How Moments Connect

There are times when we pay attention and are able to see moments string together like a jeweler strings pearls. Alter even one moment, especially because of an incorrect assumption, and the potential outcome shifts.

One reason the movie “It's a Wonderful Life” is a popular classic is because of the main message: each person plays a significant role in many lives, whether it’s a positive or negative role. Another reason is that the movie story demonstrates how events or moments connect in the bigger picture. We don't always pause to consider this.

Others and I played our roles in specific moments that, upon reflection, played out with the precision of fine clockwork. The result was the first-time inclusion of a piece of art in a local gallery by a member of my gang of friends. The timing sequence involved was so exact it caught my attention.

Our gang had gone to prior showings at the gallery in our Brooklyn neighborhood, and had discussed how the work of the active artist among us could easily be included in a showing. The opportunity came and he submitted a piece to be considered. Time passed and it was now two days before the opening and he hadn’t heard anything from the gallery owner. Then the magic began, and did so through “ordinary” moments.

Here's how the magic played out. One friend who lived on the first floor of our building e-mailed that she had returned from a follow-up visit to her surgeon. I felt inspired (compelled) to ask if I could go see her right then. She agreed, and I acted on it. I used the stairs rather than the elevator, and by the time I got to the floor where the artist friend lived, he came out of the elevator. I asked about his submitted piece to the gallery. He said he'd heard nothing from the gallery. Note: He'd used the elevator because he was coming up from the basement. Had I used the elevator, we would not have seen each other because I would have gotten out on the first floor and the elevator would have then picked him up in the basement.

I suggested he follow up with the gallery since we know that some e-mails never arrive or get lost in the shuffle. He shifted from crestfallen to more hopeful, went inside his apartment, and I continued down the stairs to visit my other friend.

When I returned to my apartment, I found an e-mail from my artist friend stating he'd followed up with another e-mail to the gallery, as I’d suggested. He could just as easily have assumed there was no point to doing so. Our gang tends to make our e-mails about certain topics a group e-mail; so another friend e-mailed a comment about this. Feeling frustration on behalf of the artist friend, her negative comment was based on an assumption that proved not to be the case.

I had an event to attend that evening. Before I left my apartment, I received an e-mail from my artist friend saying the gallery owner e-mailed back that his piece was included. Had he heard my suggestion and decided not to act, or had he accepted the other friend's assumption as truth (we all do this at times), or had I taken the elevator instead of the stairs, he and we would have missed out, as would have others: his work is genuinely good.

At the evening event, I was talking with other friends about attending the gallery show, when the gallery owner walked up. I told her my friend was excited about being included. She told me how happy she was he'd e-mailed her again because she’d really wanted to include his piece, but his e-mail had gotten lost among the torrent of e-mailed submissions she'd received.

If you look at how many people were involved in this singular event (including the people who put the event together I attended that night, and who had to know whom) and how things flowed, you get an idea (if you've never played with this before) of how energy can work, when we allow it (and pay attention to the smaller and bigger picture). You also get a glimmer (if you've never considered it before) about how connected everyone and everything is. Remove or alter, even by seconds, any one moment (or person) from the list above and you can see how the outcome could have shifted in a variety of ways.

We participate in helping energy flow either positively or negatively. It's always a moment-by-moment choice.

It's also a great lesson about how making an assumption, and assuming it's true, and then acting as if it is true, has the potential to steal experiences (and magical moments) from us. I try to remind myself as often as possible that when something looks one way, it may be another. Very often, what's necessary is more information.

A real problem can be solved; an imaginary one cannot.

It's a good practice to ask, "Do I have enough information to know what's really going on?" This one question can save us minutes or hours or years of entering the negative-thought vortex, based on an incorrect assumption. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.   

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

What Legacy Are You Creating Right Now?

It’s easy to see how some people create a legacy through how they live their lives, but are you aware of how you are doing this? Does a legacy have to be grand to count? Maybe what follows will answer that question.

