Friday, October 30, 2009

Say Goodbye to New Year Resolutions


No, it isn’t too early to consider this; it is exactly the right time. The very things you do or don’t do about resolutions are what you do right now. And, you can do them differently starting today.

First, it’s important to understand why resolutions you make any time fizzle out. For one, you may feel a strong desire for something to shift or change, but if your commitment to make it happen doesn’t match your desire, you’ll do what’s convenient (for a while or forever) rather than what it takes.

Another reason is maybe you aren’t clear on your why—why you really want what you say you do. The reason you think you want something may be buried under layers, hiding your real reason—which is a feeling you wish to have and keep. For example, if you want to reduce the numbers on a weight scale, what’s your why? If it’s so the opinion of others about you will be what you want it to be, that’s a formula for failure and an unpleasant experience.

Sometimes the absence of an effective plan is what causes the fizzle. What is an effective plan? It’s something you have head and heart alignment about or stated a less woo-woo way, are fully committed to and enthusiastic about. Resolution means you are resolved, intentional.

There are key steps to take in order to fulfill any desire and say goodbye to resolutions you don’t keep.

You have to have your Self aligned with what you say you want. If every day you replay images of yourself as not having your desired outcome—what it feels like to not have it, you aren’t fully open to ways you can make it happen more easily and with less effort. Whether you call this energy or attitude management, it’s important. You can’t feel hopeless and effect positive change. A small shift from “this is awful” to “there is a way” does make a difference, simply because one closes you off to inspired ideas and actions and the other keeps you open to them.

I’ve heard people state that anger is the motivation that moves them into action. Well, that is a step up from hopeless or apathetic, but actions taken from anger are not always the best ones to take. You might feed a need in the moment, but what do you intend to build long-term? How do you feel once the anger need is satisfied? It’s important to feel what you feel, but is it the best and only place you wish to or think you can act from? Is this state of being your desired one?

There are two ways to make a plan. One way is motivated by fear and/or frustration. It leads to long hours, agitated energy, and lots of activity that may not actually be productive.

The other way is to take a little time to get clear on what you really want then align your energy or attitude in a way that keeps you open to inspired ideas and actions, open to right timing, right people, right opportunities, and right resources.

You may be conditioned to believe that worry, strain, stress, frustration, criticism, and other such “motivators” are effective ways to create change, but how’s that working for you?

It’s also key that you put your attention on what really creates shift. You’ve been told you can’t succeed without a goal, without strategy, without a plan. These are tools that help you stay on track, but they aren’t what really make things happen.

Tremendous shifts happen, desired outcomes and even better ones happen, and your experience of your life is more effortlessly fulfilling when you take your main focus off outcomes and place it on the creative process and you as the creator—the inventor, engineer, or pilot of how you experience your life, at the inner and material levels.

This isn’t pie-in-the-sky thinking. When you do this, you build a foundation that is so strong, you can construct anything your truly desire on top of it . . . because what you build is self-trust, self-esteem, and self-empowerment.

Whatever you tell yourself you want through your New Year resolutions or resolutions at any time of the year, those three Self attributes are what lie underneath your reasons. You want to believe in yourself completely and from an authentic perspective, not a perspective of trying to get the approval of others—though that may happen as a side-effect.

You really do have the right to know what is appropriate and fulfilling for you and to go for it. You really can identify what would be ideal for you—the ideal relationship, business, holiday experience, self-image, and so on.

What’s probably causing you to feel fizzled-out is that you’ve never taken the time—or the courageous stand—to define what your ideals are for YOU in the different areas of your life.

How can you go for what you really want if you don’t even know what it is? A resolution is only as good as your clearly defined image of it, your commitment, your why, your enthusiasm, and your alignment with it.

Start now. It’s neither too early—nor too late.

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