus is your best option, maybe your only option, at least initially; and you will have to allow right timing, which you can support with trust in Source and by doing the inner work. That which bothers us is or can be a motivator to get us moving forward, but that is one choice presented to us. The other choice is to be miserable about what we want and don’t have, as yet. Under anything and everything we ever want is, in reality, the feeling we expect the having of it to give or provide to us. Once we grasp this truth, we can access a whole new level of inspiration, motivation, and potential. When we identify the feeling we want to have, then choose to feel it no matter what’s going on, this is the key that unlocks that particular door and many other doors for us.

Sometimes, though, our “buts” cause us to believe we’re thinking or doing one thing when we’re actually thinking or doing another. Here’s an example of this. Let’s take something many people say they want: Security. Let’s try a quick thought experiment with this. Say to yourself, “I want (or need) security.” How do you feel when you say this? Please take a moment to actually say and feel this statement so you really get this; perhaps close your eyes to do this, and stay with it for several seconds.

Did you keenly feel the absence of security, if you don’t believe you have it or can? Did you perceive the silent “but”: “I want/need security, but I don’t have it/will likely never have it/work or struggle so hard, yet still can’t seem to attain it”? Does security feel like an object positioned somewhere outside of you and far off in the distance?

Now follow the same closed-eyes instruction and say this to yourself, “I choose serenity.” How did you feel when you said that? Did you feel serenity start to flow into you, or even outward from you as though it had been let loose from its container, when you said you chose it then paused a moment to be with your choice? There was likely no feeling of distance; and even if it felt outside of you, it likely felt closer than security did. You might have felt it flowing into you or even, perhaps, merging with your hidden or buried inner serenity.

The energy vibration of the word “security” vs. the vibration of the word “serenity” can be quite different at your inner level, despite your intention. The word “security” likely leads your energy to vibrate at the frequency of not having it or not having as much as your ego-aspect would need to feel secure (chasing security – enough to satisfy your ego-aspect, that is - is akin to chasing perfection rather than excellence).

The not-so-funny thing about these words being used “out there” is that you’d get a nod of approval or agreement from mainstream, if you say you want security, and probably more than a few raised eyebrows if you tell mainstream that you’re into choosing serenity these days, despite what’s going on, because you know that what’s going on will eventually align with the vibration of serenity you maintain. Because that IS how this works, whether you choose to focus on security or serenity.

Choosing serenity puts you in a better “place”: A better feeling, a better mindset, a better response mode. It opens you to possibilities and experiences that seem magical or miraculous. Focus on wanting to feel secure is an opposing thought to being it because it’s about the “lack” of it, and this causes you to chase it (or feel stuck in place); whereas, choosing serenity means you open to and receive lovely “gifts” and surprises from the infinite resources of Source. Life feels easier when “amble and appreciate” is your chosen pace and mindset rather than “chase in haste.” What words do you currently use that seem to support you but actually create opposing feelings and energy, and keep you stuck? Choosing serenity at all times can help you deal with the opposing motion of the “buts.”

One way “buts” intrude on our serenity and experiences is that every story we tell ourselves, especially ones we repeat over and over, to ourselves or others, create actual neural pathways in our brains. These thoughts bio-chemically become our “paths of least resistance” in/on our brain, meaning they are either the first response when we are triggered or the foundation of our mindset. Happily, this can be adjusted by telling ourselves better stories with the same energy level and repetition we use to tell ourselves unhelpful ones. We all use the word “but” on occasion; it does have its purposes as a word. However, when it lingers in the mind or is uttered often, or even thought, as the start of a “reason” something will never happen or why we can’t do something, we benefit by calling it out as a story. It is just that, one of many possible stories we can tell ourselves. “But,” you ask, “what if my reason is factual?” Keep reading.

“Buts” ask us to revisit our intention and commitment. If we say we want something “but…,” do we really want it, or want it enough? Why do we want it? Who do we want it for? If it’s not for us, if it’s not our sincere personal want, we’ll feel stuck at some point, because we’re thinking and feeling and attempting to plan in opposing directions. We can’t walk forward and back at the same time. Our “buts” keep us out of alignment with Source and out of head-and-heart alignment. Recall my earlier mention of feeling urgency. Whether urgency is present or not, if you find, choose, and tell yourself a story that will align your head and heart, and you with Source, your experiences and results, and you, will be the better for it.