Years back I watched a PBS series titled "Road Trip," where the narrator took his parents, who were in their eighties, around the United States in an RV. Sometimes when we observe others, we focus on the surface of what we see. So, what was under the surface in this instance?

The son revealed that his parents' first child was a daughter who did not live long. The four brothers grew up aware they'd had a sister and that their parents preferred not to speak about that loss. The son said he always wondered how their lives would have been different had their sister lived; that the factor of one, whether with us or gone from us, can have a profound effect.

In the final minutes of the last segment, the father sat peacefully at the end of a pier and looked out over a serene lake in a wooded area. In the voiceover for that scene, the son commented that his father was always ready to sing and laugh despite the fact he had buried a child, fought in a world war, lost his fortune and retirement twice, won over cancer, sustained a marriage for six decades, and with his wife raised four sons into good men. He said when his father left the earth no one would name a street after him or take special note of him in history. Yet, he left a quiet legacy that would affect several generations because of who he was and how he chose to live his life. The father’s factor of one touched and influenced every person he interacted with, most especially his family.

The father didn’t focus on creating a legacy; he focused on living in a way that made sense to him, especially when faced with life events and circumstances that had the potential to wear him down. He aimed to do and be the best he could, in light of whatever came his way. Some of us are aware of the legacy we create through how we live and what and how we contribute to others and life. Most of us never give our legacy a thought, which is fine. Such contemplation isn’t required in order for a legacy to be created; it’s created with or without that contemplation.

At this point, you may be thinking about moments from your past that you don’t feel good about. Anything from your past that you regret—let it go—it’s over. You can make better choices from this moment on. You know more and are more now than you were then. Yes, learn from those times, but let them go. Right now, in the moment you stand in, you can decide who you are and how you want to be and will be, from this time forward, aware that you leave an imprint. I recall something I was told by a music teacher way back when: even if you mess up in the middle of singing a song, as long as you end the song really well, that’s what people will mostly remember. Your life can be the same as a song. Your life is your song.

We all have occasion to feel overwhelmed by events. In such moments, we may temporarily forget our contribution to the bigger picture of our shared lives. We may forget that our own factor of one creates ripples at all times. On the positive side of this, we don’t always know when one seemingly simple gesture, word, or kindness on our part reaches into the heart of another and makes a significant difference. I venture to say this happens more often than we are aware of.

Legacy is about what we contribute while we’re here. It doesn’t have to be grand; it just has to come from our heart and authentic self. It may be as simple as the example we are to others, not that we are to overwhelm or burden ourselves with thoughts of this. Our example does not guarantee good or bad behavior from others. Each of us is, after all, responsible for who and how we are and what we choose. It’s ultimately about what we desire to see when we view ourselves in the mirror of our lives, not how others see us. However, in some respects, they will see us the way we see ourselves, as well as some of our aspects we are not necessarily conscious of.

Keep in mind that every moment of our time on this earth is a pebble dropped into a pond. We may be aware of how we affect those nearest to our center point and forget to be aware of how far the ripples may travel. Each of us creates a legacy, more often a fairly quiet one than not. But as with the quantum universe, the size of our legacy is irrelevant. Every ripple is significant in some measure, contributes to the whole. Every ripple is a relevant thread in the larger tapestry.

Perhaps from this moment on, we can remember that we are weavers and can seek to ensure that some of our threads are ones that endure the tests of time, integrity, and merit. It’s never too late to start now. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.    

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

How Spiritual Practice Works Best

Spiritual practice is something we fine tune as we go along in life. We learn what works and what doesn’t. But there are a few aspects that we must always be consistent about in our practice.

Ernest Holmes said in The Science of Mind that “Perfect belief is the beginning and the end of all good mental work.” Makes sense to me, but that can be tricky to achieve. Perfect belief, of course, means the absence of doubt. Perfect belief and doubt cannot exist in the same space or they’ll cancel each other out. Perfect belief results in perfect practice. Perfect belief and practice are what most of us aspire to build up to. How can we do that?

