How Moments Connect

There are times when we pay attention and are able to see moments string together like a jeweler strings pearls. Alter even one moment, especially because of an incorrect assumption, and the potential outcome shifts.

One reason the movie “It's a Wonderful Life” is a popular classic is because of the main message: each person plays a significant role in many lives, whether it’s a positive or negative role. Another reason is that the movie story demonstrates how events or moments connect in the bigger picture. We don't always pause to consider this.

Others and I played our roles in specific moments that, upon reflection, played out with the precision of fine clockwork. The result was the first-time inclusion of a piece of art in a local gallery by a member of my gang of friends. The timing sequence involved was so exact it caught my attention.

Our gang had gone to prior showings at the gallery in our Brooklyn neighborhood, and had discussed how the work of the active artist among us could easily be included in a showing. The opportunity came and he submitted a piece to be considered. Time passed and it was now two days before the opening and he hadn’t heard anything from the gallery owner. Then the magic began, and did so through “ordinary” moments.

Here's how the magic played out. One friend who lived on the first floor of our building e-mailed that she had returned from a follow-up visit to her surgeon. I felt inspired (compelled) to ask if I could go see her right then. She agreed, and I acted on it. I used the stairs rather than the elevator, and by the time I got to the floor where the artist friend lived, he came out of the elevator. I asked about his submitted piece to the gallery. He said he'd heard nothing from the gallery. Note: He'd used the elevator because he was coming up from the basement. Had I used the elevator, we would not have seen each other because I would have gotten out on the first floor and the elevator would have then picked him up in the basement.

I suggested he follow up with the gallery since we know that some e-mails never arrive or get lost in the shuffle. He shifted from crestfallen to more hopeful, went inside his apartment, and I continued down the stairs to visit my other friend.

When I returned to my apartment, I found an e-mail from my artist friend stating he'd followed up with another e-mail to the gallery, as I’d suggested. He could just as easily have assumed there was no point to doing so. Our gang tends to make our e-mails about certain topics a group e-mail; so another friend e-mailed a comment about this. Feeling frustration on behalf of the artist friend, her negative comment was based on an assumption that proved not to be the case.

I had an event to attend that evening. Before I left my apartment, I received an e-mail from my artist friend saying the gallery owner e-mailed back that his piece was included. Had he heard my suggestion and decided not to act, or had he accepted the other friend's assumption as truth (we all do this at times), or had I taken the elevator instead of the stairs, he and we would have missed out, as would have others: his work is genuinely good.

At the evening event, I was talking with other friends about attending the gallery show, when the gallery owner walked up. I told her my friend was excited about being included. She told me how happy she was he'd e-mailed her again because she’d really wanted to include his piece, but his e-mail had gotten lost among the torrent of e-mailed submissions she'd received.

If you look at how many people were involved in this singular event (including the people who put the event together I attended that night, and who had to know whom) and how things flowed, you get an idea (if you've never played with this before) of how energy can work, when we allow it (and pay attention to the smaller and bigger picture). You also get a glimmer (if you've never considered it before) about how connected everyone and everything is. Remove or alter, even by seconds, any one moment (or person) from the list above and you can see how the outcome could have shifted in a variety of ways.

We participate in helping energy flow either positively or negatively. It's always a moment-by-moment choice.

It's also a great lesson about how making an assumption, and assuming it's true, and then acting as if it is true, has the potential to steal experiences (and magical moments) from us. I try to remind myself as often as possible that when something looks one way, it may be another. Very often, what's necessary is more information.

A real problem can be solved; an imaginary one cannot.

It's a good practice to ask, "Do I have enough information to know what's really going on?" This one question can save us minutes or hours or years of entering the negative-thought vortex, based on an incorrect assumption. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.   

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

What Is the Main Thing You Should Focus On?

Bob Proctor said, “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” We are best served if the main thing is what we focus on. So, what is the “main thing?”

Is the main thing one of these: Actions? Beliefs? Desires? Goals? Results? Nope. The Main Thing is stated in this additional wise statement by Bob: “Your results are an expression of your own level of awareness.”

Ernest Holmes can contribute something about this from his book, The Science of Mind: “There is a law in physics which says that water will reach its own level by its own weight. There is a law of metaphysics corresponding to it; consciousness will externalize at its own level, by its own recognition. We may call this faith, we may call it embodiment, we may call it whatever we will, there is something in the Universe which responds and corresponds to our mental states. Therefore, it is imperative that we turn from the relative, because TO VIEW LIMITATION IS TO IMPRESS IT UPON THE MIND, and accentuate the state of consciousness which produced it. It is not always easy to turn from fear, from poverty and pain, and from the hurt of human existence, to that which is perfect. But whoever can do this—and will train himself to do it—will be like the man healed of blindness. He had little comprehension of how it had been done; he could only say: ‘Whereas I was blind, now I see.’” Your primary focus is better placed on expanding your awareness. Everything else is built upon this. How often this fact gets lost in the shuffle, a shuffle often tempered with fear and frustration.

Are you aware of things you can do but aren’t doing, in your own best interest and perhaps in the best interest of others as well? Are you doing things you really don’t have to do, but haven’t reached the point of awareness that you don’t have to do them or accept or allow them? Are you aware that improper focus on results creates an energetic ripple-effect that impedes your experience and progress?

If too much focus is on desired results (future), you’re not 100 percent in your present, right-now moment, with all the opportunities at hand for your benefit. You’re also not fully aware of, which means you’re not fully appreciating, all that you do have right now (appreciation is a magnet that draws and delivers your good to you). The most significant things you have with you always are your current level of awareness and your ability to expand your awareness.

If too much focus is on desired results, you go into compete-mode: competing with your past and with others; competing to get more money, material items, satisfaction, and so on, rather than being in creative-mode, which leads to and results in all of these. In compete-mode, you struggle. You fret. You take lots of actions or feel immobilized, driven primarily by panic, fear, frustration, or doubt.

In creative-mode you use your energy wisely and follow what you feel inspired and motivated to do, which then leads to something that benefits you as well as others. When you follow what you’re inspired and motivated to do, you are joyful and enthused more often than not. You pay attention differently, which expands your awareness, in each moment. You appreciate the journey as much or even more than the destination; and, you are true to yourself.

