You put real effort into improving areas of your life; yet, desired improvements don’t happen as quickly as you’d like or not at all. Could it be that there are one or more leaks you aren’t aware of?
A family member moved her travel trailer from the desert, where it seldom rains, to a location that gets more rainfall. That’s how she discovered a few leaks in her trailer she didn’t know about. My comment to her was, “Nothing like rain to show you where your leaks are.” That’s how life works, as well. It’s not always about an isolated leak big enough to get our attention, it’s sometimes about the ones we don’t “see” for what they are or that we’re so used to that we ignore them, but do see or feel their effects.
Here’s the biggest leak I believe most of us have in common:
In our subconscious mind—and even partially in our conscious mind, we believe our reality is “supposed” to be a certain way. And, that’s exactly how it is. Really think about what this means. What do you actually believe… you know… those thoughts of yours that are prevalent no matter what else you tell yourself? Do you wake every morning and think most of the same thoughts throughout the day, as you did the days before? This is like painting the same landscape on a new canvas almost exactly the same way every day—then wondering why the scene stays the same or when it will ever change.
You—and you’re in good company—likely visualize (think about) what you don’t want or don’t like, with lots of emotion involved… and you get more of what you don’t want or don’t like every day, in some measure. It’s like a dog chasing its tail and griping about the view it believes it “has” or is “forced” to look at.
I’m not religious, but I appreciate the first line of Psalm 96: “Sing to the Lord a new song” (and to yourself and others)—not the same old song you’ve been “singing” every day. Become aware that you amplify any problems or challenges with your perspective about them, which affects your attitude, which affects your words and actions, which determine how you travel through your day and life. Going back to the painting analogy, keep in mind that how you’ll change the scene on the canvas happens first as what you envision in your mind then decide on then follow through on.
In a moment, I’ll give you an effective way to mend energy and manifestation leaks so you start changing the landscape of your life, but first...
Since the holidays are upon us, let’s look at a possible leak-mending “opportunity” that often results in stress: family gatherings. What I’m about to share may help you ease up on yourself and others during such times. I’ve seen several attributes for the following comment, though I first heard it attributed to Ram Das. This comment is brilliant and on target: “If you want to know how enlightened you are, spend a week with your family.” I offer this to encourage you to, hopefully, chuckle at a “common” condition. If you notice any stress during gatherings, just thinking of this statement may lighten your energy. Also, keep in mind that energy flows in both directions: if you find it stressful to be around certain people and their attitudes, you can bet they find it stressful to be around you and your attitude.
The “rain” in our life can be anyone, not just immediate family members, or events… it’s anyone and anything that triggers us, including ourselves with our thoughts. When we’re triggered, we tend to get annoyed at whoever or whatever triggered us, the Universe, and ourselves for “still” being able to be triggered no matter how long we’ve been working on our personal enlightenment. One reason we get triggered about some of the same things repeatedly is because we rely on our thoughts and beliefs to inform and guide us instead of what we KNOW, “know” meaning the Deeper Spiritual Wisdom we’ve gained by paying attention differently. The less you realize you KNOW indicates that you could pay more attention in a deeper way.
As promised, here’s a way to begin to paint your landscape differently, as well as mend leaks you know about, or show up, or before they happen. It’s ancient, proven, and powerful. You can use it during meditation, while you shower, while you drive, or anytime during the day or night.
Think of one or more empowering statements, something that’s a sincere intention for your day or your life. Here are a few I suggest:
●I am always in the right place, at the right time, with the right people, and with the right action.
●I am attuned to my intuition and follow it effortlessly.
●I always have plenty of money to do everything I want and need to do.
●I have all the energy and enthusiasm I need to accomplish whatever I need and choose to today.
●Something about my experience with (fill in the blank) shifts in a positive way today.
●Something wonderful happens in my life today, and everyday.
●Today, I feel deeper appreciation for what I DO have and know that even more waits for me to receive it.
●Today, I allow myself to receive my Good, which comes in many forms and from any of the Universe’s infinite resources.
It’s best if you say your statements aloud and alone, but you can do this in your mind if you’re with others. The process is as follows: Make one of your statements. Then make the “Ah” sound—aloud and sustained (and strong, not wimpy), until you run out of breath. Think about your statement as you make the sound—feel the positive effects of your statement on you and your life. Do this twice for each statement, the first time aloud, the second time to yourself, one statement at a time. As you do this practice, you allow that what you state will or “could” happen or improve in the way or ways you desire, or even better.
Maybe you’ve learned effective methods like the one I provide here. And, maybe you used them for a while then stopped. Have you ever wondered why you do that?
We want different results, but expect them to come from our habituated behaviors—because those behaviors are routine to us—we don’t have to consciously think about whether they create desired results or not. It’s okay if you prefer to “do life” as it shows up for you. You only need to concern yourself with inner and outer shifts if you are discontent. But, if you do want a new (improved) you or experience of life, you have to be aware of, not dwell on, the “old” aspects that no longer serve you, you have to hold a vision of the new version—and most importantly, you have to RENEW the new ways every day—meaning put into practice each day, your improved thoughts, feelings, intentions, and ways you speak and act.
You will continue to find new leaks in your energy and manifestation process because that’s how the human process goes. You can mend new and long-standing leaks so that you don’t experience them again—or ever again experience them the same way as you have been. I’m not saying this is necessarily easy, just doable.
The question is: Will you put this or any other effective method into daily practice? “Life is easy when you do it the hard way and hard when you do it the easy way.” To me this quote means we can be consistent with our proven personal empowerment methods and let life feel and be more effortless, or we can take the “easy” way of not putting effective methods into consistent practice and deal with the results, which is usually life feeling and being difficult, frustrating, or a struggle. Which leaks will you notice and mend this week?
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.
Joyce Shafer is a Life Coach, Author, and provider of Love Who You Really Are, Go for What You Really Want—an 8-week life-changing online coaching course that lets the real you come out and play (you know you want to!), and publisher of State of Appreciation, a free weekly online newsletter that blends practical & spiritual approaches to enhance personal power and self-realization through articles, and free downloads, when you subscribe at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
Friday, November 18, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Are You in Drive or Reverse?
Are you traveling through life or are you on a journey? Are you looking forward or at the past? Your answers reveal a lot about the direction you’re going in and what kind of experiences you’ll have.
Maybe you can relate… It was a major life change for me to move from New York City to my hometown in the deep South, for reasons you might imagine and others you might not. I was on board with it, though: My father had died and my elderly, legally-blind mother who has health issues had friends here, but no family. The decision to move and the moving process was quick and intense, and kept me so focused that I had little time to consider all of my feelings. I was fully committed to the move, so didn’t look back… until I was in my new location. And then I found my focus was more on the rearview mirror of my life than the windshield.
That can happen with any minor, but especially major life shift. In the presence of the unknown and as yet undefined present that contributes to the future, the past offers the comfort of the familiar, even if it contains painful times, as all pasts do. This moment in time can cause us to feel we have a foot in both the past and present, and to forget that our lives are a journey. We may find we move, instead, as travelers who feel pressured by tasks and schedules, as well as real and self-imposed needs for speed. We may feel rushed to get settled, and momentum going in the new life, with more tension than enjoyment or enthusiasm.
We’re told the Universe loves speed; but I think a disclaimer should be added: When the Universe sends us an inspired idea or an opportunity that’s appropriate for us or is one we requested, we are to respond immediately. It doesn’t mean we are required to speed through every moment of life in order to get a nod of approval from the Universe, which will then provide what we need and desire, because we’ve proven ourselves as willing perpetual-motion machines. In fact, that approach can block our energy because we aren’t in flowing give-and-receive mode, we’re in ‘gotta do” mode.