Holmes offered something about that as well, and these are the aspects that must be consistently practiced. “We should work, not with anxiety but with expectancy; not by coercion but with conviction; not through compulsion but in a state of conscious recognition and receptivity….obstruction is the result of a ‘hang-over’ of belief from past years…”

We should work our spiritual practice not with anxiety but with expectancy. Well, we get the part about anxiety. Anxiety never attracts more of what we desire, but only what matches our feeling-based thoughts swirling around in that emotion. Anxiety may happen before our spiritual practice, but when it happens during and after our practice, it’s a clear indication that doubt is stronger than faith, at least temporarily. But what about the expectancy aspect? What are we supposed to expect? We are, first, to expect the Law to work as it’s designed to, which means to align with and match what we feel, rather than solely what we say we want. It’s up to us to remove any knots in that thread. And, we are to understand that what we want cannot contradict the highest good, or it won’t be fulfilled. So even though we can and are meant to make a specific request, the safest thing to ask for and expect is for our highest good and the highest good of all involved to be fulfilled. Then we need to trust that.

We should work our spiritual practice not with coercion but with conviction. Well, you can’t actually coerce the Law of Attraction (Manifestation). That’s not how it works, but we sure do give it a go fairly often. We end up roiling our own energy when we do that. Conviction isn’t that easy either, because again we’re back at facing the fact that any doubt we have is stronger than our trust in Source’s ability to provide the highest good for all involved. But a belief in the Truth of how the Law is set up to work with us and for us, that level of conviction, puts us in harmony with the Universe and in flow.

We should work our spiritual practice not through compulsion but in a state of conscious recognition and receptivity. How often, especially when stressed, do we then get “serious” about our practice? We then become like the wolf in the childhood story of the three little pig—we huff and we puff and we try to blow the undesired whatever from our life through affirmations and so on. A calmer way is to practice conscious recognition about cause and effect. There’s a great deal of discussion about this, but for the purpose of this conversation, let’s say that sometimes the effect we experience is directly caused by us through our feelings, thoughts, words, or actions. Then there are times when “shift” happens and we cannot find a way to point the finger in our direction. At those times, we need to realize it is now up to us to get directly involved with cause and effect from that moment on and find something we can align our thoughts and feelings with that leads us out of darkness and into light. And at that point in time, we must become receptive to what’s presented to us, for us, and through us and go from there.

Obstruction is the result of a “hang-over” of belief from past years. What an effective mental image those words create of something we all experience. Beliefs and practices of the past that never served us well but are still carried by us certainly feel like a hangover. We don’t perform at or feel our best. We struggle to be clear and articulate in our moments and overall life. If you’ve never had a hangover, you won’t understand how the person doesn’t function at full capacity or how long it takes for the person to feel like himself again. The more we let go of beliefs from the past that never served us or no long do the healthier and stronger we feel. Plus, the more we then open up to what we’re truly capable of feeling and accomplishing.

How we practice life and our spirituality do more than overlap, they are one and the same. This time, instead of focusing solely on the spiritual practice when you now reread the key part of Holmes’ quote, focus on these words as a practice for life as well: “We should work, not with anxiety but with expectancy; not by coercion but with conviction; not through compulsion but in a state of conscious recognition and receptivity.” It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.   

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

How to Succeed AT Life

We all think we know what success is. There are certainly enough definitions of it and opinions about how to succeed IN life. But, how can we truly succeed AT life?

We can succeed AT life by being true to ourselves. It’s not always as simple or easy to do this as we might imagine or wish; but maybe that’s already been your experience. For one thing, as we move through our life, we have a trail of expectations following us, those expectations imposed on us by others, and those we erroneously impose on ourselves. We walk in a wake of negativity as a result, because we don’t know how or feel confident enough to be true to ourselves after years of others’ influences swarming around us, attempting to tell us what to think, feel, say, and do.