When a “but” shows up, you might say something like this: “Okay, maybe that’s true; but what CAN I do that I WILL do to get a desirable result, one appropriate for me?” As the saying goes, if there’s no wind – row. Also, when appropriate, a good replacement for “but” is “and”: I appreciate what I have, and I appreciate the “even more” on its way to me now. This is far better than “I appreciate what I have, but I want/must have more.” The wording may seem a small technicality, but so it may seem with “security” vs. “serenity”; yet, the difference becomes obvious in how your body-mind feels when you say each.

“Wanting” gets a bad rap a lot of the time. What helps is to identify the energy under your use of the word “want”. Is it the energy of lack, like “security,” or the energy like “serenity” – something you’d appreciate having even more of? Your wants, especially if unencumbered by frustration about not having whatever right this moment, can fuel your motivation. Wants can drive your focus, your intention, your commitment. Wants can provide the opportunity to align your energy with Source. Alignment provides what? Serenity. Enthusiasm. Excitement. Results! As Abraham-Hicks said, use your leverage of alignment.

So go ahead and kick some of those buts impacting you and your life. At least do what you can to dilute them. Use your but-light mindset to put you in alignment with Source and your good. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.      

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

After You Ask Source for What You Want, Then What?

You’re supposed to ask for what you want, right? What are your thoughts about how, when, and what to ask for? And what about after you ask; is what you do then really that important?

If you’re familiar with the teachings of Abraham through Esther and Jerry Hicks, or any ancient teachings readily available to you today, you know you are always “asking” and you are always “receiving.” The glitch or hitch is that we forget, ignore, or don’t realize that every thought, but especially each emotionally-charged thought (positive or negative) is received by the quantum field as a “request” to be matched up with an experience. Fortunately for us, not every “request” gets fulfilled, for a variety of reasons: slow energy, we change our minds often, or it doesn’t fit into the bigger picture at that time or ever. For the more scientifically-inclined readers, quantum physics confirmed this thought-to-manifestation process; though, the scientists didn’t focus on the emotional aspect.

The duration of a thought or an emotionally-charged thought doesn’t matter as much as the “pure” quality of the thought vibration transmitted, meaning the thought is a clear, concise one not jumbled with other “stuff,” and it produces a distinct feeling in you. This is why you can have a passing thought that has a pure “charge” and feeling to it that produces results the same as a thought you pondered on for quite a while, and perhaps gets fulfilled even sooner than one you dwelled on.

What about how you ask? A funny thing happened as I began my notes for this writing: I realized I practice two forms of asking, deliberately, that is. Before having this realization, I’d made a note that rather than ask for anything tangible in the form of a stated or written request, what I do is briefly think about what is needed or wanted – practically skim over the thought of it - then connect with a deep feeling of appreciation for all I have and have ever received, especially those times when Source supplied what was needed in pleasantly surprising ways and at just the right moment. This is followed with a silent, and sometimes aloud, heart- and spirit-felt “Thank you,” which I feel through every cell of my body. According to the Law of Matching Vibration (Attraction), the more you appreciate what you have and have received, the more you receive and have to appreciate. But, you can negate this, which I explain in a bit.

This note about feeling appreciation mentioned above was made before my prior week’s article was published. As I turned my attention to that other article, I heard myself silently say, as I do each week, or before each engagement with a coaching client, “I ask for assistance with this.” Huh?! Why did I use feeling appreciation for one and a direct request for another? Both led me to conscious receptive alignment, so what was the difference, as far as my consciousness was concerned?

Then it came to me: When I wish to be of beneficial service, I ask for specific assistance. When I’m ready to receive more of my “good” or just want to feel better or really good, I appreciate. I’d never noticed this distinction in my asking practice before. Kind of illuminating, actually. But, that’s me. It’s possible that how you ask is or will be different. Evidence of the effectiveness of your way is in your results and How You Feel.

Okay, so we’ve looked at asking. What comes after that? The bridge does. The bridge between request and result is to practice trust. I could say “practice patience,” but the word “patience” tends to annoy the ego-aspect of many, which is understandable. So, practice trust imbued with appreciation, including about right timing. This is helpful and beneficial because how you behave while you wait matters, which I’ll explain.

One thing it’s best or wise not to practice after you ask is doubt. “To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation.” (Life of Pi) The waiting time between request and result opens you to doubt. Resistance, struggle, and doubt can result in a longer wait than originally intended. We are meant to trust; and, perhaps, this is one of the primary things we are meant to learn while here. Yes, we are meant to take action once we have a clear next step, but we are above all meant to trust in the overall bigger picture unfolding and evolving simultaneous to our individual experience. This not only leads to trust and appreciation of Source, but also builds self-trust and personal and spiritual power.

