Saturday, January 30, 2010

How Big Does Your Dream Need to Be?

Many individuals don’t go after their dream because they don’t think they can, should, it’s too small, or “don’t know” what it is. Are any of these holding you back?

Two inspirational videos were emailed to me: one about a dog named Ricochet and one about Rudy Ruettiger, for whom the popular movie Rudy is about. The links are available on the Resources page of my Website, and that link is in my bio. Both are worth a watch, especially if you feel life purpose- or dream-challenged.

What can you learn from a dog?

Ricochet was easy to train, and trained she was to assist a disabled person. There was just one problem: her nature was to chase birds, which meant she could never be trusted not to dash off. Her disappointed trainer decided to focus on what Ricochet COULD do. She also decided to let go of who she wanted Ricochet to be and let her BE who she is. Ricochet wasn’t able to help one individual, as originally planned—she helps thousands and inspires as many. Her life purpose turned out to be something other than was planned for her. Granted, Ricochet didn’t have a dream, but the message of her experience and outcome serves and inspires anyone who struggles to flourish as their authentic selves.

Then there’s Rudy.

Rudy had the power of a dream. Many might have considered his dream too small or insignificant—or, as in the minds of some he met along the way, “not based in reality.” We’re encouraged to dream big and be realistic, right?

Akin to the outcome for Ricochet, Rudy’s dream was fulfilled; but the outcome did and continues to this day, to inspire millions. This was never a result Rudy had in mind or imagined—which only goes to show . . .

We can never anticipate how large a ripple going for and achieving our dream, no matter its size, will create. Nor should that necessarily be our primary focus.

Dream Big—that is probably exactly what some need to hear. Others may be better served by Dream Your Authentic Dream. You want to watch not to let the opinions and judgments of others stifle who you are and what you are passionate about experiencing in your life.

Do you know what your dream is?

When I ask someone, “What is your dream?” and they answer, “I don’t know,” my next question is, “If you did know, what might it be?” They think maybe I wasn’t paying attention to what they just said; and then, they find they do have an answer. It’s really a matter of asking a better question or asking a question differently.

We’re conditioned and continue to be so, to consider any dream or goal that isn’t BIG, as unworthy. If this—or any reason—is an issue for you, take a look at the two-part Rudy video and see if you still feel that way about your dream.

A few don’ts . . .
Don’t let anyone persuade you from your dream or passionate commitment, or allow anything to stand in your way.
Don’t believe you have to have only one dream or one purpose in life.
Don’t believe you must do what you’re really good at (or trained to do) if you don’t absolutely love it.
Don’t believe you can’t do something you love unless you’re an expert or master—do it, keep doing it, and you’ll reach that level.
Don’t believe you must dream big if it stresses you, stops you, or throws you off course—follow what you have heart and mind alignment about.
Don’t believe you can’t start until everything, including you, is “perfect”—what a waste of vitality and time!
Don’t worry about the size of the “ripple” you’ll create in the world—there’s no way you can know what the ultimate ripple will be. Just enjoy creating it and let it go and grow where it does.

Ricochet was allowed to be herself and make a huge difference. Rudy didn’t let anything or anyone stop him; and his passionate commitment affected others so deeply, he found he had just the assistance he needed, when it was needed.

If your dream, your nature, your passionate commitment to your chosen life experience inspires even one person—but most importantly fulfills you—isn’t it worth it?

If you’d like to reprint this article, you can. Just use my bio as a complete statement.

Become A Conscious Creative ~ Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business allows you to open to and sharpen your intuitive, creative abilities and do this consistently, for any area of your life. Available as an e-book and/or an 8-week coaching program ~ Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com), You Are More! Empowerment Coach, Author, and Publisher of State of Appreciation. Details and lots of free resources at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com

Sunday, January 24, 2010

To-Do vs. Inspired-to-Do

I’m a solopreneur who enjoys what I do; so I was amazed when I woke one morning not wanting to do any of it! I had to assess what had happened and flip it.