Ernest Holmes wrote an interesting passage about negativity in his book, The Science of Mind. But it was what came at the end of that passage that got me thinking. Here it is: “Thought which is built upon a realization of the Divine Presence has the power to neutralize negative thought, to erase it, just as light has the power to overcome darkness; not by combating darkness, but by being exactly what it is: LIGHT.”

Light overcomes darkness “not by combating darkness, but by being exactly what it is: LIGHT.” What happens when we are not our true selves or true to ourselves is we engage in an inner battle, though we may also battle with others who, for their own reasons, attempt to deter us from being true to ourselves. With so much focus on battles, little energy is given to the real matter: being ourselves and evolving in the way and timing appropriate and fulfilling for us. You cannot live YOUR purpose (much less your life) if you’re living according to someone else’s expectations that you are not in alignment with.

Anthropologist Margaret Mead had a particular mindset when her daughter was born. She said she couldn’t wait to see who this person was. She didn’t say she couldn’t wait to mold her daughter into who she wanted the girl to become. Big difference. Most of us did not have the benefit of such refreshing open-mindedness in the environment where we grew, learned, and developed. We were not, in general, provided with a nurturing space to discover and determine who we are, so much as we were told, by so many, who we were expected to become. How often we see others (or have it as our own experience) who follow the wishes or expectations of one or more others, rather than follow what’s in their heart and spirit. It’s not a pretty picture when that happens.

One example comes to mind of someone I know who wanted to be a musician but his parents wanted him to be a doctor. So he slogged through all the years needed to put M.D. behind his name. Yes, he learned useful things, but he had no passion for his practice. A sad, serious side-effect was that he lost compassion for his patients. He did what was expected of him, barely. And, he was miserable. He turned to drugs and other not-in-balance practices to buffer him from the negativity and restriction he felt he couldn’t escape. Whether or not he would have become a professional musician is not the point. What might have happened had he not succumbed to his parents’ expectations? We’ll never know. But there is a chance that he may have found his way to a life that fulfills him, rather than one he has to numb himself against.

In that and similar situations, one result is clear: Everyone whose life is touched in any way by someone not being true to themselves becomes, in some measure, a hostage to expectations and outcomes; and the effects and outcomes don’t cease after the first time this happens. An ongoing ripple effect is created. Many would look at that man’s life and see only that he’s a doctor, with a doctor’s income and what it allows him to buy and get away with, and call him a success. Now that you know some of the real story, you may hesitate to assign that label to him.

How much of the negativity we experience is a result of not being true to ourselves? Think about the implications of that for a moment. What are you doing and who are you doing it for? If your why is one you have head and heart alignment with, no problem. If you don’t have that alignment, you have negative thoughts buzzing like bees in your mental, emotional, and spiritual life, which, of course, can affect your physical body. It definitely affects your energy and what you attract into your life as your experience, as well as how you relate to yourself, others, and your life. The proverbial vicious circle gets created.

Whatever you’ve been indoctrinated or convinced to believe about success, the truth is that real success is an inner experience—a feeling. When you find what makes you happy and fulfilled in ways appropriate for you, and this in turn, causes you to spread some good into your circle or world, you are a success. Maybe you have enough material things in your life that causes others to call you a success and maybe you don’t. Should their opinions matter? Do you really want them to? Or do you want to put the measure of success where it belongs—in your hands? It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate. 

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

The Breath of Inspiration

A friend gave me a rock that has the word “Inspire” on it. The design is such that you hold it in your hand and rub your thumb over the word, so I picked it up and did this. The next thought that flashed into my mind was this: To be inspired is to be in spirit. Now, many of you already know that, and certainly others have written about this, but I was curious about the dictionary definitions of inspire and spirit.