If having more money or any desired result is a concern—that is, it causes you to worry—where is your focus, your energy, your awareness? Likely, NOT aligned with creativity, enthusiasm, joyfulness, inspired ideas, inspired motivation, much less Trust in the Source of All Things to operate in and on your behalf. You may stand in the inner space of all this chaotic energy, using spiritual techniques frantically (or not) and expect desired results to penetrate that energy and end your emotional pain and frustration. You may do the same with frantic outer actions (or not). That’s kind of like expecting to perform at your best while someone standing next to you is raging at you: you are both the performer and the one raging. You can expand your awareness about this with this thought: “I can get anywhere from here,” here being wherever you currently are at the inner and outer levels.

You may have been lured into a fallacy about results through flashy-things e-mails that aim at your fears and tell you that if you do “this,” you (like the sender) can get thousands of dollars or massive success or whatever form of relief you seek and do so overnight, in one week, in one month. Maybe you can, but how long was the inner and outer journey to get where you are now? However long, this doesn’t mean shifts into improved circumstances will take as long.

Or, you may repeatedly start new paths or projects then stop doing them just as quickly as you decided to start. This happens because you are looking, perhaps somewhat desperately, for something to create that shift you so desire. This is also what many of the books, tapes, videos, and so on that take up, perhaps clutter, your space are about, which can also sometimes be flashy-things: You seek the magic “key” that will unlock the innate awareness you already possess, though you may initially or still believe it is something that has to come from outside of you, from somewhere or someone. At the very least, let these things stimulate your thoughts that lead to awareness. Shift yourself first; calm down and allow your awareness to communicate with you and inspired ideas appropriate for you to arrive. Then take action you have head-and-heart alignment and genuine enthusiasm about.

You can easily fall into the trap of focusing on results, to end your pain or frustration fast, instead of expanding awareness, which shifts pain into wisdom, which is a far better guide to actions that lead to improved experiences and results. If your energy is entwined with beliefs that hold you back and keep you unaware of your true power, even if you use flashy-things and get some results initially, you’re awareness may not shift and you’ll find yourself paddling in the same old boat, perhaps more than once. 

And, you’ll repeat similar inner experiences, and similar outer ones, until you expand your awareness in a way that shifts this. You’ll continue to focus on what you don’t have or can’t do and not appreciate what you do have and can do or already do. What you CAN do from the inner level goes underused, or even ignored, more than put to best use. You continue to believe the Power is outside of you, which means you don’t expand awareness and expression of your True Power. Denial of your true power is the foundation of your discontent. And this behavior does nothing to strengthen your Self trust or to trust your experiences happen for a reason, or that you can expand your awareness as a result of them.

A very simple example is when I found I had to walk in weather that was cold, windy, and rainy and asked myself how I could expand my awareness about that. My immediate answer was: I can choose how I “do” weather. I could be unhappy and complain about it or I could find something to appreciate or focus on a project I was enthusiastic about. Just as we are not obligated to complain about weather we consider inclement, we are not obligated to complain about lots of things, rather than do something more constructive or productive with our time and energy. Alan Lakein said, “Time equals life; therefore, waste your time and waste your life, or master your time and master your life.”

You may also have been convinced that “fast” is the way; yet, the contrast that belief creates with the belief in—the trust in—Right Timing is not recognized and allowed. Do you even perceive the energetic conflict that particular belief sets up inside of you? Expand your awareness As You Go. Your results will keep pace, in their right timing for your particular spiritual purposes. This means some results WILL happen fast; but you frustrate yourself when you expect every result to do so. This causes you to not pay attention to the Important Stuff—the opportunities to expand your awareness going on all the time. Your awareness is the foundation that underlies everything in your life.

Here are some awareness-expanding questions:

§         Do the thoughts, words, actions, FEELINGS I have (or “feed”) support that the power over my self and my experiences is outside of me or within me?

§         Should I do what everyone else does, or says I “should” do, or should I open myself to inspired ideas and motivation about what’s appropriate for me, based on my head-and-heart alignment, and act from there?

§         Does my motivation to take an action come from inner knowing or from fear? Which will energize me? Which will exhaust me?

§         Am I paying attention to my feelings and what they attempt to tell me?

§         From what level of awareness do I listen and act?

§         Do I connect my experiences to my thoughts that preceded them as often as I might?

Your experiences and results are an expression of your own level of awareness, which is something you have absolute control over. The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. Life and how you choose to perceive and experience life improves when you amp up your awareness. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.                      

          

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

You are welcome to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog/website as long as you use my complete bio with it.

Joyce L. Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say” and other books/e-books, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

What’s Your Inner Game?

Accomplishing what we desire for ourselves or our lives is sometimes or often a struggle. Strategy is important, but your inner game has all to do with it, as well. Maybe it’s time to review yours.

Coach Jeanna Gabellini offered a free e-book with the intriguing title, “10-Minute Money Makers.” So of course I wanted to see what she had to say about this. It was not exactly what I expected—it was better. She addressed practical matters in her usual excellent fashion, but Jeanna reminded readers of something vital in order to create desired life experiences: your inner game is more powerful than any strategy.

As I read through her e-book, I made notes and added my own thoughts. In particular, I made notes to read each morning to get my inner mental and emotional game going. I’d like to share some of my notes with you, because although they can apply to business and finances, as Jeanna addressed in her material, they absolutely can apply to everything.

• Mindset matters. It creates a smooth path or detours and bumpy roads.
• If what you’re doing feels ploddingly hard or difficult, STOP. This means that timing is off, or your strategy is not aligned with your values, or you’ve got to shift a belief so you can move forward.
• The best results happen when you’re grounded and confident.
• No looking at your past “reality” as though it is likely to or will repeat. You’re creating your present and future right now, perhaps based in part on what you learned from past experiences, but mostly from the vision of your desired now and future.
• No beating yourself up about the current state of any area of your life you intend to improve. Just start taking steps to improve it.
• Let go of “trying hard” to find a miracle solution for any issue that has your attention. Tune in to your inner guide AND tell Source you ask for and allow yourself to receive the right solution.
• Never sell your soul to create or receive anything you desire. Work with and trust Source to assist you in appropriate ways.
• Attach your energy to providing service, making a difference, and prosperity and abundance.
• Do what you can, and feel good about it.
• Don’t diminish yourself in any way, for any reason, especially not out of desperation.
• Baby steps create momentum. Once you take a first or next step, trust the momentum, without any attachment to results. Attachment to results pulls you out of creative power. Your happiness does not depend on results.
• If you constantly worry, about anything, you’ll create behaviors based in and on fear. You’ll establish neural pathways in your brain that take you down paths (or ruts) that lead to more of the same. Create better pathways for your brain to follow. Working with and trusting Source helps to do this, as well as letting go of old stories and envisioning new, desired ones.
• Decide to receive what you desire. You don’t have to know the how for this decision to be effective and to attract what you desire to you. The how will reveal itself to you or surprise you, at the right time.
• Check on your relationship with, rather than to, life. What is your vibe about life: fear or enthusiasm?
• Stop trying so darn hard and have fun!
• Identify and assess anything and anyone misusing and or depleting your resources of time, energy, or money, as well as what kind of ending may be needed.

