Impermanence Is Here to Stay

There are times we wish for change and times we dread it. To paraphrase the truth-filled saying, the only constant in life is change.

Our ego-aspect fools itself by believing what we have will always be there, will never change. It’s like a form of temporary amnesia or a dream-state we walk around in, whether this is about a change we would welcome or one we wouldn’t. The ego-aspect wants to believe the dream-state, more often than not, so it can feel secure and comfortable. But everything changes, doesn’t it, either by improving or by diminishing, until it’s a memory only. So, we can say there are two types of impermanence, as far as our ego-aspect is concerned: what is not our choice and what is.

We don’t like to feel uncomfortable or unsure. In fact, we often take it as a personal affront when something happens that causes us to have changes in our life that we (our ego-aspect that is) don’t desire.

But, family and friends move away or pass on; jobs change by our design or someone else’s; children are born and the family expands, as does its needs; the weather and even the planet bring about gradual or immediate changes: the list is endless because everything changes. Everything changes because we (and our planet) mature and age, and our needs and wants change through the years.

We are meant to be of service, in ways appropriate for us; meant to learn, evolve, and create betterment for ourselves and others. Some of the most significant innovations, inventions, and services might not be around today, were it not for necessity brought on by change being the “mother of invention.”

We are also meant to enjoy and appreciate what we have, while we have it. And when we see the signs of impending change, either from within or outside of us or both, we are meant to prepare ourselves for it. The first preparations should take place at the inner level. The next preparations should address anything at the outer level that we know we must do, are inspired to do, or that we intuit should be done, including right timing about these.

Sometimes change happens suddenly, and we feel shaken somewhat or to our core by it, even if we mentally, emotionally, or physically prepared a bit or a lot. But this is when the strength of our spiritual foundation and our relationship with Source can assist us, and is why we are meant to develop and strengthen these at all times. A true feeling of security comes from trust in Source, and self-trust; and the former supplies and nurtures the latter.

Awareness of impermanence – gentle awareness, not dwelling on it – can assist the quality of our experiences. When we’re in the dream-state, where everything we are happy about or comfortable with or at the very least feel “sure” of “stays the same,” we tend to miss or ignore how precious and special people and moments and experiences are. This kind of awareness or consciousness happens in the Now, and can only happen in the Now. The dream-state of “permanence” has us volleying back and forth between past and future; two moments we are never actually in. We are always in the Now. We are always in a state of impermanence. If you’re really brave – or have expanded or embraced conscious awareness at a certain level, you could say we’re always in a state of Divine Impermanence.

The dream-state can and does keep us out of appreciation. There’s a wonderful quote by Meister Eckhart that says, “If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” When ANY change happens, we could use this quote as a power statement to help us navigate our feelings, our fears, our strength, and our trust in Source.

Appreciation is best expressed as often as possible and as soon as we can enter that state of mind and being, rather than just when the ego-aspect believes a moment is worthy of it. To the ego-aspect, this differentiation of worthy or unworthy makes sense or seems logical and appropriate. Our spirit-aspect knows every moment is worthy of appreciation. Albert Einstein understood this when he said, “You either live as if everything is a miracle or nothing is a miracle.” Nicely said. Not always so easy to live up to; but we can aim ourselves in this direction and benefit by it.

Einstein’s statement reminds me of a powerful question you’ve possibly seen or heard before: Do you believe the Universe is friendly or unfriendly? Your response has ALL to do with your experience while here. And if your response is a result of what you learned in your formative years, you can either change your beliefs or enhance them, and do so in your favor. You are not locked into negative or non-beneficial beliefs. Remember, nothing but Source is permanent. Beliefs always change; real Truths never do. One of the most profound journeys you can ever make is the one that leads you to Truths that are permanent.

Begin to pay attention to what and who you appreciate (and what and who you don’t apply this practice to). Ask if your appreciation is as present and deep as you’d like as a means to enhance your experience of joy, love, fulfillment, curiosity, illumination, and becoming the person you intend to be. Or as Patti Davis wrote, “I’m learning how, at age 60, to become the person I want to leave behind on this earth.” It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.     

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

How Well Do You Cope with Change?

