What Really Blocks the Good Stuff From You and Your Life?

Maybe you’ve been on the spirituality/metaphysical/Law of Attraction path for quite a while, yet don’t feel as in the flow as you’d like to or that it’s easy to get in the flow, no matter what you know. What’s up with that?

You may or may not like what this is really about, but until you take hold of it to help you move forward, you’ll likely stay frustrated in one or more areas of your life. Ernest Holmes got right to it when he wrote, “We are One with the Universe, and that Spirit flows through us at the level of our recognition and embodiment of it…. Spirit expresses itself through each individual at the level of his [or her] consciousness.”

Okay, so we have to face the truth that this is akin to water seeking and meeting its own level, which means the energy of what’s going on to us, for us, and through us meets our own consciousness level. And the only place energy and consciousness can increase is within us, by choice, intention, and commitment. So what blocks this from happening easily for us?

Ernest Holmes (again) said “The Spirit can do for us only what IT can do through us. Unless we are able to provide the consciousness, IT cannot make the gift.” Catherine Ponder said it this way: “God can only do for you what He can first do through your mental attitudes.” This leads us to look at our habit of thought, or said another way, our mental/emotional attitudes.

What happens when things are not going well for you? Your ego-aspect runs amok, for one, whether it’s about the state of your health, finances, business, job, relationships, and so on. It resists what’s happening, probably in a big way. Maybe it blames others, who may have been triggers, but it doesn’t want to take any responsibility, or take as much as it might, for perpetuating your mental/emotional discomfort. Maybe it expresses envy about others who aren’t having the same experiences (and ignores other experiences they may be having). Maybe it goes into self-pity and stays there. Maybe it starts talking in statements (thoughts) that oppose (are opposite of) your good and won’t shut up.

I just learned about a book and method called The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson, which I’ll read soon. You can look up his videos on YouTube (especially check out the one called “Emotion Code example” that runs almost 12 minutes). He points out that some of what blocks us may not even be ours. Wouldn’t that please the ego?! But, it could be true. It’s now ever more widely believed that we inherit more than just physical aspects through our DNA, we inherit non-physical ones, as well, such as beliefs. That sense of lack or any prevalent negativity you feel and haven’t been able to shake that you wear like a wool overcoat, for any area in life, may not be yours. You could be living your life according to one or more patterns that aren’t yours and can be easily released.

But, there are your own patterns to consider, as well. What happens when you hold onto resentment, fear, un-forgiveness, criticism, or any negative emotional attachment to any part of your past (and the past can be five minutes ago)? You create one or more blocks that cause you to unwillingly, unknowingly reject YOUR good that Source is eager to deliver to you, whether that’s health, finances, or whatever area of life you feel blocked in. Maybe you believe it’s more spiritual to give than receive, rather than realize it’s a loop of energy, so you block receiving. Any or all of these, when practiced, are why you ask and ask—maybe plead and plead, yet “it” doesn’t happen the way you desire and which your spiritual self knows it’s designed to and is meant to.

Neale Donald Walsch said that blocks we bump into are requests for our attention on unfinished business. More often than not, that unfinished business is about our mental/emotional attitude (but it could also be an emotion code). We’ve got crud in our stream that blocks the flow of our energy and our good, blocks our ability to be in flow and receive our good. So we keep asking and asking Source for what we need or desire, and Source patiently waits for us to clear the way for its delivery. Sometimes, we relax enough for some of our good to squeeze through to us. Maybe we recognize this for the demonstration of a mental/emotional attitude it is, or maybe we don’t.

Forgive yourself for not knowing better, as well as for anything you’ve been rejecting about yourself. Release others from your rejection of them, because like you, they picked up patterns that weren’t theirs, as well as sometimes just didn’t have a bleeping clue about what they were doing to themselves, much less to others, just as we all sometimes experience. Release the crud that your ego finds so tantalizing to dwell on and in. Swap those thoughts, every time they surface, with better thoughts, especially with the thought that you, from now on, choose to learn what you can, and will keep only the good from everything. Choose to now accept the possibility of what’s new and good. As Catherine Ponder also said, “Although we cannot force good into our life, we can invite it by dwelling on it.” Our good, our success, our relationship with Source are not usually what many dwell on most of the time.

When we dwell on and in opposing thoughts to our good, we create experiences that the ego takes as rejection from outside of us, when in fact it is we who are doing the rejecting of something, from a subconscious level. And what we reject for ourselves is actually something we reject about ourselves, because of patterns of beliefs we carry that need to be shed or shifted. Source would NEVER and will never reject us. So, it is us doing the rejecting. That’s worth looking into.