Here’s something relevant Old Bill said to A.J.: “When people are just travelin, they start out with the notion they’re gonna end up someplace by a certain time. They get together what they think they’ll need and head out…. they’re on a schedule. If a detour comes up on the highway or there’s a traffic jam, they get upset. A person on a journey prepares the basics as well, but doesn’t have a schedule–not as such. That person is willin, if not enthusiastic, about enjoyin every second. Might create detours just to see what’s there. Maybe pulls over to watch a sunrise or sunset. Might get out in a rain shower to feel the cool drops on their skin–taste the rain. That kind of person will stop along the way just to talk to people, have a new experience. You can tell a lot about how a person moves through life by how they travel.”
Whenever you have a major life change—or are in need of one, you know that whether you’re prepared for the change or not, you’ve got a lot of feelings going on; and maybe you have time to process them or you don’t, though, eventually they’ll demand some of your time. Even if the change is positive, there’s a level of mourning involved—for the positive aspects that no longer exist and for the comfort the familiar once provided. If we allow ourselves to go overboard with this or to linger in this type of thinking too long, we find ourselves in Reverse instead of in Drive, no matter what we may do to move forward.
An automatic part of any change is setting-up and adjustment time—in a new job or career, relationship—with a new partner or child—or now alone, a new home, or geographic location; and sometimes some or all of these happen at once. This time is more often akin to traveling rather than being on a journey. There’s so much to think about and take care of that demands your attention, all while your feelings and emotions are adjusting, as well. You may find yourself “stopping to smell the roses,” but as memories of the ones you left behind by choice, or not, rather than the “roses” on your new path. If a change is sudden and unexpected, the last thing you may want to do for a while is contemplate what the changes mean in a positive way for you and your life. But, at some point, you must. It’s the only way to find and plant seeds of happiness and fulfillment.
We can understand this type of response is common for many, and we can decide to honor our feelings then invite the potential and possibilities ahead of us into our state of mind and being and lives. That is what life is about, after all. And this may happen for you gradually or in a flurry. Neither way is wrong or right. It’s always best to know yourself, and it’s a good idea to nudge yourself if you stay still or look in the rearview mirror too long.
I invite you to pause and consider, as I did, in which direction your attention is focused, and if your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions behave as supportive fuel to get you where you desire to BE next. Are you traveling with rigid rules so you stay on your or someone else’s schedule, or are you on a journey with adventures and slow times, two-lane detours and major highways, rock and rose gardens? Do you take time to notice and smell the roses, or perhaps to seek out rose gardens—or plant your own? Which practice feels more like the one you truly desire?
[Content in quotation marks excerpted from I Don’t Want to Be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say.]
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.
Joyce Shafer is a Life Coach, Author, and provider of Love Who You Really Are, Go for What You Really Want—an 8-week life-changing online coaching course that lets the real you come out and play (you know you want to!), and publisher of State of Appreciation, a free weekly online newsletter that blends practical & spiritual approaches to enhance personal power and self-realization through articles, and free downloads, when you subscribe at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
Maybe you can relate… It was a major life change for me to move from New York City to my hometown in the deep South, for reasons you might imagine and others you might not. I was on board with it, though: My father had died and my elderly, legally-blind mother who has health issues had friends here, but no family. The decision to move and the moving process was quick and intense, and kept me so focused that I had little time to consider all of my feelings. I was fully committed to the move, so didn’t look back… until I was in my new location. And then I found my focus was more on the rearview mirror of my life than the windshield.
That can happen with any minor, but especially major life shift. In the presence of the unknown and as yet undefined present that contributes to the future, the past offers the comfort of the familiar, even if it contains painful times, as all pasts do. This moment in time can cause us to feel we have a foot in both the past and present, and to forget that our lives are a journey. We may find we move, instead, as travelers who feel pressured by tasks and schedules, as well as real and self-imposed needs for speed. We may feel rushed to get settled, and momentum going in the new life, with more tension than enjoyment or enthusiasm.
We’re told the Universe loves speed; but I think a disclaimer should be added: When the Universe sends us an inspired idea or an opportunity that’s appropriate for us or is one we requested, we are to respond immediately. It doesn’t mean we are required to speed through every moment of life in order to get a nod of approval from the Universe, which will then provide what we need and desire, because we’ve proven ourselves as willing perpetual-motion machines. In fact, that approach can block our energy because we aren’t in flowing give-and-receive mode, we’re in ‘gotta do” mode.
Here’s something relevant Old Bill said to A.J.: “When people are just travelin, they start out with the notion they’re gonna end up someplace by a certain time. They get together what they think they’ll need and head out…. they’re on a schedule. If a detour comes up on the highway or there’s a traffic jam, they get upset. A person on a journey prepares the basics as well, but doesn’t have a schedule–not as such. That person is willin, if not enthusiastic, about enjoyin every second. Might create detours just to see what’s there. Maybe pulls over to watch a sunrise or sunset. Might get out in a rain shower to feel the cool drops on their skin–taste the rain. That kind of person will stop along the way just to talk to people, have a new experience. You can tell a lot about how a person moves through life by how they travel.”
Whenever you have a major life change—or are in need of one, you know that whether you’re prepared for the change or not, you’ve got a lot of feelings going on; and maybe you have time to process them or you don’t, though, eventually they’ll demand some of your time. Even if the change is positive, there’s a level of mourning involved—for the positive aspects that no longer exist and for the comfort the familiar once provided. If we allow ourselves to go overboard with this or to linger in this type of thinking too long, we find ourselves in Reverse instead of in Drive, no matter what we may do to move forward.
An automatic part of any change is setting-up and adjustment time—in a new job or career, relationship—with a new partner or child—or now alone, a new home, or geographic location; and sometimes some or all of these happen at once. This time is more often akin to traveling rather than being on a journey. There’s so much to think about and take care of that demands your attention, all while your feelings and emotions are adjusting, as well. You may find yourself “stopping to smell the roses,” but as memories of the ones you left behind by choice, or not, rather than the “roses” on your new path. If a change is sudden and unexpected, the last thing you may want to do for a while is contemplate what the changes mean in a positive way for you and your life. But, at some point, you must. It’s the only way to find and plant seeds of happiness and fulfillment.
We can understand this type of response is common for many, and we can decide to honor our feelings then invite the potential and possibilities ahead of us into our state of mind and being and lives. That is what life is about, after all. And this may happen for you gradually or in a flurry. Neither way is wrong or right. It’s always best to know yourself, and it’s a good idea to nudge yourself if you stay still or look in the rearview mirror too long.
I invite you to pause and consider, as I did, in which direction your attention is focused, and if your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions behave as supportive fuel to get you where you desire to BE next. Are you traveling with rigid rules so you stay on your or someone else’s schedule, or are you on a journey with adventures and slow times, two-lane detours and major highways, rock and rose gardens? Do you take time to notice and smell the roses, or perhaps to seek out rose gardens—or plant your own? Which practice feels more like the one you truly desire?
[Content in quotation marks excerpted from I Don’t Want to Be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say.]
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.
Joyce Shafer is a Life Coach, Author, and provider of Love Who You Really Are, Go for What You Really Want—an 8-week life-changing online coaching course that lets the real you come out and play (you know you want to!), and publisher of State of Appreciation, a free weekly online newsletter that blends practical & spiritual approaches to enhance personal power and self-realization through articles, and free downloads, when you subscribe at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
Friday, November 4, 2011
Do You Struggle with Feeling Authentic?
Do you carry the feeling of not being your authentic self or living authentically, and a fear of doing so? If your answer is yes, here are two significant causes for this you need to be aware of.