That last bulleted item is a big one. Dr. Henry Cloud reaches into the heart of it in his book Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward. And he gets to the crux of the matter right at the start of the Preface when he states this: “In your business and perhaps your life, the tomorrow that you desire and envision may never come to pass if you do not end some things you are doing today.”

The good cannot begin until the bad ends, as Dr. Cloud clarifies. This includes pruning whatever it is in your inner game that holds you back, as well as any outside influences having a negative effect on you and your life; though, he recommends that sometimes even the good has to be pruned to make way for the best. This may feel like one of those “easier said than done” bits of advice for anyone who has not learned how to do this pruning in the right way, perhaps fears it, or has yet to realize how significant pruning can be to any form of sustainability of your time, energy, and money—your three top resources. Your inner game needs to include necessary endings, which are a natural part of life, as well as whatever supports and strengthens your mindset. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.          

           

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce L. Shafer

Whenever There’s A Storm, Open Both Doors (Negative Emotions)

The article title is not advice for inclement weather, but for times when life brings inner storms into our experience. It’s advice to keep in mind for good reason.

A character in the PBS program “Call the Midwife” was a former prisoner of war and was talking with a midwife who’d been put into an internment camp when she was nine years old and had to watch her mother and sister die gradually of various abuses and starvation. He realized the midwife was harboring ghosts of her past in her present, and told her that his mother always opened the front and back doors of their home when it stormed. The reasoning she’d given him when he was a child was that this way, any misery from the storm couldn’t find a home there. It would blow through.

This made me think of how much debris from prior and current negative emotional experiences we hold onto, mostly because we aren’t taught to open both “doors” so the debris doesn’t find a home inside of us, by others who also never learned this or never figured it out for themselves. Because of this, we tend to let these negative- or traumatic-emotion squatters take up residence within us. We harbor them like the criminals they are. We feed them as though they are paying visitors rather than the intruders they are on our joy and peace. We’re the ones who pay for letting them stay.

Most of us are familiar with the quote “This too shall pass,” but we usually consider this to mean the experience will end eventually. We can enhance this and decide to let it also mean we are to allow our negative attachment to the experience pass through us as well. Otherwise, the experience doesn’t really end for us, does it? We keep it alive. We repeat the story of it to ourselves and others, perhaps over and over. We dredge it up or it rises to the surface whenever we’re triggered in a particular way, as though a thought we have rushes to a filing system to call up supporting evidence for why we have a right to feel as we do, when in fact, what it means is that there is a wound that needs to be healed.

How we treat ourselves as a result is we don’t love and approve of ourselves as fully as we ought to. We feed low self-esteem or false arrogance and or behaviors that don’t serve us or bring us joy or peace or fulfillment. We feel less, so expect less. We don’t feel whole. We wear our past like a garment—we brush our teeth with it—rather than embrace our present and anticipate our future from a positive perspective, mindset, and state of being.

How we treat others as a result is often with an undercurrent of anger, frustration, or fear. We react to them more often, perhaps, than we engage and make real connection with them. We don’t trust ourselves, which we project onto them. We don’t trust them, because they project ourselves back to us, whether we realize this and are discomforted by the mirrored image or we don’t realize it and we blame them for how we continue to feel, sometimes long after a negative experience has happened.

How we respond to life as a result is we don’t trust life. We don’t believe or allow ourselves to believe that life loves and supports us, and this mindset prevents life from fully reflecting love and support back to us as our experience. We don’t or we hesitate to take calculated risks and stretch ourselves so we can learn and grow and expand our consciousness and our experiences. We hold ourselves back from our authenticity and fulfillment.

In Dave Markowitz’s book Self-Care for the Self-Aware: A Guide for Highly Sensitive People, Empaths, Intuitives, and Healers, which, by the way is an excellent book for anyone who needs to deal with grief and negativity, he includes a technique called the Keyhole. It’s a technique akin to the prisoner-of-war character’s open-both-doors philosophy. Dave realized that when we find ourselves in the midst of negative energy, or know we will, the energy will enter us energetically (he explains why energy shields are not as effective as we’d like or expect). That energy then gets trapped inside us.

This is not far-fetched. Just think of the last time you were with someone negative and how you felt during and after that interaction, possibly for a long while. Their negativity was absorbed and carried around by you, unless you used an effective technique to prevent this or to release it. Dave even states it’s important to not let the negative energy touch the sides of the Keyhole—that is, touch you in any way. The negative storm moves through your Keyhole without touching you, without any of it glomming onto you. That’s an image that’s valuable.

In life, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.” So many around us practiced holding onto and allowing emotional suffering to take them over that we couldn’t help but to absorb this as a natural way to be and behave. We feel bad about ourselves or feel we’ll be judged a bad person if we don’t do life this way, until of course, we learn better.

Perhaps this image may assist you. Do this the next time you’re triggered, or you might deliberately choose some emotional energy you want to be rid of now. Imagine that emotional energy as a bit or pile of debris on the floor in the hallway that connects to the front and back doors of your home (your inner self). You go to the back door and open it. You go to the front door and open it, standing aside. You invite the Great Breath of Source to blow every bit of that debris out through the back door and up into the ethers, which Source is delighted to do for you as an act of total love and support for you. Every bit of that hallway is now sparkling clean and fresh. Your ideal experience, and maybe it will take more than one such cleaning, is for what once triggered you or held you back to be a mere memory that no longer holds your attention for more than a brief second, if that. 

I realize that this is good advice but not necessarily easy to practice, especially if you’ve had a life-long habit of taking negativity in and not knowing exactly how to deal with it. It’s especially challenging to remember when you’re in the midst of an emotional storm. But, just as it’s a good idea to remove clutter from your living and work spaces, it’s a good idea to remove clutter from your inner home, so that you can move around in there with the same ease and grace and constructive, productive function you desire from your physical spaces. Such openness leads to inspired ideas and an inspired life.

And when you know a storm is coming, or suddenly find yourself in one, if you can remember to open both doors within your energy, do so. If you don’t happen to remember this at the time, remember to use a technique as soon as you can or it feels appropriate for you, to clear any residual negative energy so that you return your inner home to its true beauty, joy, and peace. It may take time, patience, and practice. But… It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.         