We also have to let go of the idea that our good can come to us from only one source or only a few sources. Source’s resources are INFINITE and always available to us, according to what is appropriate for us, which is something our spiritual self is directly involved in determining, not Source. As far as Source is concerned, if we ask and have the consciousness to allow and receive it, it’s ours. But we do have an inner coach (our Spirit) calling the game for our particular experience and evolution. Only when our ego-aspect works in opposition to our own inner spiritual coach do we hit roadblocks and detours. And even if some of our experiences are not what our ego-aspect would ever sign up for, our relationship with our inner spirit self allows us to say, “Show me.” And we can glean from our experiences that which will help us evolve in the way we came here to do, in each moment.

Another gem from Catherine Ponder about this is, “You do not so much attract what you want as what you are—according to your secret thoughts.” Any negative secret thoughts come from that chatterbox we call the ego-aspect. It gnaws on our mental and emotional attitudes the way beavers gnaw on trees. And it’s just as effective at damming (and damning) the flow as the dams beavers build. From Emma Curtis Hopkins, we get these wise words: “The world in which we live is the exact record of our thoughts. If we do not like the world we live in, then we do not like our thoughts.” This can be both a discomforting and comforting realization. But it also inspires us to monitor and shift our thoughts in order to shift our experiences.

I’m not just “whistling Dixie” about this topic: I’ve bumped up against it in a big way (more than a few times—if I had a dollar for every time…). As an image posted on a social site said, “If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” I had to look at how much of what I’ve learned and know is floating on the surface of my consciousness, meaning what I’ve yet to integrate as a mental attitude or way of being versus what I have integrated. And like me, maybe you’re doing this as well, not realizing that you aren’t, at times, actually practicing what you know the Truth to be (and instead are letting ego drive your bus); that knowing the Truth is never enough to get you where you want to go—you have to live the Truth to make the journey you truly desire to make.

I can say that this, as Ponder wrote, has been my (repeated) experience: “…when we dissolve the barriers of repellent thought and substitute a receptive attitude of mind, good things come to us in unexpected and wonderful ways, and sometimes with a promptness that is astonishing.” Now, I just have to practice remembering this and living it more than I sometimes do, and especially when I’ve allowed my ego-aspect to get my mental and emotional knickers in a knot.

Why don’t we practice what we know as we should or could? It’s because we often practice opposing thoughts yet are unaware of this because of the emotions we feel and are justified to feel, but get stuck there. We may practice patterns that may or may not be ours. What also blocks us is if we have somehow become locked into the negativity of others. In the Bible, there’s the story of Jesus going to the home where the daughter had died. When he got there, all the mourners told him there was nothing he could do about it. He knew differently, but he also knew something else; and this knowledge caused him to kick everyone out so he could do what he knew he could. It’s not always easy to put an end to or remove ourselves from the negativity in our lives, but it is imperative to do this as much as we can so we can function and perform what we know we’re capable of. Not doing something to shift negativity or remove ourselves from its influence is more often than not a form of self-rejection (ouch!), not necessarily stoicism, which does have its place, but is a wholly different energy.

So, we need to look at the blocks we practice without realizing it or without realizing how fully they affect us, such as self-rejection, in all its forms and influences. We need to look at how much we carry the past around with us and resolve to release all but the good we can extract from past experiences. We need to look at our attachment to self-pity and shift this by embracing our relationship with Source and allowing Source to supply and support us. We need to discover whether or not patterns we practice are actually ours or if we picked them up from others, and then release these patterns, no matter their origin. We need to become better at identifying our opposing thoughts and replacing them with supportive ones. And, we need to love and accept ourselves as we are and as we evolve, and honor this, be available to it. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.          

         

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

What’s Your Inner Game?

Accomplishing what we desire for ourselves or our lives is sometimes or often a struggle. Strategy is important, but your inner game has all to do with it, as well. Maybe it’s time to review yours.

Coach Jeanna Gabellini offered a free e-book with the intriguing title, “10-Minute Money Makers.” So of course I wanted to see what she had to say about this. It was not exactly what I expected—it was better. She addressed practical matters in her usual excellent fashion, but Jeanna reminded readers of something vital in order to create desired life experiences: your inner game is more powerful than any strategy.