It started the prior week, and proved to be a needed reminder of what I’d discovered about to-do vs. inspired-to-do, and temporarily forgot.

I had my usual projects and tasks to attend to, as well as new ones. Added to this were concerns about several people I love. It was easy to become involved emotionally (stressed).

When stressed, our tendency is to attempt to do everything as though nothing is different. When extra stress visits us, it’s important to adjust something, even temporarily. That’s not the mainstream approach, but it’s a wiser one.

There was much to do or think about (or so I thought)—familiar to you, I’m sure. I felt so compelled to take action as soon as I woke I left off my morning meditation (even five minutes makes a difference). I grew exhausted from pushing myself to do rather than trust what I felt inspired to do; and looking at my to-do list made me feel more stressed.

I finally decided I’d address any genuine priority, and take a little time off, knowing everything else would still be there after I’d recharged my energy (and attitude) and was ready to resume. Only, after I took time off, I didn’t feel like resuming any of it. I was in mini-burnout. How had I done that to myself?

For the last year, I’ve been following a different daily format: I do primarily what I feel inspired and motivated to do (aligned with what I truly want) rather than take action from a rigid, prioritized to-do list. I can easily imagine gasps from proponents of goal-setting, prioritized list making, and outcome-driven methods as the means to achieve success (and so we appear a certain way to others—let’s not leave out this particular motivation that can lead us astray from our authentic Self experience). I caused the mini-burnout because I’d drifted from my “I feel inspired and motivated to do” to “I must do . . . and do and do” mentality. It didn’t feel good.

The truth is that not everything on my list had to be done or done then—that’s just where my energy was.

Yes, I make lists. I have life matters that need my attention. I have regular and new projects all the time—of my choosing. I know what needs to be done and by when; but I also allow for intuitive nudges, in either direction (they’re always right).

If I consider any logical strategy (to-do) that “should” lead to an outcome I “should” desire, but I don’t feel a zing in my heart, mind, and energy (inspired motivation to do), I’m thinking from a solely outcome-driven perspective (fix or change something) rather than a “What do I want to feel and experience” one (create something I want). It’s a matter of switching outcome-driven for driven by desired experiences, or at least including the latter as an equally important half of the equation. It may seem counterintuitive to follow this path. It certainly contrasts in part what many success gurus say you “must” do.

When I follow what I feel inspired and motivated to do (including rest), I get inspired ideas and other good things come to me—because I’m not too busy (especially mentally) to be open to receive—to be a “magnet” for or creator of desired experiences. And, because I’m aligned at the inner level with a desired experience, what comes to me via the outer level supports this. And, it’s not stressful!

This allows me to be more of who I really am, to give what I truly want to give and enjoy giving it. I experience expanded clarity and pleasant surprises that fit my desired experience rather than extraneous stress from trying to force anything to fit a desired outcome—or striving for an outcome that’s not 100 percent my desire.

Learning to trust what you feel inspired and motivated to do has an adjustment period involved because you can feel timid or downright scared to trust this process will work—even if you’ve thought it’s how you’d like to be and live.

We question why we’re here—our purpose. Which do you think it is for you—to rack up outcomes or to fully engage experiences and evolve through these engagements? A combination? A to-do mentality will achieve outcomes; an inspired-to-do mentality achieves outcomes and more. Plus, you feel enthused and energized rather than stressed or burned out. My life has been a different experience for me since I began to live this way, and is why the “flip” felt so bad.

As soon as I resumed my new approach, everything improved; and I certainly felt my inspired enthusiasm again.

If you’d like to reprint this article, you can. Just use my bio as a complete statement.

Become A Conscious Creative ~ Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business allows you to open to and sharpen your intuitive, creative abilities and do this consistently, for any area of your life. Available as an e-book and/or an 8-week coaching program ~ Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com), You Are More! Empowerment Coach, Author, and Publisher of State of Appreciation. Details and lots of free resources at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Would You Rather Be On Purpose or Perfect?

