We sometimes say we
want certain things and may talk quite a bit about our ideas, but we don't take
the actions needed to make them happen. Perhaps a more honest statement would
be, "It would be nice, but I'm not willing (yet, if ever) to do what it
takes." That's a better thing to say because it's authentic.
The fact is this: Sometimes
reasons, based on facts, do hold you back. But such reasons can point you in
another direction or point your attention toward another way to accomplish what
you desire to. Someone intent on success, whatever that means to them, makes a
plan, figures out resources needed, and gets started, taking step after step
until the outcome is reached, however long it takes. Intention (and commitment)
sees obstacles as clues about what doesn't work and inspires us to ask what
might work instead.
When we say we can't
or shouldn't have to do something in order to have what we desire, this is the
time to look within. Sometimes, a particular fear is the cause of this mental
attitude. Sometimes, it's a belief that doesn't serve us. If there is something
you truly want but never seem to be able to attain it or you tend to stop just
short of the mark, you want to look at what's holding you back. Your excuses
are a good place to start.
Make a list of things
you believe you want in life. To the right, make two columns titled, "It
Would be Nice, But..." and "Whatever It Takes, I Intend to Make This
Happen." Place a checkmark in the correct column for each item you list.
This not only distinguishes what you'd like from what you are committed to, but
also shows where your energy is going and where it needs to be better directed.
Expending energy wishing for or talking about something you’re not committed to
taking action on is a huge waste of your precious energy, skills, and talents.
It keeps you from realizing your dreams and goals. It also causes those who
listen to you to not believe you, if all you do is talk.
Sometimes, what holds
a person back is unknown and requires therapy so it can be discovered and then
result in a significant shift happening. Maybe time with a life coach will help
to discover how to go beyond self-imposed limitations. Maybe the right-for-you
self-help book, where you do what’s asked, works like a charm. At the very
least, if you categorize what you believe you want into the two columns
suggested above, you discover whether an item is a genuine intended goal—or not,
as well as where you limit yourself with excuses, or where you plan to succeed.
The question is: Do you want to be remembered for your excuses or your
successes? Which one allows you to feel the way you desire to feel about
yourself? After all, why you want what you say you do is always about how you
want to feel about yourself, anyway.
I was contacted by
someone who'd read one of my articles and then got my Take This Life and Live It! workbook. Our conversation left me
inspired. A major transition is taking place in her life, one most would
consider negative. She contacted me because she wants to move forward in the
way most appropriate for her. This is courage in action.
The reason I say this
woman is courageous is that she doesn't choose to focus on the past. She
chooses to focus on the present and strengthen and direct herself so she can
better create her future now. She intends to use the workbook to not only
better understand what is happening at an inner level (emotions, thoughts), but
to also map out how she wants her life to look from this point on (work,
relationships, finances, etc.). She intends to make conscious choices on both
levels and do what she can to make this journey easier and focused. Detours
will arise; but she'll have her direction in mind and will find her way back
onto the path to get where she aims to go. Her choice is to respond, not react;
to move forward, not stagnate; to be her own compass, her own North Star.
Most of us have to
cope with a major life transition at least once in our lives, one where the
foundation we believed to be solid beneath us shifts or crumbles, and we find
ourselves looking for a foothold. Many deal with the accompanying emotions as best
they can and eventually choose to get on with their lives. Some, sadly, choose
to stay rooted in pain or frustration. The result of this is either a life not
lived fully or a tragic story that makes the news.
Courage is not the
absence of fear. Courage takes action in spite of fear. Action sets you free. It's important to make it Right Action, not reaction. Since this woman decided to
face this challenging time in this way, I trust she will accomplish whatever
she chooses as she heads forward, deliberately, on her path. Whatever she was
before, she is on purpose now. Be on purpose. It’s a good practice,
one you’ll appreciate.
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce L. Shafer
You are welcome to use this article in your
newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.
Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment
Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power.
She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and
other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers
empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com
No comments:
Post a Comment