What I consider the first cause—a genuinely significant one—is that we, for the most part have been socially “disconnected” from our whole-mind self that requires our intuitive skills be included in any thoughtful, creative mental processing. Developing and using this aspect of who we really are will assist us out of the negative effects of the other cause, which I mention in a moment, and into living as our authentic selves.
Years back, Dr. Roger Sperry conducted a surgical experiment that disconnected the logical part of the mind from the intuitive part. The result was telling: Without the intuitive abilities, the logical mind is unable to discern true from not true. This is a primary reason to keep in mind that genuine intuition never lies to us or steers us wrong.
The brain is a computer, and like a computer is programmable. Our initial and most prominent programs originated outside of us: they came from others who conveyed to us what is to be judged good or bad about ourselves, others, events, and life. We continue this pattern when we don’t turn to our intuition for more information.
The fact that a bigger picture beyond isolated incidents always exists is seldom included in our early childhood programming; nor is the fact that we have a whole mind, not just a logical mind, nurtured and developed. Society demonstrates a higher value is placed on logic than on intuition, as though we only have one and not the other, or should. Even if we believe or know differently, and even after evidence of what a whole-mind approach can create, we still generally fear expanding this, much less owning it as a fact of our human nature and design.
This means we struggle more often than not, even with matters that could be simpler to resolve, because we rely on logic that says matters are “black and white” or “good or bad”—defined as such for us first by others; and this results in our accepting untruths from others about ourselves and life. We accept these untruths with no further exploration such as using a “What else might it be” approach, often because non-acceptance of certain untruths—or questioning what we were told—resulted in some form of penalty. We adopt and adapt in hopes of being awarded acceptance.
Because high value is place primarily on logical thinking and behaving, we remain mostly disconnected from our authentic whole-mind selves. We know something is missing, but we look in the wrong direction to find and improve this.
This misdirection causes us to put more focus onto perceived weaknesses rather than genuine strengths—our own, as well as others’. And this leads to the other cause of feeling inauthentic: Living defensively. Defensive behaviors are a result of low self-esteem caused by feeling unable or uninformed about how to self-determine our worth or value separate from what others expect of us or “should” on us. We’ve been programmed, and have bought into the belief that we must meet others’ expectations in order to be assigned personal worth or value—by them, which is untrue. So, instead of exploring and discovering who we are and using our whole mind to do this, we spend our lives trying to please others, or at least, to not draw negative attention to us.
No one wants to feel embarrassed, humiliated, or considered a failure; and in our attempt to avoid this, we live defensively—sometimes in the extreme. But we have to realize that defensive living is motivation, energy, and life purpose in reverse. There’s a high cost paid when we practice defensive living. Here are several costs, though you maybe could list more.
Cost 1: Fear of embarrassment or humiliation impedes our ability to hear constructive feedback; and some either go ballistic or wither if any kind of criticism is given, including constructive. This fear hampers our ability to productively resolve issues and conflicts that come our way.
Cost 2: It’s exhausting to try to keep our weaknesses hidden from others. We put so much energy into this that we sacrifice a great deal of our creative, productive energy that leads to desired experiences and results.
Cost 3: Belief that we have to fix what’s “wrong” with us or with others or with our life locks the “this is broken” pattern into place, and we experience feeling we and life are perpetually broken, and possibly beyond transformation, instead of focusing on what and how and the truth that improvements can happen.
Cost 4: Defensiveness creates a negative, limiting magnetic field around us and “more of the same” comes our way, even if “new” issues are variations on a very old theme. We imagine defensive living will shield us from what we fear, but it just leads to what’s often called self-fulfilling prophecy (“That’s exactly what I was afraid or knew would happen!”).
Cost 5: It’s exhausting to try to identify and rid ourselves of what we believe are our every weakness; plus, we often find our “list” of top weaknesses may have the same items as 5, 10, or more years ago—we feel unable to break the pattern. This is because our time and energy are almost solely focused on perceived weaknesses, rather than on using strengths and building upon strengths.
Cost 6: It impedes our ability to accept responsibility for ourselves and our lives—we’re terrified to make a mistake. Or if we make a mistake, we behave as though the worst has happened—because that’s how we feel, and sometimes were made to feel. We disregard the fact that everyone makes mistakes, that mistakes can truly be used as opportunities to learn and improve, not as reasons to be punished or self-punished.
Living defensively isn’t living. Defensive living based on what’s been described here is depleting. If you focus on your strengths—using them and building upon them—you’ll find you engage your creative, inspired, intuitive aspects. This is energizing. Recall a time you were in your creative groove. No energy depletion there! This is why problem-solving based in intuitive, creative whole-mind processing gives you energy for more and for better. Intuition is able to give you inspired information that your logical mind can then take action on. This is our natural design and how we can perform at our best.
What might happen if you put into practice the application of your strengths, intuition, and creativity towards whatever may need a solution or resolution? You’d listen to and follow your inner compass instead of taking detours and misdirection prescribed by others. What’s more authentic than that?!
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.
Joyce Shafer, Life Coach, Author, and provider of Love Who You Really Are, Go for What You Really Want—an 8-week life-changing online coaching course that lets the real you come out and play (you know you want to!), and publisher of State of Appreciation, a free weekly online newsletter that blends practical & spiritual approaches to enhance personal power and self-realization through articles, and free downloads, when you subscribe at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
What I consider the first cause—a genuinely significant one—is that we, for the most part have been socially “disconnected” from our whole-mind self that requires our intuitive skills be included in any thoughtful, creative mental processing. Developing and using this aspect of who we really are will assist us out of the negative effects of the other cause, which I mention in a moment, and into living as our authentic selves.
Years back, Dr. Roger Sperry conducted a surgical experiment that disconnected the logical part of the mind from the intuitive part. The result was telling: Without the intuitive abilities, the logical mind is unable to discern true from not true. This is a primary reason to keep in mind that genuine intuition never lies to us or steers us wrong.
The brain is a computer, and like a computer is programmable. Our initial and most prominent programs originated outside of us: they came from others who conveyed to us what is to be judged good or bad about ourselves, others, events, and life. We continue this pattern when we don’t turn to our intuition for more information.
The fact that a bigger picture beyond isolated incidents always exists is seldom included in our early childhood programming; nor is the fact that we have a whole mind, not just a logical mind, nurtured and developed. Society demonstrates a higher value is placed on logic than on intuition, as though we only have one and not the other, or should. Even if we believe or know differently, and even after evidence of what a whole-mind approach can create, we still generally fear expanding this, much less owning it as a fact of our human nature and design.
This means we struggle more often than not, even with matters that could be simpler to resolve, because we rely on logic that says matters are “black and white” or “good or bad”—defined as such for us first by others; and this results in our accepting untruths from others about ourselves and life. We accept these untruths with no further exploration such as using a “What else might it be” approach, often because non-acceptance of certain untruths—or questioning what we were told—resulted in some form of penalty. We adopt and adapt in hopes of being awarded acceptance.
Because high value is place primarily on logical thinking and behaving, we remain mostly disconnected from our authentic whole-mind selves. We know something is missing, but we look in the wrong direction to find and improve this.
This misdirection causes us to put more focus onto perceived weaknesses rather than genuine strengths—our own, as well as others’. And this leads to the other cause of feeling inauthentic: Living defensively. Defensive behaviors are a result of low self-esteem caused by feeling unable or uninformed about how to self-determine our worth or value separate from what others expect of us or “should” on us. We’ve been programmed, and have bought into the belief that we must meet others’ expectations in order to be assigned personal worth or value—by them, which is untrue. So, instead of exploring and discovering who we are and using our whole mind to do this, we spend our lives trying to please others, or at least, to not draw negative attention to us.