There are two types of change to be aware of—the type you desire and the type you don’t. Do you feel you manage yourself well enough through these?

Do You Want Your Life to Be Different?

If you desire change in some area of your life, the first thing that must change is whatever in you prevents or delays your desired outcome. Inevitably, your desired outcome is to feel the way you wish to feel about whatever it is that has your attention.

What are some ways you prevent or delay desired change?

You don’t allow it or make room for it. You cannot desire something to change and also believe it never will AND expect to see it as your reality. A good mantra for this is, “It COULD happen,” because it could! But it can’t if you don’t allow that it can.

Your thoughts, feelings, and words don’t support the change you desire—only what you don’t like. If you mentally replay and repeatedly say what you don’t like, you’ll never experience what you desire. What you feed is what grows. Whatever you criticize, it’s likely you’re doing the same thing, in some measure, without even realizing it. When you adjust this, you’ll notice the issue shifts, ends, or it no longer bothers you as it once did.

You believe that the outer experience must change BEFORE you have the inner experience you desire. Sorry, but that’s bassakwards according to how reality works. Ask yourself what may need to be adjusted in you, as ultimately, that is where you desire to feel the difference.

Ask yourself if the change requires you end or let go of something. If you’re truly unhappy about, say, your relationship with someone you believe will never change—and you know you cannot continue to live this way—make an exit plan. If a situation is genuinely intolerable, leave it. Just keep in mind the saying, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

Ask if perhaps your perceptions, assumptions, and expectations are off-center. Perceptions and assumptions, more often than not, lack enough information. Expectations are affected by our programmed beliefs and may not allow us to reassess and adjust as needed with a more open, relaxed attitude. This also leads us to burden others to provide what only we can provide to ourselves.

Do you wake every day and deliberately connect with a good feeling or do you immediately enter negative-mode?

Do you take a few moments throughout the day, and especially before you go to sleep, to feel genuine appreciation for the good you experienced during the day and the good you do have in your life, or do you have a gritch session streaming in your mind?

You’re impatient. It’s just not happening fast enough. First, go back through the above list and see which one or ones you’re engaging—and shift this. Everything in life has an incubation time before it’s hatched or born. This may be fast or slow, depending on what’s needed and how you’re managing your energy. When you genuinely trust that your best interests are always fulfilled (and get what that might mean), you release being so concerned about timing because you trust right timing. This is why it’s recommended you envision (with deep feeling) what you truly desire—then release the thought of it, as the tendency is to return to the thought of its non-presence rather than allow it to be yours, in the right timing.

It may be a “bitter pill to swallow,” but you can’t expect desired change until you realize in what way you’re part of the problem—and shift this. This kind of conscious awareness lets you feel more empowered, relaxed, and on purpose. And, isn’t that the point of any desired change?

When Change Happens to You

My iPEC training manual lists four cycles of change: Shuffle, Deal, Play the Game, Toss In.

Shuffle: You’ve faced an ending or know a change is at hand. Healing is needed, emotions run the gamut. It’s time for a new direction and you reassess where you are and explore where you want to go next. It’s scary and perhaps even a bit exciting, depending. You may feel you’ve lost control in some way, but realize new opportunities do exist.

Deal: You came up with a plan, feel optimistic, and begin to take next steps. You test the waters to see how they feel. If all feels good, your confidence builds and so does your commitment.

Play the Game: You are engaged with this new aspect or phase. You still reassess, but if you feel it’s going well, feel successful, you want it to continue. But as in any game, you still face challenges.

Toss In: Every cycle, whether considered a success or not, runs its course and it’s time for an ending or an upgrade. If an ending, you may wonder how you’ll manage to work through the cycle yet again—but you will. Momentum will slow as you enter the Shuffle phase to figure out what’s next.

What’s generally feared about this type of change is the unknown—what’s next and how you’ll handle yourself in the midst of it. Yet, without walking into the unknown from time to time (and every future moment is unknown), we enter stagnation. In time, stagnant waters offer nothing. Allow that some fear of change is natural, but let go of fearing the fear. Draw on your courage. Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but it is proactive. Action sets you free.

You are what you practice.
© 2010, Joyce Shafer