Friday, October 2, 2009

How do You Grade Your Worth and Self-Worth?

Have you ever thought about how the way we’re taught to measure worth and self-worth is similar to how we got tests graded in school? There is an interesting parallel.

The school grades you received for tests measured, in a limited fashion: how well you took tests (often designed to be tricky), memorized, understood (or liked, from your side of things) what you were tested on, and—though more from your perspective than the system’s—whether or not you believed you’d have a use for the information now or in the future (felt it was applicable to your life experience or goal).

Whatever was being evaluated, your ability to conform was included, even though this measurement was subtle. There was little allowance or reward for thinking or performing “outside the box.” Play by the rules to be rewarded; failure to follow or conform received a penalty. (“Outside the box” is where inventions, innovations, and masterpieces live.)

What school grades didn’t measure was the truth of your unique intelligence and how you express it, emotional intelligence, common sense, creativity, humor, self-learning or self-adjusting abilities—and they never, ever measured your worth (as a contributing member to life) or self-worth (priceless, as you’re one of a kind).

When you consider what wasn’t measured, you can see the system was set up in a way that required you to adhere to limited and restricted criteria (rules of the game) in order to meet specific (limited and restricted) outcomes. It was never about who you really are, what you can do or flourish at or contribute, or your potential to expand at the inner and outer levels, as a unique individual.

Also, remember how obvious the restriction of high school seemed once you graduated, especially if you went to college and could schedule the classes you really wanted and at the times you preferred? You could chew gum, get rewarded for creativity (usually), and do lots of other things you couldn’t or didn’t do in that more circumscribed environment.

There’s a similar system in place when it comes to worth and self-worth, especially in regard to money. Adhering to the system is what mucks with most people and holds them back from playing a better game, the one where their worth and self-worth is a given, no matter what.

You’re taught that the number in your bank account or on your assets sheet is real and measures a particular “something” about your worth and self-worth. But, it doesn’t. It only measures how well you play that particular game; how well you conform. You’re taught you have to work certain ways, usually for an hourly or salaried wage; work an “acceptable” number of hours; and so on. Yet, we know people who do this differently and have fun and prosper. How do they get away with this?

They play a different game—because they don’t allow others to measure their true value.

Let’s presume you’re a spiritual- or metaphysical-minded person. Maybe you’re a Law of Attraction advocate (not necessary). If the number in your bank account is lower than you’d like, does that number reflect the Truth of You or does it reflect your belief in how your worth and self-worth is measured or should be—because others who adhere to “the game” told you it was so?

If you believe the latter half of the last sentence above, how does this influence or impact your ability to believe in yourself? What does belief in self have to do with success (the way you define it for you) or your ability to have a fulfilling life?

Look at biographies of some who’ve made a name for themselves in history. You’ll see there are those whose school test scores measured them as average or below average. It’s a good thing they didn’t allow this to stop them.

There’s a chance that, if you’re not doing as well as you’d like, you probably adhere to “outside” measurement standards that don’t serve you. Whatever your life (or bank account) looks like now is a reflection of your trying to play by rules that don’t fit you, especially if you know there’s more to “reality” than what you see. Two opposing thoughts/beliefs existing at the same moment, in the same space, cancel each other out.

Maybe it’s time you create your own game with its own rules—a game you win. One of the biggest wins you can have is to know your worth and self-worth, no matter the opinions of or rules set by others.

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