No one wants to feel embarrassed, humiliated, or considered a failure; and in our attempt to avoid this, we live defensively—sometimes in the extreme. But we have to realize that defensive living is motivation, energy, and life purpose in reverse. There’s a high cost paid when we practice defensive living. Here are several costs, though you maybe could list more.
Cost 1: Fear of embarrassment or humiliation impedes our ability to hear constructive feedback; and some either go ballistic or wither if any kind of criticism is given, including constructive. This fear hampers our ability to productively resolve issues and conflicts that come our way.
Cost 2: It’s exhausting to try to keep our weaknesses hidden from others. We put so much energy into this that we sacrifice a great deal of our creative, productive energy that leads to desired experiences and results.
Cost 3: Belief that we have to fix what’s “wrong” with us or with others or with our life locks the “this is broken” pattern into place, and we experience feeling we and life are perpetually broken, and possibly beyond transformation, instead of focusing on what and how and the truth that improvements can happen.
Cost 4: Defensiveness creates a negative, limiting magnetic field around us and “more of the same” comes our way, even if “new” issues are variations on a very old theme. We imagine defensive living will shield us from what we fear, but it just leads to what’s often called self-fulfilling prophecy (“That’s exactly what I was afraid or knew would happen!”).
Cost 5: It’s exhausting to try to identify and rid ourselves of what we believe are our every weakness; plus, we often find our “list” of top weaknesses may have the same items as 5, 10, or more years ago—we feel unable to break the pattern. This is because our time and energy are almost solely focused on perceived weaknesses, rather than on using strengths and building upon strengths.
Cost 6: It impedes our ability to accept responsibility for ourselves and our lives—we’re terrified to make a mistake. Or if we make a mistake, we behave as though the worst has happened—because that’s how we feel, and sometimes were made to feel. We disregard the fact that everyone makes mistakes, that mistakes can truly be used as opportunities to learn and improve, not as reasons to be punished or self-punished.
Living defensively isn’t living. Defensive living based on what’s been described here is depleting. If you focus on your strengths—using them and building upon them—you’ll find you engage your creative, inspired, intuitive aspects. This is energizing. Recall a time you were in your creative groove. No energy depletion there! This is why problem-solving based in intuitive, creative whole-mind processing gives you energy for more and for better. Intuition is able to give you inspired information that your logical mind can then take action on. This is our natural design and how we can perform at our best.
What might happen if you put into practice the application of your strengths, intuition, and creativity towards whatever may need a solution or resolution? You’d listen to and follow your inner compass instead of taking detours and misdirection prescribed by others. What’s more authentic than that?!
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.
Joyce Shafer, Life Coach, Author, and provider of Love Who You Really Are, Go for What You Really Want—an 8-week life-changing online coaching course that lets the real you come out and play (you know you want to!), and publisher of State of Appreciation, a free weekly online newsletter that blends practical & spiritual approaches to enhance personal power and self-realization through articles, and free downloads, when you subscribe at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
One Reason Your Nagging Issue Seems Hardest to Resolve
This particular reason keeps the same problem or problems around far longer than you ever imagined they would be. It’s also what contributes to your feeling stressed, exhausted, frustrated, and why little to no lasting progress is made, no matter what you do.
Think of one issue you’ve been personally struggling with for a while, say, five years or longer. It might be money, weight, health, business or career, or something else (more about what the real issues may be in a moment).
Here are three approaches you might have chosen regarding your issue, maybe even all three over time, depending on your frustration levels. I ask you to suspend any judgment you might impose on yourself or others as you read them.
1. You sincerely want to improve this issue and have tried one or more (or many) systems, invested a lot of yourself into more information and numerous attempts, but the issue just isn’t shifting in your favor; or, any shifts you do make don’t last, much less expand into more of what you desire.
2. You make halfhearted efforts at improvements.
3. You make no effort beyond complaining to yourself and others.
Whichever approach listed here has been the one you’ve taken—or all three, the reason, which I’m about to share with you, contributes significantly to why the first approach doesn’t lead to desired results, as well as why you might choose the second or third approach. The reason has two parts.
Part 1
Let’s say you sincerely desire to improve your issue or situation, so you begin to focus on this, maybe make some headway, then find yourself pushed or slammed backwards… the old one-step-forward, two-steps-back pattern. What’s happening?
When some desired shift of an issue doesn’t happen despite our efforts, there are many considerations we could make that include alignment with right purpose, right location, right this, right that… all significant aspects that deserve genuine consideration. For our purposes here, I ask you to focus on any issue you know CAN be different, but none of your efforts lead to what you ultimately desire, or you find your ability to act on your behalf is hampered at the inner level, which of course hampers your outer-level actions and results.
Let’s use a specific example. Say you’ve recently (or for longer) been feeling and telling yourself that you’re a failure, in some measure. Question: Do your behaviors (thoughts, feelings, words, and actions) match the idea in your mind of what someone who is a failure thinks, feels, says, and does? Now, substitute “failure” with any word that best fits what your primary struggle currently is or continues to be and consider the question again, and keep it in mind as you continue to read.
If you’ve long perceived yourself as a failure (or whatever), your behaviors will support how a person who’s a failure “should” behave. Notice I didn’t use “would” behave, I deliberately used “should.” There is no rulebook for this, just best guesses and what you’ve been conditioned to believe. Your analytical left brain is programmable and has programs running about what failure should mean to you, how you should behave according to your program, and what should happen if you try to abandon the program that’s running.
If you decide to shift from “failure me” to “successful me,” and you begin to behave in ways that don’t match how you believe a person who’s a failure should behave (thoughts, feelings, words, actions), the part of your mind responsible for monitoring program settings, still set on “failure,” will attempt, and succeed, to get you to return to behaviors that support what you believe a person who’s a failure behaves like.
Part 2
You can see how that program creates a vicious vortex. This vortex spins even faster when you attempt to follow a path supported with a thought like “I’m not a failure.” This is because the word “not” is ignored (it’s the same for the word don’t). Go to your Internet browser and type in “Recipes Not Italian” or “Don’t give me Italian Recipes.” Which recipes will come up first and for quite a while? Italian, of course, because the computer ignores the word “not,” just as your brain ignores it, and just as the very literal quantum fulfillment field ignores it, too; and all three “computers” strive to fulfill the other words included in your request.
This means that when you attempt to shift from perceiving yourself as a failure by trying to perceive yourself as (not) a failure, this runs a double-negative through your brain. This is why nothing or little changes and why you feel stressed and exhausted. It’s like trying to run up a down escalator that adjusts its opposing speed when you do.
How many of these double-negatives are running in your life right now? If you want to identify them, just look at any area you’re struggling with, especially if you’ve been struggling with it, or them, for a while. However, I ask you to look at what really may be going on. If your answer is money, the underlying stressor cause may be an issue of self-worth, self-value, or self-identity. If it’s weight, the underlying stressor cause may be self-image or self-acceptance. If it’s taking action, the underlying stressor cause may be a deep fear of criticism which keeps your self-critic active. Find your word and ask what the underlying stressor cause may actually be.
Fortunately, your intuitive big-picture right side of the brain is trainable, rather than programmable, and can be retrained. Here’s a way to do this that also leads to a realistic resolution for your lingering issue. Using “failure you” as an example again, swap it with “successful you.” What do you believe, perceive, or imagine that you, as a successful individual—according to your ideal image of this, not that of anyone else—would think, feel, say (to yourself and to others), and do action-taking-wise? (Notice I didn’t ask what “successful you” would have, but who you would be.) Make a list for each category, such as: How Successful Me Knows to Think, etc. Instead of judging which items on your list you haven’t done or don’t do consistently, pick one or two a week and integrate them as a way of being successful you. These are actually strengths you already possess that just need to be built up and upon.