As I read through her e-book, I made notes and added my own thoughts. In particular, I made notes to read each morning to get my inner mental and emotional game going. I’d like to share some of my notes with you, because although they can apply to business and finances, as Jeanna addressed in her material, they absolutely can apply to everything.

• Mindset matters. It creates a smooth path or detours and bumpy roads.
• If what you’re doing feels ploddingly hard or difficult, STOP. This means that timing is off, or your strategy is not aligned with your values, or you’ve got to shift a belief so you can move forward.
• The best results happen when you’re grounded and confident.
• No looking at your past “reality” as though it is likely to or will repeat. You’re creating your present and future right now, perhaps based in part on what you learned from past experiences, but mostly from the vision of your desired now and future.
• No beating yourself up about the current state of any area of your life you intend to improve. Just start taking steps to improve it.
• Let go of “trying hard” to find a miracle solution for any issue that has your attention. Tune in to your inner guide AND tell Source you ask for and allow yourself to receive the right solution.
• Never sell your soul to create or receive anything you desire. Work with and trust Source to assist you in appropriate ways.
• Attach your energy to providing service, making a difference, and prosperity and abundance.
• Do what you can, and feel good about it.
• Don’t diminish yourself in any way, for any reason, especially not out of desperation.
• Baby steps create momentum. Once you take a first or next step, trust the momentum, without any attachment to results. Attachment to results pulls you out of creative power. Your happiness does not depend on results.
• If you constantly worry, about anything, you’ll create behaviors based in and on fear. You’ll establish neural pathways in your brain that take you down paths (or ruts) that lead to more of the same. Create better pathways for your brain to follow. Working with and trusting Source helps to do this, as well as letting go of old stories and envisioning new, desired ones.
• Decide to receive what you desire. You don’t have to know the how for this decision to be effective and to attract what you desire to you. The how will reveal itself to you or surprise you, at the right time.
• Check on your relationship with, rather than to, life. What is your vibe about life: fear or enthusiasm?
• Stop trying so darn hard and have fun!
• Identify and assess anything and anyone misusing and or depleting your resources of time, energy, or money, as well as what kind of ending may be needed.

That last bulleted item is a big one. Dr. Henry Cloud reaches into the heart of it in his book Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward. And he gets to the crux of the matter right at the start of the Preface when he states this: “In your business and perhaps your life, the tomorrow that you desire and envision may never come to pass if you do not end some things you are doing today.”

The good cannot begin until the bad ends, as Dr. Cloud clarifies. This includes pruning whatever it is in your inner game that holds you back, as well as any outside influences having a negative effect on you and your life; though, he recommends that sometimes even the good has to be pruned to make way for the best. This may feel like one of those “easier said than done” bits of advice for anyone who has not learned how to do this pruning in the right way, perhaps fears it, or has yet to realize how significant pruning can be to any form of sustainability of your time, energy, and money—your three top resources. Your inner game needs to include necessary endings, which are a natural part of life, as well as whatever supports and strengthens your mindset. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.          

           

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

Whenever There’s A Storm, Open Both Doors (Negative Emotions)

The article title is not advice for inclement weather, but for times when life brings inner storms into our experience. It’s advice to keep in mind for good reason.

A character in the PBS program “Call the Midwife” was a former prisoner of war and was talking with a midwife who’d been put into an internment camp when she was nine years old and had to watch her mother and sister die gradually of various abuses and starvation. He realized the midwife was harboring ghosts of her past in her present, and told her that his mother always opened the front and back doors of their home when it stormed. The reasoning she’d given him when he was a child was that this way, any misery from the storm couldn’t find a home there. It would blow through.

This made me think of how much debris from prior and current negative emotional experiences we hold onto, mostly because we aren’t taught to open both “doors” so the debris doesn’t find a home inside of us, by others who also never learned this or never figured it out for themselves. Because of this, we tend to let these negative- or traumatic-emotion squatters take up residence within us. We harbor them like the criminals they are. We feed them as though they are paying visitors rather than the intruders they are on our joy and peace. We’re the ones who pay for letting them stay.

Most of us are familiar with the quote “This too shall pass,” but we usually consider this to mean the experience will end eventually. We can enhance this and decide to let it also mean we are to allow our negative attachment to the experience pass through us as well. Otherwise, the experience doesn’t really end for us, does it? We keep it alive. We repeat the story of it to ourselves and others, perhaps over and over. We dredge it up or it rises to the surface whenever we’re triggered in a particular way, as though a thought we have rushes to a filing system to call up supporting evidence for why we have a right to feel as we do, when in fact, what it means is that there is a wound that needs to be healed.