Inspire means to blow breath into or onto, to breathe in, infuse with life, prompt toward a thought or feeling, have an animating effect on, impel towards creative efforts. Definitions for Spirit included breath, courage, soul, life, to blow breath into, thought, enthusiasm.

If spirit means life and inspire means infuse with life or blow breath into, then when you feel inspired, the “breath of life” moves into, for, and through you, as well as into, for, and through that which you feel impelled toward, animated about, are passionate about.

So often, many people are concerned about how to identify their life purpose, their purpose for being here. What if it’s as simple as considering what inspires you? You may respond by saying many things inspire you. What if everything that inspires you is actually facets of one underlying theme: Live an inspired life?

When breath was used to define inspire, it was used as both an inhalation and an exhalation. Feeling inspired is a form of inhalation. Taking action is a form of exhalation. When your actions produce a desired outcome, your enthusiasm increases (inhalation), and you take another action (exhalation). Being inspired about something and acting on it is you breathing your purpose into your life and simultaneously sharing it with others. The result is more breath of inspiration and spirit for all.

If being inspired means being in spirit, or even the other way around, you can be fairly certain you’ll feel momentum to keep moving in a forward direction. Motivator and author Barbara Sher said, “The sooner you start getting some of what you really want, the more energy you’ll have to go for the rest of it.”

When inspired and in spirit, we feel alive and on purpose. Think of a time when you felt this way. This feeling is a good tool to measure if we perceive ourselves and our lives as on track and fulfilled in whatever way is appropriate for us. When inspired and in spirit, we’re in the flow.

For those who’ve wondered what it takes to operate in the flow of spirit, perhaps it requires awareness of this “breathing” inward and outward. To keep in flow, you find and affirm your inspiration, follow it, and act on it. This feeds and enhances the energy you have to keep going, and going for more, whether what you want more of is something at the inner level, outer, or both.

There’s a tendency to focus on what Spirit provides to us when, ultimately, our quantum Universe is a give-and-receive operation or system. Sometimes, all we need to do to kick-start it is give ourselves permission to receive then allow ourselves to give, or reuse and recycle, if you will, what we receive. “It’s not about what we can get from the flow, but that we get into the flow,” as Jeanna Gabellini stated.

When we focus solely on what we can get from the flow, that’s restrictive. It’s like inhaling and holding your breath. When we get into the flow, what we desire moves to us. Some of it is for us, and some of it moves through us so that we participate in the great give-and-receive loop that feels so good.

When we feel challenged, we can remind ourselves to “Just keep breathing,” and take in a breath that opens ourselves to inspiration. And then all manner of expected, unexpected, and wonderful things can happen—to us, for us, and through us. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.  

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

What Fears Are You Willing to Let Go Of?

It’s a new year. Do you really want to carry all the same fears you had in the last year into this one? Which ones can you let go of that you will let go of?

There’s nothing like getting ready to write an article like this one then having to live its message before you write the first word. Talk about making sure you don’t wax profoundly (one hopes), as though immune or above it all. That’s exactly what happened to me when something I relied on had a significant delay that affected me in a number of ways. You can bet my fears went into overdrive. And right in front of me, which I conveniently, repeatedly ignored, was a sheet of paper with the words that came to me late at night several weeks back: Fear is never the path to walk. Yep. And as many of us know, that is sometimes easier said than done.

While this article simmered on the back burner over the holidays, a quote from Abraham Lincoln, one familiar to most of us, made me look at this topic of fear a bit differently: “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” That’s exactly what fear does—it divides us, in some way, within ourselves, and we feel our world or some part of it is crumbling or at least trembling precariously in some measure. We don’t, and life doesn’t, feel stable at such times.