“The law of floatation was not discovered by contemplating the sinking of things,” Thomas Troward said. Any person who achieves or accomplishes desired improvements, goals, or dreams says, thinks, feels, plans and takes action differently than someone who consistently doesn’t achieve desired results. Perhaps it’s time to consider what you’ve been putting into practice and start putting something positive into practice instead.
You may want to rush toward desired outcomes to ease painful emotions, especially if you’ve been struggling, but start by putting your attention on the inner practice described here, which will extend itself naturally into your life and create a strong foundation for desired results to be more effortless to accomplish.
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.
Joyce Shafer, Life Coach, Author, and provider of Love Who You Really Are, Go for What You Really Want—an 8-week life-changing online coaching course that lets the real you come out and play (you know you want to!), and publisher of State of Appreciation, a free weekly online newsletter that blends practical & spiritual approaches to enhance personal power and self-realization through articles, and free downloads, when you subscribe at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
Think of one issue you’ve been personally struggling with for a while, say, five years or longer. It might be money, weight, health, business or career, or something else (more about what the real issues may be in a moment).
Here are three approaches you might have chosen regarding your issue, maybe even all three over time, depending on your frustration levels. I ask you to suspend any judgment you might impose on yourself or others as you read them.
1. You sincerely want to improve this issue and have tried one or more (or many) systems, invested a lot of yourself into more information and numerous attempts, but the issue just isn’t shifting in your favor; or, any shifts you do make don’t last, much less expand into more of what you desire.
2. You make halfhearted efforts at improvements.
3. You make no effort beyond complaining to yourself and others.
Whichever approach listed here has been the one you’ve taken—or all three, the reason, which I’m about to share with you, contributes significantly to why the first approach doesn’t lead to desired results, as well as why you might choose the second or third approach. The reason has two parts.
Part 1
Let’s say you sincerely desire to improve your issue or situation, so you begin to focus on this, maybe make some headway, then find yourself pushed or slammed backwards… the old one-step-forward, two-steps-back pattern. What’s happening?
When some desired shift of an issue doesn’t happen despite our efforts, there are many considerations we could make that include alignment with right purpose, right location, right this, right that… all significant aspects that deserve genuine consideration. For our purposes here, I ask you to focus on any issue you know CAN be different, but none of your efforts lead to what you ultimately desire, or you find your ability to act on your behalf is hampered at the inner level, which of course hampers your outer-level actions and results.
Let’s use a specific example. Say you’ve recently (or for longer) been feeling and telling yourself that you’re a failure, in some measure. Question: Do your behaviors (thoughts, feelings, words, and actions) match the idea in your mind of what someone who is a failure thinks, feels, says, and does? Now, substitute “failure” with any word that best fits what your primary struggle currently is or continues to be and consider the question again, and keep it in mind as you continue to read.
If you’ve long perceived yourself as a failure (or whatever), your behaviors will support how a person who’s a failure “should” behave. Notice I didn’t use “would” behave, I deliberately used “should.” There is no rulebook for this, just best guesses and what you’ve been conditioned to believe. Your analytical left brain is programmable and has programs running about what failure should mean to you, how you should behave according to your program, and what should happen if you try to abandon the program that’s running.
If you decide to shift from “failure me” to “successful me,” and you begin to behave in ways that don’t match how you believe a person who’s a failure should behave (thoughts, feelings, words, actions), the part of your mind responsible for monitoring program settings, still set on “failure,” will attempt, and succeed, to get you to return to behaviors that support what you believe a person who’s a failure behaves like.
Part 2
You can see how that program creates a vicious vortex. This vortex spins even faster when you attempt to follow a path supported with a thought like “I’m not a failure.” This is because the word “not” is ignored (it’s the same for the word don’t). Go to your Internet browser and type in “Recipes Not Italian” or “Don’t give me Italian Recipes.” Which recipes will come up first and for quite a while? Italian, of course, because the computer ignores the word “not,” just as your brain ignores it, and just as the very literal quantum fulfillment field ignores it, too; and all three “computers” strive to fulfill the other words included in your request.
This means that when you attempt to shift from perceiving yourself as a failure by trying to perceive yourself as (not) a failure, this runs a double-negative through your brain. This is why nothing or little changes and why you feel stressed and exhausted. It’s like trying to run up a down escalator that adjusts its opposing speed when you do.
How many of these double-negatives are running in your life right now? If you want to identify them, just look at any area you’re struggling with, especially if you’ve been struggling with it, or them, for a while. However, I ask you to look at what really may be going on. If your answer is money, the underlying stressor cause may be an issue of self-worth, self-value, or self-identity. If it’s weight, the underlying stressor cause may be self-image or self-acceptance. If it’s taking action, the underlying stressor cause may be a deep fear of criticism which keeps your self-critic active. Find your word and ask what the underlying stressor cause may actually be.
Fortunately, your intuitive big-picture right side of the brain is trainable, rather than programmable, and can be retrained. Here’s a way to do this that also leads to a realistic resolution for your lingering issue. Using “failure you” as an example again, swap it with “successful you.” What do you believe, perceive, or imagine that you, as a successful individual—according to your ideal image of this, not that of anyone else—would think, feel, say (to yourself and to others), and do action-taking-wise? (Notice I didn’t ask what “successful you” would have, but who you would be.) Make a list for each category, such as: How Successful Me Knows to Think, etc. Instead of judging which items on your list you haven’t done or don’t do consistently, pick one or two a week and integrate them as a way of being successful you. These are actually strengths you already possess that just need to be built up and upon.
“The law of floatation was not discovered by contemplating the sinking of things,” Thomas Troward said. Any person who achieves or accomplishes desired improvements, goals, or dreams says, thinks, feels, plans and takes action differently than someone who consistently doesn’t achieve desired results. Perhaps it’s time to consider what you’ve been putting into practice and start putting something positive into practice instead.
You may want to rush toward desired outcomes to ease painful emotions, especially if you’ve been struggling, but start by putting your attention on the inner practice described here, which will extend itself naturally into your life and create a strong foundation for desired results to be more effortless to accomplish.
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.
Joyce Shafer, Life Coach, Author, and provider of Love Who You Really Are, Go for What You Really Want—an 8-week life-changing online coaching course that lets the real you come out and play (you know you want to!), and publisher of State of Appreciation, a free weekly online newsletter that blends practical & spiritual approaches to enhance personal power and self-realization through articles, and free downloads, when you subscribe at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
Friday, October 21, 2011
What Personal Power Really Is
What does personal power mean to you? It’s something we all want more of, so maybe if we’re sure what it is, we’ll know where to go from there.
Personal Power can mean many things to us. Maybe you think it means better use of Law of Attraction, more money flowing more consistently in your direction, influence, self-confidence, and so forth; and, possibly, all of these and more. Whatever it means to you, what personal power really is, is as much a result as it is a means to desired results.
Here’s a nifty way to understand what personal power really is: Personal Power equals Effectiveness. And, we can do things that either expand or deplete how effective we are. I give you a few significant examples of each of these ways in a moment.
Something you may find helpful to keep in mind is that you can shift your focus from increasing your personal power to increasing your effectiveness. This applies to whatever personal power means to you. This perspective puts a different slant on how to expand your power; maybe this even makes it feel easier, doable, and less ambiguous. This pathway opens you to inspired ideas, and to pay attention to what works and creates improvements, rather than on what you judge as broken or on what you perceive as wrong with you.
Let’s look at ways you may deplete your effectiveness:
*Time, Energy, or Money is put towards something your heart really isn’t into.