How we treat ourselves as a result is we don’t love and approve of ourselves as fully as we ought to. We feed low self-esteem or false arrogance and or behaviors that don’t serve us or bring us joy or peace or fulfillment. We feel less, so expect less. We don’t feel whole. We wear our past like a garment—we brush our teeth with it—rather than embrace our present and anticipate our future from a positive perspective, mindset, and state of being.

How we treat others as a result is often with an undercurrent of anger, frustration, or fear. We react to them more often, perhaps, than we engage and make real connection with them. We don’t trust ourselves, which we project onto them. We don’t trust them, because they project ourselves back to us, whether we realize this and are discomforted by the mirrored image or we don’t realize it and we blame them for how we continue to feel, sometimes long after a negative experience has happened.

How we respond to life as a result is we don’t trust life. We don’t believe or allow ourselves to believe that life loves and supports us, and this mindset prevents life from fully reflecting love and support back to us as our experience. We don’t or we hesitate to take calculated risks and stretch ourselves so we can learn and grow and expand our consciousness and our experiences. We hold ourselves back from our authenticity and fulfillment.

In Dave Markowitz’s book Self-Care for the Self-Aware: A Guide for Highly Sensitive People, Empaths, Intuitives, and Healers, which, by the way is an excellent book for anyone who needs to deal with grief and negativity, he includes a technique called the Keyhole. It’s a technique akin to the prisoner-of-war character’s open-both-doors philosophy. Dave realized that when we find ourselves in the midst of negative energy, or know we will, the energy will enter us energetically (he explains why energy shields are not as effective as we’d like or expect). That energy then gets trapped inside us.

This is not far-fetched. Just think of the last time you were with someone negative and how you felt during and after that interaction, possibly for a long while. Their negativity was absorbed and carried around by you, unless you used an effective technique to prevent this or to release it. Dave even states it’s important to not let the negative energy touch the sides of the Keyhole—that is, touch you in any way. The negative storm moves through your Keyhole without touching you, without any of it glomming onto you. That’s an image that’s valuable.

In life, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.” So many around us practiced holding onto and allowing emotional suffering to take them over that we couldn’t help but to absorb this as a natural way to be and behave. We feel bad about ourselves or feel we’ll be judged a bad person if we don’t do life this way, until of course, we learn better.

Perhaps this image may assist you. Do this the next time you’re triggered, or you might deliberately choose some emotional energy you want to be rid of now. Imagine that emotional energy as a bit or pile of debris on the floor in the hallway that connects to the front and back doors of your home (your inner self). You go to the back door and open it. You go to the front door and open it, standing aside. You invite the Great Breath of Source to blow every bit of that debris out through the back door and up into the ethers, which Source is delighted to do for you as an act of total love and support for you. Every bit of that hallway is now sparkling clean and fresh. Your ideal experience, and maybe it will take more than one such cleaning, is for what once triggered you or held you back to be a mere memory that no longer holds your attention for more than a brief second, if that. 

I realize that this is good advice but not necessarily easy to practice, especially if you’ve had a life-long habit of taking negativity in and not knowing exactly how to deal with it. It’s especially challenging to remember when you’re in the midst of an emotional storm. But, just as it’s a good idea to remove clutter from your living and work spaces, it’s a good idea to remove clutter from your inner home, so that you can move around in there with the same ease and grace and constructive, productive function you desire from your physical spaces. Such openness leads to inspired ideas and an inspired life.

And when you know a storm is coming, or suddenly find yourself in one, if you can remember to open both doors within your energy, do so. If you don’t happen to remember this at the time, remember to use a technique as soon as you can or it feels appropriate for you, to clear any residual negative energy so that you return your inner home to its true beauty, joy, and peace. It may take time, patience, and practice. But… It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.         

           

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

Does Perfectionism Impede Your Life Experience?

Do you confuse being authentic or successful with being perfect? How’s that working for you so far, or for those you know who practice this?

Perfectionists believe their value or worth (especially self-worth) as individuals is arrived at by virtue of what they do perfectly or by being seen as perfect or always right, rather than by who they are at their core (like the rest of us) or what they can contribute. They may apply this philosophy to others, as well. When they or others don't perform to their standards—even if those standards are unrealistic, which perfectionism always is—they seldom, if ever, pause to ask what is working right, and why, and how they can expand this into areas that would benefit from improvements. (A perfectionist—and proud of it—boss I worked for once said he didn’t want to focus on what was working right, only on what was wrong. You can imagine how much fun he was to work with.)