Fear divides us in global and local ways, but I want to focus on the personal ways it does this to us. When we’re afraid, it’s pretty darn difficult to feel whole, empowered, in flow—connected to all the good in the Universe. It’s difficult, if not impossible—depending on the circumstance—to remember that We Never Walk Alone. Source is always with us. Our Spirit self is always with us. But when our fearful emotions have us in upheaval, this Truth is not something we tend to remember, at least, not right away. It may take awhile. And in the meantime, we feel divided within ourselves and likely feel divided with one or more aspects of our physical, material, and even spiritual life.

Ernest Holmes wrote in The Science of Mind: “To hold one’s thought steadfastly to the constructive, to that which endures, and to the Truth, may not be easy in a rapidly changing world, but to the one who makes the attempt much is guaranteed.” This also applies to a rapidly changing life, but I like that Holmes doesn’t say to the one who does it perfectly, but instead says attempts.

Ultimately, experiences that rattle us demonstrate how much we’ve integrated spiritual realizations, or haven’t as yet, as well as what we still practice that’s opposite of Truth. But what Holmes said is what it’s about, isn’t it—making the effort just as soon as we remember to do this. Our efforts demonstrate intention and commitment to us and to the Universe, and this DOES matter and count in our favor.

What Truths do you absolutely hold steadfast to belief-wise, but still get rattled about when something doesn’t go the way you believe it should or you wish it would—and you find yourself in a state of fear? It’s a good idea to take a moment and write down a few of them. Look at the fears you practice—the “common” ones that make you feel god-awful when you feel them, even though you absolutely believe something else. The fears you’ve been trying to overcome for such a long time. What Truths do they conflict with? What are the fears really about?

Ernest Holmes said something that relates to this: “In the Subjective Mind of man, we find a law obeying his word, the servant of his spirit. Suggestion has proved that the subconscious mind acts upon our thoughts. It is the mental law of our being, and the creative factor within us…. It is enough to say that within us is a mental law, working out the will and purposes of our conscious thoughts…. And what we call our subjective mind is really the use we are making of the One Law… And each is drawing from Life what he thinks into It! To learn how to think is to learn how to live…” (Bolding is mine.)

What this means is something most of us already know: It doesn’t matter what we say we think; what matters is what we really feel and what this feeling leads us to practice, especially subconsciously. What we really feel lives in the subjective, subconscious part of our mind. It’s the undercurrent that moves beneath our conscious thoughts.

For example, you may say that in this new year you’re going to step into your greatness. But if your subjective (subconscious) thought—your personal use of mental law—conflicts with this in any way, you’ll deal with the same fears you’ve always dealt with. (This is to get your attention so that you find a way to free yourself from these thoughts.) For this example or any other, you have to ask yourself some good questions that lead you to your right answers—answers that will allow you to shift your subjective thoughts about whatever has you tied in knots so you loosen or free yourself from that particular tether. However, it’s important to remember that this applies to our personal spiritual path. We cannot intrude on another’s spiritual path, as much as we’d like to—as much as we’d like to ease the fears and pain we sometimes feel as a result of being a witness to their path.

Just a bit more from Holmes about this, because it’s important to keep in mind: “…we all use the creative power of the Universal Mind every time we use our own mind…. The conscious mind is superior to the subjective and may consciously use it…. The conscious mind is Spirit, the subjective mind is Law.” We CAN consciously do what it takes to override opposing beliefs stored in the subjective mind, until the new beliefs about Truth replace the old. In this way, we train ourselves to a new, improved practice. (Bolding is mine.)

Whatever you say you believe but don’t as yet practice as a Truth is something you want to look at, something you want to shift so you don’t carry all of the same old fears with you into this new year. You can pay attention to how some of those fears you’ve carried for years divide you in your inner “house” so you can make a conscious choice about what to do with them. Please note: I’m not talking about the fears that help keep you alive; I’m talking about the fears that keep you from living a fulfilling life. This is a very personal journey each of us must make for ourselves. And… It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

Create Your "Order Form" for 2015

This is THE time to get clear about what you want so you know what to aim at in the New Year. Here's a simple technique that helps you do this AND expand your magnetic energy.