By all means, do some productive venting with an appropriate person, coach, or therapist, if you need to, but then use the power of your words in your favor, whether spoken or thought. This means letting go of complaining, criticism, judgment, self-pity, seeking pity from others, and so on. Sounds simple, yes? Not! But, it is doable. And it’s important you do it because what you give, or give out, you get back: If you doubt or worry or complain, you get more experiences than what you might have in the “normal” course of your life, that cause you to doubt or worry or complain. Okay, let’s face it: There’s a certain amount of doubt, worry, or complaining you might feel justified doing while you try to figure your way through some of the mazes you find you and your life in. But we all pretty much know that it’s one thing to “ride a ride” a few times, and quite another to never get off.

When you practice doubt, worry, and complaining, you negate your asking, because “have” and “have not” cannot occupy the same mental, emotional, or physical space at the same time; and the one you feel more strongly is the one usually matched, e.g., “I ask for (or appreciate) my abundance” is negated by “I never have enough, and I never will,” or “Why does everything have to be a struggle?” You can negate in the other direction as well, e.g., “Nothing good is happening or ever happens for me” can become “Something wonderful happens for me every day.” It also helps to know that whatever you want more of, give more of. Need encouragement? Give it. Need to be understood? Give understanding. Need generosity? Be generous in some way. Need peace? Be peaceful.

I’m reminded of the movie, “50 First Dates,” which is about a young woman with a head injury that caused her to relive the same day over and over, in almost exactly the same way. Fortunately, her family and those she interacted with the day of the injury are aware of this and go to extreme lengths to repeat that day as close to exact as possible so she isn’t traumatized. Also fortunate is that the young man who meets and falls in love with her comes up with an inspired idea that helps her move forward in life; in fact, it helps everyone in her life move forward. My point in using this movie as an example is that our thoughts, words, and behaviors cause us, and those we share our life with, to experience something similar to her experience each time we practice repeating the same or pretty much the same non-supportive, non-forward-moving, non-trusting thoughts, words, and behaviors.

Imagine that each time you ask for what you want then follow that action with focus on or statements about what you don’t want or don’t like, it’s like the movie: You basically return to where you started from or experience a one-step-forward, two-steps-back “progression.” If we knew this was what happened, we’d be more diligent about this, wouldn’t we? But isn’t this exactly what the Law of Matching Vibration (Attraction) reveals does happen when this is our practice? And if we pause to consider this, if we haven’t before, we’re all too familiar with these types of experiences, aren’t we?

Yes, life continues along the time-stream it’s on; and we add years and different experiences to our lives, but some of the same experiences repeat. They repeat because, as Abraham-Hicks conveyed, “So if you are predominantly thinking about the things that you desire, your life experience reflects those things. And, in the same way, if you are predominantly thinking about what you do not want, your life experience reflects those things.” Joyce Meyer says it this way: Praise and raise; complain and remain.

There’s also another aspect to all of this, one not everyone may be pleased about, but it’s present all the same and ties everything together. It’s something of a “Thy will be done” aspect, whether you mean to convey this to God, Source, the Universe, or your Higher Self. This doesn’t mean you do nothing; it’s more like “You gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em” kind of conscious awareness, because, as I stated earlier, there is always a bigger picture unfolding and evolving. Butting your head against this fact never helps, only hurts. What you resist persists. Action sets you free, whether that’s inner or outer action; but even outer action is birthed at the inner level, so start there with one other good thing you can ask for.

The one other good thing you can ask for is insight - or call it awareness or higher consciousness. But just like anything you ask for, there is some level of action required on your part such as paying attention differently; asking right questions, which can include asking for the right question or questions; and being receptive to shifting at the inner and outer levels, which may involve no longer practicing some long-held beliefs and behaviors that really haven’t served you and your life the way you’d hoped, but that may feel “comfortable” or that you may be addicted to.

Ask for what you need or want, as you are meant to do. Use your emotions and words to soothe or keep doubt out of the picture. Know and allow that there is a bigger picture happening that you are a part of. Allow trust and appreciation to be your purest emotional charges and feelings. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.    

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

The Greatest Challenge of Enlightenment?

Enlightenment can be challenging; at least, that’s been my experience at times—mostly because of what we have to let go of in order to let it in. But, is there a particular challenge to be aware of? Let’s see.

There’s a passage in the Bible that says what the result of planting a seed of faith is has all to do with where the seed is planted and whether or not it takes root. Think of all the things we’ve been told that matter when it comes to manifestation and Law of Attraction, things that make it work and what might prevent it from working. I believe there’s something at the heart of this, or in this case, at the root: I believe it starts with the seed.

