Thursday, February 11, 2010

What Is Your Gift, and Do You Share It?

Your gift is what you do in your unique way. Ironically, you may do it so naturally, you don’t recognize it for what it is or realize what you might do with it.

Whatever you do in life, you can have a more joyful, meaningful experience if you shine the light on and share what is unique about you. We sometimes assume the way we do something is how everyone does it. This isn’t necessarily, and usually isn’t, the case. This is why something you do that you don’t think is very special or unique might be seen as very special or unique by someone else.

One of the fastest ways to identify or confirm this is to ask others. You can ask friends, family, clients, co-workers what they believe is unique about you. This is a good thing to do because you can pay attention to what their comments have in common.

I applied this to a friend of mine, a licensed therapist, who is highly skilled at what she does. What I perceive as natural for her is how she demonstrates the importance of including fun and humor in life, no matter what challenges may be happening. Not surprising is that she dreams of doing seminars, especially in corporate environments, to teach why appropriate humor and fun in the workplace are beneficial to well-being, creativity, and success. In her personal life, she lives what she desires to do. Yes, others do similar seminars; but she, especially with her background, could do it in a unique way.

You will benefit by asking this question of others, but you may have to work with the wording. I was told by one friend that she relies on me to tell her the truth, when she approaches me with a difficult challenge she’s having. Another friend said I help people feel good about themselves and about what they do, meaning that I support people when they struggle with an issue, and leave judgment out of the equation.

I looked at these two responses and recognized what was being said. I listen to people with more than my ears. I perceive what they don’t—stories they’re telling themselves, their limiting beliefs. I help them see what they’re missing because they’re too close to a situation or too used to it. I perceive the small bits and the bigger picture. I validate them. I help them shift something so they can move forward. And, I’ve always done this—in my unique way. I recall wishing in the early ‘90s, that there was a way I could do what I did so naturally, as a living. Then I read an article about a new field: life coaching. I felt like that old Reese’s candy commercial—the chocolate fell into the peanut butter, and a winning combination was created.

Sometimes it’s about what you do that you want to do in a unique way, but believe others would think something negative if you did it or, “Who would pay me to do that?!” Someone I know coached a divorce attorney who realized he didn’t like the bickering or nastiness some of his clients engaged in, especially when children were involved. He wanted to work solely with people who wanted peaceful divorces. He clarified his niche and was passionate about it. This allowed him to be clear about his services and ideal clients when he created his promotional materials. He never lacks clients. There was a ready market waiting for such an attorney—even if they weren’t aware of it.

If you love to make people laugh, does this mean your gift is less important than a heart surgeon’s skill? We know now about the healing qualities of laughter. If you’re able to make people laugh and ease the stings—or blows—that come into people’s lives, why wouldn’t you share that? Could you write articles, books, or Blogs in a way that changes people’s lives or entertains them in their preferred world of fiction? Could you combine your love of skydiving and spirituality to teach “flying at a whole new level”? This last one reminds you that you may have more than one gift and know you are happier if you can do some of each or find a way to merge them.

What might it cost you to identify your gift—that which is unique about you—and then share it—and, even be compensated for it? Will you have to confront negative beliefs about yourself? Give up some spare time or rearrange your routine to develop your plan and take action?

What will it cost you, personally, if you don’t do this? Will you deny your life’s purpose or see yourself as not deserving better life experiences? Will you remain in a self-imposed prison without bars, possibly based on someone else’s opinions or fears?

The real you—who you are—has a level of splendor within that can make a difference in your life and the lives of others, but only if you express it.

Focus+Meaning+Choice=Your Desired Experiences. Is it time to learn how to more effortlessly have desired experiences in life and business? Let the 4-week Reinvent Yourself coaching program or e-book of the program materials show you how. You Are More! Empowerment Coach and author Joyce Shafer (—Sign up now for the 4-week Valentine’s Coaching Special (sign-up deadline is Feb. 14/program starts when you sign up) or let the e-book guide you. Fall in Love with Your Life! Details at

1 comment:

  1. That's true our uniqueness is the only thing which differentiate us from others and this is the only thing which is liked by most of the people. One should always think what they want to do and not what others are doing.

    Life Coach-Sacramento