Whatever you desire does not have to be important to others, only to you.

You know what you want in the areas of work, finance, family, personal development, spiritual development, social and intimate relationships, fun, and health—right? Or, maybe you sort of know what you want. Or maybe you don’t have a clue. Whichever one is true for you, this will assist you.

One way to amp up your energy and enthusiasm about a dream, goal, or desired outcome is to look at it more thoroughly than you may have, or reveal it to yourself, if you haven’t already. If you do what's suggested below, you'll get clearer and create an order form that inspires and guides you as you move forward, and that makes your energy magnetic.

Get a sheet of paper and a pen or create columns in a document on your computer. Pick something about your life or business you want to see happen, or take each life area listed above and give them their turn.

First column: Write what you don't want (don't list feelings here; they have their own column).You'd write something like “I don't want less than ten new clients a month;” “I don't want clients who don't pay, don't have a sense of humor,” etc. Or, “I don't want a relationship with someone who doesn't share my core values; is emotionally or otherwise unavailable,” etc. If you really want to amp this up, write down everything you don't want in every area of your life. Really purge here. Vent like crazy.

If you believe that positive, focused thinking means you should never put your attention on what you don't want, this is called denial, because what you don't want is rambling around in your subconscious anyway. You might as well give it an opportunity to be heard so it can stop bothering you. Self-sabotage usually happens when our conscious and subconscious thoughts contradict each other. Get the Don't Wants out instead of trying to suppress them.

Second column: Write what you don't want to feel (afraid, unsuccessful, taken for granted, overworked, confused, afraid of failure—or success, unloved if you're successful and prosperous, etc.). Go ahead and give voice to any and every such feeling.

Third column: Write what you do want (ten or more new clients a month; meet and get to know one or more new people also interested in a relationship, etc.). If you're inclined, amp this one up as recommended for the Don't Wants. No limits: if you want it, write it down; anything, everything. If you've been holding back, now is your time to let loose. Remember, this is for you, no one else.

Fourth column: Write what you do want to feel. List everything until nothing else comes up (valued, appreciated, respected, confident, on purpose, fulfilled, prosperous, safe, accepted, loved, etc.).

Fifth column: Write why you want it. Really let loose with this one. Whatever your why is, let it talk to you. When you find your why and it is compelling, you amaze yourself with the inspired ideas and actions that come to you. If your why isn't compelling, check to see if it's a case of "It would be nice . . ." rather than "I passionately intend it" (wish vs. commitment).

Sixth column: Write how you will feel once you have this (fulfilled, validated, free, on purpose, etc.).

Seventh column: Write how others will feel once you have this. How will your new clients feel when they work with you as a confident, fulfilled person? How will your staff and or family feel when they see you feeling so good? How will the person you move toward or into a relationship with feel about being around you, especially if you feel happy with yourself and your life?

Eighth column: Create a statement that helps you amp up your energy about this for as many areas of your life as you created a list for. You want a statement you can really buy into. If, at this time, you feel unsure about getting ten new clients a month or finding someone who wants to be in a relationship with you, writing that you have something as a given won't work, because you're not on board with it yet. And, that's fine. If that’s the case, try something like this: I want to believe that I can find a way to get ten new clients a month; or meet someone I eventually share a relationship with; or feel safe about having more of everything in my life, including money. See how this is a true statement but it doesn't put pressure on you?

Ninth column: Next actions. Maybe one or more next actions (inner or outer) come to you now or came to you as you wrote your responses. If not, not a problem. Write that you ask to be shown one or more next actions and know that because your focus is on receiving them, you will.

Before you go to sleep each night, read your statement(s). What you'll notice is that your statement(s) will change as you open to next actions and take them. You'll move from "I want to believe" to "I believe" to "I can" to "I have" or "I am." It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.                           

                                 

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say, and other books/ebooks, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com