You may plant the seed of trust, faith, or belief in Truth—and this may show itself as a seedling above ground; but until it takes root in your very being, the first wind (challenge, trial, or tribulation) that comes up may up-root it. Also, many of us grew up in an environment that’s more like a seed planted among thorny bushes, in the soil of worry, fearfulness, and struggle. This is why worry, fearfulness, and negative thinking seem to run in our veins; and we may even feel we can’t get rid of them, despite our efforts to think and act the opposite. We’re confused about what to do to shift this. This leads me to . . .

The passage that states those who have will be given more; and those with less will have more taken away, which makes sense when you think of it in terms of trust in the Truth. If you start with even a small amount of genuine trust—not lip-service to it, you’ll be given even more reasons to trust. You’ll receive personal evidence that demonstrates that your trust in Truth works; and your trust (rooted in the good soil of receptivity) will grow even stronger. Those with little or no trust in the Truth receive personal evidence of what is in their hearts and minds: fear, lack, worry, and so forth. They’ll experience more reasons not to trust—until they renew their thoughts based in Truth, that is, plant a better seed in better soil.

This doesn’t mean the person who trusts never has “trials and tribulations,” it means they don’t have the same after-the-fact thoughts a person who doesn’t trust or trusts little has. It’s like the quote Shakespeare wrote in Julius Caesar that’s been revised to something like, “A coward dies a thousand deaths, a courageous man but one.” Those who are rooted in trust may have an initial shock when something happens, and react to it; but that person then turns to trust in Truth to remain strong, while they trust the purpose and outcome, as well, despite temporary appearances.

Those with little or no trust at their roots “die many deaths,” because of the numerous “why me” conversations and negative “possibilities” they envision, along with the great number of negative, fearful comments they make to themselves and others.

Please understand that there is a difference between an initial, understandable emotional reaction to something that happens that may even require healing time vs. choosing to wallow in emotions that make our reaction to a situation worse—through our thoughts about it—when we can choose to follow a path that helps us learn something about ourselves then rise above what happened and move forward.

One prominent example of shaky or thorny “seeding” is through The Great Detractor—the seed of money fears planted in us. We, indeed, cannot serve two masters: Spiritual expansion through trust in Truth and money fears; though, it’s the same for any fear we carry in our thoughts such as self-worth, among others. The twist to this is that if you chase money or allow it to be a demanding master and you its slave, especially with fear and worry attached to that pursuit, money AND spiritual expansion will elude you.

I use spiritual expansion here, but really it’s about the thought seed. Someone not especially spiritual or spiritual at all may have a healthy thought seed about money, so never experiences money as a real issue or doesn’t experience a temporary money issue the same way someone with a fearful money seed does. It’s the same for self-worth, self-confidence, and so on. Their personal truth is different, so their experiences and results are, as well.

This is a lot of chat about Truth. What is it? You know it when you feel it. It’s consistent. It lets you find serenity, even in a storm, because it’s shown you before that you can trust it, that you can always trust it. It lifts you out of ego and into greater awareness about a particular matter. Discovery of the Truth is the most personal journey you’ll ever take; and clues have been left for you over thousands of years. Even if you study with a master, no one can make this journey for you.

The greatest challenge of enlightenment may very well be the foundation of trust in the Truth—the strength of the root structure that takes hold in the “soil” of your self—that supports everything that comes after you plant the seed. I still experience trust lapses at times; but as soon as I remember what I know, what I’ve learned, and return to trust, how I experience a situation that arises shifts. It took a while for me to realize my inner shift was even more important than any outer one.

One way to put this into practice is to recall a time when you did trust, when you replaced fear with trust in Truth, let’s say in the Universe, God, or whatever word you use. Recall how letting go of all the negative mind chatter that served only to stir up negative emotions, left you feeling more at one with yourself instead of fragmented. Hold that feeling. Step into it. Memorize it and call it up when you need to. If you say this has never been your experience, you may choose to consider if you’d like it to be.

It’s easy, and understandable, to think a method is “the thing” when it comes to not only getting desired results, but also in how we feel about ourselves and life overall. And our pursuit of numerous methods is like planting many seeds and hoping for better results than the others we’ve planted. But, until we plant the seed that produces the fruit we desire, and plant it in receptive soil that we consistently nurture, we’ll continue to try to figure out how to get apples from a pear tree or why our apple tree won’t grow in the desert.

Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer

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Joyce Shafer is a Life Coach, Author, and provider of Love Who You Really Are, Go for What You Really Want—an 8-week life-changing online coaching course that lets the real you come out and play (you know you want to!), and publisher of State of Appreciation, a free weekly online newsletter that blends practical & spiritual approaches to enhance personal power and self-realization through articles, and free downloads, when you subscribe at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com