A favorite thought or saying of someone affected by perfectionism might be: "If everyone would just do what they are supposed to, everything would be the way it is supposed to be," as though life has a strict blueprint to be followed by everyone. These types “should” on people quite often. We might wish this blueprint concept were so at times, both for ourselves and for those we interact with, so life could seem easier and clear-cut, but that’s just not the way it is.

Thinking this way is actually more about how the perfectionist feels about himself or herself than it is about the others they aim this thought at. I’ve even known perfectionists who believe others should be mind-readers so they know what the perfectionist expects, without having to be told. Sometimes, anticipating what another expects or needs works out or is a good idea, but most of the time, we’re a bit busy focusing on other things, including our own issues, desires, and needs. Mind-reading shouldn’t be a requirement placed on anyone.

During life empowerment coach training, we learned that all of us must start where we are, acknowledge what is in the moment, and then move forward from there. Over the course of our lives, most of us have witnessed scenarios where someone insisted on nothing less than perfection from themselves and others. Perhaps we've even done this, to some extent, ourselves. Not only is perfectionism not realistic, it isn’t a goal—really, it isn’t, though many try to make it so for themselves and others. If you practice perfectionism, how can you accept where you are right now in order to influence where you intend to go and how you will experience your journey along the way, in a manner that cuts out a lot of the frustration and stress perfectionism causes? And if you can’t accept and allow this about yourself, how can you practice compassion, understanding, support, and encouragement with others?

Perfectionists, in my experience at least, do not have a tendency to focus on conscious awareness or personal growth—or if they do, they feel their inner work is deep when it’s actually shallow. This is because they are too focused on being perceived as right and unflawed. What an exhausting and frustrating way to live, for the perfectionist and those they live or interact with. Someone who is always right or unflawed (or, rather, deeply craves to be seen as such so they can believe this about themselves) can’t afford to demonstrate a need to do the inner work. That would mean something was “wrong” with them. Their egos don’t set to that place on their life and personal development dial. There’s either growth or there’s stagnation: the choice is ours.

What would a person's experiences, and the world as a whole, look like if we understood that life is an ever-changing process and that we process life and influence our reality through the thoughts, feelings, and actions we choose each moment to accommodate the changes we encounter? People who strive for perfection often have difficulty making decisions and moving forward, or when they do make decisions or move forward, it isn’t as enjoyable or fulfilling for them as it might be—or, likely, for others involved. It's no wonder they have trouble doing so! Take a moment to think about their energy and where that energy is focused. It's all about the individual and their ego-aspect’s demanding needs. It's constrictive rather than creative and or collaborative. It’s about doing for the sake of approval, not Being for the sake of having a fulfilling life experience.

Empowerment comes from embracing the perfection inherent in what is seemingly imperfect, as well as the imperfection in what is seemingly perfect. Who cannot recall having an experience that appeared, at first, to be negative only to discover a valuable purpose in it or for it at some later time? Or maybe the opposite happened and what seemed ideal turned out not to be. Why did this realization happen, if it’s happened to you? Because you processed the experience at an inner and outer level, no matter how long it took for that to happen.

When we actively, consciously engage in process, we waste nothing that comes to us as an experience to help us expand conscious awareness and grow from there. Perfectionists are not interested in process, as a rule, because of what I mentioned earlier: it may mean there’s something about them they need to work on or balance, and that can be a too-painful realization for them.

Process allows us to discover more of what we can about ourselves in relation to everyone and every situation that enters our lives. It is our opportunity to decide how to move forward, how to grow. Perfectionism stops us where we stand, even if we appear to move forward in our outer lives. It is an illusion, and it traps and constricts us because the life experience is not authentic and flowing, but forced. Illusions eventually get revealed as what they are. You want a stronger inner foundation and outer experience than this.

Perfection has rigid rules and is, as I said, not realistic. Excellence, however, is doable, attainable, and realistic. Excellence allows for creative expression and for us to move forward to the next level as we move along in our lives. Perfectionists believe there is only one level: perfection, which is an enervating path to follow. Those who aim at excellence realize there’s always a next level to aim for and go to, that we do learn from missteps, which is an innovative and life-affirming path to follow.

Every moment and experience provides us with an opportunity to assess what we want to glean from it, how we want to use it, and how we can grow from it. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.       