Be perfect or be on purpose? Which one of these has been “driving your bus” so far? If you or someone you know struggles with perfectionism, can this hold you back from living on purpose?

Ask someone to walk to the moon and you’ll hear, “Not realistic,” as a response. They wouldn’t have a problem giving that answer.

Ask some people to be perfect and you can almost hear the inner and outer dialogue start — “You have no idea how hard I try to be just that.”

What was the appropriate response to the second request?
Not realistic.

Perfection, in the way it is usually understood and accepted, is not possible.

Perfection in Tick-Tock

Tick-Tock is what we call that space in time where we believe the outer world is more real than the inner one. It’s where either segments of society or individuals tell us our self-worth is about what we have—titles, degrees, assets—rather than about who we are, how we express ourselves in our lives and in the world.

Tick-Tock loves perfectionists because it knows it can get people to buy into struggle rather than flow. When people struggle, they don’t embrace or even remember they have an inner power. They are too focused on the struggle. Too busy doing rather than being.

When you’re in flow, your inner power more readily lets go of judgment, lets go of negative types of control, and embraces process for what it is—perfection and imperfection as two parts of a whole, but with different than the usual understanding of them:

There is perfection in imperfection and imperfection in perfection.

One aspect that becomes quite clear when you interact with a perfectionist is the imperfection of this way of being. You observe a person “wound up quite tight;” and you witness what happens when everything is not “perfect” according to their requirements. It doesn’t take much to set them off in panic or anger; and, there is a tendency to micro-manage everyone in their circle of influence. When they cannot control every moment and result so that events manifest the way they have imagined would be expected of them, their world is shaken.

Not only do they feel enraged (afraid of what they’ll lose), but frequently express this rage, damaging others’ respect for them. These people seem never to look within.

To a perfectionist, a problem is a catastrophe, not an opportunity for growth and expression of potential. For them, everything that goes amiss is external to them—or, at least, this is what many perfectionists project. What’s going on inside of them is another matter.

This particular form of perfectionism makes good people bad leaders in the workplace—or the home—and of their lives (they behave like managers instead).

Typically, there is no allowance for normal human behavior or growth processes to occur. Not for them, not for others.

Many involved with these individuals become either withdrawn, rebellious, or they move on. It’s a sad sight; and it robs everyone involved of the joy, harmony, and creative environment that could be the reality.

There also seems to be a lack of appreciation for spontaneity. Everything must be planned down to the smallest detail.

One perfectionist I know created an agenda for his ten-year-old granddaughter’s visit, starting from the moment she got off the train until she was to return home. It was remarkable to see items listed such as “12:45 – arrive at the zoo; 12:50-12:55 – Monkeys; 1:00-1:05 – Llamas; 1:10-1:15 – Ice Cream Cone.” It could have been humorous were it not so sad. Tick-Tock. Tick-Tock. No time for spontaneity.

This type of behavior also leaves little room for “this or better” moments to be appreciated when they happen. If something isn’t done in the way they believe it should be or by when they believe it should be, even if something better happens because of it, they either don’t see it or refuse to acknowledge it.

Perfectionists believe that their value as people is judged by virtue of what they do and do perfectly.

If they happen to read a self-improvement book, they rarely relate the information to themselves. They only see “flaws” they perceive in others.

When others—or they—don’t perform to their standards, even if unrealistic, they seldom, if ever, pause to ask what is working right.

Their struggle is a difficult one because they spend a great deal of time thinking about what needs to be done, who needs to do it, how it needs to happen.

Were it not for the affectation of perfectionism influencing the process and outcome, these things are strengths. Channeled correctly, these strengths could create tremendous positive change and environments.

Email me to receive a free copy of the entire 11-page writing that includes the additional segments: Perfection in the New Age, Process or Perfection, The Perfection of Imperfect Reflections, Self-Righteousness and Self-Realization, Perfection and Purpose, What’s in Your Inner Space?

If you’d like to reprint this article, you can. Just use my bio as a complete statement.