           

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

Do You Compare Yourself and Your Life to Others?

Do you ever compare where you are now in your life to where others are, or to where you thought you should be by this time? If you do, and don’t feel happy as a result, the comments here may help.

I have a friend who, when she set up a social site page and began to reconnect with long-lost friends, learned who was doing what now. She shared with me that temporary depression settled upon her, as she compared her life to the lives of some she connected with. I say “temporary” because she eventually realigned her true feelings about this. My friend is, in the main, happy in her life and has good reason to be.

Back in the day, others saw her as a leader, a person going places in her life. The reality is a health condition started nearly two decades ago and altered that predicted-by-others path for her. She felt she’d let everyone down because she wasn’t in a high-powered position or owned her own company, or whatever else she and they may have expected and as some of her friends experience.

We never know a person’s complete story, despite what their successes, or what seems to be lack of successes, appear to be. And sometimes, even when we know what’s not working in their lives, we still dwell on something they do have that we feel we lack. As for my friend, the muse later paid her a visit and she’s created an enterprise that connects donated used musical instruments with students who want to play an instrument but can’t afford one. This has energized her and her life in major ways, as well as benefits many others in the process. This is what she was meant to do and when she was meant to do it. But, everything had to line up for this moment, including her inner vibration and energy.

"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." Steve Furtick

Comparing ourselves to others has a not-so-funny way of making us forget to what measure we’re actually happy with where and who we are. No one lives a life without challenges or feeling a range of emotions; but we are often generally happier or more content, for the most part, than we recognize or our ego aspect allows us to recognize. Things changed for my friend when she became peaceful and happy with who she was and where she was in her life. That state of mind and being opened a door that was ready to be opened in her life.

As I thought about what I wanted to say to my friend, before she had her inner shift, an image came to mind and I share it with you here. Imagine you enter a magnificent hall. There is a table in the middle of the room and you walk up to it. There is only one thing on the table: a beautifully bound book with your name engraved on the cover. You open the book to the first page and find this written on it: Please answer this question in order to choose one of the following two options, and know that whichever one you choose will design the map of your life. Question: Do you choose to do and be what makes others happy and win their approval or do you choose to do and be what makes you happy and fulfilled?

I imagined posing these options to a child of age four. It seems easy to imagine a child choosing to be happy — because the child wouldn’t have a clue what the first option might take to succeed at it, but is, likely, darn sure she or he knows what “happy” is. As adults, and if we’re honest about it, we’ve learned how exhausting the first option can be; yet, we may still feel conflicted about choosing the second option because we’re indoctrinated by our families and every element of society to go for the first one.

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” ― John Lennon

In my image, the page with that question appears periodically in the book so we can revisit this choice at different life stages in our life. However, it isn’t beyond imagination that this page appears in our life book whenever we think it’s time to consider our options again, especially when we feel we aren’t living an authentic life and, possibly, aren’t even sure what that means to us after years of disregarding it. It also appears at the end of certain chapters (and beginnings of new ones) in our life.

The pain of inner discontent drives us to seek external balms and remedies, to seek instant gratifications, which are usually just bandages covering emotional bruises or wounds that influence our authenticity and responsibilities to ourselves and our life. But these externals and the pursuit of or craving for them does not address what begs for nourishment inside of us. Whatever word(s) we use — secure, prosperous, successful, loved, and so on — we, ultimately, want to feel good, feel in harmony, about who we are. We’ve become confused about how we can arrive there after years of asking ourselves what others expect of us so we’re accepted and approved of, instead of what we want, need, and require for ourselves, our well-being, and our joy.

I recently read, “There are many types of success and they aren’t all about getting ahead.” To be consumed with external, tangible success, completely or more so than with inner, intangible success, smacks of “I’ll be happy when” thinking, feeling, and behaving. That kind of thinking, feeling, and behaving ignores present-moment happiness, which is a form of self-abuse practiced far too often by far too many of us. This is because it’s a program that was downloaded into us long ago, one that needs replacement with a better one.

We forget to count our successes that no one can measure but us, because we’re conditioned to focus on how others think we measure up. If we remembered to genuinely appreciate all our successes often, we’d feel a great deal happier, content, and fulfilled. We can also look at any area of our life we feel needs a positive shift and ask, “What can I do that I will do to allow me to do better than this?” It doesn’t have to be huge, just effective. Don’t talk about it; start where you are, and do something different or differently.

So, the question is: Do you choose to do and be what makes others happy and win their approval or do you choose to do and be what makes you happy? Like the four-year-old child, are you clear about what that overall feeling, as opposed to appearances, means to you? Maybe it’s time to ask yourself this and see what you learn. And, it’s okay to do this each day and especially at crossroad moments in your life. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.       

           

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

Why the Way You Experience Life Is What It Is

Why is it that your efforts don’t ever seem to pan out as you’d like? Why does the same type of stuff happen to you repeatedly? Why can’t you get unstuck?

Each of those three questions is an important one, but especially why you can’t seem to get unstuck. Anyone who feels stuck in a life they desire to be different and improved contends with the fact of life in this physical-reality experience that how we experience life is a match to or reflection of our inner identity. Let’s go ahead and admit it: this just doesn’t feel good to know or accept. It’s easier to blame someone or circumstances. But that doesn’t create desired shifts, nor will it ever.

One of the popular practices promoted is to shift your thoughts to better ones. That can certainly be helpful and certainly aims you in a better direction than negative thoughts about you or others or circumstances ever could—which they can’t. There are times when that kind of positive-thought shifting feels easier and at other times feels nearly impossible. And, why doesn’t this always work or last as expected or desired?

Shifting thoughts, or using affirmations or visualizations, happens at the conscious level of mind. That’s all well and good—UNLESS—at the subconscious mind level, your inner identity is in direct contrast with what you use your conscious mind to try to convince your ego aspect is otherwise. You’ve got programs running deep, like an underground river, which means that’s where you need to paddle your boat if you’re going to move forward and find your way into the air and light.

It seems logical to then look at beliefs. You’ve possibly done exercises where you look at the beliefs you grew up with and absorbed from others about money, education, success, self-worth, your lovability, and so forth, and then rewrote them as better, more supportive belief statements. That’s a good practice, too. But why doesn’t that practice stick as well as expected either, if it hasn’t? It’s because the original beliefs became what you practiced for a very long time—they influenced your inner identity, and the new belief statements became your new verbal practices, but they don’t address your inner identity—what you believe you know about you as fact and truth, which is where you operate from at all times. And this is why you can get stuck here in belief statements, as well.

Maybe you try to convince yourself to believe in you because you weren’t taught to do that or because your value and worth and lovability were diminished by someone you trusted. But that was their practice, not the truth of you or about you. If—and when—you can truly see yourself as an expression of the God-Mind, you will realize that any thought you have about yourself that isn’t in alignment with that Truth can only be an illusion you practice. What makes the illusion feel real is that your inner identity gets matched in the physical realm to and with people and experiences—like moths to a flame. This is why any true and positive change or shift matches your inner identity at all times.

Your inner identity goes much deeper than the conscious level. It goes into the heart of what you believe about you and even deeper into what you believe about Source, God, God-Mind, One Consciousness, Universe—call it what you will. You may have said to yourself that you are an expression of the God-Mind and have a connection with God-Mind, and meant it or meant to mean it, but do you believe it as your inner identity, to the point where you know without doubt that it’s your Truth? It’s one thing to say it and another to believe it, know it, and live from it. If you’ve believed negative things about yourself for a lifetime, stepping into this Truth may or may not be as quick and easy for you as you’d like. But it’s doable, and it’s worth it so that you live and experience the true dignity of your existence.

If you can truly see and allow that you are an expression of the God-Mind, you will realize that absolutely nothing and no one is the source of your abundance, prosperity, well-being, worth, deservedness, lovability, and so on—no matter appearances—other than God-Mind, which is the only source, and your only Source, of everything. When you can begin to align with that as a fact of YOU and everything and everyone in creation, your inner identify can begin to realign with that Truth instead of the illusions you’ve believed. How you choose to feel about your experiences will shift. You will see your outer experiences begin to match or reflect your inner identity in ways that seem magical because of how fluid and natural they become. It’s possible that you’ve had moments where this was your experience. These were times when you connected with this Truth and experienced that connection as a feeling, a knowing. It’s a feeling like no other.

When your inner identity is aligned with this Truth, or as it begins to align with it, circumstances will become signposts that direct you onto a better path for you, rather than be viewed by your ego aspect as obstacles to beat your head against or be defeated by. And, you will no longer be able to tolerate some of the nonsense you currently tolerate from others or from yourself. I recently saw a quote that’s supposed to be Polish in its origins and is used when others want to pull you into their nonsense: “Not my circus. Not my monkeys.” You’ll also become aware that people who bring nonsense into your life, even serious types of nonsense, are letting you look into a necessary mirror to show you where and what your inner identity is reflecting outwardly and where and how it needs adjustment and realignment to the Truth of your divine nature.

You know your inner identity needs your attention when:

• You are present physically but are mentally focused on or in someone else’s business and life more than in or on your own. That’s a clear signal that you’re engaging victim mentality or are avoiding your own life and what may be needed to strengthen your inner identity, or that you’re doing both.
• Your sense of self and self-worth is diminished or lacking.
• Your energy for your life is lacking.
• You rely on others instead of yourself to cause you to feel good about you or to feel lovable and valuable. No one but you can heal the inner wounds that have influenced your expression of your inner identity.
• Even if loved by someone and or others, you still feel undeserving. This taints the love you give and causes you to fear giving and receiving love, as well.
• You live from your ego rather than your authentic self.
• Even though good things happen to and for you, you still feel empty and or undeserving.
• Compliments or praise make you feel uncomfortable rather than appreciated.
• You’re in a non-reciprocated intimate relationship (or any non-reciprocated relationship). You allow and accept less than you deserve from any and maybe all relationships, personal and professional.
• You allow yourself to accept blame for how consistently unhappy or angry someone else is.
• You allow verbal or physical abuse or apathy from someone or anyone, especially repeatedly.
• Most of your time and energy is spent putting out “fires”—yours or someone else’s—instead of creating something new that you’re enthusiastic about or on being focused on moving forward in your life.
• You use alcohol or other chemicals to escape or cope (long-term and frequent use, as opposed to occasional use).
• You ignore the “red flags” when you meet someone new, whether personally or professionally, and allow yourself to get hurt—again.
• You keep attracting the same types of non-supportive or emotionally unavailable or abusive people, whether in your personal or professional life or both.
• You people-please in an effort to receive approval, acceptance, and proof you are lovable and worthy.
• A person whom you know you shouldn’t be in any kind of relationship with keeps hooking you back in, including with “Let’s stay friends.” You’re addicted to the person—or rather, addicted to the chemicals that flood your body from the stress you experience with them or when you think about them, and your cells keep asking for hits of that particular “drug.”
• You’re addicted to stress and drama, which causes self-sabotage.
• An extreme form of this is when you’d rather not live than make necessary changes, mostly because you don’t realize it’s the condition your inner identity is in that’s contributing to your experiences—and that it doesn’t have to be this way. It’s not your physical life you want over but the cause of what hurts you that you want stopped. It won’t be anyone or anything that shifts in order for this to happen: it will be your inner identity that shifts, and you’ll be amazed at how wonderful this feels, because it is ultimately the true you that you seek and desire to be and express.

There are two significant ways to restore, realign, and re-enliven your inner identity: 1) Get clear on and in your relationship to and with Source and 2) love and encourage yourself from genuine (not egotistical) love and appreciation of and for you. Both of these, working together, can bring healing to emotional wounds that caused your inner identity to suffer. No affirmation, visualization, or positive thought can restore self-love. In fact, as well-intentioned and temporarily beneficial as these can be, they tend to remind you of what you believe you lack. Only your true willingness to love and appreciate yourself and your connection to Source can accomplish this restoration and replenishment. As a dialogue line in one of the Chronicles of Narnia movies said: “I’ve spent too long wanting what was taken from me, instead of what was given.” You’ve forgotten what Source gave you as your birthright—your heritage, as well as your personal power and your divine attributes to use while you’re here. This statement, borrowed in part from the bible, may help: I can do all things through SOURCE, which strengthens, supports, and supplies me through its Infinite Love and Resources.

You also want to stop putting your attention on what happened or happens that calls your inner identity into question and focus instead on why your soul aspect was or is willing to allow such experiences to happen, which was or still is to inspire you to heal childhood wounds that cause you to have the types of experiences you have as an adult, and to take responsibility for knowing and defining your true inner identity rather than let anyone else define it. If your inner identity needs redefining, please understand that this is one of the best, most loving things you can do for you. Others will benefit, but this is for you. It may also require some time and definitely intention, dedication, and—I’ll repeat—time, intention, and dedication to you and your right to an amazing life experience, whether the experiences are amazing or how you experience them feels amazing to you. Your inner identity didn’t shift from a divine expression of God-Mind to you believing it was less than that overnight. So it won’t necessarily shift back overnight either. But, you can do it, step by step, day by day, moment by moment. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.     

