What Fears Are You Willing to Let Go Of?

It’s a new year. Do you really want to carry all the same fears you had in the last year into this one? Which ones can you let go of that you will let go of?

There’s nothing like getting ready to write an article like this one then having to live its message before you write the first word. Talk about making sure you don’t wax profoundly (one hopes), as though immune or above it all. That’s exactly what happened to me when something I relied on had a significant delay that affected me in a number of ways. You can bet my fears went into overdrive. And right in front of me, which I conveniently, repeatedly ignored, was a sheet of paper with the words that came to me late at night several weeks back: Fear is never the path to walk. Yep. And as many of us know, that is sometimes easier said than done.

While this article simmered on the back burner over the holidays, a quote from Abraham Lincoln, one familiar to most of us, made me look at this topic of fear a bit differently: “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” That’s exactly what fear does—it divides us, in some way, within ourselves, and we feel our world or some part of it is crumbling or at least trembling precariously in some measure. We don’t, and life doesn’t, feel stable at such times.

Fear divides us in global and local ways, but I want to focus on the personal ways it does this to us. When we’re afraid, it’s pretty darn difficult to feel whole, empowered, in flow—connected to all the good in the Universe. It’s difficult, if not impossible—depending on the circumstance—to remember that We Never Walk Alone. Source is always with us. Our Spirit self is always with us. But when our fearful emotions have us in upheaval, this Truth is not something we tend to remember, at least, not right away. It may take awhile. And in the meantime, we feel divided within ourselves and likely feel divided with one or more aspects of our physical, material, and even spiritual life.

Ernest Holmes wrote in The Science of Mind: “To hold one’s thought steadfastly to the constructive, to that which endures, and to the Truth, may not be easy in a rapidly changing world, but to the one who makes the attempt much is guaranteed.” This also applies to a rapidly changing life, but I like that Holmes doesn’t say to the one who does it perfectly, but instead says attempts.

Ultimately, experiences that rattle us demonstrate how much we’ve integrated spiritual realizations, or haven’t as yet, as well as what we still practice that’s opposite of Truth. But what Holmes said is what it’s about, isn’t it—making the effort just as soon as we remember to do this. Our efforts demonstrate intention and commitment to us and to the Universe, and this DOES matter and count in our favor.

What Truths do you absolutely hold steadfast to belief-wise, but still get rattled about when something doesn’t go the way you believe it should or you wish it would—and you find yourself in a state of fear? It’s a good idea to take a moment and write down a few of them. Look at the fears you practice—the “common” ones that make you feel god-awful when you feel them, even though you absolutely believe something else. The fears you’ve been trying to overcome for such a long time. What Truths do they conflict with? What are the fears really about?

Ernest Holmes said something that relates to this: “In the Subjective Mind of man, we find a law obeying his word, the servant of his spirit. Suggestion has proved that the subconscious mind acts upon our thoughts. It is the mental law of our being, and the creative factor within us…. It is enough to say that within us is a mental law, working out the will and purposes of our conscious thoughts…. And what we call our subjective mind is really the use we are making of the One Law… And each is drawing from Life what he thinks into It! To learn how to think is to learn how to live…” (Bolding is mine.)

What this means is something most of us already know: It doesn’t matter what we say we think; what matters is what we really feel and what this feeling leads us to practice, especially subconsciously. What we really feel lives in the subjective, subconscious part of our mind. It’s the undercurrent that moves beneath our conscious thoughts.

For example, you may say that in this new year you’re going to step into your greatness. But if your subjective (subconscious) thought—your personal use of mental law—conflicts with this in any way, you’ll deal with the same fears you’ve always dealt with. (This is to get your attention so that you find a way to free yourself from these thoughts.) For this example or any other, you have to ask yourself some good questions that lead you to your right answers—answers that will allow you to shift your subjective thoughts about whatever has you tied in knots so you loosen or free yourself from that particular tether. However, it’s important to remember that this applies to our personal spiritual path. We cannot intrude on another’s spiritual path, as much as we’d like to—as much as we’d like to ease the fears and pain we sometimes feel as a result of being a witness to their path.

Just a bit more from Holmes about this, because it’s important to keep in mind: “…we all use the creative power of the Universal Mind every time we use our own mind…. The conscious mind is superior to the subjective and may consciously use it…. The conscious mind is Spirit, the subjective mind is Law.” We CAN consciously do what it takes to override opposing beliefs stored in the subjective mind, until the new beliefs about Truth replace the old. In this way, we train ourselves to a new, improved practice. (Bolding is mine.)

Whatever you say you believe but don’t as yet practice as a Truth is something you want to look at, something you want to shift so you don’t carry all of the same old fears with you into this new year. You can pay attention to how some of those fears you’ve carried for years divide you in your inner “house” so you can make a conscious choice about what to do with them. Please note: I’m not talking about the fears that help keep you alive; I’m talking about the fears that keep you from living a fulfilling life. This is a very personal journey each of us must make for ourselves. And… It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

What Does Being In Flow Really Mean?

“Get into the flow” has been a catchy phrase for several decades. We think we know what it means: good stuff happens, right? Is that all it’s about?

If you’ve ever been aware that you were in flow, you know how good that feels. We’re actually always in the flow, but the fact is we don’t always feel it or, rather, we’re not always aware of it. The “flow” is a stream of consciousness and energy that is always in motion, always evolving. It’s the All That Is that we are part of. We’re in the stream at all times, but it can feel as though we aren’t. Why is that? Since we’re always in the stream, we can only feel or believe that we aren’t, which means any perceived separation from the stream is just that: a perception, not a Truth. So, to be in flow is often, but not always, a conscious choice, and to be out of flow is always a subconscious choice (who would consciously choose to be out of the flow?). Whichever our choice, it then becomes our state of being and an experience.

I was contemplating what it means to be in flow and these words came to me: “You have to trust, to be in flow; and to be in flow, you have to trust.” The words clarified the process I’ve experienced: Each requires and results in the other. When you trust Source to act in your behalf and trust that all your needs are always and in all ways met, you’re in flow. When you’re in flow, you trust that Source always and in all ways meets your needs and acts in your behalf. And that trust leads you to feel serene, open, and receptive. But, of course, there’s more to this—there always is.

