How Moments Connect

There are times when we pay attention and are able to see moments string together like a jeweler strings pearls. Alter even one moment, especially because of an incorrect assumption, and the potential outcome shifts.

One reason the movie “It's a Wonderful Life” is a popular classic is because of the main message: each person plays a significant role in many lives, whether it’s a positive or negative role. Another reason is that the movie story demonstrates how events or moments connect in the bigger picture. We don't always pause to consider this.

Others and I played our roles in specific moments that, upon reflection, played out with the precision of fine clockwork. The result was the first-time inclusion of a piece of art in a local gallery by a member of my gang of friends. The timing sequence involved was so exact it caught my attention.

Our gang had gone to prior showings at the gallery in our Brooklyn neighborhood, and had discussed how the work of the active artist among us could easily be included in a showing. The opportunity came and he submitted a piece to be considered. Time passed and it was now two days before the opening and he hadn’t heard anything from the gallery owner. Then the magic began, and did so through “ordinary” moments.

Here's how the magic played out. One friend who lived on the first floor of our building e-mailed that she had returned from a follow-up visit to her surgeon. I felt inspired (compelled) to ask if I could go see her right then. She agreed, and I acted on it. I used the stairs rather than the elevator, and by the time I got to the floor where the artist friend lived, he came out of the elevator. I asked about his submitted piece to the gallery. He said he'd heard nothing from the gallery. Note: He'd used the elevator because he was coming up from the basement. Had I used the elevator, we would not have seen each other because I would have gotten out on the first floor and the elevator would have then picked him up in the basement.

I suggested he follow up with the gallery since we know that some e-mails never arrive or get lost in the shuffle. He shifted from crestfallen to more hopeful, went inside his apartment, and I continued down the stairs to visit my other friend.

When I returned to my apartment, I found an e-mail from my artist friend stating he'd followed up with another e-mail to the gallery, as I’d suggested. He could just as easily have assumed there was no point to doing so. Our gang tends to make our e-mails about certain topics a group e-mail; so another friend e-mailed a comment about this. Feeling frustration on behalf of the artist friend, her negative comment was based on an assumption that proved not to be the case.

I had an event to attend that evening. Before I left my apartment, I received an e-mail from my artist friend saying the gallery owner e-mailed back that his piece was included. Had he heard my suggestion and decided not to act, or had he accepted the other friend's assumption as truth (we all do this at times), or had I taken the elevator instead of the stairs, he and we would have missed out, as would have others: his work is genuinely good.

At the evening event, I was talking with other friends about attending the gallery show, when the gallery owner walked up. I told her my friend was excited about being included. She told me how happy she was he'd e-mailed her again because she’d really wanted to include his piece, but his e-mail had gotten lost among the torrent of e-mailed submissions she'd received.

If you look at how many people were involved in this singular event (including the people who put the event together I attended that night, and who had to know whom) and how things flowed, you get an idea (if you've never played with this before) of how energy can work, when we allow it (and pay attention to the smaller and bigger picture). You also get a glimmer (if you've never considered it before) about how connected everyone and everything is. Remove or alter, even by seconds, any one moment (or person) from the list above and you can see how the outcome could have shifted in a variety of ways.

We participate in helping energy flow either positively or negatively. It's always a moment-by-moment choice.

It's also a great lesson about how making an assumption, and assuming it's true, and then acting as if it is true, has the potential to steal experiences (and magical moments) from us. I try to remind myself as often as possible that when something looks one way, it may be another. Very often, what's necessary is more information.

A real problem can be solved; an imaginary one cannot.

It's a good practice to ask, "Do I have enough information to know what's really going on?" This one question can save us minutes or hours or years of entering the negative-thought vortex, based on an incorrect assumption. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.   

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

The Breath of Inspiration

A friend gave me a rock that has the word “Inspire” on it. The design is such that you hold it in your hand and rub your thumb over the word, so I picked it up and did this. The next thought that flashed into my mind was this: To be inspired is to be in spirit. Now, many of you already know that, and certainly others have written about this, but I was curious about the dictionary definitions of inspire and spirit.

Inspire means to blow breath into or onto, to breathe in, infuse with life, prompt toward a thought or feeling, have an animating effect on, impel towards creative efforts. Definitions for Spirit included breath, courage, soul, life, to blow breath into, thought, enthusiasm.

If spirit means life and inspire means infuse with life or blow breath into, then when you feel inspired, the “breath of life” moves into, for, and through you, as well as into, for, and through that which you feel impelled toward, animated about, are passionate about.

So often, many people are concerned about how to identify their life purpose, their purpose for being here. What if it’s as simple as considering what inspires you? You may respond by saying many things inspire you. What if everything that inspires you is actually facets of one underlying theme: Live an inspired life?

When breath was used to define inspire, it was used as both an inhalation and an exhalation. Feeling inspired is a form of inhalation. Taking action is a form of exhalation. When your actions produce a desired outcome, your enthusiasm increases (inhalation), and you take another action (exhalation). Being inspired about something and acting on it is you breathing your purpose into your life and simultaneously sharing it with others. The result is more breath of inspiration and spirit for all.

If being inspired means being in spirit, or even the other way around, you can be fairly certain you’ll feel momentum to keep moving in a forward direction. Motivator and author Barbara Sher said, “The sooner you start getting some of what you really want, the more energy you’ll have to go for the rest of it.”

When inspired and in spirit, we feel alive and on purpose. Think of a time when you felt this way. This feeling is a good tool to measure if we perceive ourselves and our lives as on track and fulfilled in whatever way is appropriate for us. When inspired and in spirit, we’re in the flow.

For those who’ve wondered what it takes to operate in the flow of spirit, perhaps it requires awareness of this “breathing” inward and outward. To keep in flow, you find and affirm your inspiration, follow it, and act on it. This feeds and enhances the energy you have to keep going, and going for more, whether what you want more of is something at the inner level, outer, or both.