*Make choices that are not in your best interest or are not appropriate for you.
*Thoughts, self-talk, and actions aren’t focused on desired results.
*Add steps that are not really needed to get desired results.
*Allow time-draining tasks then get used to engaging in time-draining activities.
*Focus is placed on too many goals or improvements at once, which results in being scattered or overwhelmed.
*Make disempowering choices, which makes making disempowering choices easier and easier, even if the results are undesired.
*Have a to-do list without priorities, direction, or purpose.
*Give time, energy, or money to anything that doesn’t provide a return in some measure, whether that’s of a spiritual, emotional, or tangible nature. This includes foods and beverages, people, volunteer work, studies, activities, etc.
Let’s look at ways you can enhance your effectiveness:
*Put time, energy, and money into what feels worthy to you and that your heart is into.
*Trust that consistent small improvements, rather than massive action, are more effective and lasting; understanding that the very thought of massive action may cause you to never get organized, much less get started.
*Plan and take some effective action every day.
*Recognize that although learning is an action and is effective, real effectiveness happens when you put what you learn into practice, and modify as needed.
*Exchange what slows or holds off desired results for what creates or moves toward desired results.
Although Personal Power can take many forms, three elements support it: time, energy, and money. When you deplete one, you deplete the other two. When you enhance one, you enhance the other two.
You have all the personal power you need. It’s a matter of directing it better and deliberately. Here’s how you can put this into practice: Pick an area of your life that you want to improve. Use the depleting and enhancing information offered here as a guide for one week. Look at ways you know are effective in a positive, productive way and use them. Try new ways on and see how they work, with no concept of failure involved, just research, testing, and assessment of results. Maybe pick one of the three elements to focus on: better time-usage choices, better choices that support your energy, or better money choices. Keep notes about how your actions on one element affect the other two. Notice how the three elements work as a team.
If you’re ready to increase your effectiveness, start at the inner level, especially with deliberately supportive self-talk and thinking; it will ripple outward into your life in ways you appreciate. Put improved effectiveness into practice, and enjoy feeling more personally powerful in your life.
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
This week’s State of Appreciation is live! http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
Personal Power can mean many things to us. Maybe you think it means better use of Law of Attraction, more money flowing more consistently in your direction, influence, self-confidence, and so forth; and, possibly, all of these and more. Whatever it means to you, what personal power really is, is as much a result as it is a means to desired results.
Here’s a nifty way to understand what personal power really is: Personal Power equals Effectiveness. And, we can do things that either expand or deplete how effective we are. I give you a few significant examples of each of these ways in a moment.
Something you may find helpful to keep in mind is that you can shift your focus from increasing your personal power to increasing your effectiveness. This applies to whatever personal power means to you. This perspective puts a different slant on how to expand your power; maybe this even makes it feel easier, doable, and less ambiguous. This pathway opens you to inspired ideas, and to pay attention to what works and creates improvements, rather than on what you judge as broken or on what you perceive as wrong with you.
Let’s look at ways you may deplete your effectiveness:
*Time, Energy, or Money is put towards something your heart really isn’t into.
*Make choices that are not in your best interest or are not appropriate for you.
*Thoughts, self-talk, and actions aren’t focused on desired results.
*Add steps that are not really needed to get desired results.
*Allow time-draining tasks then get used to engaging in time-draining activities.
*Focus is placed on too many goals or improvements at once, which results in being scattered or overwhelmed.
*Make disempowering choices, which makes making disempowering choices easier and easier, even if the results are undesired.
*Have a to-do list without priorities, direction, or purpose.
*Give time, energy, or money to anything that doesn’t provide a return in some measure, whether that’s of a spiritual, emotional, or tangible nature. This includes foods and beverages, people, volunteer work, studies, activities, etc.
Let’s look at ways you can enhance your effectiveness:
*Put time, energy, and money into what feels worthy to you and that your heart is into.
*Trust that consistent small improvements, rather than massive action, are more effective and lasting; understanding that the very thought of massive action may cause you to never get organized, much less get started.
*Plan and take some effective action every day.
*Recognize that although learning is an action and is effective, real effectiveness happens when you put what you learn into practice, and modify as needed.
*Exchange what slows or holds off desired results for what creates or moves toward desired results.
Although Personal Power can take many forms, three elements support it: time, energy, and money. When you deplete one, you deplete the other two. When you enhance one, you enhance the other two.
You have all the personal power you need. It’s a matter of directing it better and deliberately. Here’s how you can put this into practice: Pick an area of your life that you want to improve. Use the depleting and enhancing information offered here as a guide for one week. Look at ways you know are effective in a positive, productive way and use them. Try new ways on and see how they work, with no concept of failure involved, just research, testing, and assessment of results. Maybe pick one of the three elements to focus on: better time-usage choices, better choices that support your energy, or better money choices. Keep notes about how your actions on one element affect the other two. Notice how the three elements work as a team.
If you’re ready to increase your effectiveness, start at the inner level, especially with deliberately supportive self-talk and thinking; it will ripple outward into your life in ways you appreciate. Put improved effectiveness into practice, and enjoy feeling more personally powerful in your life.
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
This week’s State of Appreciation is live! http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Belief, Faith, Knowing: What’s the Difference?
Others and I have used the words belief, faith, and knowing interchangeably, but I’ve realized there’s a difference. It’s important to use the right word to arrive at the desired state of mind.
Mark Twain said, “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” In my experience, Knowing is fed by Faith, and Faith is fed by Belief. This means Belief is the first “rung” on that particular ladder. And that means you get to Knowing through the ability to believe in a particular way—and putting it into practice.
BELIEF
Desired Belief—the ability to believe something positive and in our favor—is tricky for many people. We’re so practiced with doubt and worry, that landing on Belief can be challenging. Belief has its own ladder; and this is why you have to be honest about which rung you can comfortably put your foot on, in order to climb it. Say you’ve struggled with weight for years. You may say you’re going to lose 50 pounds and keep it off, but not really believe it. However, you may be able to say and believe that you know how to lose two pounds a week and that you will do what it takes to make that improvement each week until you reach your desired weight, and maintain it.
A quick way to get into a Belief state is to feel, as a possibility, “Why not?!” Why not allow that your desired outcome could happen? It takes as much energy to believe it can’t or won’t happen as it does to believe it could; but could feels better and opens you to a greater chance of fulfillment. Here’s how a typical mental conversation might go: “It could happen, so why not?! Well, maybe I don’t deserve it.” Consider people who have what you might desire and whose deserve-quotient you might question. Does “deserve” really fit? No, it doesn’t. Deserve is an imposed perception, not a rule; and what you believe about what you deserve opens or blocks receiving. The creative energy doesn’t judge whether you deserve, it supplies what you believe.
Belief happens through repetition—positive or negative—mental, verbal, or repetitive actions. This is why we can fool ourselves and stay with the surface appearance rather than go deeper, where Universal Truth is found: We are what we think. Fortunately, we can decide to choose what we think; though, we may choose to ignore this truth and its inherent potential to influence life in our favor. We can also choose to improve what needs improvement at the outer level, which builds self-belief. “I believe I could improve this” is a good “lower rung” if “I will improve this” feels out of reach initially.
Belief that what happened in the past Is What Is, affects your power to believe in what’s possible now or in the future. Decide to stop letting the past prevent you from receiving your present and future. Here’s a tip that works: Each night, repeat three times to yourself: “As I sleep, I have one or more dreams that cause me to…” Work on only one desired result at a time; but you can ask to feel happy, confident, inspired, to be attuned to needed resources—whatever you feel would benefit you most at the moment. Keep it simple.
