Is It Time to Simplify?

Could a lesson from Super Nanny apply to you and your personal and professional life? If you feel stressed and overwhelmed… yeah.

The parents Super Nanny Jo Frost went to help were well-meaning—they wanted to give their children the best head start in life. Unfortunately, this meant not only school and homework hours for each child, but LOTS of additional activities to help them be well rounded individuals, as well.

Super Nanny pointed out two things:
Making their children engage so many activities meant the parents’ involvement with their children was minimized. Activities instead of TV were the babysitters. There was a real lack of quality time as a family.
The children were stressed out from being overburdened, which affected their behavior in a negative way.

Super Nanny did something that really drove point 2 home: she made a pile of objects that represented all the extra activities each child was enrolled in. There were books, drums, ballet shoes, sports shoes and equipment, and so on. The parents were instructed to put all the items that matched a child’s activities into each child’s arms. The children were instructed to make every effort to hold everything they were given. The visual effect of the children struggling to hold so much stuff that looked more like clutter than creativity was poignant. Finally, the little girl said, “I can’t keep holding all these!”

Super Nanny’s solution was to have the parents choose one activity they felt very strongly their children should engage and each child was told to pick one activity they really wanted to keep or to pick a new one. And, the parents were instructed on how to better engage as a family.

Your arms might be bigger than the little girl’s, but how would the load look that you may be trying to carry? Is it comfortable, stacked past your chin, straining your arms, falling from your grip? The parents had encumbered their children with extra activities without including choice in the mix. In your life, at least some of what you expect yourself to do is imposed by you and no one else; but you also want to consider who’s put what onto your shoulders and why.

How might this Nanny lesson apply to you?

You’re probably as well-meaning as the parents and really want to give yourself what you “believe” you need (in your opinion or that of others), possibly, whether your soul self really wants it or not.
You may have made yourself so busy that there’s little time for you and other parts of your life to get what’s needed for your personal and soul-self benefit.
You may have so many things to do or believe need to get done, your relationships suffer—the most important one being the relationship you have with yourself. Too much to do is one way many use to avoid looking at what’s out of balance in their life.
You may be so stressed or tired that you’re cranky or worse.
You may struggle to keep everything “in your arms” and fear dropping something or everything, and are possibly concerned with how you might appear to others if you let go of some things that aren’t working for you rather than how letting some go might enhance your life and well being.

Marcus Aurelius said, "Most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquility. Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?’” Super Nanny isn’t super because she does a lot, but because she focuses on what’s important so she can be effective and effect improvements that change lives in a positive way.

The gift download on my website, “focus: A simplicity manifesto in the Age of Distraction,” is one I’m pleased to provide because it ties in perfectly with Super Nanny’s point about the need to simplify—not solely from the too-much-to-do syndrome, but also the issue of multiple distractions that pull us off focus, not just on work but also on the other areas in our lives. The author of “focus”, Leo Babauta, wrote about overwhelm and addiction created by our new technological age, and how so many of us don’t even realize the impact on our lives because of it. Even if we don’t see it, we do sense it.

This week, maybe pay attention to when you feel stretched or stretched too thin. What’s causing this feeling? Is it a fact that you’re overburdened? If so, what solution are you willing to engage? Is it that you burden yourself with too much thinking rather than productive action? Over-thinking is a great avoidance tactic: It allows us to believe we’re being productive when we aren’t.

Eliminate and manage any distractions and extra tasks you can, and that make sense to shed, to simplify your life and reduce overwhelm, if that’s your choice.

Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
This week’s State of Appreciation is live! Gabriella Kortsch-“Entering the Now Moment by Leaving Unawareness Behind”; Guy Finley-“Stop Fear Before It Gets Started!”; “In the Mist” By poet Wendi Romero: http://stateofappreciation.webs.com

Say Goodbye to New Year Resolutions

No, it isn’t too early to consider this; it is exactly the right time. The very things you do or don’t do about resolutions are what you do right now. And, you can do them differently starting today.

First, it’s important to understand why resolutions you make any time fizzle out. For one, you may feel a strong desire for something to shift or change, but if your commitment to make it happen doesn’t match your desire, you’ll do what’s convenient (for a while or forever) rather than what it takes.

Another reason is maybe you aren’t clear on your why—why you really want what you say you do. The reason you think you want something may be buried under layers, hiding your real reason—which is a feeling you wish to have and keep. For example, if you want to reduce the numbers on a weight scale, what’s your why? If it’s so the opinion of others about you will be what you want it to be, that’s a formula for failure and an unpleasant experience.

Sometimes the absence of an effective plan is what causes the fizzle. What is an effective plan? It’s something you have head and heart alignment about or stated a less woo-woo way, are fully committed to and enthusiastic about. Resolution means you are resolved, intentional.

There are key steps to take in order to fulfill any desire and say goodbye to resolutions you don’t keep.

You have to have your Self aligned with what you say you want. If every day you replay images of yourself as not having your desired outcome—what it feels like to not have it, you aren’t fully open to ways you can make it happen more easily and with less effort. Whether you call this energy or attitude management, it’s important. You can’t feel hopeless and effect positive change. A small shift from “this is awful” to “there is a way” does make a difference, simply because one closes you off to inspired ideas and actions and the other keeps you open to them.

I’ve heard people state that anger is the motivation that moves them into action. Well, that is a step up from hopeless or apathetic, but actions taken from anger are not always the best ones to take. You might feed a need in the moment, but what do you intend to build long-term? How do you feel once the anger need is satisfied? It’s important to feel what you feel, but is it the best and only place you wish to or think you can act from? Is this state of being your desired one?

There are two ways to make a plan. One way is motivated by fear and/or frustration. It leads to long hours, agitated energy, and lots of activity that may not actually be productive.

The other way is to take a little time to get clear on what you really want then align your energy or attitude in a way that keeps you open to inspired ideas and actions, open to right timing, right people, right opportunities, and right resources.

You may be conditioned to believe that worry, strain, stress, frustration, criticism, and other such “motivators” are effective ways to create change, but how’s that working for you?

It’s also key that you put your attention on what really creates shift. You’ve been told you can’t succeed without a goal, without strategy, without a plan. These are tools that help you stay on track, but they aren’t what really make things happen.

Tremendous shifts happen, desired outcomes and even better ones happen, and your experience of your life is more effortlessly fulfilling when you take your main focus off outcomes and place it on the creative process and you as the creator—the inventor, engineer, or pilot of how you experience your life, at the inner and material levels.

This isn’t pie-in-the-sky thinking. When you do this, you build a foundation that is so strong, you can construct anything your truly desire on top of it . . . because what you build is self-trust, self-esteem, and self-empowerment.

Whatever you tell yourself you want through your New Year resolutions or resolutions at any time of the year, those three Self attributes are what lie underneath your reasons. You want to believe in yourself completely and from an authentic perspective, not a perspective of trying to get the approval of others—though that may happen as a side-effect.

You really do have the right to know what is appropriate and fulfilling for you and to go for it. You really can identify what would be ideal for you—the ideal relationship, business, holiday experience, self-image, and so on.

What’s probably causing you to feel fizzled-out is that you’ve never taken the time—or the courageous stand—to define what your ideals are for YOU in the different areas of your life.

How can you go for what you really want if you don’t even know what it is? A resolution is only as good as your clearly defined image of it, your commitment, your why, your enthusiasm, and your alignment with it.

Start now. It’s neither too early—nor too late.