Become A Conscious Creative ~ Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business allows you to open to and sharpen your intuitive, creative abilities and do this consistently, for any area of your life. Available as an e-book and/or an 8-week coaching program ~ Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com), You Are More! Empowerment Coach, Author, and Publisher of State of Appreciation. Details and lots of free resources at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com

Friday, January 8, 2010

Can Goals, Strategies, and Systems Prevent Your Success?

Goals, Strategies, and Systems vs. Magnetic Visions. What thoughts are triggered when you consider this? Which one feels like a better “ride” for you?

Wallace Wattles wrote in his book, The Science of Getting Rich —

“Man is a thinking center, and can originate thought. All the forms that man fashions with his hands must first exist in his thought; he cannot shape a thing until he has thought that thing . . . . Man can form things in his thought, and, by impressing his thought upon formless substance, can cause the thing he thinks about to be created.”

Wattles also wrote about Increase. Nature’s prime directive is to increase. As part of nature, you feel this prime directive. It’s why you strive to build and build-up and are frustrated when you’re not sure how to do this effectively.

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with goals; but every success begins as an idea that gets energized by enthusiasm and inspiration—and this starts inside of you. A goal fed by passionate commitment (or even just a “this would be fun” approach) always follows an idea, it never precedes it. My point is you automatically engage a magnetic vision process (positively or negatively), in part, before you ever name a goal or take one or more actions. Why not do this consciously, deliberately, with more clarity and energy, and in your favor.

Goals make you think of strategies and systems, which have a rigid feel to them. Have you ever felt frustrated when you used someone else’s strategy or system—and didn’t get the same results? What happened? Could it be that what they did was a fit for them and not for you?

You can use up a lot of time and energy trying strategies and systems not tailored to your desired experience or nature . . . sort of like having a goal to get a new garment, yet choosing to try on the wrong sizes and clothing styles rather than take the more direct route of going to a tailor or seamstress. In the case of magnetic visions, you are the designer and the one who “reaps what you sew,” based on what’s appropriate for you—because only you know what that is.

How much time and energy have you put into testing what works for others—that didn’t work for you as fully as you wanted, or at all?

You’re not fashioned from the same mold as anyone else, you’re unique. How empowered would you feel if you knew how to more effortlessly design what’s right for you—the right fit—when you desire to achieve an outcome—and even enjoy the process? This is what a magnetic vision is about. And a magnetic vision gives birth to right next actions.

You want to create a magnetic vision and hold the intention of it, but you don’t want to create stress in your energy by gripping it in your fist, so-to-speak. You do want a clear vision, but you also want to allow for something even better to come to you. This happens . . . often.

Wattles mentioned a man who’d planned and taken action only to have his goal fall through. The man trusted that something even better was on its way to him and expressed gratitude to Spirit for the results. Within a few weeks, something far better came to him. Had his original plan taken form, it would not have been to his benefit. In fact, Wattles explained, it would have been a disaster.

It can be difficult to let go of how situations or circumstances appear when you want something, especially if you have any fear attached to needing or wanting it.

A goal leads you to think, “I’ll feel good when I have . . .” –and you can feel pressured about the outcome and what it takes to achieve it. Maybe that’s fun for you, maybe it isn’t.

A magnetic vision lets you hold your vision in such a way that inspired ideas flow to you, people and resources are drawn to you—in order to maintain the feeling you choose and energize. If you’re focused on a set goal rather than a magnetic vision, you may be like the horse wearing blinders, and ignore opportunities and doors opening all around you.

When you’re guided by how you want to feel rather than what you “think” you have to do (like worry and take lots and lots of fear-based actions), you expand your experiences. You want to stay open rather than closed, to inspired ideas and actions.

What you can build up to with the Implements in the Reinvent Yourself eCourse—which are self-guided self-empowering processes, not strategies—is awareness of what your ideal life or business looks and feels like to you; who your ideal person or people are you choose to attract into your life; and what you choose to offer that is unique—and this bigger picture will help you move forward in life or business in ways that are comfortable and authentic for you.