There are aspects of being in flow. One aspect is non-resistance to what-is. This doesn’t mean you have to like or “want” what-is; you just have to release your resistance about it. This includes anger, frustration, self-doubt, and trying to force your will on others and or the situation. Non-resistance does not mean you allow improper behavior or abuse or don’t do what you need to do to affect improvement. Non-resistance means that rather than wallowing in negativity, you find a way to get your awareness back in alignment with trust in Source, which puts you back into the flow so that right solutions come to you and or happen for you. Again, there is more to understand about this, which I’ll get to. Just know that release of resistance is a key that opens a door to a magical realm within you and in your life.

During one of my morning meditations, I looked at something I’d been saying: “It is Truth that my abundance, prosperity, and well-being are always and in all ways supplied by Source.” A realization caused me to adjust that statement to “It is Truth that my abundance, prosperity, and well-being are Source.” Many of us, despite what we know or practice, still tend to perceive Source as something separate from us, and that our abundance, prosperity, and well-being are also separate from us. But, this is not so. There is only Source. Everything in existence is Source. We are individualized expressions of Source. Just as we are always in the stream, everything and everyone we interact with is Source, which includes us. This is something to wrap your mind and understanding around. It may take a while.

Maybe you know how to get yourself—your awareness—into the flow and maybe you don’t. Maybe you’d like some tips on how to do this quicker and easier. There are some things to consider about this first, because the things to consider are also tips.

For example, what about when you ask or pray for something? Do you feel in flow at such times, or do you feel outside of it? One way to get into flow at such times is to understand that the ultimate prayer or request and the ultimate answer are the same, or should be—if you truly desire to be in flow: “Thank you for always and in all ways acting in and for my highest good and the highest good of all involved, and always in right timing.” For you to be fully on board with this and trust it, as your own practice, there’s something you need to understand: sometimes the answer may feel like it’s anything but the answer, until the moment you realize it is.

One personal example is this: I had a serious, debilitating experience going on for me and nothing I tried worked to shift it. After struggling with this for a Very Long Time, I finally realized I was addressing the situation through resistance, even though I believed I was trying to be constructive and productive in my attempts to affect a solution or resolution, also known as trying to control everything and everyone involved so I could feel better. So I said, “Source, I’m leaving my ego’s need to fix this the way it wants it fixed out of this and I’m turning this matter over to you, because, frankly, I don’t know what the hell to do about it. I trust you to act in and for my highest good and the highest good of all involved.” And, I meant it. I was flat-out frustrated, and I knew frustration was not the path that would get me where I wanted to be.

Well, a lot of shift had to hit the fan first. And, yes, there were many moments (days during a several-month period) when I was anything but serene. Then something happened: What was needed showed up, or, rather, unfolded, in its right timing. I soon realized how everything that had happened had been necessary, and how utterly brilliant it all was. There was no way I could ever have accomplished the inner and outer outcome on my own, and I really mean that. The design plan was flawless. Only a consciousness that had all the information could accomplish that outcome. What was needed was provided, even if it felt at times like I was in hell or at least purgatory while getting there. 

I realize that not everyone thinks about these things the same way I do. For some, they perceive only what they see and never go deeper. I see beyond what appears evident (eventually, and because I look for it because I KNOW it’s there): I see the cosmic tapestry where all the threads contribute to the bigger picture, if you will. And sometimes what I perceive about events could or would make some people feel uncomfortable or even angry and absolutely ready to dispute my interpretation.

An example of this is a friend who had to say goodbye to her elderly, failing, beloved dog. That’s a heartache that only someone who’s been there can empathize with. About a year later, she and her husband had their first child, and the child, it turned out, was allergic to dogs. As painful as losing her dog had been, imagine the heartache that would have happened had she been forced to face the situation that could have arisen. Every living thing has its time and purpose. And, there is a higher-level communication between all things that is going on at all times that we are not consciously aware of, until we see the evidence of it, if we use our “eyes” to see it with. This kind of awareness is another form of being in flow, as are moments of intuition.

Another form of being in the flow is to realize the truth that “No man is an island.” Just as we often perceive Source and our good, our resources, as outside of us, we can also perceive ourselves and our resources as separate from others. The no-separation Truth ties in with another statement I make during my morning meditation: “Thank you for my ongoing unlimited increase in Mind, Wisdom, Mindfulness, Intuition, Serenity, Money, Energy, Creativity, Spiritual Realization, Well-Being, and (something private to me that also serves others as well as me).”

Each of the aspects I listed are obviously good things to have and experience, and perhaps you can see why anyone would want them to be part of their being and life. But one morning, the realization came to me that not only do these things serve and benefit me, but that they also allow me to serve and benefit others in ways appropriate for them and for me—and are meant to do so. No man is an island—ever—except in his own mind and or heart.

Suddenly, my statement had an entirely new texture and I had an entirely new understanding and feeling (realization) within me. To be in flow means we have to realize that it’s not a one-way street that flows into our life and stops there. This may seem obvious, but is it really integrated as your understanding and way of thinking, feeling, and being? Whatever we desire or need and receive and have is meant to flow to us, for us, and through us in some way, at some time, and in some measure. That awareness, that consciousness, that realization is another form of being in flow.

If you’ve had any level of struggle in your life, it’s possible that your primary focus has been on receiving; and you may have felt that as soon as you have extra to give or share, you’ll give or share it. Apply my list to this, as though it were your own, and see what comes up for you. Here’s the list again: ongoing unlimited increase in Mind, Wisdom, Mindfulness, Intuition, Serenity, Money, Energy, Creativity, Spiritual Realization, and Well-Being. Can you feel the benefit to you and to others, if these are your experiences? Can you perceive how life is richer for all involved when they overlap?

In times of struggle, appreciation is definitely a form of putting yourself back into the flow. Say money is a bit tight, but there are things you need to take care of that require money. Maybe a lump sum shows up for you or maybe various amounts show up at different times, and what you experience is each need being able to be met at the right time—maybe not ahead of time, as your ego aspect would prefer, but in the right timing. Any moment when you can genuinely appreciate how this is working out for you is a moment that puts you—through your awareness—back into the flow.

Being in the flow, where you receive what it is you desire and need is wonderful. But being in the flow where you understand the greater give-and-receive loop that feels so good is even better. It’s a higher level of being in flow. When we practice being in the flow, we truly do not have to seek what we need and want, it comes to us in expected, unexpected, and wonderful ways, and often with a promptness that is astonishing, as Dr. Ernest C. Wilson stated. It’s the ultimate way to work smarter, not harder. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

The Simple Meaning of True Magic

When we get Law of Attraction to work the way we prefer, it feels like true magic, doesn’t it? Here’s something that puts what really makes it work, what our true magic is, into practical perspective.