There’s a tendency to focus on what Spirit provides to us when, ultimately, our quantum Universe is a give-and-receive operation or system. Sometimes, all we need to do to kick-start it is give ourselves permission to receive then allow ourselves to give, or reuse and recycle, if you will, what we receive. “It’s not about what we can get from the flow, but that we get into the flow,” as Jeanna Gabellini stated.

When we focus solely on what we can get from the flow, that’s restrictive. It’s like inhaling and holding your breath. When we get into the flow, what we desire moves to us. Some of it is for us, and some of it moves through us so that we participate in the great give-and-receive loop that feels so good.

When we feel challenged, we can remind ourselves to “Just keep breathing,” and take in a breath that opens ourselves to inspiration. And then all manner of expected, unexpected, and wonderful things can happen—to us, for us, and through us. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.  

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

What Am I Meant to Do in This Life?

Life Purpose: It’s a topic on the minds of many. It’s a question (and an industry) that’s like the siren’s song, luring us into its depths. What is this yearning really about?

I don’t think the question of life purpose is as deep as we make it out to be. I think what drives the question, frustrates, and confuses us about this is more about how we want to feel about ourselves than anything else, but we seem to miss that target more than we aim at and hit it. I think this is because we don’t know that it’s a real and worthy target. Nor do we want to feel guilty about or uncomfortable with our choices regarding this matter. Often, we convince ourselves there’s only One Right Choice, which scares the hell out of us. This choice isn’t supposed to be like choosing the red pill or the blue pill in The Matrix movie.

What led me to this topic was a thought process I was entertaining myself with, wondering why some people are more compelled to explore and move toward and into spiritual realization and some are more compelled toward financial and assets gain (legally or illegally attained), with little to no focus on spirituality. Is one path better or more valid than the other? I don’t have the wisdom of Source, so won’t even attempt to answer that question. In fact, it may be a useless question, like “why” often is. However, I have some thoughts about this that I’m comfortable sharing.

We know that one of the Universal Laws is Polarity. This means that everything has a duality about it, has its pair of opposites that are identical in nature but different in degree (e.g., hot and cold are polarities of temperature). The Law of Polarity is a mutable law, which means whatever goes on can be transcended. For example, there are positive and negative thoughts, but both are thoughts, and either of them can be shifted. If things are not going well, you can shift your thoughts so that you aren’t overwhelmed by your negative thoughts and can affirm Truths that lift you up. If things are going well, you can sabotage yourself with negative thinking. Polarity keeps momentum going so that stagnation doesn’t occur. We are meant to be stimulated into inner and or outer action by the polarities we experience.

Back to life purpose or what we’re meant to do in this life. What if your driving question is how to attain more money and stuff, and the spirituality aspect takes a backseat or isn’t even in the car? It’s possible you’re attuned to having a primarily physical-material experience in this lifetime—for your own soul’s purposes, whatever they may be. If this is your path, this driving force in your life is but a line on the abundance-prosperity polarity graph. Maybe it’s extreme for you and you must become or do become a millionaire or billionaire. Maybe it’s moderate. Maybe it’s low, at the other end of the spectrum. Perhaps along the way, or in your more mature years, your spiritual aspect quietly nudges you to ask how you, in your physical-material mindset, can contribute to your life and the lives of others, and how you (and maybe others) can evolve as a result. After all, you could be a generous, caring billionaire who does numerous large and small truly good works from the heart, and never consciously or deliberately entertain a spirituality-related thought in this lifetime.

What if your driving question is about how you can contribute to your life and the lives of others as well as have a deeply spiritual experience in a physical-material environment? This may lead you to shift back and forth between figuring out how to exist and evolve in both, for your own soul’s purposes. You may find yourself on the extreme end of this measuring stick and be the person who meditates in a cave and relies on others to bring food, water, and other supplies to you. Or you may feel that trying to do both materiality and spirituality creates contradictions within you—because you question the importance of doing what helps sustain you and your life versus pursuing or attaining spiritual realization. Your question about this may block the balance you can experience so that you have all you need in both areas. We see it all the time: the spirituality-based person who struggles to sustain his or her life. Not only is their struggle an inner one, but an outer one as well: there are people who question why such people charge for their services, and believe the services should be free or nominal because they are spiritual in nature. However, no one argues about fees with a plumber when they need one.

You might assess the two “paths” above as polarities, but both contribute to our unified experiences of life. We cannot all sit in caves, figuratively and or literally speaking. We cannot all focus solely on tangible and financial assets. Both materiality and spirituality are needed for life to flourish. Whichever one of these polarity paths you fit into at this time, we are all meant to process experiences and evolve in some measure as a result of them.

It’s up to each of us to figure out how we will express ourselves while here. And this may be in one way or a number of ways. But it is about what we enjoy, what we are good at, what we are interested in, short-term and or long-term, and what and how we contribute to a few or the many. And what we contribute may be in some large or grand way or through numerous small kindnesses that ripple outward in a returns-to-you and a pay-it-forward sort of way.

I’ve had a number of incarnations in this lifetime. I started out as a singer, winning awards and scholarships, and training for the opera. Then amid other make-a-living-based and life experiences, I became an artist in three mediums and did 600 pieces of art in 5 years. There were gallery showings with awards and where all my art sold, individual and corporate commissions, retail shops with sales, and a few individuals who collected my work. Then I got into writing and editing, with a stretch as a life empowerment coach thrown into the middle of this. These days, I balance my place in that second description above (physical-spiritual) by writing my weekly articles—like the one you’re reading now—and include them in my weekly newsletter that also highlights the spirituality-based works of guest experts each week. But the other thing I do, which helps sustain my life and my passion for words and the tapestries they weave, is services for writers, especially new writers. This work drives my bus! Simultaneous to this, I’m always increasing, expanding, and evolving my spiritual solidity and spiritual realization, which also drives my bus. I no longer question which one is to have more importance (I used to do that). I’ve landed in the flowering field of whole-beingness: Everything I do contributes something, in some way, to me and to others. I grasp the importance of both materiality and spirituality for this experience I’m having, just as one coin has two sides. I’ve become keenly aware that I cannot do one without affecting or influencing the other.

I share some of my own story so you can see that you can follow your path in your own way. You are meant to. Your path can lead you until the moment you’re ready to lead yourself and choose what it is you wish to do that fulfills you on all levels or on as many levels as possible for the moment or for a lifetime. What you are meant to do is find your bliss, as Joseph Campbell said. Only you know or can determine what that is. And it may not be in one way only. What you’re meant to do—your life purpose—is a feeling, not an action or a thing or a person. Find your feeling. It’s your song, your dance, your life. And it will influence whatever you choose to do and how you choose to express it.

One line of dialogue said by Professor Dumbledore to Harry Potter that always speaks to me is this: “It is not our abilities that show who we are, but our choices.” You can have stellar skills, talents, and abilities and waste them or be too afraid to explore and demonstrate them for your benefit and or the benefit of others. You can be great at what you do and also be an assoholic. You can do one thing or a number of things well that provides enough income to keep you surviving or thriving and also be a person others love, respect, trust, rely on, and want the company of. You can show people what you can do and you can show people who you are. Your choices will do that by default, anyway.

Rather than wondering so much about what you should be doing or showing others what you can do so you earn approval, focus more on who you want to be and show yourself, as well as others, who you really are. And if you make or have made choices you wish you hadn’t or regret, forgive yourself; decide to choose a better way if ever faced with a similar choice. You always have the choice to do and be better.

Stephen Covey said, "But until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, "I choose otherwise." What we are meant to do in this life is makes choices, preferably conscious ones rather than reactive ones; though, we usually (hopefully) realize at some point that this is part of our path we are here to travel. We can makes choices that support us or seemingly don’t. I say seemingly don’t, because sometimes you get where you’re going by traveling a back road rather than a superhighway. We can make choices that contribute to one or many others, or choices that detract. Choose to contribute in ways appropriate for you and for others. Sometimes what this means to you requires you to figure it out for yourself, but it’s a terrific form of GPS for a more satisfying life.

Choices are stepping stones on our path of experiences. The ones we choose to step on determine our destination. Whatever we choose, we live with the consequences or desired results of our choices. You might say that what you are meant to do is choose who you wish to be and be who you are meant to be, for your own purposes and based on how you intend to feel about yourself and your life, so that you align your choices with that. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.                   

          

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

Don’t Give Negativity Another Thought

Should we or shouldn’t we ever put our attention on the negative? Maybe there’s something we need to discern about this, to avoid confusing ourselves and perpetuating negativity that ought to be given our attention.

What do we think or believe negativity to be? Is it whatever doesn’t feel good to or for us individually? What about whatever doesn’t feel good to or for others or the collective humanity we are part of, as well? We aren’t meant to dwell on or in negativity in a manner that does no good for us or others, but we have to watch that we don’t stick our heads in the sand either, when we should be taking a closer look at something. Let’s consider this and what we often do and might do differently about negativity and negative experiences, through something most people are aware of.

Here’s the first part of the “Serenity Prayer” most of us are familiar with and frequently use or refer to:

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change, 
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

Here’s the same first part of the “Serenity Prayer,” as its author Reinhold Niebahr wrote it and intended it to be reflected upon and used:

God, give us grace to accept with serenity 
the things that cannot be changed, 
Courage to change the things 
which should be changed, 
and the Wisdom to distinguish 
the one from the other.

An initial difference between the two versions that got my attention is how each starts. The altered version has no comma after God, but the original version does. The comma indicates a direct, personal conversation with the Creator of All Things is being held (just as it does in rules of punctuation), whereas the absence of it in the altered version makes it seem removed and rote, as though we’re repeating words to ourselves in the hope it—the repetition—will make the difference.

In the altered version, it’s all about the “I,” the individual. It asks for “me” to be granted serenity, as though serenity must be provided to us or we don’t or won’t or can’t have it. And the word granted is something of a subservient term, as when someone in “authority” grants a favor, but it comes with a price or an obligation, that is, if it’s granted. It states serenity is needed in order to accept the things “I” cannot change. This can be problematic because we humans are known to confuse (or ignore) the difference between cannot and will not.

The altered version asks to be granted the courage to change the things “I” can. We’re faced with the same cannot/will not conundrum. How many things are there that you believe need to change but you also believe you are powerless to do anything about them? (Perhaps, as an individual this is sometimes true, but as a group or collective, it isn’t.)

It asks for the wisdom to know the difference—the difference to know what you can’t change and what you can. Well, depending on what you believe you are capable of and what you know or don’t know your Rights to be, that could be an interesting form of wisdom that reflects more of an “I’ll do it if it’s convenient or comfortable and doesn’t require too much of me” kind of scenario. 

The original version is about “us,” we as individuals, as well as humanity as an aggregate or collective of individuals sharing the human experience. The original version requests grace to be given, as a gift, with no strings attached. If we truly understand what the Creator has given us, we understand that that grace has already been given; that acting with grace is always a choice. And, “to accept with serenity” reminds us that we have a choice to accept with resistance or anger or serenity—that is, to make peace with the fact of what cannot be changed. 

The original writing makes it clear there are some things that cannot be changed. Such things include the Natural Laws the Creator of the Universe put into effect to assist us to raise our Consciousness so we do a good job as co-creators and with how we operate within our individual and shared physical reality (To exercise Consciousness is to interact with Truth more often than not interact with it, to marry our perceptions with Truth so that our perceptions more closely and frequently align or intersect with Truth); death (once it’s happened and we’re sure the person is beyond resuscitation); any event that has already taken place and is factually irreversible; gravity; and so forth. 

It asks for courage, which we can infer means to assist or remind us to use inner strength to make the choice to engage our courage to change the things which should be changed. This wording is a whole different ball of wax from the altered version, isn’t it? It’s a statement that recognizes that part of our human nature is to at times be so fearful or unmotivated that we won’t change even what should be changed. And, it points out that there are, indeed, some things that should be changed. The problem with the altered version is that it implies if something doesn’t affect “me” (or “me” too badly), “I” shouldn’t necessarily do anything about it or give it another thought.

Then, we request the Wisdom (capitalized in the original version, to indicate a higher level of knowledge and common sense, rather than a personal opinion) to distinguish the one from the other: Things that cannot be changed (have happened or are Natural Laws and cannot be altered) and things that should be changed (require our attention and right action). Neibahr meant for all of us to practice this version particularly because our individual and collective behaviors influence the conditions we share, and the conditions we share influence our individual and collective behaviors.

There are levels of negativity, and negativity happens in degrees. Therefore, our responses must be appropriate and in appropriate measure.

There’s the level of the individual experience and expression of negative thoughts, words, and actions. Reasons for this negativity vary: learned behavior, chosen behavior, depression or some other form of psychosis, sleep deprivation, chemical imbalance, physical or emotional pain, overwhelm, to list some prevalent ones. About each of these, something can be done. The individual has the Free Will Right to choose to do or not to do something about it, especially to do no harm or stop harm to the self and or others, unless something specific impedes this, like a mental or physical infirmity that makes right or conscious choice impossible.

There’s the level of an individual, but usually more than just one individual experiencing and expressing negative thoughts, words, and actions, where Rights of individuals in any number are infringed on or taken away. We might call these basic Rights or Freedoms, in accordance with Natural Laws, which are different than man-made laws. About this form of negativity, something should be done. Individuals, whether alone or who are members of a group or collective, have the Free Will Right to choose to do or not do something about this. Again, our individual and collective behaviors influence the conditions we share, and the conditions we share influence our individual and collective behaviors.

I watched The Truman Show recently, and was affected by a dialogue line that was spoken by a fake radio announcer: “Don’t think about that. Sit back and enjoy this relaxing music.” The advice to not think about that (Don’t give it another thought) referred to something anomalous that happened and had gotten Truman’s attention, causing him to question its strangeness or not-rightness. After that anomalous event, the practice of diverting Truman’s attention from what the reality or truth was, worked only for so long, until he began to come out of his mental fog (or ambivalence) and pay more attention to what was really going on than he had been. The more attention he paid the more the truth was revealed.

Carl Jung: “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable, and therefore, not popular.” This can refer to the darkness that is negativity, as well as lack of true Consciousness and willingness to attain it within each of us, as well as within our collective humanity.

None of us wants to see or experience negativity. But we need to understand there’s a difference between dwelling on it and not doing anything about it at any level other than complain, or tolerate it in silence, and putting our attention on it to understand it better so we can and will do something about it, so that we, hopefully, can prevent more of the same from happening again. Part of the New Age information has been that if we focus on something negative, we give it power. We’ve interpreted this to mean we shouldn’t give it any of our attention. Is the true power, especially to effect change, in whether or not we put our attention on the negativity, or is the true power in the individual? There’s a difference between feeding negativity and not feeding it, ignoring it and shifting it. Had Truman believed the power was in the illusion and those supporting it and not in him and his desire for truth, he’d have remained trapped, used, and miserable.

One of the most powerful things we can do is to say No to perpetuating negativity or creating new negativity. If something has already happened, we can choose the grace to accept the fact of it with serenity (for our best benefit and clear-mindedness) and choose the courage to change whatever about it should be and can be changed. We need to consider that maybe it isn’t that we shouldn’t put attention on the negative, but that we should put the right kind of attention on it, as well as on the desired result of our attention; then, take right action to attain or accomplish it or something even better.

We could lessen or eliminate some of the negativity in our individual and shared experiences if we did give negativity another thought—the right kind of thought so that we can demonstrate our power to do more than what we may have been doing. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate. 

          

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Say Goodbye to Typical New Year Resolutions Blues

The things you do or don't do about New Year resolutions are what you do right now as a consistent practice about any such decisions. Whatever you don’t do about them, and why, you can do differently starting today.

How would this affect how we practice the Golden Rule?

It's important to understand why resolutions you make any time of the year fizzle out. You may feel a desire for something to shift or change, but if your commitment to make it happen doesn't match your desire, you'll return to doing what's convenient or familiar rather than what it takes, because it’s really a wish rather than a genuine desire backed by commitment. Resolution means you are resolved, committed, intentional.

Another reason is perhaps you aren't clear about your WHY: Why you really want what you say you do. The reason you think you want something may be buried under layers of other thoughts and feelings, hiding your real reason, which is a feeling you wish to have and keep. For example, if you want to reduce the numbers on a weight scale or increase the numbers in your bank account, what's your why? If it's so the opinion of others about you will be what you want it to be, that's a formula for probable failure and an unpleasant experience: that’s too many people to attempt to please. Maybe what’s really there is a desire to feel loved and accepted, which is a layer over your real desire to love and accept yourself, which requires a different approach than weight loss or focusing on more money, alone. This kind of thought process can, of course, be applied to anything you say you want.

Sometimes the absence of an effective plan is what causes the fizzle. What is an effective plan? It's something you have head and heart alignment about. Stated a different way, it includes required steps you are fully committed to taking and, possibly or likely, are even enthusiastic about taking, and is in alignment with who you know yourself to be and your Principles. Aim for what will really make you sizzle so you won’t fizzle.

There are key steps to take, in order to fulfill any desired intention (that is, any intention that is ultimately for your highest good and the highest good of all involved) and say goodbye to resolution blues, which is about causing yourself to feel bad about resolutions you don't keep, and to feel good about ones you do.

1.You have to be fully aligned with what you say you want and what you are resolved to accomplish. If, every day, you replay images of yourself as not having your desired outcome or experience, or you replay what it feels like to not have what you are resolved about, you aren't as open to ways you can make it happen more easily as you might be and you are blocking the result from happening more readily, because you are focused on not having it, plus, not feeling good about yourself or life as you move through this process, which is, essentially, being in opposition to yourself.

You cannot be negatively focused and “charged” (“It’ll never work” or “I’m not deserving”) and affect positive change at the same time. A small shift from "this is awful" to "there is a way" does make a difference, simply because one closes you off to inspired ideas and actions, as well as receptive, attracting energy, and the other keeps you open to them and doing what’s required. Whether you call this energy or attitude management doesn’t matter; it's an important practice.

Sometimes anger is the motivation that moves people into action. That is a step up from hopeless or apathetic, but unconscious actions taken from anger are generally not the best ones to take. You might feed a need in the moment, but what do you intend to build long-term? How do you really feel once the anger need is satisfied? It's important to feel what you feel and let this motivate you, but is unconscious action based in anger your desired practice? Does your action, or speech, come from consciousness (the ability to accurately observe and assess what’s going on) and preserve integrity and moral rightness or does it deplete these? If you can act from justified anger (based on a true infringement on your Rights or the Rights of others) as your catalyst AND maintain morality (do no harm) and integrity, that’s different.

2.There are two ways to make a plan. One way is to be motivated by fear. This typically leads to long hours, agitated energy, bad moods, and lots of activity that may not actually be productive. You may be conditioned to believe that worry, strain, stress, frustration, criticism, and other such fear-based "motivators" are effective ways to create change, but how's that worked for you so far? How does it feel to be in and operate from that place?

It's imperative that you put your attention on what really creates shift. You've been told you can't succeed without a goal, strategy, or a plan. These are tools that help you stay on track, but they aren't what make things happen initially or keep you on the path. Kurt Wright wrote, “Commitment is a magnet.” Your intention, commitment, and aligned energy are what ignite forward motion and build momentum in you and cause what you desire or something better to happen.

This means that the better way to make a plan is to take a little time to get clear on what you really want, and your true Why, and align your energy and attitude in a way that keeps you open to inspired ideas and actions, right timing, right people, right opportunities, and right resources. This allows or causes you to make a plan you are in alignment with, as well as be in alignment with taking required actions you include in your plan. It supports the courage you need to get started and to keep going. This isn't pie-in-the-sky thinking. When you do this, you build a foundation that is so strong, you can aim at and go toward anything you truly desire that is in your and the greater best interest, because what you build is Self Trust, Self Esteem, Self Empowerment, and Self Reliance.

Whatever you tell yourself you want from your New Year resolutions or resolutions made at any time of the year, those four Self attributes are what lie underneath your reasons for wanting what you do or say you do. You want to do what is needed to believe in yourself completely and from an authentic perspective, not a perspective of trying to get the approval you desire from others, though that approval may (or may not) happen as a side-effect.

It is important that you know what is appropriate or inappropriate and fulfilling or unfulfilling for you, including you in the bigger picture. What's probably causing you to fizzle out is that you've never taken the time or the courageous stand to define what your ideals are for YOU in the different areas of your life. But I don’t mean just for you, as in solely service-to-self, but for you and in service-to-others and beyond, into service-to-Truth; hence, for the highest good of all involved. How can you go for what you really want if you don't even know what it is, or are afraid to state it even to yourself then claim it?

A resolution is only as good as your defined image of it (using your imagination productively and constructively), your commitment, your enthusiasm, your alignment with it, and your core underlying reason for wanting it, which is, ultimately, how you really want to feel as an individual and as an integral contributor to the reality you share with others. Start now. It's neither too early nor too late. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.     

      

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

How Do We Lose Our Way or Our Life Spark?

Have you ever felt that you’ve lost your way in life? That the spark you once felt has gone missing? What’s described here is at least part of the reason this happens.

Have you ever felt really good, that your energy was in a good place, at a good vibration, until you went around or interacted with someone whose energy was not up there with you? What happened to your energy vibration? More than likely, it lowered, maybe even went to the lower vibration of the other person. It can be a challenge to sustain a higher vibration when you engage with a person or people who experience a lower vibration, especially if that’s their practice.

Maybe you’ve been in a situation where you’re engaging one or more people and the conversation is predominantly, if not entirely, their complaining about something or everything. You might listen for a while, and get more and more uneasy as you feel your vibration dropping. So maybe you interject something positive, in the hope of raising the energy back up. It’s quite possible that they either look at you strangely or give you negative feedback about this because you’re not joining them readily at the lower vibration, which may annoy them. You mutually annoy each other because of the contrast of your energies.

The reality is that all of us have times when our vibration is higher or lower, depending on what’s going on and how we choose to perceive it and relate to it. And sometimes we need to reach out to others when we’re low. Depending on what we’re dealing with or coping with, it may feel challenging to even imagine a higher vibration, much less align with and feel it. But, it isn’t impossible to imagine you can reach and hold a higher vibration at some point. In fact, allow yourself to aspire to this just as soon as it feels appropriate to you to do so. It may assist you to keep what follows in mind.

Many of us have been indoctrinated with the belief that external experiences cause the good or serene feelings we desire in us, when in fact, it’s the other way around. The way we experience our external world has all to do with our internal perceptions, that is, what we tell ourselves about anything or anyone. If we have negative inner experiences, if we put our time and energy into lower vibration thoughts and feelings, we are not going to have desired experiences in our external world. We’ll have more of what we don’t want come to us, or our perceptions will run along this course, because that is where our energy, vibration, and emotions are, which means that’s what we’re giving our life force to. The non-judgmental laws of manifestation will match the vibration we give the most energy to or the inner plane we spend most of our time on. 

If you feel you’ve lost your way and that the spark has gone from your life, you’re definitely hanging around in lower vibrations and likely with people who hang out in lower vibrations, and you’re probably waiting for external experiences to ignite your inner spark again. If this is your approach, you may wait for a long time. You cannot expect to raise your vibration higher at the same time you put energy into lower-level thoughts. Something you need to keep in mind is that a belief is a thought you practice often or habitually. The more time and energy you give to a thought, the more momentum toward manifestation or continuance you build into that thought.

So what are you supposed to do to raise your vibration? First, don’t expect to zoom to the highest vibration in one fell swoop. It could happen, but it’s best if you don’t infringe that heavy expectation on yourself (or on another). An improvement is what you want to aim for. One of the surest ways I’ve found in my experience to calm my energy, thoughts, and emotions, and even-out my vibration so that it raises a bit when it’s lower is to make the statement you’ve likely heard or read often, including from me: Source, I trust and allow that you will fulfill the highest good of all involved regarding this situation.

This statement can allow you to relax, if you’ll allow this yourself, that is. When you relax, when you trust that the highest good of all involved will be done, even if you don’t understand all the dynamics, you calm your inner self, which raises your vibration from where it’s been. This begins to attract better experiences, and helps you to choose better perceptions.

Don’t hammer a negative thought. Do something else to get your mind off of it for a while. It is more important to first get into a good, higher vibration than to solve a problem or worry about it. Holding better thoughts will pull good things to you, often surprisingly quickly. The more you do this, the more you feel your spark begin to ignite back up and grow, because you will be in control of the only thing you can ever be in absolute control of: your vibration. Everything springs forth from this. The question is: Are you willing to find a way to be in control of your vibration?

Pay attention to what you feed your thoughts and emotions. Maybe take a vacation from watching the news, or if you’re going to follow the news, strengthen your metaphysical or spiritual understanding about reality. The same goes for subtle messages in commercials or any other media. If you must engage low-vibration people or information, use the remarkable tool in Dave Markowitz’s book Self-Care for the Self-Aware that recommends you imagine a keyhole at your heart chakra, or whichever chakra feels appropriate, and imagine the negativity moving into that opening and exiting out the back, so that you aren’t touched by it or absorb it as your own. If all you feed yourself or predominantly feed yourself is negativity, whether your own or that of others, you will feel you’ve lost your way or your spark, because your natural state is opposite of this; and THIS is why you feel as negative as you do: you’re going in the wrong direction. To be in or return to your natural state of fulfillment and joy, you must move in the direction of it.

Another method that will help is something I’ve recently started to practice, which was the result of an inner nudge from two sources: a novel and an attendee at an Abraham-Hicks event. In the novel, one of the characters was thought to have a more direct line to God when it came to prayers: Her prayers seemed genuinely effective or to result in miracles. Every night, she wrote, rather than said, her prayers. In the other nudge, the event attendee said he began the practice of writing thank-you notes or letters to the Universe ahead of receiving what he wished to receive, and that the results were phenomenal. I now have a notebook and pen handy to write down my own ahead-of-time thank-you notes to Source. Outcomes I’ve experienced since I began to do this are either seeing the desired results become experiences or feeling tremendous peace, calm, and trust about whatever outcome is for the highest good of myself and all involved. Use this to find your way when you feel lost and to reignite your inner life-force spark. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.      

  

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

The Four Biggest Blocks to Manifestation and Life Experience Fulfillment

There are four main or typical ways you may practice that block your fulfilling manifestation and life experience. Learn what they are and what to do about them.

BLOCK 1: The first block is not asking for what you want at the start, or if you do ask, not asking in the correct way. In life, you usually have to ask for what you want, as you would at a restaurant, which means you have to know what you truly want. You don’t say, “Bring me seafood,” you state which dish you wish to enjoy. When it comes to the metaphysical approach, many spiritual disciplines provide versions of “Ask and you will receive,” but there is more to this, as you’ve probably discovered, and which I’ll explain.

We get that we need to ask when it comes to manifestation; but what usually happens is we think about what we want or need then jump into making a plan and or take immediate action, often because others expect us to or told us this is the way to act, or to appease our ego aspect, which more commonly waits to think about manifestation when desperate, rather than grasp that we’re manifesting already, all the time. We rush around, exhaust ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally (and even spiritually), and feel frustrated about minimal results, or the absence of any results. Thinking something that needs a solution or resolution “to death” or worrying about it is NOT asking.

An old adage says, “Sharpen the ax before you go to the tree.” Ask in the right way first. Example: “I am truly thankful for all that fulfills me and is fulfilled for me. If (insert your request) is in my highest good and the highest good of all involved, I ask this to be fulfilled, and I trust that it will be. While I wait to receive results or guidance about this, I choose to feel happy and serene now, and appreciative of this now moment and what I already have and have received, rather than wait to feel happy or serene or appreciative if or when I receive this or something even better.” You can shorten this and use your own words, but I want you to get the premise.

I know that many action-driven people might disagree, at first blush, with the above paragraphs. They (and we) have been taught that strategies and systems and actions are what responsible and successful people use and do, but we’re seldom taught how vital it is that we strengthen and trust our relationships with our Infinite Self and Source above all. Yet, these relationships are what are needed as our foundation under any idea or action. They are where real inner power comes from, and where highest-good fulfillments get put into motion in our lives. Too often, much too often, we attempt to do everything on our own, without the assistance of our Infinite Self and Source. I’m not saying you aren’t to take action, I’m saying align your Inner Energy before you take action, so that your action is Source- and Life-Energy-driven (inspired), not fear-based ego-driven.

BLOCK 2: Strife. Notice that the words happy, serene, and appreciative were included in the request shared above. Strife is a big problem when it comes to manifestation and life experience because the vibration or energy of fulfillment, the vibration or energy that allows and supports fulfillment, is calm and trusting. There’s no way around this. Judging anyone, anything, and ourselves is strife. Anxiety is strife. Anger is strife. Stressing is strife. Anything not supportive or serene, anything not a positive vibration, is strife.

We often call what we do “striving to succeed” or, perhaps even, to survive; but we’re really “strifing,” which will never result in the full success or fulfillment we desire. Strife blocks requested manifestation and life experience fulfillment, and creates more of what you don’t want, because what you don’t want is what you match your vibration to, so that’s what gets matched as your experience. If your ego wants to disagree with this, just consider your typical or consistent experiences and results. You can ask and ask (or plead or demand), but as long as strife instead of calm and trust is present, the energy of strife will push away the very results, resources, or relationships you wish to have in your life.

By the way, serenity doesn’t mean you’re so mellow you can’t function; it means your actions or non-actions, your words, your thoughts, and feelings are centered and fueled via your connection with your Infinite Self and Source, instead of spiking out and poking people’s eyes out, energetically speaking, that is. This is the Catch-22 it’s so easy for all of us to find ourselves engaged in. Fulfillment is way more about, first, Being than Doing. Be the vibration then take inspired, rather than desperate, action.

BLOCK 3: The third biggest block is doubt. Make your requests to Source and approach life free of doubt and self-doubt, that is, free of any doubts about your self-worth and what you deserve. Source supplies freely. Source doesn’t supply you or anyone based on what’s deserved, but will honor (match) what you believe about this. Doubts of any kind come from the ego that’s been affected by limiting beliefs, and are contrary to the truth of Source, your Infinite Self, and how Source set up the Creative Energy to work for and with you. Doubt and Trust cannot occupy the same space at the same time; and the one you FEEL more profoundly, is the one that gets matched.

Some manifestations are instant because everything is set up and ready to go, as soon as you ask and allow it, that is, have no resistance thoughts blocking it coming to you. Other requested manifestations are not in your highest good, or perhaps not in the highest good of all involved, so never happen, or if they happen, they don’t work out but are an opportunity for you to learn something. And some requests require a bit of time because more than just you is involved. While you wait, occupy yourself and your mind with positive and productive thoughts and inspired actions, and remain in a state of calm and trust. Do what you need to, to maintain serenity, happiness, and especially appreciation, each of which is a positive attracting or magnetic energy for what you ask for or something better. Do this despite what appearances are. Remind yourself of how you felt when something or something even better manifested for you before.

The more strife and doubt you stop practicing the more serene you’ll be. Obvious, but we miss it more often than we see it. To do this requires dedication to develop your strife-free, doubt-free inner power, and to practice this daily, so that you shift further and further away from ego’s insecurities that cause you to engage strife and doubt. If life or particular life areas don’t seem to be working out for you, it’s likely you’re allowing strife and doubt to clutch you in their grasp instead of you holding serenity and trust at your core. And maybe you’re practicing Block 4.

BLOCK 4: This one relates to the Jump program in the first “Matrix” movie, when Neo watches Morpheus leap the distance between two buildings, to demonstrate what’s possible. Morpheus tells Neo what’s needed to accomplish this: Free your mind. This is our hurdle, as well, when it comes to manifestation AND living in flow from the inside-out. We have to cross the hurdle of subconscious beliefs so entrenched in us that we don’t even realize how consistently we practice them.

This is why affirmations, made through the conscious mind, can have something of a “Fake it till you make it” thwart-factor for us. They don’t work or work as expected, because we can’t fake out our subconscious beliefs, which are the beliefs that drive our “bus”. Affirmations do work when we disassociate from a subconscious belief (I can’t leap like Morpheus) and embrace possibilities (He’s shown me what’s possible, what I’m capable of. If it’s in my highest good, I now allow it or something better to be so.). The leap can’t happen in our experience until it first happens in our mind.

This means we have to pay attention to our consistent thoughts. More specifically, to the QUALITY of ALL of our thoughts, so we get a sense of whether our subconscious is operating as a glass half empty or half full kind of belief system, whether that’s about abundance or lack, or acceptance or judgment, in all the various forms each appear as in our life. We have to observe how we think, that is, how we choose our thoughts deliberately or how we let them run amok. This all boils down to one important question: How much appreciation do you feel and choose to feel during the course of each day? Or, are the majority of your thoughts on a negative loop so familiar to you that you don’t even realize the tape is playing about any- and everything? This is major in its significance, and merits attention.

From Abraham-Hicks: You're always getting a perfect vibrational match to what you predominantly give your attention to. But you've got to make the best of it. You've got to vibrate slightly different from where you are if you are going to improve where you are. You can't keep taking score of where your business is or your relationship is or your body is without continuing to create it as it is. To make improvement, you've got to reach for a different thought.

Begin to practice looking at your blocked life areas to reveal whatever strife or doubt you may be engaging in. Ask for what you want, in the right way. Explore the thoughts that arise from your subconscious mind, or the tape loop that’s playing. It is your choice to either wear yourself out while you try to do everything yourself, and attempt this from a negative subconscious belief set, or to take the leap of belief and follow your path with Source as your companion, a path that leads to more effortless manifestation for your good and the highest good of all involved, as well as greater serenity, fulfillment, and joy. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate. 

        

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

Do You Have A Vision for Your Life?

Having no vision for your life is like being in a rowboat without oars: you go where the water takes you, or doesn’t. If coming up with a vision frustrates or confuses you in any way or makes you anxious, this may help.

Hermann Hesse wrote: “Most people are like a falling leaf that drifts and turns in the air, flutters, and falls to the ground. But a few others are like stars which travel one defined path: no wind reaches them; they have within themselves their guide and path.” We get the importance of his statement, and he’s right that each of us has our guide and path within us; but if you feel you’re drifting along in life without a vision and feel unsure what to do about this, his statement might cause you to judge yourself. I want to help you shift this. And about having one defined path, what if that’s not about doing but is about being, say, joyful, instead? Does that shift your energy about this even a little?

Wallace Wattles said: “You must form a clear and definite mental picture of what you want; you cannot transmit an idea unless you have it yourself.” Wattles is right as well; however, the thought of getting to this clear mental picture is intimidating for a number of people. They concern themselves with questions like: What if they pick the wrong vision? What if by picking a vision, they limit themselves? What if their vision is too large or too small? What will others think about their vision, or how might they judge it?

The first thing I ask you to do is allow that if the thought of coming up with a vision for your life makes you uncomfortable in any way, we want to shift how you think about this so you can feel better about it, because it is likely your beliefs about this that hold you back. For instance, rather than think about your Vision For All Time, think about the vision of your life for the next year, or the next six months, or next month, or next week instead, to get into practice. This takes the pressure off of having to come up with The Grand Vision. And that’s another thing you want to let go of: what anyone else will think about your vision; that your vision has to impress others or have their approval or it won’t be worthwhile—not that you have to tell anyone. In fact, practice self-restraint for as long as needed or desired about this: keep your vision silent and sacred.

One thing that may affect your ability to come up with a vision, whatever time-period you now want it to cover, is believing it has to be practical (so you can appease others or your ego-aspect). Practical isn’t necessarily magical. I recall going to a car dealership years back. I didn’t like anything about that experience. When the saleswoman came back from having “the talk” with her manager about what kind of “deal” they could make for me, I told her no. She asked what kind of deal I was looking for, and I told the uncensored truth: “I want an attractive car with all the bells and whistles, and I don’t want to pay a penny for it.” And I meant it. She was, of course, shocked and told me that was unrealistic. I was completely serene and even joyful as I smiled and said goodbye and left. Within several months, I was driving a sporty Lexus with all the bells and whistles, and doing so without a penny ever coming out of pocket. I share this example so you can see that sometimes being practical can stand in your way. The Universe has an interesting way of filling our orders once we know and state what we want—fearlessly—at least to ourselves, then get out of the way. 

Another thing that blocks creating a vision for your life is attempting to do this from a feeling of desperately needing to change or fix your life. Desperation is not the energy you want flowing through you when you consider your vision. For one thing, you aren’t thinking clearly when you feel desperate for change. Your energy is focused in the opposite direction at such a time, like on lack, frustration, fear, and so on. Before you sit down to work with your vision, you want to take some deep breaths to relax your body and mind. You want to connect with the infinite love of Source, to relax your emotions and stimulate your spiritual connection to the abundance and flow that Source has made available for you to receive, as soon as you allow yourself to do so. When feeling desperate, you block alignment of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy with your vision.

Joseph Campbell said: “We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget that the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it’s all about.” Yes! You see, one thing that blocks people from crafting a vision, among the other blocks I’ve already mentioned, is they get so focused on Doing that they forget to focus on Being first.

I know it’s recommended that you get specific when you craft a vision, but this may be so intimidating that you just abandon the idea of crafting one. Note: A vision for your life is NOT meant to be the same as a goals list and the steps to reach goals. So, try this: Write generalized specifics. What I mean is, for example, instead of coming up with a fixed number of the amount of money you want to receive each month, state that you want money to come to you from Source’s infinite resources in the amount that is three times (or more) than what your actual monthly expenses currently are—or whatever feels realistic and possible at this time. Don’t impinge on your alignment with an amount your subconscious doesn’t believe is even in the realm of possibility. Head and heart alignment is important here. As you move forward, you can always increase this. And, instead of stating the work you do in your vision, state that you do work that you love and enjoy and find fulfilling, if work is part of your vision. This suggestion to be generalized-specific is to help you get into practice of allowing yourself to have a vision for your life. When you get comfortable with this process, and what I explain from here on, then you might want to craft a vision that is more specific, or, instead, also craft a goals list.

Do a rough draft of your vision, so you get started. Consider it an exercise only, so you ease up on yourself about this. Let this draft be more like play. Hand-write your draft, and write it as though it’s happening now. Let how you want to feel about your life assist you with this draft. Remember, let go of being practical, of impressing anyone or needing anyone’s approval. Allow yourself the right to adjust anything in your vision that you feel the need or desire to adjust. This is for you and only you. It’s like a garment you create for yourself: you must tailor it to fit you; you must love the color, texture, and feel of it. You must feel terrific when you put it on. It must feel exciting and empowering to wear it.

When you play with your draft vision, if you feel the need to be practical, go ahead and write out a practical one. Then, allow yourself to write one where practical isn’t a factor. Again: Practical isn’t necessarily magical. So if it will help you, create one draft titled My Practical Vision and another titled My Magical Vision, and cut loose with this one. What time do you want to wake in the morning, or what kind of schedule flexibility is desired? What do you want your day and what you do with it to feel like? How do you want to feel about your day and life when you go to sleep at night? How do you want to feel about your financial matters, secure or serene? And so on, with anything you want to add.

Remember: Write both versions in present tense, as though each vision aspect is already happening. Then read each vision in turn. After you read the practical version, add a paragraph about how it makes you feel when you read it and how it affects your energy; do the same after you read the magical version. Which one excites you? Which one feels like your right fit? Keep in mind that a magical vision will have practical aspects appear to support it. So don’t be afraid of writing down what you really want.

Once you decide on a draft vision, read your vision aloud to yourself every morning and evening for the first seven days. Each following week, spend fifteen or so minutes once a week to read your vision and feel it, believe it, trust it, and adjust it in whatever way feels right to you, because you are always changing and growing. Allow your vision to change and grow as well. Each time you make major adjustments to your vision, repeat the seven-day morning and night read-aloud process so you really get your vision into your energy field and mindset.

Release the HOW. That’s up to the Universe (like my car example), but pay attention to inspirations that lead you to actions then follow through. You can also use your vision to verify that any ideas or opportunities that show up in your mind or life as actions to take actually match your vision, so your ego-aspect doesn’t lead you astray, which it often does, as it tends to operate from desperation and fear. It’s better to be still and wait for an inspiration you know is aligned with you and your vision than to rush into action that uses your time, energy, and other resources in spinning-your-wheels activities. Never confuse activity with productivity. Inspired action is what you want to follow, and these generally come to you when you’re being quiet or still or doing something unrelated.

How do you want to feel about your vision? What feelings, thoughts, and self-talk do you need to support your vision? What would your vision need to include for you to feel joyful, enthused, fulfilled, excited, confident, comfortable being you, and—whole? Keep in mind that this is for the time-period you’ve decided it’s for, whether it’s for the rest of your life, the next year, month, or week. Take some time to craft your vision as described here. Then read it and ask yourself how much of your vision you are doing or living now and perhaps don’t realize it. This may, or may not, surprise you.

Don’t rush crafting your vision. It’s important enough to take the time you need, but don’t put it off either or try to write the “perfect” draft the first time. It may take a few or several tries for you to feel comfortable enough to allow yourself to write a more magical vision. And keep in mind that you want to allow the flexibility to adjust your vision as you realize more of what you really want and want to feel and allow yourself to include these in your vision.

Once your draft vision is written and it feels right, don’t try to rush it or force it into your experience. Watch for signs of it taking form in your life. Watch for inspired ideas. Allow yourself to love and accept and approve of you so you allow yourself to receive your vision as your experience. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.        

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer