Friday, September 5, 2014

When One Door Closes, What Do You Do?

Maybe a door that closes is small and made of plywood or huge and made of Australian hardwood, but it's still a door that closed; and you feel you're not standing on the side you thought you would be. Now what?

Inventor Alexander Graham Bell said, “When one door closes, another one opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

One kindness we can do for ourselves is to have dreams or goals, aim for them, move toward them, but remain flexible. Some things turn out just as we hoped. Some turn out better than we imagined; and others go in a direction opposite of where our target was or what we believe we want. Sometimes a door closes not because we were rejected, but because of something we rejected at the inner level. It’s very easy to say we want something and yet deep down we either don’t actually want it or don’t want it enough to do what it takes, or we know at our core that it isn’t right for us, or we doubt that we deserve it. The only person who can know which is the one that is a match for you at such a time is you.

The One Source has set up this Universe and version of reality so that all forms of abundance, prosperity, and wellbeing, on all levels, are yours—always and in all ways. But Source can only provide these to you as a result of your mental attitudes: that’s part of its set-up, so that all of us have ongoing opportunities to choose how we experience, expand, and evolve. If your mental attitude, likely instilled in you and reinforced by others, is one of lack or being undeserving, you possibly or probably, through your mental attitudes, reject your Good without realizing it more often than you realize.

I know someone who, years back, envisioned her target. Over time, she attempted to sneak up on it; sometimes she took aim, fired, and missed. Were she to be scored on determination and tenacity, her number would be quite high; but she forgot to remember her target was in a field shared by others and influenced by life. She forgot to be flexible. So fixated was she on her desired “door,” when another one opened that offered the best outcome, she couldn't see it for what it was and not only slammed the door, but cemented it shut.

Maybe each of us has done something similar. Her story is an example of someone who doesn't simply have a goal or dream, but an agenda. People with goals or dreams, keep their eyes, minds, and hearts open for and to others and resources that help make it happen, and they modify or adjust as needed. Those with an agenda manipulate, or try to, and get angry or despondent when things don't go their way. If the door they focus on closes, they fail to notice they're standing in a room full of doors where equal or better outcomes await them.

I paraphrase a quote we should keep in mind when events don’t go as we hoped: A “rejection” may be for our protection. Rejection does tie in with perceived closed doors. Whenever we face a major life change, it’s feasible that we might feel life itself has rejected us and our desired outcome. Ultimately, rejection happens in only one place: Within ourselves. What the closed door represents has all to do with feelings or emotions we may have to heal or deal with. At some point, we should recognize that the door is closed, perhaps even locked, perhaps for our own protection. When we acknowledge this, we can give ourselves permission to make a slow circle and notice the other doors available to us, ones we haven’t noticed before. For some of us, the only way we ever walk through the right-for-us door is if the one we’d attached ourselves to slams in our face.

Next time a door closes for you, plywood or hardwood, take the time you need to experience what you feel. Allow yourself to look for what can be learned or state that even if you can't see it now, there is surely something you can gain from your experience. Any form of rejection is always an opportunity to learn something about ourselves. Then, take a couple of deep calming breaths, draw your shoulders back, stand up straight, and look around until you find the door you are meant to walk through next. Go ahead. Take that first step. Your life, and the Good it wants to provide to you, is waiting for you to arrive. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.                
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at

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