Trying to figure out how to make Law of Attraction work for us, in our favor that is (it is always working), and feel confident about our skills is something a lot of people focus on, and often. I had a dream where five critters had been presented to me in a certain way, to get my attention. At first I had no idea what it meant, until I thought about the critters and realized they were represented in some material I have: Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams and David Carson. So I picked up the book and read about each critter. Then I found it—a phrase that said it in a nutshell: “. . . magic is no more than a change in consciousness.” If you know anything at all about metaphysics and Law of Attraction—and even if you just think of magic tricks, you recognize or realize that the statement is absolutely, undeniably correct. Similar statements have been made by many others, but sometimes it’s a matter of reading or hearing the right one for you, at the right time.

This connects to something else I read just a few days before I looked at the medicine cards. I was cleaning out a chest of drawers, getting rid of stuff I no longer needed to keep, when I came across one of my TUT messages from 2008 (TUT is a site where you can sign up to receive clever, uplifting daily notes from The Universe, aka Mike Dooley). This was the message:

“Tell me, when you think of taking consistent action in the general direction of your dreams, (your name), do you imagine discipline, stamina, work, sacrifice, monotony, courage, and strategies, or are you thinking adventure, discovery, new friends, excitement at the crack of dawn, magic, surprises, fun, laughter, and, on occasion, the Macarena? P.S. Your chosen perspective changes everything.”

Wow! Read that every morning, before you start your activities for the day and before you start any and every project—or anything you’re going to do (and maybe every night), and how do you imagine you might feel and perform? What and who do you think you’ll attract to you? Which version do you usually choose? Which version would you prefer to choose? Yeah, I prefer to choose the fun version, as well. Okay, there will be times when you read that message, if you choose to practice this, and you’re aware that your energy is a little lower than you’d like. This tells you that your thoughts about conditions are influencing you. I say more about conditions in a moment.

When we practice the first version in that message, we suppress the true magic that is innate in us, which means we block it from ourselves and our lives. Then we likely do all manner of machinations to try to find a way to put the magic back in, while we continue practices that don’t and will never allow the magic to perform for us as it’s designed to. We are the spiritual magicians in our lives; all we need to do to experience the magic—our magic—is to shift our consciousness so that the innate magic can work for us. Easier said than done, you say? Is that a fact? Only if we decide it is. Yes, you may have to apply yourself to this, but practice makes progress.

Why do we struggle with shifting our consciousness? Because the mindset we’ve operated with for so long is a habit and who the heck likes to shift a habit? This would mean we’d have to work at it. We want it to be easy, to just happen (and happen immediately); plus, we don’t like the word “work.” This would mean we’d have to really see ourselves—our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions that we often let control us and sabotage us and our lives—then do something about them, for crikey’s sake! It might really annoy us to see how often we practice anti-magic thoughts, feelings, words, and actions, and who the heck wants to admit they’re ever wrong, or worse—doing it to themselves? And, this would mean we might not enjoy the process, and who wants to do more of what they won’t enjoy (but this is true only until the moment you begin to experience desired results, of course, then, you’re in, even if it takes a while for you to really jump in with full commitment and enthusiasm).

Ernest Holmes wrote in The Science of Mind, “To rise above the contemplation of conditions is to enter that field of Causation which makes all things new in our experience.” If we look at the TUT message again, we see how when we practice the first part of that message, we do so because we are focused on conditions. If we practice the second part, we rise above conditions via our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. And this will cause conditions to shift and improve or, at the very least, will improve our perceptions, which can lead to serenity, even when life feels stormy. We gain new, preferred experiences rather than repeat old, worn-out ones because of what we practice, as well as, likely, gain deeper understanding.

To paraphrase and add to something else Holmes wrote, all our experiences represent the different phases of our beliefs, which means we can give ourselves over to the Truth and the good magic as easily as any other belief, if we are confident in and or one with our spiritual realization of Truth. Why we may not find this as simple as we’d like ties in with what I said about why we struggle when it comes to shifting our consciousness. To realize our responsibility makes us uneasy. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes…and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.” Another relevant quote comes from Ralph Marston: “Concern yourself more with accepting responsibility than assigning blame. Let the possibilities inspire you more than the obstacles discourage you.”

Then we have to face another fact: All of this is not about our thoughts alone, but about the feelings we have underneath our thoughts. This is why you can affirm or practice something out the yin-yang, but until you find a way to believe what you’re saying and thinking—to find some measure of Truth in your statement that you align with and feel as truth, you’re basically spinning your wheels. Never confuse activity with productivity. This includes mental activity, especially mental activity.

We struggle with the fact that the Law of Attraction is subjective. Holmes explained it this way: The chief characteristic of the subjective Law is that It is sensitive, creative and can reason only from a deductive viewpoint. Being the very essence of sensitiveness It is compelled to receive the slightest impression of thought; being creative, It is compelled to act upon this thought; and being deductive, It cannot argue back or deny any use of It that may be made.

It isn’t that once you reconnect with your magic everything will be perfect and life will be challenge-free. In fact, to have that idea or belief is just another way to focus on conditions we don’t prefer. Challenges assist us to focus on possibilities and to hone our magic skills, if you will. And we can use our magic to buffer the effects of challenges that show up as we strive to deepen our understanding of ourselves and of how the magic works for us. What we can also understand is that a challenge may lead us to initially feel like the first part in the TUT message, until we adjust our consciousness to one that supports the second, possibility-driven version.

We make tremendous strides the moment we realize we don’t acquire our magic; we awaken to the fact that it is already there, and then we apply it to the physical universe around us with more conscious awareness than subconscious default practices, practices you can change through your conscious choices and practices. This is when we rise above group consciousness that may be influencing us and instead express our lives in an individualized way, in a strengthened, trust-in-Source-and-ourselves way. When we do this, we realize the Truth that our magic IS no more than a change in consciousness. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.                   

          

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

Do You Ever Feel Restricted or Limited?

How easy is it, really, for you to manage your thoughts when negativity sneaks up on you and bites you on the bum? Maybe this will help.

You’re going along just fine then wham! Something or someone throws you off kilter, and you feel restricted in some way. This feeling of restriction causes some level of fear to pop up—even anger is fear-based—and suddenly you feel as though you’re treading water, perhaps in a storm, especially emotion-wise. Not a good feeling. And if you usually do any inner work at all, you then tend to go into self-judgment: “I know better; so why don’t I do better?” That restricted feeling that surfaced as a result of the event seems to double, because you’re now dealing with two issues, not just one.