FAITH
When we deliberately practice influencing what and how we believe, and do this in our favor—and make it a point to observe small and large evidences of this working, we build faith that what we believe influences what we receive and how we experience life.
Faith is the absence of doubt; but, how to do you get to that place? You can start with “Why not?!” and call up one or more memories of times you believed something good would happen in your favor—and it did. This deliberate way of thinking connects you with the feeling you had when something worked out, maybe the way you hoped and maybe in a way even better than you imagined—or even if that meant it didn’t work out, and that was in your favor, too. Faith comes from connecting to the feeling when your best interests were met and deciding to trust they’ll be met in your favor again… and again.
KNOWING
Knowing is an intuitive connection to the flow of creative energy. It’s when your desired result or experience is in harmony with the bigger picture—and you feel, with faith, that something wonderful on its way to you. I love these moments. Sometimes they seem to just happen, but most times it’s because I deliberately moved myself through belief and faith memories to stimulate the feeling of knowing that I’m part of—a participant in—something larger, and in partnership with the creative energy that always works in my favor, despite appearances at times. Sometimes I know something specific is on its way, and sometimes I just know something for my good is on its way.
At every present moment, we know only a part of the bigger picture. A state of Knowing feels easier to enter when you allow this as a fact; and because of past experiences, you release every thought or emotion except one: trust. The creative energy loves appreciation and it loves trust that puts you into a state of knowing that the energy works in your behalf at all times.
Just like the weight example in the Belief segment, you may need to start with one matter at a time rather than frustrating yourself by attempting to be in a state of belief, faith, and knowing at all times. Allow yourself to grow each of the three, as needed. This way of thinking—in order to reach these states of mind—is a practice; and those who feel them fully more often practice them more often.
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
This week’s State of Appreciation is live! http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
Mark Twain said, “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” In my experience, Knowing is fed by Faith, and Faith is fed by Belief. This means Belief is the first “rung” on that particular ladder. And that means you get to Knowing through the ability to believe in a particular way—and putting it into practice.
BELIEF
Desired Belief—the ability to believe something positive and in our favor—is tricky for many people. We’re so practiced with doubt and worry, that landing on Belief can be challenging. Belief has its own ladder; and this is why you have to be honest about which rung you can comfortably put your foot on, in order to climb it. Say you’ve struggled with weight for years. You may say you’re going to lose 50 pounds and keep it off, but not really believe it. However, you may be able to say and believe that you know how to lose two pounds a week and that you will do what it takes to make that improvement each week until you reach your desired weight, and maintain it.
A quick way to get into a Belief state is to feel, as a possibility, “Why not?!” Why not allow that your desired outcome could happen? It takes as much energy to believe it can’t or won’t happen as it does to believe it could; but could feels better and opens you to a greater chance of fulfillment. Here’s how a typical mental conversation might go: “It could happen, so why not?! Well, maybe I don’t deserve it.” Consider people who have what you might desire and whose deserve-quotient you might question. Does “deserve” really fit? No, it doesn’t. Deserve is an imposed perception, not a rule; and what you believe about what you deserve opens or blocks receiving. The creative energy doesn’t judge whether you deserve, it supplies what you believe.
Belief happens through repetition—positive or negative—mental, verbal, or repetitive actions. This is why we can fool ourselves and stay with the surface appearance rather than go deeper, where Universal Truth is found: We are what we think. Fortunately, we can decide to choose what we think; though, we may choose to ignore this truth and its inherent potential to influence life in our favor. We can also choose to improve what needs improvement at the outer level, which builds self-belief. “I believe I could improve this” is a good “lower rung” if “I will improve this” feels out of reach initially.
Belief that what happened in the past Is What Is, affects your power to believe in what’s possible now or in the future. Decide to stop letting the past prevent you from receiving your present and future. Here’s a tip that works: Each night, repeat three times to yourself: “As I sleep, I have one or more dreams that cause me to…” Work on only one desired result at a time; but you can ask to feel happy, confident, inspired, to be attuned to needed resources—whatever you feel would benefit you most at the moment. Keep it simple.
FAITH
When we deliberately practice influencing what and how we believe, and do this in our favor—and make it a point to observe small and large evidences of this working, we build faith that what we believe influences what we receive and how we experience life.
Faith is the absence of doubt; but, how to do you get to that place? You can start with “Why not?!” and call up one or more memories of times you believed something good would happen in your favor—and it did. This deliberate way of thinking connects you with the feeling you had when something worked out, maybe the way you hoped and maybe in a way even better than you imagined—or even if that meant it didn’t work out, and that was in your favor, too. Faith comes from connecting to the feeling when your best interests were met and deciding to trust they’ll be met in your favor again… and again.
KNOWING
Knowing is an intuitive connection to the flow of creative energy. It’s when your desired result or experience is in harmony with the bigger picture—and you feel, with faith, that something wonderful on its way to you. I love these moments. Sometimes they seem to just happen, but most times it’s because I deliberately moved myself through belief and faith memories to stimulate the feeling of knowing that I’m part of—a participant in—something larger, and in partnership with the creative energy that always works in my favor, despite appearances at times. Sometimes I know something specific is on its way, and sometimes I just know something for my good is on its way.
At every present moment, we know only a part of the bigger picture. A state of Knowing feels easier to enter when you allow this as a fact; and because of past experiences, you release every thought or emotion except one: trust. The creative energy loves appreciation and it loves trust that puts you into a state of knowing that the energy works in your behalf at all times.
Just like the weight example in the Belief segment, you may need to start with one matter at a time rather than frustrating yourself by attempting to be in a state of belief, faith, and knowing at all times. Allow yourself to grow each of the three, as needed. This way of thinking—in order to reach these states of mind—is a practice; and those who feel them fully more often practice them more often.
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
This week’s State of Appreciation is live! http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
Monday, October 10, 2011
The Power of a Firm Decision
Whatever you believe is involved in improvement or success, the power of a decision is key. It will help if you understand what this really means.
A firm decision is one without discord, or one that transmutes any discord that makes an appearance. A firm decision is made and a knowing exists—that, without doubt, what’s been decided will happen, even if you have no idea how, at the start. A knowing, faith, or belief supports firm decisions to become reality. Without a firm decision and belief, all you have is a wish. A firm decision has power, a wish doesn’t. This is because a firm decision has a level of clarity and focus about a desired result, even if aspects are unknown and are discovered and managed along the way.
If you’ve ever found yourself struggling in any area of your life, which is very different from facing and meeting challenges, it’s because a firm decision has not been made. If you think of times when you made a firm decision to do something—anything at all—you did whatever it took for however long it took to get it done, whether that’s de-clutter your closet that took a weekend or complete a course of study that took years.
Everything begins with an idea. The idea to, say, clear out your closet seems to move straight into the action of doing the task. But, there is a middle step: the firm decision. Many firm decisions happen quickly. They are often so subtle you don’t even recognize them as what they are. Firm decisions move you from inspired idea to productive action. Reflect on the most recent time this happened for you, even if it was to refill your coffee cup, and you did. Allow yourself to feel what that middle step—firm decision—felt like for you, so you become familiar with it.
I watched a brief video about The Reality Architects. They mentioned an elderly woman who, for decades, has won every contest she’s entered. I asked myself what had to be in place, at her inner level, for this to be her reality. My answer was a firm decision with no discord. Discord is a contrast that points out one or more doubts exist. How many buy lottery tickets or enter contests with some discord whispering doubt in their minds, and either silently or aloud state, even before the action is taken, “I knew I wouldn’t win”? How many times do we make what we believe is a firm decision, yet have in our minds some doubt that we’ll succeed, instead of a steadfast commitment to do so?