           

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

Do You Practice Victim Mentality?

Do you ever practice or feel trapped in the practice of victim mentality? If so, it’s time to understand some of what’s going on so that you can muster the courage to shift this and live a healthier life.

Author Rebecca L. Norrington writes in her soon-to-be-published book, RealitySpirituality: The Truth About Happiness (April 2014), that even Superman had his kryptonite. She’s right. And there may be a larger number of us who are not immune to this feeling and practice of victim mentality than are immune, including those who are otherwise quite strong emotionally, mentally, and spiritually (in fact, it’s the strong ones who hang onto dysfunctional relationships longer, because they aren’t quitters). However, let’s keep victims of crimes out of this conversation and focus solely on those who live with a victim mentality in everyday life and what this means.

First of all, it means that when you practice victim mentality, there must be one or more oppressors (though one is enough, thank you) in your immediate vicinity and or farther afield who are more than ready and able to “assist” you with that experience. You can’t have one without the other. Now, either the oppressor does not have a victim mentality or does and has grasped the opportunity to become an oppressor of anyone who also has a victim mentality and therefore will put up with that treatment.   

Anyone with a long-held victim mentality more than likely grew up with at least one person who had some form of personality disorder in their midst, such as a narcissist, sociopath (though narcissists are sociopaths), or some other disorder, diagnosed and treated or not. The patterns of these behaviors and their effects became so familiar and ingrained (and “effective”) in childhood that those with a victim mentality continue to attract other narcissists (or those with other disorders) into their life—to help them to choose and learn how to release victim mentality taken on as a result of their early-years experience.

This article will focus on narcissism for a few reasons: 1) all of us express some of the characteristics from time to time (especially if we are or have been in a relationship of any kind with a narcissist), so we want to be aware of their expression forms; and 2) there are likely far more narcissists out there than known about since they typically don’t seek assistance or aren’t accurately diagnosed and treated (they are consummate actors who deflect attention from them onto others who they say are the “problem”), or end therapy early on, so can’t be accurately or approximately counted in statistics.

If you’re not familiar with narcissistic characteristics, here’s what is taken from Doreen Virtue’s book, Assertiveness for Earth Angels, which she obtained from the Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) that says a person who has this disorder has at least five of these characteristics.

1. A grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., the individual exaggerates achievements and talents and expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
2. A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. A belief that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
4. A need for excessive admiration.
5. A sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations); interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends).
6. A lack of empathy (is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others).
7. Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her.
8. A demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes.

Doreen also states that “A narcissist surrounds him- or herself with people who agree with him or her, and anyone who dares to raise questions will be removed. A narcissist is terribly insecure and jealous, and views people and animals as objects to stroke his or her ego.” This can be challenging behavior to be around for anyone. For an Earth Angel, it’s even more so because they see what’s really going on, but their spiritual, mental, and emotional aspects are to be nice and to play nice: they are genuinely kind and caring. These angels, or anyone whose nature is genuinely caring, is like nectar to a narcissist: narcissists, who feel emptiness of Self all the time, need to “feed” off of others’ energy continuously.

Melanie Tonia Evans finally removed herself from a relationship with a narcissist and reinvented herself and her life; and she makes it clear that her information applies to anyone who is a narcissist, not just a life partner or spouse. She also states that those with strong narcissistic tendencies can be helped, whereas those with severe narcissism cannot. In her online article titled “Narcissism Understood,” which I highly recommend you read, as well as her two free e-books, if you suspect or know you’re in a relationship of any kind with a narcissist, says, “A narcissist feels terrorized at the thought of vulnerability (being emotionally honest), and develops a pathological false self to guard the unresolved emotional wounds…. Have you loved a person who is never wrong, never sorry and believes it is always someone else’s fault? Have you ever experienced an individual who’s non-accountable for their behaviour and doesn’t learn despite the mayhem and pain they produce? Have you witnessed an individual who has no tolerance for the slightest criticism, even when given constructive advice....

“The most massive (and initially devastating) realisation that’s necessary to assimilate, in order to pull away and create authentic love, is that the narcissist is incapable of genuine love and empathy. His purpose for creating a love relationship is for two reasons. Firstly, to secure narcissistic supply (attention), and secondly, to have an outlet to project his internal pain and torture onto. Relationship partners who are hooked and ‘hang on’ make the perfect subjects to abuse…. Have you ever been in a relationship with an individual who demands your attention incessantly and becomes depressed, sulky and even full of rage if your attention goes elsewhere? This is one of the earliest warning signs of a narcissist. Please understand healthy adults do not behave in such a way.”

And here’s where anyone with a victim mentality comes in: “Compliant co-dependants believe in unconditional love. They will tolerate being damaged and feel sorry for the other person, yet in reality co-dependents are terrified about laying boundaries and taking control of their own lives. Boundary function is imperative protection against a narcissistic individual. Co-dependents love so much it hurts; whereas their self-development lies in learning to love themselves enough to stop the pain. When a co-dependent teams up with a narcissist (and many do) they will have their scant boundaries disintegrated and end up tolerating behaviour and abuse that they never thought they would. They will try again and again to prove their love, devotion and loyalty to the narcissist, all the way to their self-demise. Why is this exercise futile? Because the narcissists who cannot accept themselves (and have deep self-loathing) can’t accept love, intimacy and commitment from another, and are powerless to grant and sustain these commodities with another. It’s an impossibility to give inner resources that simply don’t exist…. Narcissists are angry children in adult bodies.” She added that narcissists detest those they fool and control; they detest everyone, especially themselves. You cannot win with a narcissist; you can only stop being an energy source for them. This is terribly sad to realize, but an important fact to be aware of.

If you have experienced victim mentality, or still do, you may have noticed that “opportunities” to confront this unresolved matter increase in energy and severity over time. It’s as though the Universe is asking you what it will take for you to pull yourself out of this mentality or how big of a “stick” will you have to be whacked with before you get angry enough to say, “Enough!” If you shift the pattern of victim in your mind to no-longer-a-victim, you’ll stop attracting such types to you. I’m not saying you’ll never bump into such types again, but if you do, you’ll be better able to recognize the signs early on and deal with them sooner and better, or know to walk away and not feel bad about it: You will have saved yourself years of agony and given yourself the chance to have a loving, fulfilled, and joyful life. You won’t get lost in feelings of inferiority or believe that you deserve such treatment. You don’t deserve it.

In Doreen’s book she talks about how Earth Angels don’t like conflict and confrontation—because that’s not their true nature. If you’re an Earth Angel, this is why you find yourself with a victim mentality: You don’t like to hurt anyone (it hurts you to do this) and you want everyone to be happy. But this can be carried too far, and at your expense (and a narcissist, or person with another disorder, will “eat you alive” until there’s nothing left, if you let it go that far). Two outcomes are feared by Earth Angels: Your suppressed anger and frustration will explode out of you one day and you’ll say or do things you can’t take back and know will make you feel un-angel-like or you’ll become apathetic (also un-angel-like), because you are exhausted on all levels. And soon you, just like anyone else, find yourself feeling miserable and unable to figure out what to do to “fix the other person,” which is not only impossible, but also not your job, and also entraps you in judgment, which is another mind-prison.

Maintaining the practice of victim mentality causes you to hold anger and depression in your energy field. You wear frustration like a heavy wool coat in summer. That energy has to go somewhere, and it will likely go into your body and manifest as some form of imbalance or illness: physical, mental, spiritual, or all three. The extreme of this is when someone practices victim mentality with themselves more than anyone else does it to them. To get into the frame of mind that starts you on the path out of victim mentality, you have to ask yourself some uncomfortable questions, such as: What do I really get out of this? Why do I believe I deserve this? Why do I hesitate to take care of myself in the right way, despite what anyone says or does, or might?

Doreen talks about being assertive, because anyone who practices victim mentality needs to practice assertiveness, not aggressiveness, which would only feed the narcissist as much as being silent. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone who has a disorder, you may need extra, qualified assistance to get past victim mentality. Understand that it may take a while to clear yourself of the long-held toxic beliefs that have kept you in this mentality. But this is a learned mindset that you can unlearn. And, please keep in mind that victim mentality is really only a practice, because all of us are powerful expressions of the One Consciousness: Victim is not who we really are.

You have to get to the point where you are no longer willing to not speak up for yourself, but you also want to be as balanced and as objective as you possibly can. Find a way to say what you need to say to make your point, while causing as little emotional pain to yourself as possible; but don’t be afraid of the pain a person might choose to feel if you speak your truth with assertiveness and integrity. It’s to your benefit to do so. And in some instances, you may have to walk away from the relationship, although, Evans says no contact or modified contact is the only way to deal with a severe narcissist. Be clear about this: if you’re dealing with a narcissist (or some other disorder), any attempt to rationalize with them about better behavior is a form of feeding them: they’ve still got you dancing to their tune and giving them nearly all or all of your attention and life force.

To get out of victim mentality, you have to be done with being a doormat. This can be frightening, if not terrifying, in some situations. What helps is to realize you don’t have to do it all at once. You can do it in small steps, small steps of speaking up for yourself and or taking action on your behalf in an assertive way. If you tremble or can barely get your voice to work, say what you need to say or do what you need to do anyway. Establish and honor your boundaries. Each time you do this you’ll get stronger and stronger.

Victim mentality holds you back. There’s no way it can’t. You can’t be and live as your authentic self if you practice victim mentality. You can’t take necessary, calculated risks that take you higher and higher in life or into your purpose. You can’t feel whole and good, especially about yourself, when you practice victim mentality. You can’t be true to yourself or truly yourself with others. You may also give more mental and emotional attention to the oppressor(s) in your life than to you and your own life. This practice must shift, and you want to research the best ways to do this because it will be tempting to stay fixed in blame about the oppressor(s) or rehashing in your mind over and over what they’ve done, which is still not the focus and energy on your life and mind patterns that are needed.

Grasp the Truth that your worth is not dependent on anyone—it is a given as an expression of the One Consciousness that you are. You are especially not to believe what a narcissist or anyone with a disorder tells you about yourself: They’ll tell you negatives in order to keep you jumping and asking how high to jump next in order to satisfy them, which is impossible. Afraid or not, begin to speak up for yourself and or take right action. Begin to honor your right to be and to be treated appropriately, and to be in the company of those who demonstrate healthier behaviors and genuine love and caring. It’s the way to be your authentic self and express your true gift and divine light in the world. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.    

           

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer

Do You Have A Right to Be Happy?

There are some who believe it is unrealistic to be happy these days, much less to even focus on being happy. Are they right, or are they missing a significant point?

An article I wrote asking if we’re too busy to be happy received this (unaltered) comment from a reader: “no, I am too realistic to be happy! can you be happy, when Russia invades Ukraine? can you be you be happy, when all the world is put by Russia on a brink of another war? can you be happy, when you are lied to? can you? then, you are a philosopher, a saint or an alien to this Earth.”

I felt it was important to give genuine consideration to the commenter’s ultimate concern and his obvious frustration or upset. I wanted my reply to honor his feelings, and perhaps even assist him, if he’s open to this. So rather than send him a direct reply, especially since I believe his feelings may be shared by a number of people, and certainly by all of us at certain times in our lives, especially these days, I decided to do it this way. Maybe he’ll see this and read it as well.

Dear Commenter: Thank you for reading my article and sharing your honest thoughts and feelings about it. You brought up some valid points, which I’d like to respond to. The first thing I’d like to comment on is that I am not a philosopher. I do make an effort to consider and evaluate everything by using my whole brain—when I remind myself to do this for my and for the benefit of everyone involved (more on this in a bit). I’m not a saint, but I am spiritual-metaphysical, which helps to keep me balanced as often as possible, and sane, especially during times that seem to lack sanity or rationality.

About being an alien to Earth, the scientists and researchers who don’t mind bucking mainstream (controlled) science are willing to say that the evidence clearly indicates that none of us originated here, and that there is evidence of our DNA having been altered; and in fact, I recently heard someone on TV say that our DNA has altered by 7% from even 5,000 years ago. I’m not being facetious with this comment. This is the science that’s not being promoted to the public. We, and our history, appear to be so much more than mainstream would like us to believe.

Significant as the events you mentioned are, there are even more events happening, which fit on the scale from minor to severe, than many of us know about, want to know about, or are fearful to believe or imagine really goes on, or can hold in our minds, much less our hearts. Taking all of this into account, it can seem unrealistic to focus on our own happiness at such a time as now. It’s more than tempting to become overwhelmed by all that’s happening, but that can lead us even farther away from where we are meant to go, which is into higher consciousness and awareness, so that we can be better humans than we sometimes or currently are, and be more effective about addressing what’s going on and do so in the right way.