Ernest Holmes wrote this in his book, The Science of Mind: A sense of separation from good causes us to feel restricted; while a sense of our Unity with GOOD changes the currents of Causation and brings a happier condition into the experience. Everything in the physical universe is an effect, and exists only by virtue of some invisible cause. Man’s individuality enables him to make such use of the Law as he desires. He is bound, not by limitation but by limited thought. The same power which binds him will free him when he understands the Law to be one of liberty and not of bondage. The power within man can free him from all distasteful conditions if the Law governing this power is properly understood and utilized.

What we attract, whether it’s welcomed, not welcomed, or a period of what seems like stagnation, is a result of limited or restricted thinking—our mental attitudes, which can either connect or disconnect us from feeling and trusting our unity with Good and therefore Source, as well as what we are actually capable of. Since these thoughts and attitudes are a result of a mental process, we’re the only ones who can shift them in our favor.

Holmes stated that “The conscious thought controls the subconscious and, in its turn, the subconscious controls conditions.” Law of Attraction always works according to our subconscious thoughts, and our subconscious thoughts can be shifted with our conscious thoughts. “We plant the seed and the Law produces the plant.” Our thoughts are always at work for us, showing us our personal cause-and-effect power. Easy to know; easy to forget; easy to feel “Say it isn’t so.”

Why do we bind ourselves and our lives with limited thought? We know we do this, we know what to do about it; so why is it such a challenge to shift this in our favor? This is a challenge because we learned, by example and or statements during childhood, things like “We don’t have enough money because someone or something outside (or even inside) the family unit prevents this.” This limited thought process is not restricted to money; it can include education, health, common sense, endurance, success, confidence, and so on, which tends to always reflect effects via money in the long run, because society has promoted the belief that money is the way we and our worth or worthiness are to be graded. We practice this, without realizing what we’re doing. And, we make it worse by comparing ourselves and our lives to others and letting others tell us what makes us and our lives a success and or worthy. Bah! Humbug!

Holmes wrote, “There is One Infinite Law; and every time man thinks, he sets this Law in motion. . . . There is One Limitless Life, which returns to the thinker exactly what he thinks into It.” We are always thinking something into motion and possibly into our experience of it. The only way to use this in our favor is to seek and reveal and remind ourselves about the Truth of how Source set up the Universe, the Law of Attraction, to work and then put it into practice, especially when we feel challenged. Easy to say, isn’t it; not so easy to remember to practice.

I ride the same roller coaster many of you do. I feel good, in the flow, and then something makes my ego-aspect quake a little or a lot, and I’m into that treading-water feeling. And, yes, reminding myself of the Truth does get me back into balance and flow, but only after I do something specific: Calm myself down, request then trust that my highest good is always and in all ways provided, and then LET IT GO. What I let go of is the frantic, panicky energy my ego-aspect unleashes and the backward thinking process that goes with that.

There are times when you just have to push pause and catch your breath, when you just must stop all the thinking that takes you nowhere but in circles that wear a rut into the ground beneath you. Letting go feels completely counterintuitive, yet it’s the only thing that has ever truly shifted the energy, experiences, and results for me at such times, and or led me to right action. Initially, it freaks me out somewhat, but I just remind myself of all the times I did this and the positive shift this dynamic created—and fast, not to mention how good it felt to let go and be serene instead of stressed. This method is not for the timid. Most of us were taught to emulate Chicken Little. However, you might not recognize how strong you really are and the Truth of your unity with Source, until you take this route.

The fact of the matter, of life, is this: Stuff is going to happen, shift is going to happen. We’re not here to experience a life with no challenges or changes. There isn’t one animate or inanimate thing on Earth that does not experience challenges and change. Ultimately, it’s not about the challenges, it’s about how we manage ourselves in relation to them. That saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” is a good one to keep in mind. Big stuff shows up at times for all of us, but how we react to stuff can cause us to act as though even the small stuff is big stuff. We wear ourselves out. We practice the wrong things; and when stuff happens, we go into default behaviors, because that’s what we practice more often.

In Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, The Signature of All Things, the main character reaches a point in her life and her mental attitude where certain truths about mosses become apparent to her, and she sees how these truths relate to people as well. The character writes that mosses endure challenging times through a process of adaptive change. What’s the first thing most of us do when faced with a challenge or change? We resist, rather than adapt; though, if we’re to survive challenges, we eventually have to adapt in some way. You wouldn’t be where you are today, if you hadn’t done this with a measure of success throughout your life. Please take a moment to appreciate this fact.

The character also writes the following, and you can see how it relates to us: That moss was almost certainly a different entity before it was moss; that moss—as the world continues to transform—may itself eventually become a different entity; that whatever is true for mosses must be true for all living things. The strong find a way to survive and the weak retreat and give up. I’ll bet you’re a lot stronger than you ever imagined or allowed yourself to imagine. 

Train yourself to shift restrictive thoughts to ones based in Truth, truth about how the Universe and the Law of Attraction, the Law of the Universe, works. Do this so you allow the Truth of your personal power to inspire you into strength and right-for-you actions and solutions. Celebrate your strength and ability to adapt. The Truth truly does set you free. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.                  

          

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

What Is Your Mental Atmosphere?

Why do the same types of events or same types of people—ones we don’t want to experience—keep turning up in our lives? We work on ourselves, we know about Law of Attraction; so, what the bleep is going on?

That’s a big topic, of course, but we need to start somewhere: We’ll start with mental atmosphere. Ernest Holmes, in his book, The Science of Mind, says this: “Each person has a mental atmosphere which is the result of all that he has thought, said and done, and consciously or unconsciously perceived. The mental atmosphere is very real, and is that subtle influence which constitutes the power of personal attraction, for personal attraction has but little to do with looks. . . . No matter what the lips may be saying, the inner thought outspeaks them, and the unspoken word often carries more weight than the spoken.” Yep. It’s what’s under the “ground” that influences what’s above the “ground.”

My thoughts about why we get the repeats we get is that we have unresolved (to our satisfaction) issues. Let’s say there’s someone in your life you feel did wrong by you or to you, in whatever measure and over however long a time, but you either know you will never tell them off or get back at them the way your ego would like you to or you can’t (they’re somewhere unknown to you or in some state of being where you can’t reach them, or are deceased). In this type of situation, your ego-aspect is going to feel unfulfilled. And it’s going to nag the hell out of you. Only, ego doesn’t nag you about what you should be doing at the inner level and what your lesson is for your personal evolution, but about what “they,” those you’re upset with, should be doing that makes them take responsibility and, perhaps, even make amends. Talk about your hamster-wheel experience.

Water seeks its own level; so does energy, including and especially your energy. Your energy is your signal that you send out, the signal that gets matched. It’s the program language that shows up on your life screen. If you have an unresolved issue with someone or with a particular event—which actually means there is something within you that is still unresolved, you’ll continue to draw people and circumstances to you, to give yourself yet another opportunity to figure out what to do or choose how you will deal with it. But, of course, there’s more to this than meets the eye.

Which is your predominant mental atmosphere based on or in: Ego or spirit? Are you sure? Your ego-aspect sends out signals, like a duck call that attracts ducks to you, while your spirit-aspect subtly nudges you to take care of matters in the highest possible way—ultimately, for you and how you feel about yourself and life. The tricky part is that the ego-aspect thinks it’s all about the other person, people, or event, and what you need to say or do to put them right or in their place. Sometimes, that is necessary because you’re actually helping another with their evolution by doing this, as well as your own evolution (e.g., people who allow themselves to be doormats finally get kicked in the proverbial or actual butt enough by others and life to speak up and stand up for themselves and learn how to make better, more conscious choices in their best behalf—that’s real progress, isn’t it?). Your spirit-aspect knows that it’s always and in all ways primarily about you. You are who and what needs to be healed and re-Minded, and only you can determine what that will entail.

This is not a judgment, because goodness knows I have my moments, but you can watch people who talk the talk but don’t really walk the walk, even though they think they do. Now, granted, every one of us has the right to feel what we feel and to even react when something comes out of the blue and metaphorically (or literally) slaps us. Those not-good feelings we have at such times are to be expected, allowed, and paid attention to.

If you believe you’re supposed to be so evolved that you maintain your cool no matter what happens at the moment it happens, and even afterwards, well, how’s that working for you so far? How realistic is it, really? We’re not here to be emotionless; we’re here to feel emotions. Emotions guide and teach us, if we let them, as we’re meant to. But we’re also here to figure out how to manage emotions and how to use them for personal growth, rather than allow them to manage us and thwart or cause our personal growth to stagnate.

Proficient and efficient management of emotions is an ideal to work toward, but don’t burden yourself with the heavy expectation of perfection. It’s more important that after you freak out a little or a lot, you use your inner tools to regain your inner balance so that the way you deal with whatever is going on is done so with personal integrity and head-and-heart alignment. If you err, forgive yourself. This means you assess what didn’t feel good at the inner level and figure out why it didn’t feel good, and how to improve what you think, feel, say, and do the next time and how you handle yourself from this moment on. And there’s likely to be a next time, based on what Holmes’ said about mental atmosphere, until you figure out some stuff about you. Then, even if a next time happens, you will feel about it and handle it differently, because you’ve evolved a bit or a lot.

If you’re not attracting the quality people and events and circumstances you really want, look within, rather than outside of you. Get your mental dipstick out and check the level of your energy. What kinds of thoughts and feelings do you predominantly have each and every day? That’s your mental atmosphere. What you put into the field is what you get out of the field.

What happens is not random, even though we sometimes or often would like to believe that. Your experiences are for your personal evolution; and here’s the really freaky part: they are designed or agreed to by you. That can be icky, but it’s true. And when you grasp this, you’ll have stepped into the realm of higher spiritual understanding, which may be uncomfortable at first but gets easier and far more rewarding as you progress.

And no matter how much your ego-aspect wants to put responsibility for your mental atmosphere on someone else, for whatever reason, that’s just not the way it works. That’s not the way to get desired experiences and results—at the inner and outer levels, or to feel about you and life the way you really want to.

Will you choose an ego-based or spirit-based mental atmosphere? One keeps you a prisoner of your own making; the other sets you free. Freedom at the inner and outer level: It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.                     

          

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

What’s in Your Memory Bank Account?

Those darn negative thoughts that just won’t go away, no matter how much inner work you do, are just plain annoying. What’s up with that?

Best-selling author Barbara Berger (with Tim Ray) wrote in her book, The Awakening Human Being: A Guide to the Power of Mind, about the Law of Thoughts Arising. Right off, she’s given you a big clue: It’s a universal law that thoughts will arise. “Thoughts arise and disappear. This is the first law because it describes an impersonal universal phenomenon which is true for everyone. No one knows why or where thoughts come from or what a thought is, but everyone has thoughts. This is the nature of life on this plane.”

Berger goes on to explain that when thoughts arise, it isn’t because we’re doing anything wrong; thoughts come and go on their own. Isn’t that the truth! Have you ever had a song or theme music start playing in your mind for, apparently, no reason? Where did the trigger thought for that music come from, why did it happen, and why that song or tune? And, how long does it take for you to get that recording to stop playing over and over in your mind?

Part of my daily morning practice includes reading the day’s message from Ernest Holmes’ book, The Science of Mind. I’d already decided what my article would be about this week, but was pleased to receive support through this reading. Holmes stated that everything that has ever happened or will happen leaves an imprint on “the walls of time; and could we walk down their corridors and read the writings,” we’d read the history. He likened this to how we can record voices and images, store them away safely, and revisit them, even decades later and still hear or view them. Well, this is exactly what we do: walk the corridors of our memories. And it’s not just our personal history involved; it’s also our physical, mental, and emotional genetic history.

That’s what those pesky negative thoughts are about: Our feelings and mental images, based on our perspectives and interpretations, imprint on our memory cells, like pages printed for books on shelves or paintings created and hung on the walls. Plus, there are genetic imprints on our cells as well. A thought arises and the next thing we know, we’re traveling down the corridors of our personal hall of records.

A negative-thought replay was going on for me, and this new thought came to me: Pebbles, Stones, Rocks, Boulders. I carry a lot of positive memories, which I do choose to replay from time to time. But isn’t it interesting that positive replays tend to occur more when we deliberately seek them out, rather than arise spontaneously. Negative-thought replays seem to arise far more spontaneously, but maybe that’s not really true. Maybe we have them closer to the surface than we realize. Maybe our practice is to go down negative-thought corridors, and we don’t realize this is our practice. It happens so fast, who has time to notice why it’s happening? And, after all, it’s what most people do, isn’t it? We call it being logical, or say it’s justified. We’ve made this practice almost a law, by virtue of so many of us doing it so regularly, as though it’s the only way to go.

I spoke with someone who’s trying to resolve a particular situation. The next steps are obvious, and we discussed them. Yet, every step discussed was met with a comment from the person about why it can’t be done or what’s impossible. I finally said, “Maybe you need to stop pulling up all the negatives you can imagine. You need to make a decision. The first decision is to get more information, because you’re deciding what can’t be done rather than discovering what can be done.” She agreed that was what she was doing. If all you focus on is what can’t be done, how or when the heck will you focus on what might or can be done? Which one will get you to an improved and preferred circumstance first?

Our memories are like bank accounts. You’ll find highs and lows there; and where you are with them fluctuates—because thoughts arise. But you can deliberately create more positives that get imprinted and stored in your memory bank account. You can also deliberately—or by default—continue to subtract from it by focusing on negatives. That’s what my Pebbles, Stones, Rocks, Boulders thought brought to my attention. I thought about how sometimes we get a pebble in our shoe. Maybe we stop and take it out; maybe we keep walking on it, complaining the whole time to ourselves or someone else.

Stones, rocks, and boulders, of course, won’t fit into our shoe; and if they did, we’d certainly stop and get them out right away. But when they are thoughts, which are already memories or become memories as we think them, we’ll put them into our shoe ourselves, repeatedly. When such thoughts come up, I’ve started saying to myself, “Pebbles, stones, rocks, boulders.”

I don’t need to figure out which category my negative thought fits into; that’s just walking the same path with something in my shoe that doesn’t benefit me. Saying those four words gets my attention on what I’m doing to myself—and that I can stop doing it. I can treat even the bigger ones like pebbles and remove them from my shoe then get on with creating something positive and feeling appreciation for the good stuff and people in my life, as well as the positive possibilities.

Thoughts arise. You maybe can’t break or change the law of this, but you can decide what to do from there. You can decide whether you’ll visit your memory bank account and count your negatives or your positives, as well as decide which one you’ll put more of into your account. What you put in and what you take out of your memory account is always up to you, and will reflect the inner life you experience, which then influences the outer life you live. You can choose to make your memory bank account work against you or for you. Choose for you. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.                    

          

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

What to Do When Affirmations Don’t Cut It

Sometimes affirmations seem like the best thing to do, and then they don’t. Nor do they always quiet that annoying negative voice in the mind; but there’s something that does.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get really excited about one or more new affirmations. This is usually when my energy connection to Source hasn’t been supported by me as fully as it might have been and I’m feeling low or skittish or truly out of balance. I’ll work with the affirmations that make me feel better—for a while—then I notice I begin to alter the wording. This is natural and should be expected: we all start somewhere then progress from there, so of course the wording that worked at the beginning may need to be adjusted as we move forward and evolve.

However, I may also reach the point where doing the affirmations may start to feel as though I’m trying to convince myself they’re true in my life, or that I’m asking Source for what the affirmation affirms and that my asking is tinged with worry and doubt. Energetic hiccups happen when I attempt to say an affirmation I don’t absolutely resonate with or believe as 100% true in my own regard; not in regard to Source, of course.

I recently felt such awareness regarding the affirmations I was using each morning from Catherine Ponder’s book, The Secret of Unlimited Prosperity. They were all good statements that apply to many life areas, but even at the start, I had to alter some of the words so they worked for me. I still highly recommend the book, for lots of reasons; but I reached a personal realization and had to do something about it.

There is one particular thing she wrote that always gets and holds my attention: “Realization precedes manifestation. A realization of Truth will banish every ill, and the prayer through which realization comes is the prayer that asserts the truth.” My dictionary defines realize as, among other definitions: to make real; to understand fully. This made me look at that first sentence in a certain way. A realization can be a thought belief (to make real in the mind, even if it isn’t) or true faith (to fully understand, know), and the two are not the same thing, to my way of thinking.

Realization precedes manifestation. Thoughts create experiences. How often it has been my experience to either believe something (a thought I have, which may not be in my best interest, and may change) or to have faith (the absence of doubt, a constant belief upheld by evidence) and experience what it was I believed or had faith about. I know: it’s basic Law of Attraction.

When I recently noticed that I felt doubt about some of the affirmations, even with my own rewording, I decided the best way for me to have a beneficial experience was to use only those statements I could get 100% on board with, ones that did not cause that little voice in my head to say, “Un unh.” I call these Truth statements—statements I absolutely believe are true and have absolute faith in as Truth. I’m going to share some of them with you, and you can see if they resonate within you as they do within me. The statements are modified versions from Ponder’s book.

My Truth Statements

It is Truth that the One Source of Infinite Love is the source of all supply, including my supply. Reason this feels true: I do believe there is only one primary Source, so it makes sense that everything and everyone comes from that Source, is an expression of that Source, returns to that Source from which it or they came. This is also supported by metaphysicists and quantum physics, which finally, in premise, agree, even if they use different terminology.

It is Truth that the One Source of Infinite Love is always and in all ways opening and providing new channels of abundance, prosperity, and well-being to me, for me, and through me. Reason this feels true: I experience this, when I’m in flow. And, it also makes me feel quite good to support receiving and sharing as part of the larger dynamic of my experience—a grand abundance, prosperity, and well-being loop.

It is Truth that there is no numbering of the avenues through which supply may come to me; that my resource is as far-reaching as the universe. Reason this feels true: I believe that Source is unlimited. I more than believe this; I’ve experienced it on many occasions. Only human thought limits what we believe our supply and resources are. This statement also supports my connection with life.

It is Truth that I am meant to expect my supply through all avenues of contact with life. Reason this feels true: It has been said repeatedly that Source has already provided everything we ever need or ever could, and that only our resistance to receiving it, in some way, prevents it or holds it back from coming to us. Yes, this is one that is a larger conversation I won’t get into now, but we are not meant to not expect that our needs and desires are to be supplied during our life. (It’s not about what I can get from the flow, but that I get into the flow.)

It is Truth that my abundance, prosperity, and well-being are from Source; and that my abundance, prosperity, and well-being are always and in all ways omnipresent. Reason this feels true: I do believe the first part of that statement. And because I believe it and experience it as Truth, the second part of that statement must automatically be Truth, as well, because I believe Source is omnipresent.

It is Truth that appreciation is a magnet for all good things of the universe to hasten to you. Reason this feels true: It’s basic Law of Attraction. When you feel genuine appreciation for something or about everything, even at times when you stretch to feel that way, it shifts your energy. It allows good stuff to start happening because that’s the vibration you put out and that’s what you magnetize to you. This is also based on personal experience. As most of us know, feelings opposite of appreciation magnetize undesirable experiences to us. I have personal experience with this one, as well.

It is Truth that good things come to me in expected, unexpected, and wonderful ways, and sometimes with a promptness that is astonishing. Reason this feels true: repeated personal experience. I’ve been pleasantly surprised in this way, so know it as a fact—a Truth.

It is Truth that my every need is met. Reason this feels true: Again, personal experience. No matter how many times my ego-aspect drives me around the bend about some things, I eventually return to the Truth, and this statement is proven true, once again.

It is Truth that when we live, not just know, the Law of Attraction and the Truth of the One Source of Infinite Love, we never need to go seeking—our own always comes to us. Reason this feels true: It has been my repeated experience that when I get into the flow, rather than focus on what I can get from the flow (and especially not entertain thoughts of lack), remarkable things happen. I put out a thought or request and it shows up in an amazing way and timing, often without my having done anything other than think the thought, and trust the Truth. This doesn’t mean that I never or seldom take action: I’m always taking action. It’s just that sometimes the only action that was required was trust in the Truth of this statement.

Ponder wrote that one Truth student said, “I have never yet seen a case of unanswered prayer, when the one who prayed was really ready to receive the answer.” Being ready to receive the answer—that’s the key. Do you trust Source enough to trust the answer you receive and when you receive it? That’s one to contemplate. Sometimes the answer we get is not one we would have chosen and the when-aspect is like a frightening amusement park ride. We find we have to rely on our trust in Source to have higher wisdom about this.

I offer this about these statements and any you have for yourself based in Truth: when that voice inside your head starts playing negative tapes about anything, pull up an appropriate Truth statement and repeat it as needed. Don’t let the ego-aspect’s frightened or frustrated attitude get to you or take you over. Cancel it with Truth.

Realization based in faith—the absence of doubt—precedes manifestation that is in your highest good and the highest good of all involved, no matter how it initially may appear. A realization of Truth does, indeed, banish every ill—or the inclination to worry and fret; and the prayer or statement through which realization comes is the prayer or statement that asserts the Truth. Statements that affirm the Truth lead us to experiences of the Truth and, therefore, realizations of the Truth.

What is the Truth? Some aspects are listed above as my statements; but you learn what the Truth is when you experience it in all its beauty, wonder, and constancy over and over. There are, of course, other Truths not listed here. Explore the difference between thought beliefs (temporary, possibly non-supportive) and Truth (something that is constant, unchanging, and always and in all ways supportive). Readapting something Ernest Holmes wrote: Those who get involved with Truth evolve. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.                  

          

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

What Does Being Authentic Really Mean?

Do you ever judge yourself as not being as authentic as you believe you should be? Do you know why you feel this way? Here’s something to think about.

I was reading about character vs. characterization in novel writing, and this led me to contemplate what it means to be authentic. When writers craft a novel, they need characters and need to develop the characters in a way that makes them feel real to readers. This means the writers have to know as much about the characters as possible, from eye color to habits to prime motivation in life. This is called characterization. Character is what is demonstrated when a character in a novel faces a challenge—shows their true colors, as the saying goes. It’s the stuff they’re made of, when push comes to shove. It’s the same for us.

It’s fairly easy to create a characterization, a presentation, of ourselves for others to see and believe: we can let them see whatever we prefer they see. With others, we can pay attention to what they say and do, and even what we intuit about them when we’re with them, which gives us more information beyond what we see. But all of this leads to the question: what is authenticity really about?

What if it’s really about how you feel about yourself, rather than what you say or do, or how you look? After all, any of us can at anytime say and do things that don’t feel authentic to us but we believe is what is expected of us, or dress a certain way, whether it feels natural or not. Do you believe that to be truly authentic, you have to spill every bean about yourself to everyone? Can you keep anything private or be discerning about who you share what with and still be authentic?

As I pondered these questions, I thought about the fact that the world is peopled with introverts and extroverts. People have traits of both, but in their individual quantities. Carolyn Gregoire wrote the following in an article for The Huffington Post: “As recently as 2010, the American Psychiatric Association even considered classifying “introverted personality” as a disorder by listing it in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5), a manual used to diagnose mental illness. But more and more introverts are speaking out about what it really means to be a ‘quiet’ type.” 

I admit that for a long time I believed that outgoing people (extroverts) were demonstrating the one and only way to be authentic; so, because I’m a more quiet type (80% introvert, according to an online test I took), I judged myself as not being as authentic as someone who says, or seems to say, whatever they feel like saying about anything, and to anyone, at any time. To all you introverts out there, if you’ve been feeling less authentic because you’re a more quiet type or because you feel a certain way and it clashes with what some believe is more “normal” or authentic (or commercially viable) behavior, you can relax and be yourself. You can gladly laugh at those online poster images that say things like “Introverts unite—in your separate homes.” You get the joke better than anyone.

Gregoire included a list of 23 signs of an introvert in her article, which I’m going to share here as well as some comments about extroverts. Keep in mind that some people you might call an extrovert may actually have a bit or a good bit of introvert in them, just as introverts have a bit or a good bit of extrovert in them. You may resonate more with some of what’s listed below than with others—we’re all composites when it comes to our personality. Here are the 23 signs (my comments are in parentheses):

1.     You find small talk incredibly cumbersome. (As an introvert, I’ll say that’s putting it mildly. Too much small talk can make introverts feel tired and annoyed—it’s like static on a radio to them. Introverts can and will engage in small talk, but it doesn’t take long for them to look for or wish for an exit. A number of aspects that follow can all be tied back into this one. Extroverts, however, will carry on conversations about anything and enjoy it well enough, if not a lot.)

2.     You go to parties -– but not to meet people. (Introverts, when they do go to parties, go to see people they know, to be with people who accept them as they are and they can be relaxed around. If they do connect with a new person in a real way, they’ll enjoy it. Extroverts tend to be “the more the merrier” types.)

3.     You often feel alone in a crowd. (Introverts don’t like crowds, or like them in small doses. They have to mentally prepare themselves for crowds. Again, extroverts tend to be “the more the merrier” types.)

4.     Networking makes you feel like a phony. (Introverts prefer deeper conversations that lead to real connection. They know it may take a lot of small talk first, to find someone who will engage in deeper conversations (see No. 1). And, yet again, extroverts tend to be “the more the merrier” types.)

5.     You've been called "too intense." (Introverts prefer deeper thoughts and conversations—they need them because that’s their nature. They’ll engage in lighter conversations, but only for so long. This doesn’t mean extroverts don’t enjoy deeper conversations, but they don’t fuel and feed many extroverts as they do introverts.)

6.     You're easily distracted. (This refers to an introvert being in an overly-stimulating environment, which stifles clear or deeper thought and engagement. Introverts may zone out in such situations, in order to conserve energy. Extroverts are comfortable in overly-stimulating environments; it fuels them.)

7.     Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive to you. (Downtime is a necessity for introverts. They need it to recharge their batteries and to stimulate their creativity. A whole day alone with a good book or some other downtime experience is like heaven to an introvert. Longer is even better. Extroverts tend to thrive on stimulation that comes from others and activities. They can take only so much alone time; introverts can take only so much social engagement.)

8.     Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards. (For all the reasons listed above and below. Extroverts are eager to mingle.)

9.     When you get on the subway, you sit at the end of the bench -– not in the middle. (Or prefer end or back seats wherever you go—like in a theater, for fast getaways, if needed. Extroverts like to be in the mix.)

10. You start to shut down after you’ve been active for too long. (Introverts are often more sprinter types than marathoners, activity-wise. Extroverts have a different kind of energy reserve.)

11.  You're in a relationship with an extrovert. (Introverts like to sometimes ride the “waves” with an extrovert. Notice I said “sometimes.” That need for quiet, alone time is always there—an introvert can actually feel or become unwell if they don’t get enough of this. Extroverts may or may not understand this need, may or may not think it’s a strange way to be. Life is for living, is an extrovert’s motto. The introvert lives life, just from a more inward perspective.)

12.  You'd rather be an expert at one thing than try to do everything. (Introverts like to and need to focus. It’s more about how well they function and feel best than about what they do; though, they need to feel aligned with what they do. Extroverts are more outwardly adventurous. An experience, for its own sake, may be more important than alignment with it, for an extrovert.)

13.  You actively avoid any shows that might involve audience participation. (However if picked, an introvert might get into it, if the participation is brief enough. An extrovert might deliberately attend such a performance and even volunteer, vigorously.)

14.  You screen all your calls -- even from friends. (Sophia Dembling, author of "The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World," said, "To me, a ringing phone is like having somebody jump out of a closet and go 'BOO!'" Introverts prefer to be mentally and energetically ready for phone calls (see No. 1). Plus, when deep in thought, which is often, they don’t respond well to being disturbed. Extroverts love to engage anytime. It’s stimulation that feeds them.)

15.  You notice details that others don't. (Unless an introvert is distracted by an overly-stimulating environment, they notice details; and these can be physical ones, but often are inner ones, like emotional dynamics. Extroverts, like introverts, notice whatever they attune to, but it may be more about what someone says than why they say it.)

16.  You have a constantly running inner monologue. (Introverts tend to prefer to think before they speak; and as natural thinkers, they think and process thoughts all the time. Extroverts are more comfortable with speaking first and thinking about it later. They’re also more comfortable acting without thinking it through first. Both of these aspects are something introverts sometimes wish they were comfortable doing, but the fact is they aren’t. Both of these are things extroverts sometimes wish they hadn’t done, but it’s their nature.)

17.  You have low blood pressure. (A scientific study said introverts tend to have lower BP than extroverts do. This makes sense, since introverts look for deeper meanings and have all that quiet alone time to do it in. Extroverts are out there, living on the edge, for the most part. There’s going to be a certain amount of stress in that way of living.)

18.  You’ve been called an “old soul” -– since your 20s. (Again, introverts tend to prefer to think before they speak, which can seem like wisdom to others (sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t). Extroverts tend to be more in-the-moment types—the time is now, to speak and act, which is sometimes wise and sometimes isn’t.)

19.  You don't feel "high" from your surroundings (Like, say, at big parties. Extroverts respond to their environments differently than introverts—they align with the energy, while introverts look for what and who they are in true alignment with).

20. You look at the big picture. (Introverts tend to be okay with details and facts, but can also engage abstract concepts, as well. Some extroverts are, again, in-the-moment types. What’s happening in front of them is what’s happening. Introverts tend to look for the undercurrents and dynamics.)

21. You’ve been told to “come out of your shell.” (Introverts come out of their shells when they feel like it, thank you. But they keep their shells close by. Extroverts have shells, and sometimes they visit them.)

22. You’re a writer. (Some introverts find it easier to communicate through writing; plus, all that time alone to think charges up their creativity. This doesn’t mean extroverts don’t write, but the ones that do likely have enough introvert in them to support this. Many extroverts would prefer to speak than write. The alone-time it takes to write might be too much for them. They may prefer to dictate their writings and have someone else type them up.)

23. You alternate between phases of work and solitude, and periods of social activity. (Too much activity can stress and tire an introvert. They know how much socializing, work, and downtime works for them. Some extroverts have to wear themselves out before they realize it’s time, or past time, for downtime.)

We cannot all be the same, or some of us aren’t needed. We need extroverts to enliven life and moments and stimulate the energy so it doesn’t go stale. We need introverts to keep things real, to provide the bigger picture, and to calm things down. Life is like a musical composition: We need the notes (extroverts) and the rests between the notes (introverts). If a composition is all rests, there’s no music. If it’s all notes with no rests, there’s no pause to breathe, and performers and listeners alike will pass out or gasp for air. To those of you who are extroverts, thank you for what you offer to the world and to introverts who benefit from “just enough” excitement from time to time. To those of you who are introverts, did you notice how many of the 23 are about being authentic? So if you were comparing yourself to extroverts, as I was, stop it. Both are authentic. Both are needed.

I think it’s more important that you feel authentic than “appear” authentic to others so that you then perceive yourself as authentic. Authenticity comes from within, never from outside of you. Who are you comfortable being in your everyday life? Who are you—what is your true character or nature—when you face challenges? It’s okay to be who you are and it’s okay to discover who that is as life presents changes to and for you. It’s okay to share as much of your authentic self with others as you feel comfortable with; but be sure to share it with yourself. Know thyself. Love thyself. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.               

          

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

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Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com