The discord aspect needs our attention, doesn’t it? You’ve made firm decisions before, without discord; and you’ve experienced desired results. Discord does not mean a firm decision wasn’t made. It does show us bumps and potholes on the inner road that we need to smooth out. Inner discord can be lack of confidence, which can be assisted by increasing competence. It can be flawed self-beliefs about what you deserve, or what you should want or should not want in life. These flawed beliefs may have been given to you by your family, friends, religion, culture, and from anyone who has intersected with your life since you were born.
When results seem to take a long time to arrive—and we aren’t witnessing real progress along the way that demonstrates we are moving in the right direction—it’s a good time to check in on the firmness of the original decision. This is where the feeling that goes with a firm decision comes in: if you don’t have that recognizable “knowing” or “belief” feeling, you need to revisit your decision, your belief level, or why you made the decision you did.
A firm decision is fueled by determination, even when challenges appear. Napoleon Hill, in his book Think and Grow Rich, uses the words—Definite Burning Desire. If you think about it, whether it’s to finally straighten a cluttered closet because the clutter has you exasperated or to pursue a certification or degree so you can practice something you feel passionate about, a definite, determined desire is there.
But, how many times, while growing up, did one or more people constructively instruct you about having a definite burning desire, what that might encompass, and what the rewards might be for acting on it? More than likely you were instructed to do what it took to fit into the mainstream, maybe even to be seen and not heard. If this has been your experience, it may have caused you to create to-do lists, but not Definite Burning Desires lists.
You may have heard “Name it and claim it,” but you may fear what others will think if you name and claim your definite burning desire, whether they’re still alive or not. You may even fear naming it, much less claiming it. The very idea may cause statements from the past to rush to mind like a storm wave onto the shore: Who do you think you are? What makes you think you’re so special? If you can’t do something right (perfectly the first time), don’t do it at all. Don’t risk it; go with a sure thing. That’s just stupid; no one will pay you for that! Why do you have to be different? What will people think? I’m sure you could add more statements you’ve heard from any number of people who didn’t know better than to repeat what they’d been told.
Sometimes, you make a firm decision, yet also find how you feel strengthens in firmness over time instead of feeling the “wallop of knowing” from the start you have at other times, like moving a dimmer light switch upward, gradually increasing the illumination. When this is your experience, you notice a shift in how you think about what you want and how determined you feel. You notice any discord that surfaces, but choose to focus more on what will work rather than what might not or hasn’t. Clarity about focused actions gradually sharpens as clarity about your desired result begins to take form. You seek more-specific information. You find that ideas about how to make your decision a reality increase in frequency—and in quality. You even begin to notice assistance coming to you from the universe, or whatever you call the creative source, through a variety of resources. You notice an increase in focused attention and a decrease in fretting.
A firm decision, even one that firms over time, is the “green light” to the creative source and to your own inner power source, to support you fully. A desired outcome realized is the result of a firm decision fueled by belief and unflinching determination. Could you benefit by putting this into practice more often… or right now?
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
This week’s State of Appreciation is live! http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
A firm decision is one without discord, or one that transmutes any discord that makes an appearance. A firm decision is made and a knowing exists—that, without doubt, what’s been decided will happen, even if you have no idea how, at the start. A knowing, faith, or belief supports firm decisions to become reality. Without a firm decision and belief, all you have is a wish. A firm decision has power, a wish doesn’t. This is because a firm decision has a level of clarity and focus about a desired result, even if aspects are unknown and are discovered and managed along the way.
If you’ve ever found yourself struggling in any area of your life, which is very different from facing and meeting challenges, it’s because a firm decision has not been made. If you think of times when you made a firm decision to do something—anything at all—you did whatever it took for however long it took to get it done, whether that’s de-clutter your closet that took a weekend or complete a course of study that took years.
Everything begins with an idea. The idea to, say, clear out your closet seems to move straight into the action of doing the task. But, there is a middle step: the firm decision. Many firm decisions happen quickly. They are often so subtle you don’t even recognize them as what they are. Firm decisions move you from inspired idea to productive action. Reflect on the most recent time this happened for you, even if it was to refill your coffee cup, and you did. Allow yourself to feel what that middle step—firm decision—felt like for you, so you become familiar with it.
I watched a brief video about The Reality Architects. They mentioned an elderly woman who, for decades, has won every contest she’s entered. I asked myself what had to be in place, at her inner level, for this to be her reality. My answer was a firm decision with no discord. Discord is a contrast that points out one or more doubts exist. How many buy lottery tickets or enter contests with some discord whispering doubt in their minds, and either silently or aloud state, even before the action is taken, “I knew I wouldn’t win”? How many times do we make what we believe is a firm decision, yet have in our minds some doubt that we’ll succeed, instead of a steadfast commitment to do so?
The discord aspect needs our attention, doesn’t it? You’ve made firm decisions before, without discord; and you’ve experienced desired results. Discord does not mean a firm decision wasn’t made. It does show us bumps and potholes on the inner road that we need to smooth out. Inner discord can be lack of confidence, which can be assisted by increasing competence. It can be flawed self-beliefs about what you deserve, or what you should want or should not want in life. These flawed beliefs may have been given to you by your family, friends, religion, culture, and from anyone who has intersected with your life since you were born.
When results seem to take a long time to arrive—and we aren’t witnessing real progress along the way that demonstrates we are moving in the right direction—it’s a good time to check in on the firmness of the original decision. This is where the feeling that goes with a firm decision comes in: if you don’t have that recognizable “knowing” or “belief” feeling, you need to revisit your decision, your belief level, or why you made the decision you did.
A firm decision is fueled by determination, even when challenges appear. Napoleon Hill, in his book Think and Grow Rich, uses the words—Definite Burning Desire. If you think about it, whether it’s to finally straighten a cluttered closet because the clutter has you exasperated or to pursue a certification or degree so you can practice something you feel passionate about, a definite, determined desire is there.
But, how many times, while growing up, did one or more people constructively instruct you about having a definite burning desire, what that might encompass, and what the rewards might be for acting on it? More than likely you were instructed to do what it took to fit into the mainstream, maybe even to be seen and not heard. If this has been your experience, it may have caused you to create to-do lists, but not Definite Burning Desires lists.
You may have heard “Name it and claim it,” but you may fear what others will think if you name and claim your definite burning desire, whether they’re still alive or not. You may even fear naming it, much less claiming it. The very idea may cause statements from the past to rush to mind like a storm wave onto the shore: Who do you think you are? What makes you think you’re so special? If you can’t do something right (perfectly the first time), don’t do it at all. Don’t risk it; go with a sure thing. That’s just stupid; no one will pay you for that! Why do you have to be different? What will people think? I’m sure you could add more statements you’ve heard from any number of people who didn’t know better than to repeat what they’d been told.
Sometimes, you make a firm decision, yet also find how you feel strengthens in firmness over time instead of feeling the “wallop of knowing” from the start you have at other times, like moving a dimmer light switch upward, gradually increasing the illumination. When this is your experience, you notice a shift in how you think about what you want and how determined you feel. You notice any discord that surfaces, but choose to focus more on what will work rather than what might not or hasn’t. Clarity about focused actions gradually sharpens as clarity about your desired result begins to take form. You seek more-specific information. You find that ideas about how to make your decision a reality increase in frequency—and in quality. You even begin to notice assistance coming to you from the universe, or whatever you call the creative source, through a variety of resources. You notice an increase in focused attention and a decrease in fretting.
A firm decision, even one that firms over time, is the “green light” to the creative source and to your own inner power source, to support you fully. A desired outcome realized is the result of a firm decision fueled by belief and unflinching determination. Could you benefit by putting this into practice more often… or right now?
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
This week’s State of Appreciation is live! http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
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