Perhaps it’s the word “happy” that you disagree with, and that’s understandable. Perhaps if you consider exchanging “happy” with “possessed of and motivated through greater conscious awareness,” that might feel better to you or seem more realistic (more on this in a bit, as well). Happy, after all, is just a word with as many meanings as there are individuals to perceive and experience that feeling. And as odd as it can seem to some of us, there are those who only feel truly alive when they are upset about something or with someone.

About being lied to: It’s helpful to us to remember there’s a great deal of information, misinformation (poorly interpreted information), and disinformation (deliberate confusion of information by making just enough of what’s shared true to get people to believe it or making just enough of what’s shared false to convince people to disbelieve it) out there. It all seems like chaos. I recently heard someone say there is no chaos, only a pattern that is not understood, like an ant making its way across a colorful carpet. To the ant, the colors may seem to have no rhyme or reason; but if the ant could look at the carpet from far enough above, it would see the colors form a pattern.

The reason why much of what’s happening is happening is being addressed by a number of reputable people, people who pay attention to the patterns most of us ignore or are unaware of or simply choose not to believe could be possible, despite evidence. By reputable, I mean these people’s efforts, experiences, and proven results as researchers over many years or decades have demonstrated that their information is worth giving real thought to; although, mainstream wants us to believe them to be insubstantial or delusional, as though a good deal of what’s going on isn’t crazy in itself. I offer this disclaimer, though: Do properly vet whoever’s information you check into. And, there is inner knowing within you about anything; and there are evidences all around you.

There are a number of things we can do to become better humans and to be more effectively part of the solution. We can start with the natural laws of the universe, which are not manmade, but are of the God Mind or One Consciousness that created everything in existence, or more precisely, thought everything into existence. The natural laws are these. The Law of Mentalism: Thoughts are formed before any manifestation, therefore, thoughts create things and conditions; The Law of Correspondence: The above is like or similar to the below, and the below is like or similar to the above—they mirror each other; The Law of Vibration: There is no non-motion or complete rest, everything moves, everything vibrates; The Law of Polarity: Everything has a dual nature, that is, has its pair of opposites, however, the opposites are identical in nature (e.g., temperature), but different in degree; The Law of Rhythm: Everything has its tides, its ascents and descents; The Law of Cause and Effect: Every cause has its effect; every effect has its cause; The Law of Gender: Everything and everyone has masculine and feminine principles; and then there’s The Unifying Principle that encompasses and binds the 7 Natural Laws together: CARE. It’s up to each of us to consider what each of the laws mean and how they operate within our lives. It’s up to each of us to examine how often we use or practice the unifying principle.

It’s up to each of us to understand how our brain works and how it’s supposed to serve us. We need to understand that the left brain is logistical, is the center of the ego or personality, and is where all thoughts about physical reality are addressed—from a limited perspective. We need to understand that the right brain is where our creativity, intuition, emotions, esoteric understanding and experiences happen and reveal themselves to us, and where we process thoughts about the non-physical aspects of existence—from a more expansive perspective. We need to understand that our pineal gland is there to balance thoughts between the left and right brains so that we don’t get stuck in one side or the other. Why do we need to understand this?

We can easily get stuck in the left brain, where lack is perceived and is where most of the people causing the problems in the world operate out of (the absence of heart is obvious, or should be). It’s where we process thoughts about all that’s going on in our lives and in the world around us, from a limited perspective. When we do this, we forget about the Truth of our spiritual natures, which reminds us or demonstrates to us, or can, who we really are and what we are really capable of. But neither is it helpful to get stuck in the right brain and take no positive or right action.

I’m not saying we should not be concerned about what’s going on—I certainly am. But I am saying that existing in negative energy, in any of its forms, is contributing to the very circumstances and events going on in our lives and the world today (reread the natural laws). What are our thoughts mostly about? We are focused on the effects rather than the causes, and we seem to be stuck in this loop. Whether we believe it or not or wish it weren’t so, we are an integral part of what is going on all around us.

We go along with choices, rules, and actions that make no sense or that harm us or others in some way. We go along with fighting each other rather than telling those who decide on or choose wars (for profit or control or whatever their own purpose is), often decided on before any reason is created and is then presented to the public to garner support, to go find a remote field where they can’t harm the rest of us and fight among themselves, because the rest of us choose to experience as much peace and harmony and mutual support as we can create for us and our world.

Krishnamurti said: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” You can’t get people to ignore natural laws and the unifying principle of care unless you convince them they have reason to do so. This means fear, divisiveness, and outright animosity or hatred has to be instigated and promoted. Unfortunately, there are a large number of us who don’t question this enough, who buy into such promotions, often under various labels, and then do what’s expected of us or behave as is anticipated, rather than examine what matches natural law and the unifying principle of care and what doesn’t.

Ultimately, it goes beyond the question: Do we have a right to be happy or to focus on being so, especially these days. It’s actually more about being in a positive vibration as often as possible—because we are far more than this physical experience, even though we don’t often act like it and sometimes don’t even believe it. We are not as powerless as we tend to believe we are or have been taught to believe we are. If we want to shift anything, we have an obligation to put ourselves into a positive vibration as often as we can so that we alter what we can. We have an obligation to change our visualizations, actions, emotions, words, and thoughts to ones that create harmony and well-being for us individually, as well as humanity as a collective of individuals. You cannot improve anything by energizing it with negative energy. You can improve anything by restoring true balance, and true balance starts and ends within each one of us. That’s not my opinion, that’s natural law.

For me, moments of happiness—and happiness can be quiet and calm just as it can be exuberant—are a form of appreciation: to and for the One Consciousness; for the gift life is; for free will, as challenging as it can sometimes be to exercise it wisely and compassionately; for the ability to choose love or kindness over any form of hate or mean tendencies; for moments when spirit is put before ego; and so much more. Such moments remind us all who we are and how we can be; and possibly, hopefully, deter us from living from our baser nature aspects and instead choose to live with higher conscious awareness.

So, yes, Commenter, I can choose to be happy or rather feel moments of happiness and inner peace, even with all that’s going on. I feel it’s not just my responsibility but my duty to help hold a more loving vibration on this planet—especially now. This doesn’t mean I ignore what’s going on, but does mean I can apply my energy about it differently, from a more spiritual perspective, while I make my own type of contribution, which is writing what I do, and anything else I receive inspiration to do, including being an example whenever I can, especially when I can move myself out of ego and into love, compassion, and collaboration. To be and do otherwise is to become part of the problem rather than part of the solution. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.    

          

Practice makes progress.

© Joyce Shafer