Can you feel how freeing this is?

Partial excerpts from Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business by Joyce Shafer

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR ON YOUR WEBSITE?

You can. Just use my bio as a complete statement.


Shift Happens. But, the shift you want can happen faster with a coach. Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com) – You Are More! Empowerment Coach and author of Reinvent Yourself—coaching to meet your desired experiences and outcomes. Learn about the buddy-coaching discount, energy expansion e-books, and read her most recent newsletter—all designed to enrich your self-empowering life experience at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com

Sunday, January 3, 2010

What Is the Only Thing You Have Absolute Control Of?


Did you get the answer to this question immediately? Horace said, “Life is largely a matter of expectations.” Expectations have a lot to do with the one thing you can control.

There is one thing in life you have absolute control over: Your attitude.

An excellent quote to remember is, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional” (Bruce Schneider, Founder/Director of iPEC). A fact of life is that pain visits all of us at one time or another. What we choose to do with it shapes who we are and our life experiences. When we suffer emotionally, if we have the courage to look deeply enough, we find a belief is the root cause of our pain or discomfort.

The most commonly-held belief is, “This shouldn’t be happening.” But, as you know, stuff happens.

What do we usually do when something painful comes into our lives? We dwell on it, don’t we? What we could do instead is first, allow time for our feelings. It is necessary to feel what we feel. Denial of this means what we feel will have to come out at some point, in some way—even as a health issue. Give yourself time to honor your emotions. As you do this, trust that the morning will come when you wake up feeling even a little bit better. Trust that when you’re ready, you’ll feel this way more and more each new day. Choose it.

When you feel strong enough, take an objective look at what happened. Did you have an agenda or expectations? Were your expectations realistic? How can you grow from this? What will you do now to move forward by even one step?

A good place to start is by looking at what you believe. When appropriate, here are two things you can do: Think about something you currently suffer about emotionally or hesitate to strive for.

1. State, in one sentence, what your underlying belief about this issue is.

2. Create one sentence that changes that belief to one you really want, helps you feel the way you really want to feel now.

Now, a little science. The Universe creates bits of matter where and when we focus our attention. Light is a wave until it is observed—and then, it becomes a particle. Why is this important to know? Because this means we live in a universe that creates our individual and group realities by reflecting back to us our (usually) deepest feelings and expectations.

What generally triggers a somewhat (or profound) negative response in people when they read this is the idea they may actually influence their lives—may actually be responsible for more of what they experience than they really want to be. Also, humans resist change. To become more responsible in this way means becoming more consciously aware and taking more conscious actions—and to remember we teach people how to treat us by virtue of how we treat (and take care of) ourselves.

We all know people who seem to exist in victim- or martyr-mode. It’s important to understand that emotions release chemicals in our bodies. We can become “addicted” to these chemicals, which causes us to seek out or create situations that allow more of these chemicals to be released—to fill our “need.” Someone in a negative mode may have to make an extra effort to “lift themselves up”—or, they may do so immediately, if that’s their choice.

If a person continually releases stress hormones into their body, in time, health is negatively impacted. And, if someone releases natural mood-elevating chemicals more often, they strengthen their immune system which results in better health. If for no other reason than improved quality of life and health, people would benefit by acknowledging a more positive approach to life may provide better outcomes.

Focus on how you can become more consciously involved in the process of your life, how you can move it and yourself forward. Moving forward is an ongoing process in life. Better to participate than just let life happen to you.

EXCERPT FROM: How to Have What You REALLY Want by Joyce Shafer

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR ON YOUR WEBSITE?

You can. Just use my bio as a complete statement.

Shift Happens. But, the shift you want can happen faster with a coach. Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com) – You Are More! Empowerment Coach and author of Reinvent Yourself—coaching to meet your desired experiences and outcomes. Learn about the buddy-coaching discount, energy expansion e-books, and read her most recent newsletter—all designed to enrich your life experience at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com/