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

Choose to Unclutter You and Your New Year Now

Inner clutter happens when your focus isn’t on the appropriate point of attention. So, what is the appropriate point of attention?

A clutter coach gets contacted when an individual's living or working space gets disorganized to the point that the person can no longer function as efficiently as they'd like to or need to. A process is then engaged that involves getting rid of what no longer serves the person, creation of a system of organization that suits the person's particular needs and wants, and a commitment to attend to clutter in a timely fashion from that moment on. This process easily fits a person’s life, as well: a life coach or therapist is contacted when clutter happens at the inner level, which causes life to feel chaotic or unmanageable, and a commitment to shift this is made.

One way we clutter our lives is when we don't look after our best interests, which is supposed to be our ever-present, appropriate point of attention. Sure, we may do this for ourselves most or many times, and in specific areas of our lives, but we can usually identify one or several areas of our lives where we falter in this regard. For example, we may feel guilty or selfish if we don't always put others’ needs before ours, even if this harms us health-wise or impinges on our quality of life. Perhaps we forget or don’t know that when we honor boundaries, this leads us to recognize who is responsible for what, rather than over-burdening ourselves with emotional baggage that is someone else’s responsibility to carry and work on, or burdening others in this way.

Inner and outer clutter causes us to feel there is something off in our lives (outer clutter often occurs as a result of inner clutter that’s unrecognized or denied). We may believe that if we wait a while, the situation will balance itself or go away. This isn’t necessarily an untrue belief, but we have to discern the difference between trust in the Universe and its natural flow of energy, and the avoidance of appropriate action. Maybe we shove against a metaphorical brick wall, rather than look for a more appropriate way to move forward.

Maybe we believe that as spiritual or metaphysical types, we have to suppress or deny any or every negative feeling we have, forgetting that these are messages from our higher self, sent to assist us in our physical experience of life and personal growth. We need to ask ourselves what we feel, rather than think, about what’s going on, as well as what we'd like to do to shift a situation or us. If we peeled away the layers of bad feelings that happen when life is not going the way we'd prefer, we'd find at the core or heart of the matter that when we don't look out for our best interests, we enter a state of self-rejection.

Self-rejection clutters our minds, hearts, and lives quickly, and in some circumstances, thoroughly—like a blanket thrown over us on a warm night, causing us to feel smothered. Consider all the thoughts, feelings, and actions that might be attached to self-rejection, and the myriad ways that self-rejection may manifest in our life. We practice self-rejection when we fear cutting our losses. We stay in a situation longer than we should, or don’t speak up or take constructive action as quickly as we might, often because we fear what will happen if we do, otherwise referred to as fear of the unknown or even fear of feeling fear. If you attempt to restore balance and it doesn't work, do you know why you don't move on, from either where you are or how you perceive and handle events? Many don't choose to make a move or shift until it becomes more painful to stay where and how they are than it is to make a change, no matter how much this may scare them.

A new year, like a new day, offers the promise of a fresh start. Unclutter you and your life by giving conscious attention to what is in your best interest, what is truly appropriate for you and your life. I'm talking about the kind of best interest that is based in conscious awareness, not the ego-based selfish kind. Always choose to honor yourself, and do so from a place of personal integrity, which helps you to stay strong. You don't want to be rash in your decisions, nor angrily aggressive: that will lower your energy and amplify any self-rejection feelings you already have even more. If you need to make a plan, whether for inner, outer, or both aspects, do so; then follow your plan and adjust it as needed.

Unclutter your mind and heart through your intention and commitment to make your life one of quality and fulfillment and grace. Don't be afraid to cut your losses if something really doesn't work, especially if no matter what you do, nothing changes or it gets even worse. Believe me, I know from personal experience how these suggestions can feel easier said than done, but we owe it to ourselves to keep moving forward on this. Because, on the other side of that decision is a field of potential and opportunities and good feelings waiting for you to show up so you can live the life you came here to live and feel about yourself the way you desire to feel. “Do not wait: the time will never be 'just right'. Start where you stand, and work whatever tools you may have at your command and better tools will be found as you go along.” – Napoleon Hill

My wish and hope for you and all of us as we move into the upcoming holidays then into a new year is that we honor who we are and came here to be as ever-evolving, ever-learning and growing individuals. That we choose to treat others as we want them to treat us instead of how they treat us; that we treat everyone how we should treat ourselves, including ourselves, if we aren’t doing the best job we could of that. We could unclutter our lives, and the world, if we put this into practice. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.        

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer