Friday, September 24, 2010

Why and How Focus on Attracting Is Misplaced

“Attract” is one of the primary buzz-words used to explain how manifestation works. Whichever word you use, you may be putting the “cart before the horse.”

I’ve seen and used the words attract, magnetize, match vibrations, alignment—and others. They’re all good words that represent a specific action or dynamic; and it really is only one action being represented, no matter which label you use.

But, this action (and therefore the words used to describe it—attract, etc.) is the EFFECT of something that comes before it. Attraction is not the cause of manifesting—it IS one of the “mechanical” dynamics involved to facilitate it, but the CAUSE is something else. Struggle happens because we usually place focus more on attracting—believing it’s the key action step—rather than place our focus on the actual cause of every manifestation.

If you’ve ever had something pop into your reality very quickly, say, within a short time after the thought of it, it’s likely that you didn’t engage your thoughts or feelings about it according to any system. In fact, you probably had the thought while you were doing something, paused long enough for the thought to register—if you paused at all, then kept on with what you were doing. You didn’t construct affirmations, didn’t align your energy with having it, didn’t do some of the other things you’ve learned to do. You very simply allowed it to show up with none of the usual inner dialogue, discussions, or arguments you often have with yourself.

I am NOT saying such tools are a waste of time. They absolutely provide benefits such as clearing out mental and emotional clutter, transmuting negative thinking into positive, etc. We carry these learned layers of limiting beliefs, so we need tools that help us whittle away what isn’t needed or useful.

So here’s what you’re waiting for. The CAUSE of manifestation: You have a thought about something and you ALLOW it as your experience. Stay with me while I explain further.

Allow is the “horse;” Attract is the “cart,” or at least a wheel.

You might ask, “Doesn’t that mean the idea is the cause?” No. An idea is definitely a ripple in the field, but how many ideas (thoughts) do you have that never show up as real—and thank goodness, considering how you sometimes use your thinking! A thought is your conscious or subconscious ego tossing around ideas of what to include (or not) on the menu. What you call intuition is your infinite self sending you a telegram about what IS being added to the menu.

Important Note: Your ego self will choose and allow what it perceives as pleasurable, and cannot fathom that it/you would ever choose anything other than what is pleasurable to experience. Your infinite self will choose and allow what it knows is purposeful, knowing pleasure or pain are perceptions. Your best tactic is to deal with each of these differently and appropriately. For the purpose of this writing, we’re dealing with the ego aspect of consciously making choices and, hopefully, taking the shortcut of Allowing, so desires can more effortlessly show up as experiences.

If you could consistently engage Allowing with knowing how the field works, and that you’re never not using it, that would be ideal. That’s a terrific target to aim at. In the meantime, if you apply yourself to reducing all the stuff—the self-arguments and doubts and negative mind chatter—you’ll have far less stress and delays involved in your manifestation process.

You’ve heard others say a manifestation component is to allow yourself to receive; but I thought you’d appreciate playing with the energetic that Allow needs to precede Attract, rather than follow it in the scheme of manifestation. You can attempt to Attract out the wazoo, but if you’re not on board with Allow . . . frustration, strain, struggle, stress, delay beyond right timing, and more are yours.

Try this “chronology” for day-to-day desired results:
Imagine it (then keep it or toss it).
If you keep it, Allow it so you can more easily . . .
Attract it.
Receive it.
Enjoy it.
Appreciate it, and how the process works.

You are what you practice.
© Joyce Shafer

Friday, September 17, 2010

Need to Amp Up Your Motivation and Commitment?

Can a simple statement really get you motivated to start, do, or improve something you’re putting off? Let’s find out.

Think of something you desire to be different, or feel challenged about following through on. See or feel it in your mind’s eye. Really connect with it. Now, say to yourself, gently and truthfully: “I can do better than this.”

First things first—remove any critical self-judgment from the picture right now. It isn’t useful.

Second, do you believe there’s some truth for you in the statement that you can do better than what you’re currently doing? Is there even one thing you can do differently that would get you closer to your targeted goal or dream, or make an improvement?

Third, watch out for two typical self-entrapments: You aim to start too big and you attempt to reach the outcome—or think you have to—without taking the steps.

Let’s say you don’t like how your body looks (or, use a current issue of your own). You might be tempted to do the following in this order:

1. Look in the mirror and not feel happy with what you see, and begin the verbal self-abuse. That’s always effective, right?
2. Say, “This Is It!”—plus, more verbal self-abuse.
3. Choose a stringent diet program and an exercise program not appropriate for you, or you start at too high a level (and you increase the verbal self-abuse).

I’m not going to keep going with the numbered steps, because how this example, or whatever you’ve started and stopped over the years (or never started), plays out (including creative endeavors) can be filled in by you as well as me. But maybe you feel, perhaps subconsciously, that the way to improve is to first punish (unsuitable, unsustainable diet and exercise programs—or whatever relates to your issue), rather than find what supports you, then start small and grow into it.

We live in an age of Instant: coffee, foods, information. It’s no wonder instant gratification tugs at us so forcefully. But some things, the really important or significant things in life, are usually not instant.

However, it isn’t just instant gratification you’re dealing with these days; you’re also bombarded with emails from people about their “instant” successes, results, or outcomes. When you aim at your targets, if you don’t mirror the so-said instant success of others—or what you believe you’re “supposed” to achieve, you feel like a failure.

Maybe you want to take the temperature of this in your own life. Many times, these people have their “instant” successes after quite a number of years (or hours, days, weeks) of effort that led to their “overnight” success. Some even tell you this, but that information is easy to ignore because you’re fixated on a big number (or whatever) flashing like a neon sign in your mind; and what it takes, or might, to achieve this is virtually ignored.

Tony Robbins said something to the effect that small improvements made daily create compounded enhancements. Don’t attempt or believe you have to attempt to produce the final outcome five minutes after you decide what it is. What do you really want to go for now, or next, that will improve one or more areas of your life? Write this down—writing it really does matter.

Whenever you start to be hard on yourself about any area of your life you’re not satisfied with, rather than giving yourself the verbal self-lashing you may do or perhaps giving up altogether, gently say to yourself, “I can do better than this.” Then take some action each day. Let your daily improvements weave your larger tapestry.

You are what you practice.
© Joyce Shafer

Friday, September 10, 2010

Is Your Thinking Higher or Lower?

You either think from your situations or think from your possibilities. You can tell which you’re choosing by looking at what’s happening and how you feel.

Beliefs about life challenges can lead you to forget how and why thinking from possibilities (higher) works better than thinking from situations (lower). An example is, “How am I going to pay my bills?” (situation) vs. “How might I manifest an extra $X this month?” (possibilities). The first one leads you to stay in bad feelings: fear, worry, non-action or non-productive action. The second one leads you to open to inspired ideas and productive action.

“To learn how to think is to learn how to live . . . . This is not done by holding thoughts, but by knowing the Truth.” Ernest Holmes

Simply put . . . If you can imagine it, it can be yours. If you imagine it, it is yours.

I wanted a friend to read something I wrote and give feedback; but her computer didn’t have the right program installed, so she couldn’t open the document. This reminded me of how many of us are similarly programmed or not set up to open certain “mental documents.”

We learn ways to think, feel, and react or respond usually long before we learn anything about Law of Attraction. If our receptivity-to-better-ways program is not installed, we have to find another way or exist without access to certain programs and features.

Alchemy was believed to be the art/science of turning lead into gold. That’s exactly what shifting negative vibrations caused by negative, limiting, doubting thoughts, words, and actions into positive “magnetic” vibrations is about.

Beliefs come at us from the moment we’re born  from family members who carry beliefs from one generation to another, educational systems, religions—people who, for the most part, mean well. The premise is protection; but it doesn’t work for many of us. In fact, it creates fear in us and we pass up opportunities and experiences because we aren’t taught our true power or true nature.

One big obstacle is the How: “How am I ever going to be able to ___?” If you’ve used Law of Attraction even in small measure, you’ve seen the How gets taken care of when you get out of the way or don’t concern yourself with it. In fact, how things get done or manifested is usually a remarkable event or unfolding as ones we never would have thought of ourselves  if we don’t impose negatives beliefs, that is.

I’d manifested parking spaces, furniture and furnishings for my apartment, books, people, money, and lots of other things. However, I noticed there were, what I considered “large ticket items” (not always material) that I struggled with. When I paused to consider this, I asked myself what was different.

One difference was my statement about getting something was matter-of-fact. Another difference was I had no concern about the How attached: where, when, who, what, how much.

The most important difference was complete absence of doubt about getting whatever. I simply didn’t think about it. I didn’t consciously apply Law of Attraction. Getting “it” was effortless. The quantum field had no restrictions imposed by me on it, so it popped these things into my life, sometimes within minutes. I also had to learn to trust that some things were not right for me, and learn how to read the clues and move on.

When you think from situations (lower) rather than possibilities (higher), this is the “frequency” you broadcast into the field of probabilities and to others. Brainstorm to shift this: write down every logical, practical, silly, and farfetched idea that comes to mind about how to resolve, solve, or shift a situation. Something will spring forth from this.

Energy, like water, seeks its own level. What or where is the level of your energy? You can ignore your power but you can’t escape it; you might as well use it in your favor.

(Based on my e-book, Law of Attraction Alchemy: Change Lead Thoughts into Gold)

You are what you practice.
© Joyce Shafer

Friday, September 3, 2010

Is It Time to Clean Your Mental Filters?

Next time you feel stressed ask yourself if it’s actually an event or situation, or your thoughts about it causing your stress. More often than not, it’s time to check your mental filters.

Every thought you have about everything that happens in your life is processed through your filters: your learned beliefs, assumptions, presumptions, and past experiences. Unless you’ve shifted this—cleaned or regularly clean your “filters,” you likely experience every moment through a slightly—or maybe more—grungy filtering system.

When you assume, you act as though something is 100 percent true or will happen (or not)—when that may not be the case. Your thoughts, words, and actions stem from this assumption. Assumptions are a good way to set your self up for disappointment, frustration, and anger. Facts and clear communications work far better. You may still feel one of the emotions listed, but let it be for the right reason.

When you presume, you take something for granted—whether or not you should. You may not question your right to presume—about others, events, or even yourself (negative self-talk). You may take for granted that your limiting beliefs, especially self-beliefs are facts, even if they aren’t—and you may act as though they are. Just because you repeat them in self-talk or action doesn’t make them absolutely true.

You may believe you have every reason to filter your thoughts and feelings in this way because you can list past experiences to support this mental processing method. However, many of your past (and current) experiences show up because of your learned beliefs . . . which attracted more experiences like your past ones, which are what you believe life (or you) are like; and you stay stuck in a quagmire of unsupportive beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. Nothing seems to improve and you can’t figure out why.

You might feel like the dog chasing its tail and never catching it!

This circular activity and experience will never move you forward. Events will happen. People arrive with their personalities. Fortunately, you usually have the opportunity to select who you spend time with or not; but in some cases, like with family, that’s not as easy a choice as with associates.

Once an event happens, it’s happened; and, people never change unless they choose to. But you can change how you manage yourself through events and with others—because the common thread in every aspect of your life is YOU.

Let’s take a complicated relationship with someone significant to you, or not. You may feel it’s justified to say that person “always” behaves a certain way—and maybe they often do. However, you possibly or probably repeat how you engage and interact with them. The situation can never shift until one of you shifts. If you wait for others to voluntarily change, you may wait a lifetime. People spend a great deal of precious time and energy trying to remold others or life situations rather than remolding themselves around and through what challenges them.

Let’s take another example of having several tasks to do, some of which you don’t want to do but have to, or perhaps make you skittish because you doubt yourself. You might spend hours thinking negative thoughts, engaging in negative self-talk—and nothing gets done. Or you may start to take action on a task and engage in negative self-talk through most of it.

You are chasing your tail when you do this. You waste energy and time, and cause yourself to feel really, really bad about yourself or whatever the situation is. Let go of thinking about what you need to do and just do it. Feel good about accomplishing and completing whatever it is, or at least moving it forward.

I’m pretty sure you’ve watched others you’re close to use these behaviors: it’s painful! You want to tell them what they’re doing to themselves, their life, and those they share life with. It’s just as painful for others who watch you do this to yourself.

Stuff happens that doesn’t feel good; but after something happens, it’s our thoughts that keep those feelings going—and even growing.

It may not be easy or immediate to shift your thinking, but the solution is a simple one: choose better thoughts so you experience better feelings, which lead to better experiences. USE what you know to do. It will make a difference.

Be mindful rather than rely on faulty mental filters.

You are what you practice.
© Joyce Shafer